ECB – Page 5 – Being Outside Cricket

Dispiriting

Mar 17, 2015LordCanisLupus32 Comments

I’m not in the mood.

If I was to write something, it would probably fill up the Dmitri Swear Box, and I’m a bit short of the readies at the moment.

There has been no news. I didn’t really expect any. What I didn’t expect is the subtle buffering of the incumbents. We should be demanding change, the proper change, the change that gives up opportunities to move forward. This coach, and this MD have not been up to it. I’m sorry, but they’ve been abject, hanging on to that India test series win like a drowning man clutching a serpent.

Keep on doing what we are doing. That’s the way. Blame county cricket. Blame inexperience. Blame structures. Blame anyone but those running the show. Blameless to a man.

I’m not seeking vindication for my views. Yes, I don’t mind being proved right, but that isn’t what motivates me. I care passionately about my country, and the cricket team we put out. I have suffered through bad times. I don’t have the monopoly on that. But I’m not having it that I might be motivated by vindication. If anyone has any doubt about that, I suggest they read other blogs who might be more comfy than this one. You think I give up all this time, and effort, to get some vindication? Deluded.

Had enough with these people. They deserve the lapdogs that report on them. They deserve the cosy establishment that cossets them. The game will go down the drain, and no doubt they’ll all be saying it wasn’t their fault.

After all, they didn’t have the balls to sack a lame duck chair who would have lost an election, instead giving him a cosy international sinecure. You think they’d do something decisive now?

Rumbling

Mar 15, 2015Mar 15, 2015LordCanisLupus123 Comments

So many of you have picked up on the George Dobell / David Hopps piece on cricinfo. Paul Downton’s future appears in the balance. There are rumblings afoot. It comes as little surprise to me that if this meeting was meant to be held in secrecy that information has come out in advance. As it’s George we’ll call it good journalism.

I’m not going to be dancing any jigs, whooping that I told you so, or any of that. This catastrophe could have been written last year. The warning signs were going off all over the place. When, as an administrator, you are the story, and if you don’t have a “terrific year”, you are going to be in trouble. The ECB made their stance clear about this World Cup. It would present us with a great chance to do well, and from a long way out the decks were cleared. It was a disaster. Much was not in our gift, but a hell of a lot was.

This is a sad time for English cricket. It’s not the time for joy or crowing. It’s the bloody time to unite behind a team we can believe in, and with no petty administrative spats. I’ll only believe this is for real when Andy Flower’s shadow isn’t cast over the proceedings. We do have a lot to thank him for, but just like the presence of Ferguson loomed over Moyes, it isn’t doing anyone any good him remaining on site.

Pietersen has been the symptom, and now, finally, we might be coming to a more realistic diagnosis. We may have a very interesting time to watch this play out, but things look to be moving. Given this is the ECB, don’t expect them to do the expected.

Carefree

Mar 12, 2015LordCanisLupus34 Comments

Although I am not, and never have been, a Chelsea fan, I thought I’d use one of their buzzwords for the title of this post in honour of another edifice with a reputation based on perception rather than reality. Much like the Premier League’s vainglorious battle cry that it is “the best league in the world”, the machinations and spinning of England’s cricket team approach to tournaments and series as being the most advanced, the most professional and the most thorough is becoming as laughable a mantra. Work hard and the results will come. Everything comes through hard work. Perspiration rather than inspiration.

It seems, from the tone of some (not all) of the articles that I have read, and I have most certainly not read them all, is that although this is a calamitous World Cup, and another opportunity gone begging, (a) it doesn’t matter; and (b) if we win the Ashes, who gives a stuff. This sort of attitude drives me round the bend. It is not, and it has never been a quid pro quo. Let me take you back to the year 1987. Australia had been on the end of some chastening test losses, including losing at home to New Zealand and a beating in the Ashes both home and away. Lore is that Border got sick of it, and turned it around by being nasty. I contend that winning the 1987 World Cup was the real start. They stuck with players that had disappointed, believing in their talent (Steve Waugh, David Boon) and started to build on that. What they needed was a boost, and winning the World Cup was it. They did not look back. They came over in 1989 and thrashed us to pieces – without rain helping us in tests 3 and 6, it would have been 6-0 – and our complacency was matched by our Dexterian stupidity. Australia have never thought in terms of either/or, yet we sit here watching people say that only the one thing matters to us. Who the hell do we think we are?

Mike Selvey’s article posted last night, and which was summed up beautifully by SimonH as a “continental-sized piece of dung” is an example of our condescension to ODI cricket in particular, and to fans as well as it insults our intelligence. It talks about how fate was cruel to England in terms of the run-out. If Jordan had stayed, if he’d seen us home with the impressive Woakes, and if we’d beaten Afghanistan (notice how this was just assumed) and we got to the Quarter-Finals then anything could happen is not clever. It really, really isn’t. A lot of money goes into the game through Sky and our ticket fees. This, in turn, is used to set up all sorts of facilities and amenities to the top level that their predecessors could only dream of. Increasingly, I’m seeing more of this “if only….then this” philosophy permeating English cricket. I see it in the thoughts around the Ashes. If only Australia’s aged players break down like ours did last time around, then we have a brilliant opportunity. Seriously, is there anyone out there who thinks Australia aren’t going to beat us handily. Since 2013-14, we lost a test series at home to Sri Lanka, and yes, beat India, who we all blithely assume checked out once the going got tough in Southampton. Australia lost in UAE, yes, but they won in South Africa. They then comfortably saw aside India who had Kohli in form. There’s this assumption that this 3-1 win against India is some sort of indication that the test team is flying. It isn’t. It hasn’t faced high pace yet. That elephant in the room is never really mentioned.

I can’t make people care about ODI cricket, but I’ll bet these players really care. If anything they may care too much. I don’t know, but the fact that this winter was all ODI cricket and the only focus was the World Cup may have hindered our chances. The format of the game we are least worst at is test cricket, and a good number of the ODI squad play for our test team. Perhaps there was an opportunity to have a quick two test series against Bangladesh, or maybe stick a test in somewhere against Sri Lanka, but we chose not to. We were the only full test nation, I think, to take this clear the decks approach. Every media man or woman thought this was a good idea. Hindsight will probably show that instead of formulating a team ethic, a viable game plan and a familiarity with the game, it entrenched a cosy squad with little to be cosy about, downloaded and installed a flawed game plan which seemed to actively discourage innovation and flexibility until specific moments, and our familarity turned into a inability to adapt. Nothing screamed that more to me when that waste of vocal chords, Paul Downton, cited as an element of progress that we’d “made 300 a couple of times”.

The writings of George Dobell throughout this debacle have been interesting as they strike a different tone. There is always a suggestion, a comment, a positive proposal gained through his love and interest in county cricket and his observing the game. We don’t see this anywhere else. Mark is always on here going on about the cosy cabal between the ECB and the press, and these stories about Downton speaking to various members of them to get back in line and back the boys is worryingly backing up our Mark! The theme of this blog, and it’s angry fore-runner (HDWLIA is still available from the links on the right) has been to hold those in authority to account. It is also to hold those who report on it to similar account. That sounds pompous, but it isn’t.

I’m also not fooled by this turning on Moores by certain elements of the press. These are not new men, persuaded by the evidence just presented to them. They are following not leading opinion. Downton was toast ages ago in the eyes of many. I was getting messages from people who had that view privately but were not expressing it in public. To many the machinations and deliberations in the corridors of power are an arcane irrelevance to the public, those “outside cricket”. But they aren’t in this modern age of social media and blogging. Everything is under scrutiny. The one thing an individual with the hide of a rhino like Giles Clarke brings is the convenient pantomime villain, who shrugs off this stuff like it is normal to him, and doesn’t care a jot. So the media push and prod him, but the executors of his plans stay under the radar. This blogger was at Downton from Day 1. Yes, because he fired KP, but more because he hadn’t the balls to come out, in public, and say why while I was being told how damn great he was by members of the media. I noted the other day Selfey said he wasn’t part of the plan to bring Downton in, but he certainly wasn’t missing an opportunity to big him up when he was appointed.

This carefree attitude to ODI cricket, to those inside the halls of power and towards the people who pay for it has shown in the spin after the event. The players must be sick as dogs, but all I hear is how nice they are, how they are a group of men who you can’t help to pull for. Lovely. We have nice losers. Nothing sums our country up more than that when it comes to sport. Don’t be a single-minded winner, an obsessive, a freak, a natural talent, a boat-rocker, because we find those uncomfortable in sport. Funny how those are always the ones in business though…. If only we turned the tables.

Carefree about ODIs once we’ve lost, carefree about people in power, carefree about our attention span. The selectivity is what grates.

Just another moan on my day off. What’s new….

Mob

Mar 12, 2015Mar 12, 2015LordCanisLupus24 Comments

I am currently in a bit of turmoil. Personal reasons to some degree, also been told I’m moving positions in my work life to a newly created post which I want no part of but have no choice, it seems. So unhappiness is not uncommon in those that have followed my path, and nor are the ups and downs of moods. So it is with this in mind that, other than my rant at Downton the other day, I’ve taken a back seat to watch all those follow the words I said at the start of this wonderful ~~adventure~~ car-crash and that resonated with so many of you.

However, let’s do what I used to do, and fisk some load of old twaddle. I’ve selected Brenkley. That should come as no surprise. I don’t know who has been saying he’s seeing the other side because this load of old establishment shite isn’t giving the game away.

England refused yesterday to buckle to the demands of the mob. In many ways, it was an admirable stance, which did not exactly ignore the evidence but tried to lend it balance and perspective.

We’re off to a flyer. Those that have pointed out the failings at the start of this gruesome twosome are “a mob”. Nice one. And by ignoring those who are being proved right every day this is “admirable”, and by doing so they are showing “balance” and perspective”. Taking the opposite view those of us who have pointed out the failings are contemptible, we are unbalanced and lacking in perspective. Good start. I’m looking forward to the rest of this…. (unless Brenkley is taking the piss, and frankly, if this is satire, it’s good, because I’m not getting it)

In short, it seems that as nobody expected much from the World Cup campaign and despite the fact that it has gone much worse than anybody could possibly have imagined in their most horrific nightmare, everybody can carry on regardless. No one will be sacked, or asked to resign or pushed conveniently aside.

Downton thought we’d be a bit of a force to be reckoned with, didn’t he? You giving him a free pass? So this it what it comes to. Go in with a defeatist attitude, lose, and it’s all OK. Those who put the structures in place, those who cleared the decks, those who focused on ODI cricket and those who planned our campaign should stay. Because we’ve always been crap. That’s the attitude that gets you to the top of the pile. I do hope Brenkley is taking the michael here.

Because if he is, I’m missing the gag.

A review is being launched….

Do stop it Aggers.

as soon as England return home next week after completing their programme with a fixture against Afghanistan on Friday. But it is seeking reasons for the failure so they will not be repeated – a mantra heard often before – not heads that should roll.

Those reasons will not be the MD who set this course, or the greatest coach of his generation. I see 1999 referred to a lot as our worst ever performance. Let’s remember we beat Sri Lanka and Zimbabwe in that competition and finished 4th in the group thanks to a bit of a freak result in the South Africa v Zimbabwe game. Here we are 5th in the group. This is the worst ever. Seek a reason for the worst ever World Cup performance after the worst ever Ashes performance last year when a review was deemed unneccessary other than to fire one of your marquee players and give the old coach a nice domestic number. I don’t trust these people to review a Janet and John book.

The loss of four matches from five in the tournament, which has led to England’s elimination, is a matter for grave disappointment, but no more.

Who is saying this? Brenkley? Is he mad? Or is he doing this in an ECB voice, because it’s bloody hard to tell at this point…. In a sense he is right, it is sport, and that isn’t life and death. But it’s not an old boys club either, and the rest of the world don’t seem to be so matter-of-fact oh-well about it.

Peter Moores was the right man when he was re-appointed as head coach 10 months ago and he remains the right man now.

I’ll let that statement stand for the ridicule it deserves… I’m sure I heard that about Alastair Cook about a billion and one times.

Whether the public will be appeased by that, or whether they expected precisely this sort of return and will put up with anything, will gradually become clear as the summer unfolds.

Public appeasement? Nice. We want to see the best for our team. Very few people believe that is represented by Moores and Downton. I feel a little for having a pop at Moores, but you know, Bunkers, many of your colleagues in the press box (and Etheridge doesn’t hide his views) are in our camp, not some ECB “don’t give in to the great unwashed” camp. Many think Moores needs to go. It is nice to be joined by them after this time, when we haven’t exactly been proved wrong, have we? You carry on, old fruit….

To rely on survival on the grounds that we don’t give a flying one about ODIs is contemptuous, and seems to indicate this mob that is invoked in the early part doesn’t actually exist. Make your mind up.

It would seem certain that England cannot go on losing after performing so poorly in a tournament for which they specifically prepared over a period of five months.

Because, as the mantra goes, we only give a shit about the Ashes.

Paul Downton, the managing director of England cricket, who calls the shots, was calm and unflustered yesterday when he dealt with a string of questions in a conference call.

Obsequious. I like that word. Think it applies to both you and Downton. Personally I thought he made himself look even more of an incompetent, out of touch, should never have been appointed imbecile in the interviews I saw, but hey, you make your own mind up.

He was in London, his interrogators were in Sydney. For all we knew he might have been pulling faces into the telephone but much as he might have felt like it, that is not his style.

No. I call it misplaced arrogance. That’s his style. Incompetent buffoonery. More his style. Out of his depth that he’s below fish with lights (thanks Andy), is more his style. You keep kissing his arse.

“I’m not saying everybody’s job is safe and I’m not saying that everybody is going to be sacked,” he said. “It feels as though, from your perspective, there needs to be a scapegoat. There needs to be a target.

Do stop it Aggers.

“All I’m saying is we’re in a position where we’re a transitioning side and that will take time. We have to take the right decisions to ensure we do that as quickly and smoothly as we can. But it’s too early to say yet in terms of any definitives: he’s going or he’s not going.”

Meaningless business-speak, unmeasurable, aspirational cock-waffle. May I also point you to this tweet by your’s truly on Sunday.

We win tonight and tomorrow's word is hope. We lose and it's "transition".

— Dmitri Old (@DmitriusOld) March 8, 2015

I’m actually worried that I can predict this shit. By the way, regretfully, this was not “all I’m saying” from Downton. When he does appear from the cupboard under the stairs, you can’t stop him.

Downton backed Moores continuing in his role. It would be easy to say that he had to do so considering he was instrumental in his reappointment 10 months ago. But there was something oddly reassuring in his comforting words. This was not a man who would be easily swayed from his course, whatever the accusations of misguidedness.

Because nothing screams “fucking incompetence” like bad appointments prolonged, just to prove how god-damn awful they really are. You, Bunkers, might find that “oddly reassuring”. I call it complete insanity. “Hey, I can’t drive an F1 car, and I’ve just totalled it. I tell you watch, let me drive another one…and for kicks, stick a load of people in the way. I’ll be fine…..”

“The first thing to say is that whilst we’re hugely disappointed with our performance let’s put it into context again,” Downton said. “Peter was appointed only 10 months ago and as I said on TV yesterday whoever was appointed to that position was always going to have a bit of a job.

Well, it was 11 months ago, but I’m being picky. Downton’s as good with numbers as he is picking England coaches. I’d have expected a bit more from the “greatest coach of his generation” than this. I mean, really I would. I’m sure a team to be reckoned with was also on your mind as well Paul, but hey, you cherry pick what the hell you want. It’s transition time (as if he and his appointment had absolutely no influence at all…. all those players they “bigged up”, all the illusory “progress”) and that’s the message. Scoundrels.

“We’re in the middle of a very significant rebuilding phase. We offered six new central contracts during the summer. My first job when I came in here was to try to re-establish a Test side which we made progress with in the summer. The next job was to get to the World Cup with as competitive a side as we could. We always knew we were coming from behind, we haven’t won back-to-back one-day internationals for well over a year now. All I will tell you is that there are no quick fixes in this situation. Look through history, look at any very successful side which has broken up, how long it takes sometimes to rebuild again.

India recovered in a fortnight. We have more players returning to a World Cup (6) than India (4) and Australia (5). Beware of false prophets spouting codswallop. Also, who has presided over this lamentable ODI run?

“I am very confident that in a year’s time, in two years’ time this group of players will be battle hardened and will be more competitive.”

Jam tomorrow. Blah blah blah…. They may even be a team to really be reckoned with. Did you let him get away with this unmeasurable cock-rot?

Downton is seeking to buy time. The trouble is that sport demands results and this is the sixth World Cup in succession in which England have played badly.

Oh, we are so picky. They set the quarter-final as a low bar target and they couldn’t even meet that. We don’t have a right to demand something better than that? Really? REALLY? We are so damn unreasonable…. It’s such a trouble that we might expect a bit more bang for our buck. Such a nuisance…. After all, who targeted this tournament or are we supposed to forget this?

For this one, they moved Ashes series, to ensure players were not turning up drained after a tough series against Australia, and concentrated solely on one-day cricket for almost six months. The result was still calamity and worse a side that did not lack skill but was intimidated by the event.

Nothing to do with the coach then? The management who prepare them for this?

If Downton is supported by his own bosses at the England and Wales Cricket Board, and all the indications suggest he has their faith that corners will be turned, it would be presumptuous of him to expect two years. That is an eternity in any walk of life and he should know from his former career in the City that fortunes can be won and lost five times over in that sort of period.

“all the indications suggest he has their faith”. Well, I’d suggest they check faith at the door and check that uncomfortable thing called evidence. Read HDWLIA. There’s plenty there. Listen to Geek and Friends podcasts, read Twitter feeds, read BTL from those not suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. Hell, start reading some of the press, even NEWMAN. They should go now. If they don’t, then they are treating the fans with contempt. Even those that don’t think they are. If I cock up my new role in the first year so badly that we lose tons and tons of money, it wouldn’t be another two years, I’d be gone. This bloke has no track record in cricket management at international level and he’s failed. The coach has a failed track record in international cricket, and he’s failed again. I see one trend. You believe in faith, ECB. I know who is probably right. I have evidence, you have hope. That’s worked for Cook’s ODI form, the KP saga et al…

The Ashes this summer will take on a different hue. England were a laughing stock in Australia and New Zealand yesterday – and more. In two separate appearances on radio programmes in both countries, trying to offer some excuse for the poor beleaguered Poms, the presenters in both cases called England spineless.

That’s ok. No doubt they are a mob too. Damn colonials. You see, they don’t suffer fools down there. We don’t mind them if they are the right kind of bloke, or the right kind of family, or former cricketers employed by JPM.

Moores wants desperately to prove himself as a capable international coach. He would regret it forever if he left now with not only business unfinished but also because he has never quite yet shown he can cut it internationally as he so patently has at county level.

When I was younger, I was desperate to prove that an overweight, asthmatic, low-income clerical worker could convince Elle MacPherson that I was Mr Right. Sadly, I had to look at her calendar instead. Elle, I have unfinished business, but don’t tell my lovely Missus, eh….

Jesus, this sounds like a love letter. He so wanted to succeed, but leaving this business unfinished would be of regret. This is putrid.

“Clearly he said yesterday that as head coach he feels responsible,” Downton said. “We all feel responsible frankly because we feel we have let the country down and nobody wants to do that.

You don’t feel responsible, Downton. Your entire interview round has been to put forward why you aren’t responsible. This, above all, sickens me. He doesn’t feel as if it is his fault at all. Inexperience, transition, programme not set by him, not aware of T20 impact (I mean, for heaven’s sake, I’d sack him on the spot for that shite) etc. It’s excuses as to why it isn’t “their responsibility”. You let him get away with this.

“As far as his ability is concerned I still feel he is a very high quality coach, so, no nothing has changed since we appointed him 10 months ago. You don’t become a bad coach overnight but the scale of the issues we have got to deal with are significant as everybody has seen.”

It took him his next bit to say he (and Moores) weren’t responsible with these pesky “significant issues”. Many of us believe one of these “significant issues” is your serial incompetence, Downton.

Downton somehow brought to mind the daft wisecrack in a Carry On film from 50 years ago. “You’ve stood on my Indian dress,” said Barbara Windsor. “Sari,” said Kenneth Williams. “Don’t mention it.” Everybody’s sari and that makes everything all right.

No? Me neither…. Tell me I totally missed the point of this article. Tell me I’m wrong. Tell me this is one joke I just didn’t get.

Have a nice evening.

Resign

Mar 9, 2015Mar 9, 2015LordCanisLupus58 Comments

I have just sat through Paul Downton’s appearance on The Verdict.

Now, you know what I think of this clown. Please tell me if I’ve been proved wrong at any step. From the decision, to the outside cricket (which is a phrase he used in his own bio in the Cricketer’s Who’s Who in 1985), to the interview with Jonathan Agnew which blew a coach and horses through the confidentiality agreement, to his silence, to his being buried in the ECB during the summer, to his handling of Alastair Cook both in the summer and then his all-too-late dismissal from the ODI side, to his utterances in the lead up to this competition and then to today. This man is a walking incompetence. If he had one shred of dignity, one shred of personal pride he would resign. His presence is toxic, his pronouncements are teeth-itching and his appearance today, which no doubt will be painted as “bold” in ECB’s Ivory Tower, was as welcome as a jester at a funeral.

But not Downton. The interview wasn’t a mea culpa, it was a shrug of the shoulders. It wasn’t an admission of failings, but a promise of better times. Well, sorry. The Ashes, and a pretty decent England team, were jeopardised and in the case of the latter destroyed for this. The best prepared team (or it was supposd to be) ever had a man complaining that the team they put up to perform was inexperienced (note – England had six players from the 2011 squad – inexperience in World Cups was claimed by one of Moores/Downton – while Australia have five (Warner, Finch, Starc, Maxwell and Faulkner are newbies) and India four). There was focus on things going forward, more jam tomorrow, and what could I have done inheriting an ageing side shrugs. This is beyond the point of rage for me now. It’s coming closer to the point where it’s time to walk away while this buffoon appears unchallenged.

I don’t like doing this. I’d much rather be here today hoping we’d win against Afghanistan and the team might “click”. I make a confession here, in that I feel a bit for Moores, who took on this poison chalice and is now held up as the poster boy for the Flower failings as he does his desperate best not to look out of his depth. He has no credibility really, but he is an honest broker and I don’t like kicking people like him when they are down.

Sure, the players may not be good enough to win, but they are better than this. Much, much better. Downton making excuses for poor performance is a clear attempt to distance himself. There’s a penchant for cheap words, and no buck stopping with him.

There were those who painted this as a dream team. Moores and Downton. Those defenders in high positions need to take a good look at themselves. They need to watch that car crash interview (which I have, and I will burn, and I will keep for posterity) and ask themselves “what did I do?”

Downton must go. Moores probably should. Whittaker should. Saker should. Ramps needs to show some results. Flower must be disconnected asap. A clean house. A vision for the future with hope. Get them to enjoy the sport, not become Waitrose drones.

Repercussions will be long and tough. England need to pick themselves up for 17 test matches in 10 months. They need to do it without Downton. Sadly, he shows no sign of leaving. All you need to know.

Time to scapegoat the man who did the scapegoating.

https://twitter.com/DamianReilly/status/574994424163401728

If you feel up to it, read the Selvey review from WCM last year….

“…it is blindingly obvious that the ECB has found someone with a mass of credentials which could not be matched: successful Test and county cricketer; successful businessman for even longer; lawyer; qualified coach; influential committee man at Middlesex, MCC and ECB; and although not a part of the job description, a thoroughly decent man. There cannot be anyone who has a bad word to say about him.”

and…

“But the ECB has found a man who is just not eminently qualified and intelligent but enthusiastic, determined and discreet. He understands the demands of the game at the highest level and is an excellent empathetic listener who can sift information and make solid judgements.”

There will be more, a lot more…..

Imaginary – 1

Mar 8, 2015Mar 8, 2015LordCanisLupus10 Comments

Just to pass a Sunday night away, I thought I’d do a perception analysis on the current England World Cup squad. What do I mean by perception analysis? Well, it’s my position of where they stand in the team firmament, in the eyes of the media/supporters and my view of their establishment status.

Ian Bell “Why Does It Always Rain On Me” – Ian Bell is the coat-peg on which many England ills are hung. He has the talent, the laconic stroke play, the beauty of fluidity. But he isn’t Hashim Amla. He isn’t Alastair Cook. Neither do the runs come so easily, so frequently that he should be among the world greats, nor do they look like he grinds through struggles like our captain. Hence there’s never the love, certain BTL posters notwithstanding, nor is their an absence of frustration. When he looked like an alternative to Cook as a captain, this matters. The establishment hate under-performance, or getting out playing in an attacking vein. That’s not leadership material, Hence you get team-building stuff leaked. Bell should be an automatic selection, but he neither demands it, nor does he satisfy the vast majority of his fanbase. He is what he is, we have to take the rough with the smooth. Perception is he’s not a leader, but a follower, he’s the sort that can be painlessly dispensed with, and his frustrating inability to impose himself renders him weak in establishment eyes.

Moeen Ali – Clutching At Straws – It’s hard to say bad words about Moeen. He has a personality, which we all love, because drones are boring. He has improved as a spin bowler, but interestingly the credit for this appears to come from a Sri Lankan umpire and Mr Bell, which doesn’t say much about our coaching staff. His batting is just the strangest thing. If this were Ian Bell doing what Moeen Ali does, people would lose their minds. Asinine shot selection, a weakness against high paced short pitch bowling, and then innings like that Day 5 special at Headingley. His 128 against Scotland summed it up. Brilliant, but come on Moeen, a really really big one was there and….. However Moeen is as safe as the Bank of England in this team because he’s the anti-KP. Without KP in the team the ECB needed to find one superstar, and Moeen is potentially it. Never has a man with such a relatively small impact on a team been plastered over a Wisden Almanack. This isn’t having a go at Moeen – I love his play – but I want a lot, lot more. The perception is he is untouchable, the establishment will take his knocks and paint him as the uber success story and he is one of England’s important men.

Gary Ballance – Fill Me In – Nothing speaks England like trying to shoe-horn Gary Ballance into this World Cup team. One, he’s had no real match practice coming in to the tournament; two, he failed to prepare, so we had to prepare to fail as he broke a finger in the run-up; three, he’s been disastrous so far in the tournament; and four, the pyschological damage this might inflict going forward, as he is identified as a major failure is a major concern. Ballance as a test player still has doubters, who think his technique might get undressed at the top, top level. That’s further down the track, but this stubborn refusal to see the issues could impact. Where does he stand in the firmament? A test institution, an anti-KP, another tick in the box by putting him at three, and a new era success story. The media clearly have doubts, the fans seem to be hoping for the best but with a nagging fear of the worst, and the establishment will sing his praises until he fails. He’s bridged the KP gap at worst, and also filled the Trott shoes. Is he sticking-plaster or cement? I don’t think this World Cup has helped.

Joe Root – Gonna Make You A Star – Joe Root, future England captain. God, I hope not, for his sake. We need his runs. I like his temperament, I like his appetite for big scores, I like his fiery spirit on the field. But I also think he has that major monkey on his back, when, one 180 apart, he has been destroyed by the Aussies. In ODI cricket he looks like he has a clue. In my opinion he’s the sort of player other countries might open with, but he has number four now. Arguably he and Bell should swap spots. However, where Root is important is that he is an example of improvement under the current coaching regime, and hence something that can be claimed as a success. All credit to Flower for bringing him into the team, and he’s missed just one test (which he shouldn’t have) since then. In the establishment he is a pillar, a future captain, a fresh faced batsman with a long future. To the fans I sense a lukewarm appreciation, not a lot of love, not a lot of hate, just another worker bee, with a bit of a mouth and a bit of talent. To the media he is the Prince in waiting. Safe for now, but not our saviour. He’d be a great third best batsman on your team – if he’s your best, you’d sense we were in a bit of trouble.

Eoin Morgan – Down With This Sort Of Thing – Now. This one is interesting. In December, when Cook was dismissed, we were all pretty much as one pleased that Morgan had taken the team over. But were we really? Didn’t we all have a nagging worry over his form? Weren’t we all rather grabbing at the joie de vivre of that India T20 rather than ignoring the somewhat lacklustre other captaincy performances? Weren’t we seduced by his relative honesty over player performance and his somewhat forthright nature? The honeymoon on that is well and truly over as he utters management stat speak as if groomed for the role, and his batting performances have been disappointing. The anti-KP brigade easily conflate the Morgan appointment with the alliegance to the absent prince, and have been particularly harsh. Fact is, he’s no worse than Cook, but he’s not that much better either. I’ve never been totally convinced by him, but want him to do well. The media are funny over him, split down the middle quite a bit on him, while it’s reflected in the anthem crap. The establishment will have no hesitation dumping on him after the World Cup, the media will follow suit, the fans will put them behind him. He’s fallen a mighty way in three months, because, let’s face it, he hasn’t been given a fair deck.

James Taylor – Fight The Power – Oh yes. James Taylor. The poster child for what is wrong with everyone in this last year. First of all, never has one man’s assessment of a player carried so much bluster, and reflected influence. KP didn’t rate him, which you might have missed. Clearly doing analysis on this isn’t anyone’s strength because the way he’s been messed about since hasn’t exactly distanced the management’s view from that KP standpoint. When he got in to the team, he took his chance at number 3, whereupon our genius management slung him down at 6 to accommodate Ballance. Still baffles me. I genuinely don’t think we refuseniks have been angry enough about how Taylor has been treated, shipped from pillar to post, used as a last resort, and when successful treated with contempt, because of the KP thing. It’s thrown back “your man hated him, ner, ner, ner….” The establishment seem to have difficulty with him, the management abuse him, the fans aren’t sure. Me? I like him. A lot. He has that attitude. That “f*** you, I’ll show you” streak. That chip on his shoulder. He’ll do for me. But I feel as if I’m a bit of a minority on this one.

Alex Hales – One More Chance – Nothing sums up English cricket more than the next two names. Alex Hales. A talent, but instead of doing what Australia or others do, and mention what he can do, we seem to revel in picking holes in what he does. He’s the classic media prop, to point at someone outside the team and believe he could be an instant impact player, but that’s the problem. He gets one or two chances, he’ll get out in silly ways, and he’ll be dropped. Us Surrey fans have seen this with two of our previous players, Ally Brown and the late Ben Hollioake. They enter the scene with a performance of great impact (Brown an early ODI ton, Ben with his 60-odd v Aus, Hales with a breakout ton in the World T20) and then that is the standard he needs to do all the time. Then you do your damndest to downplay it. Nothing sums us up more than Phil Jaques playing for Notts above Hales. That’s an England selector doing that. He may play tonight, but what chance does he have. He’s not played a competitive game since before Christmas, he’s coming in completely cold, and he’s primed to fail. The establishment will not give a toss, nor will the management and we stand here scratching our heads. Welcome to England… (Update- GB’s Grandmum is correct to say that Hales played competitively in the Big Bash, and he is correct. My point was obviously meant about this format, but thanks for the clarification sir. I do appreciate the other eyes on me.)

Jos Buttler – Two Princes – And if you think Hales is symptomatic of our problems, then this guy shows you why we will never consistently win because we are suspicious of talent. That 120-odd at Lord’s was the biggest, clearest message that it was his time, now. But no. Cook downplayed it, the media questioned how good a keeper he is/was and we focused, as we always do, on the negatives and not the strengths. He had the temperament, the biggest notch needed on any player’s belt. He has destructive, innovative power with the bat, and he’s young and will work hard and improve. He moved counties to keep wicket, he took his chance when he got into the team and is someone other teams fear. So we stick him at 7, and don’t use any flexibility. We play someone with a 4 inch tear in his achilles over him, and still he may not have played if Prior hadn’t stepped down despite being as mobile as me on a Monday morning. The establishment can’t claim him as a success because they did him down, as did the management. The fans love him, by and large, with some curmudgeonly exceptions. We see hope and aspiration and derring-do in him. I like him. He’s the sort we need. Not the sort we need to fear.

Part 2 to follow – the bowlers….later.

Reporting

Mar 2, 2015LordCanisLupus26 Comments

Ah, with that off my chest, let us turn to the latest by Dmitri #1 George Dobell:

England have lost 16 of their last 21 ODIs against Full Members. The last four of those have been thrashings. In the last five-and-a-half World Cups they have won five and lost 17 matches against Full Member nations. They have not won an ODI series for a year; when Ashley Giles was coach, Stuart Broad was captain and Michael Lumb made a century on debut. They have dropped several chances in recent games, including Aaron Finch before he had scored in Melbourne and Lahiru Thirimanne on 2 in Wellington. Both went on to make centuries. Sunday’s result was not an aberration.

Root, of course, was in an impossible position.

Joe Root was put up as the interview person for the day or so after the loss to Sri Lanka. Many are questioning why Moores wasn’t fronting up. I made many of those same accusations in Sri Lanka (how he came out when we won a game, then didn’t speak until we’d lost the series) and was told I was being unfair. OK. But come on. Root was emotional after the game. This can’t be right, can it?

The man who, at 24, had just become England’s youngest World Cup centurion deserved a better fate than being wheeled out to explain the team’s latest calamity. The ECB might as well have thrown out a piece of meat.

I concur, George.. now to the pay-off.

But their logic was simple. They no longer trust some of those in management to defuse situations – Paul Downton was originally pencilled in to take this press conference and every time Colin Graves speaks he undermines his executive team – and they hoped that, by producing one of the few men who has performed well in recent days, they might distract attention from the wretched performance of England’s most senior cricketers in the field.

Well I never. That’s just so out of character. A trait we were mentioning, what, a week into his tenure?

That’s “guesswork”.

It was a desperate ploy. The ECB knew full well that a report leading with Joe Root’s century would be like leading a report into the sinking of Titanic by noting that the band played beautifully.

It’s why we like you George. You tell us things we don’t know, and you do it as if you are our eyes and ears.

Unpleasant

Mar 2, 2015Mar 2, 2015LordCanisLupus52 Comments

And don't come back.... — You are either Inside, or you are guessing

It has been quite a day, hasn’t it? The line that the ECB spun last night, that the Graves position yesterday was not, in fact, an opening of the door, but merely a restatement of current positions is eroding before our eyes. Nick Hoult’s latest piece in the Telegraph seems to paint a very different picture, and even Selfey’s article gave the game away because he writes it as if there is a chance KP might come back before defending Downton et al. Other articles in The Guardian, here and here, intimate that the existing ECB line last night might be a little, er, premature. I don’t know – maybe someone really in the know can keep those of us outside really informed. Then we might not get so up in arms, eh?

There are clearly, it seems to us trying to figure out what the hell is happening through the prism of our journalistic corps, divisions in the ECB; differences of approaches and perhaps personalities and nuances to do with timing of posts being actually filled. Nature, and bloggers like me abhor vacuums. There’s something afoot, because we’ve seen it before. We remember how Cook was disposed of, the modus operandi of putting something out there, getting the reaction, and moving from there. We aren’t out of the World Cup, yet this looks like jostling for positions to me. The World Cup had better come right or there could be more of this on the way. In the absence of clarity, in the absence of the full context, we’ll try to fill in the blanks.

This blogger, as you know, has a job, watches cricket when it fits in with his life, and has many other things to do. I do not pretend to be a journalist, and I doubt you will ever find a claim to it on here, it’s not my job and I do this because, believe it or not, I enjoy it.

I’ve written on the sport I really enjoy and am thoroughly saddened by in the past year or so. I indulge in speculation based on comparing articles with what I hear, with what I’m told, with what I read, trying to cross reference where I can, but time is limited. I watch the sport, have a vast back catalogue of books, dvds, magazines and podcasts. I’m a cricket nut with not enough time. I also think I know a little, not a lot, about human nature. I am not friends with any cricketer. I hear gossip, much of it told to me by the way, by people who might know. If this is guesswork, then so bloody well be it. But it’s guesswork based on caring, based on looking and reading and trying to draw conclusions. You know, the sort of thing we all do.

Why the anger? Well, a journalist today, who we all know, and I’ve been pretty civil to on here and, from communicating on social media I quite like, posted this on my Twitter feed.

@DmitriOld Why use picture of that fine journalist, the late Doug Ibbotson, for your blog, much of which is quite unpleasant and guesswork?

— John Etheridge (@JohnSunCricket) March 2, 2015

My giddy aunt.

Here’s why I put a picture of Doug Ibbotson on my blog feed, (and it only really seems to appear on my dashboard, which you don’t see, and on blog posts copied onto Twitter) John. Because the edition of Wisden Cricket Monthly in around 1988 it comes from had it, and the thought that a journo today could have a photo like that as his identity pic, complete with pipe, amused me. Plus, as you say John, he was a damn fine journalist. As was David Foot. As was Neil Hallam. The brilliance of the county scene in those WCMs is a million miles away from what we get today in our cricket magazines. So maybe it’s a little nod to a previous era. And maybe, just maybe, a pic of an old journo with a pipe is pretty damn good. I’m not comparing myself to him, I’m not thinking I’m a journalist, and I’m certainly not meaning the use of the pic in any mean-spirited way. I do hope you are not implying that. And please don’t invoke the old “he’s more of a journalist…” stuff because I know he was. Because I’m not.

I’m sorry if you find this blog “quite unpleasant”. I plead guilty to this being guesswork in the main, because I’ve not pretended to be ITK. But you aren’t exactly playing by the rules on your side either.

I actually have a fair bit of time for John Etheridge. I’m surprised he picked on this as something to try to beat me with. Come on, sir.

Right, got that off my chest.

By way of a public service, I managed to capture some of the BTL comments from the Selvey article that got deleted. I have reproduced some of them here. If the author wishes me to take them down, then please let me know and I will be happy to do so. I stored a few others, but they haven’t been deleted yet.

Bag of smoke…

“That theme of course was Kevin Pietersen, the fruit-fly, the pest that will not go away.”

Don’t sit on the fence, Mike.

Honestly, it makes you wonder doesn’t it, about the supposed impartiality of so-called ‘journalists’? Since when was it acceptable to so nakedly express one’s opinions of a player like this? I suppose it beats the normal innuendo, but quite how Selvey thinks this sort of thing is acceptable is beyond me. It’s faintly amusing that he should be so hostile towards our best ever batsman (going on statistics…), whilst affording the current shitshower of an England team and its hierarchy every courtesy.

This bit too made me chuckle – could it be any more matey? Proof, if it were required, that Selvey is essentially a mouthpiece for Downton. What a puppet.

“Downton takes no offence, thinks it was merely something clumsily expressed and in no way malicious :but it is grist to the mill at a bad time.”

Bagsofsmoke again..

“…the fruit-fly, the pest that will not go away.”

Don’t sit on the fence, Mike…

Since when is it acceptable journalism for a correspondent to be so nakedly hostile to a player? I understand you don’t like the man, but afford him some respect, Mike, as England’s best ever batsman. You sound like Etheridge. Since when is this sort of journalism acceptable in the Guardian?

Ah, it all becomes clear. I forget that you’re essentially a puppet, a mouthpiece, for the execrable Paul Downton. Proof, were it required, that that is the case:

“Downton takes no offence, thinks it was merely something clumsily expressed and in no way malicious :but it is grist to the mill at a bad time.”

Gluck

How can His Lordship still be considered a journalist anymore? Is he angling for a job as ECB PR chief (and pray, how would we tell the difference?)

Sorry about the fonts going all over the place….

The Slogfather…

Well.. I’ve waited until now to become an ‘under’, as well as having been a long-term ‘outsider’… but having read this from ‘lordselfie’…
The reality is that the new (yet to be confirmed) ECB (or whatever the next name becomes) Chairman, has now rattled a few cages within the press…
Following on from this, it would/should appear, that the current Team management and overlords (DowntownShabby, MooresThePityful, ForGodsSake -er, HisGreasyGilesness and TheFlowerpotman) are being found out…
There is no team management, just jobsworth incompetence – but then we’ve known that for many a month…
Sadly, most of the mainstream press (with a few notable exceptions) have chose to ignore reality.
So us, being the (outside) meek, shall inherit this dearth…

Others were saved but remain, lots more I missed….

Get The Popcorn

Mar 1, 2015Mar 1, 2015LordCanisLupus21 Comments

But an ECB spokesman later sought to clarify the comment, adding: “Colin Graves is correct. Nothing has changed – only players who are playing consistent high-quality county cricket and who are seen as a positive influence will be selected for England.”

I say. Did I miss that second part in Graves’s first statement….

The force remains strong.

Ali Martin was the reporter on The Guardian.

There’s a million and one things to say about this, but let’s try to be brief as it is a Sunday night and I need to be up for work in the morning.

This is an interesting development. We sort of know how this works. Someone puts something out there, the reaction isn’t as expected and they reel it back it in. You saw that with the Peter Moores interview in Sri Lanka alluding to Cook’s fate, then the Muppet Director, Downton, reeled it back in, before the coup de grace was implemented later in the week.

Colin Graves is not in charge yet, but don’t be fooled. Paul Downton managed to start his job before he was officially in place. Graves is running the show, or at least he should be. The comments he made today were out of the side of his mouth, saying he’d back the selectors etc.but also trying to distance himself a little from the excommunication by saying if KP did “this and that” he may get a look-in.

KP adroitly jumped all over that, and within a few hours the ECB threw Graves under the bus and propped up the crumbling edifice. Make no mistake, they have undermined the new CEO. So if one was a conspiracy theorist, one could say there was a power play at play in the ECB. You can’t tell me that leak of the “think the unthinkable” document wasn’t done for some purpose. This is an organisation rotten to the core in its upper echelons, and it needs rooting out. Graves isn’t some white knight, but don’t tell me this isn’t the old guard keeping the new upstart in check.

“Positive Influence.” How about Downton and Clarke for two abide by that? The ECB brand is seen as toxic. Toxicity is not positive influence. These two have presided over a disastrous year where they have been dismissive of the public, ignorant of the facts, and contemptuous of feedback. They exude the arrogance of the infallible, when they have feet made of clay. Their appointment of Moores and backing of Cook was evidence of their brilliance in their own minds. Cook was sacrificed as ODI captain a few days after his MD backed him. Moores is living on borrowed time, with Cook probably really cheesed off over the ODI nonsense.

Graves is going to regret not ditching Clarke, and you can mark my words on that one. He might need to look at Downton, but goodness knows what he has to do to get the chop.

An organisation that amazes, continues to do so. It’s bonkers. We “outside cricket” sit here and just think “we’ve not been proved wrong yet by these clowns.”

Ladies and Gentlemen… Mr Mike Walters

Mar 1, 2015Mar 1, 2015LordCanisLupus27 Comments

Downton has been pottering around in New Zealand scolding accomplished ex-England captains with “agendas” to lay off Moores and get behind the boys, which only goes to prove he hasn’t got a clue.

Win a few cricket matches, and the hounds will be kept on a leash. But don’t expect the travelling media corps to stage a line dance in grass skirts and pom-poms as cheerleaders for garbage, mate.

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