India v England – 5th Test, Day 2

This report is brought to you by Meantime Pilsner courtesy of the Market Porter public house. They’ve not paid for me to say this, but they are the reason this is a half-hearted report based on the highlights and not one from someone who got up to watch the play. I preferred the nice warm bed all morning and following the play via cricinfo’s app, rather than watch what may turn out to be a very tedious game. Or, it might not be.

Resuming on 4 down, England lost Stokes in the first over to a lazy prod. It’s been a bit of a case of diminishing returns from our talismanic all rounder, 128 in the first match, a very worthy 70 in the second and not a lot after that. The next dismissal wasn’t long in coming when SuperJos, Paul Newman’s new knight in shining armour got pinged in front, having come perilously close to doing so a few overs earlier. Jos has a ton of talent but this is his 18th test match now and he’s been playing as a pure batsman. While he is no doubt in better nick than Duckett (remember him) and the man on the best paid holiday (Ballance), there’s still a long way to go to justify Newman’s exuberance (or should that be effluence). He’s got to be buffed up, because he’s the man to combat Eoin Morgan and his unwanted ODI leadership.

With that dismissal, England looked on the brink, and Moeen followed not long after having been battered by Umesh Yadav, who when I’ve had chances to see the cricket has looked a serious performer. I have not seen Moeen’s ton, but one would suggest that some of the stick that appeared to come the way of someone making 146 is a little uncalled for (and I’ll be invoking Edgbaston 2006 very soon for those who remembet). Moeen has had trouble with the short ball for his entire test career. So, to a degree, did Steve Waugh. It need not be fatal for your career – Moeen has five test centuries, Michael Bevan has none – but it is clearly a weakness in his game. If he can make 146 runs before that weakness is exposed, then I’ll live with it.

There then followed a lovely surprise. A century partnership for the 8th wicket, where debutant Liam Dawson made a very accomplished half century, and Fragile Rashid followed suit. There was one late cut by Fragile that was absolutely filthy, a shot I absolute love, off Mishra that summed up how useful a weapon he might be if his bowling is seen as good enough to stay in the team. Dawson played very solidly, and followed some top players like Cook, Pietersen, Bell and Root in making a half century in their first test innings for England. (whole list here, excluding those who made centuries, the flash Harrys).

England climbed up to 477 and this looks like a half decent par score on a slow wicket, but a couple of attritional days to be in store. India are 60 for 0 in reply and didn’t look like losing wickets. The Verdict has been saying the cyclone and the new soil has deadened the wicket, and the evidence seems to be there for it. But it’s too easy to condemn the game to a bore draw just yet. There is always scoreboard pressure.

I’m sorry if this one is a bit “mailed in” today. Too much Christmas. Chris has promised to be on the decks, while I continue to mull over the next Dmitri, think about the new Glossary entries which we must put together, and do all the other things we have to do at this time of year.

Comments on Day 3 below.


63 thoughts on “India v England – 5th Test, Day 2

  1. thelegglance Dec 17, 2016 / 4:15 pm

    It’s not as mailed in as mine would have been as I contemplated three successive nights (and days. Oh God, days) of parties this morning.

    On the basis that I am not moving off the sofa the rest of this weekend, I’ll pull my weight for the rest of the Test and let Dmitri have his hangovers in peace.


    • LordCanisLupus Dec 17, 2016 / 4:24 pm

      I left out “tomorrow” from that part!

      If we get to two final days of this test, we’ll be mailing it all in. It wasn’t the most exciting day ever…


  2. Silk Dec 17, 2016 / 5:16 pm

    A very nice pub, The Market Porter. Southwark really is blessed with good pubs.

    England almost, but not quite, as well blessed with SLA bowlers who can “bat a bit”.


  3. LordCanisLupus Dec 17, 2016 / 6:26 pm

    “When Ball succumbed to Amit Mishra Dawson was left on the highest score by an English Test debutant coming in lower than No7 and Bayliss’s ability to pick a player on character had gone a long way to being proven.” Newman

    Newman is pumping up Bayliss at nearly every given opportunity. This is odd. Someone tell him Mark Ealham and Ed Smith made 50s in their first test innings too.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Silk Dec 17, 2016 / 6:37 pm

      Ian Salisbury? (I keep coming back to him).

      Presumably if he keeps it tight without ever looking like taking a wicket that will be further evidence if “character”?


    • nonoxcol Dec 17, 2016 / 7:42 pm

      Stokes above Butcher wound me up a bit.

      Guess 149 and 151 were missing due to split vote syndrome.

      Given the game situation and historical context, I am truly baffled at the omission of McCullum’s triple. Gets dumber and more inexcusable the more I think about it.

      Absolutely no argument on #1 – that really would be a fool’s errand.


      • jomesy Dec 17, 2016 / 8:31 pm

        I remember that post…it was a brilliant summary of the position but truly brought to life by the start and then his rship with his father. Resonated with me. I hope he’s still reading too.


      • jomesy Dec 17, 2016 / 8:44 pm

        Crikey – just re-read all of it…can’t believe it was in 2016….and where we are now.


        • LordCanisLupus Dec 17, 2016 / 9:20 pm

          I miss Maxie….

          “My theory about Downton is that he brought to the role the analytical protocol of a golf-club bar-bore whose stock-in-trade is quarter-baked prejudice based on third-hand opinions.”

          I remain in awe!

          Liked by 1 person

    • hatmallet Dec 17, 2016 / 8:31 pm

      Speaking of, have you seen the Top 100 Greatest Players countdown that Sky are doing? It may well have been commented on in another article.

      The list up to 4 is at the bottom of the article. 3 left – Bradman, Sobers and, I think, Grace.

      Obviously different peoples’ lists will differ massively because it’s objective and there have been so many good players to grace the game, but nice to see a list that picks players from across the full history of the Test game compared to so many other ‘best evers’ (and yes I know there’s a reason for this, i.e. easier to rate what we’ve seen for ourselves).


    • Silk Dec 18, 2016 / 4:08 pm

      Astle’s knock seems an odd inclusion. No pressure. The game was up. Without wishing to provoke anyone, surely Cook’s 235 in the first Ashes test in 2010 should be up there? It changed the entire direction of the series.


      • LordCanisLupus Dec 18, 2016 / 4:16 pm

        The next England innings off the stocks should be this one…


  4. alan Dec 17, 2016 / 10:22 pm

    I miss Maxie too. It was stumbling across his interview with Jonathan Agnew that first led me to TFT and then to HDWLIA. I always like reading James but it’s a bit like Wise without Morecambe. BOC by contrast has continued to develop with the added contributions of TLG and Sean. Not, I hasten to add, that I didn’t greatly enjoy you as a soloist Dmitri!. It was your obvious passion for the game that drew me in in the first place.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. fred Dec 18, 2016 / 2:13 am

    While in Sri Lanka, Richardson had said during a press conference: “The international game has gone through a period of turbulence, where the governance, the financial model, the playing [of the game] was in turmoil by the resolutions passed by the ICC in 2014 […] what happened in 2014 took place really because unfortunately countries like South Africa, Sri Lanka and New Zealand were not able to stand up to the big boys. I don’t think that will happen again.”

    I don’t understand this comment. Can someone explain what he’s talking about? I’m not being rhetorical or clever, I just don’t see how someone can seemingly wash his hands. Should I conclude that Richardson, the ICC Chief Executive, considers himself removed from the big three heist? Maybe I’m just naieve and the ICC really is simply there to implement the desires of ECB, CA and BCCI? I’ve always assumed they collaborated.

    Also, I see no evidence that it won’t happen again. In fact it’s very likely that the concentration of power into the most financially lucrative hands will continue, is continuing.

    The term “big boys” is troubling too. South Africa is not a big boy, despite being one of the strongest teams, and having just, yet again, knocked off Australia at home, this time with elan. So, “big boy” means having lots of money, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    • d'Arthez Dec 18, 2016 / 9:22 am

      If I could be bothered, I would go back to articles from 2014, where this court jester speaks, and argues the exact opposite of what he has done in 2016. But since it is Dave Richardson, a man who has no credibility left whatsoever, why bother?

      Liked by 1 person

  6. fred Dec 18, 2016 / 2:16 am

    can you please take that flaming Cook Kerfuffle devil image down? I like coming to this site, but god that flaming image is giving me nightmares. It’s just evil.


    • Deep Purple Fred Dec 18, 2016 / 9:52 am

      Oh, devil worship, that’s reassuring!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. SimonH Dec 18, 2016 / 4:37 am

    One end: wrong bowler, wrong end, okay field.

    Other end: right bowler, wrong end, wrong field.

    He opened with Dawson from the end where all the wickets have fallen to seamers. Rahul had a look at the first over and hit sixes off the next two. It’s the same error he made with Ansari in the Second Test so he doesn’t learn. Broad opening the bowling was fine – but he’s bowling from the end Jadeja took his wickets and he’s had a deep cover from the start.

    Another morning with Captain Fantastic. 24/0 off the first six – and he brings Ball on for Dawson.

    Good to see Pakistan putting up a fight at the Gabba


    • SimonH Dec 18, 2016 / 4:52 am

      First Indian century opening partnership for 32 innings and 18 months.

      Only bowlers not to bowl so far – Stokes and Rashid.

      Raining at the Gabba.


  8. Escort Dec 18, 2016 / 7:11 am

    Excellent advice from Vic Marks to the debutant Liam Dawson. Always set your own field and if you need any advice talk to Joe Root not the Captain!!!! 😂😂😂😂


  9. Rooto Dec 18, 2016 / 7:24 am

    To be fair to Cook, he’s giving Flower’s pick plenty of chances to bowl himself into a rhythm…


  10. SimonH Dec 18, 2016 / 9:04 am

    Slept through the middle session and have just listened to the teatime analysis.

    Hussain’s saying Cook and Rashid had a falling out and Cook wouldn’t bowl Rashid for over an hour as a result. Anyone see it? What happened?

    Hussain put the blame on Rashid, unsurprisingly. He “crumbles” when he has responsibility.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Escort Dec 18, 2016 / 9:14 am

      we have our scapegoat now that’s for sure if that’s correct.😬😬😬


    • Rpoultz Dec 18, 2016 / 9:28 am

      Interested to know more. Englands top wicket taker in the series and he is the one crumbling?? I have made points about Hussain before. Like most people I loved him in an england shirt and one of the best captains England have ever had. But he has lost any credibility as a voice about cricket by his continued adoration of anything about our dear leader chef. YES CHEF (sadly remember that). He’s views like many of the MSM can never be taken as a balanced opinion of the presenting facts.

      Cook also showing what a leader he is by not bowling his most consistent threat on tour. But seems happy to bowl flowers pet endlessly.

      Liked by 1 person

    • d'Arthez Dec 18, 2016 / 9:48 am

      Cook’s only innings of substance cost England a chance to get a win in the first Test. I make that 7 innings now when the Cookie has crumbled when having some responsibility. But then again, persistently playing around straight ones is the sign of genius.


      • d'Arthez Dec 18, 2016 / 9:54 am

        Another sign of non-fragility: Cook dropping yet another catch. Somehow it is only terrible when Rashid drops (difficult) chances, but if Cook drops sitters, that is perfectly justified.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Rpoultz Dec 18, 2016 / 10:05 am

        It’s tough for old cookie. Despite playing his 458th test he is still learning


  11. Escort Dec 18, 2016 / 9:10 am

    TMS saying that England are already 6 overs behind the required rate.😟😟


    • d'Arthez Dec 18, 2016 / 9:35 am

      England are not even trying to win after posting 477.

      The overrate is dreadful again (29 overs to get into 87 minutes, with the new ball due). Maybe with the extra 30 minutes they’ll just make it. Despite playing two frontline spinners, and having Moeen bowl a substantial number of overs as well.


      • Mark Dec 18, 2016 / 10:32 am

        It’s pretty obvious that whenever England are not taking wickets the over rate is slowed down. It’s a deliberate tactic. Has happened too many times for it to be just a coincidence. Perhaps they think the batting team will get frustrated and give there wickets away? It’s an extension of bowling dry. In this case……Just don’t bowl at all.


  12. SimonH Dec 18, 2016 / 9:50 am

    Most of FICJAM is hidden behind a paywall – but if the start is anything to go by, it’s typical “everything you think is wrong, let me correct you” garbage from him. And then his argument is utter garbage as well.

    Nice to see #39 piling into the “ordinary spinners” as well.


    • Mark Dec 18, 2016 / 10:00 am

      Do you know what FICJAM last line is Simon? Why is 39 at odds with it?


  13. "IronBalls" McGinty Dec 18, 2016 / 9:54 am

    Catch! Dropped!
    I doubt that particular drop by Cook will attract the kind of backlash Rashid’s did??


    • SimonH Dec 18, 2016 / 9:59 am

      It’s the burden of those ordinary spinners wot made him do it.



    • SimonH Dec 18, 2016 / 12:10 pm

      Apart from hblove and Zephirine, it’s like falling into a septic tank, that thread. Or “the web we want”.


      • northernlight71 Dec 18, 2016 / 3:08 pm

        Unpleasant though many of the comments are, there’s not much mileage or danger from all the sad little armchair soldiers who pile into such debates with their ungrammatical and childish posts about “abandonning you’re mates’s”’s” ” or “leading from the front” nonsense.
        The ECB is propped up by useful idiots, but these particular idiots are a bit too idiotic to be much use to anyone.


        • LordCanisLupus Dec 18, 2016 / 5:04 pm

          I was reviewing a load of stuff last night and remembered that one of the resident patriots, so concerned about nationality and anthem singing, came up with this effluent earlier this year:

          Right , as I expected you can’t name a more loathed pro than KP, far easier to avoid the question and just have a pop at me. The best you can do is cite Sangakarra who barely speaks English and does little more than publicly massage KPs ego with the proviso that he gets the same treatment back in return. I’ll leave you to your delusional anti Cook/KP fanboy world rather than embarrass you any further, I’m nice like that.

          I bow down to Mel’s wonderful debating skills and balanced viewpoints.

          Liked by 1 person

      • Zephirine Dec 18, 2016 / 8:37 pm

        I really shouldn’t bother – I think I’ve posted the Irish qualification reg five times on that thread and no one takes a blind bit of notice.


  14. nonoxcol Dec 18, 2016 / 10:08 am

    Off topic observation from the new Twitter feeds: two of Sean B’s five favourite films are the same as mine, in the same positions!

    By the way Sean: I saw it yesterday morning and Kevin Smith is right about Rogue One. He is actually right this time. At the end, I applauded like the cricket press for the Holy 95. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.


  15. Mark Dec 18, 2016 / 10:24 am

    The media are now reduced to making themselves look like complete idiots. You can’t on the one hand hype up Cook as the greatest England cricketer of all time with SAS like mental strength that can deal with every set back. Then, claim that he has a couple of duff spinners (One of which has been targeted by people inside the camp) & a wife who has just given birth. How many service men arround the world have babies back home? Don’t compare the England captain to other industries like the military to inflate his steelinness and then play the woe is me card poor little lamb he has so much on his plate.

    This will not wash. It smacks of excuse after excuse after excuse for his piss poor captaincy, which by the way has not Improved. Just because Anderson or Broad bail him out now and again with a 6 for, or a 7 for does not suddenly turn Cook into a great captain.

    Liked by 3 people

  16. Rooto Dec 18, 2016 / 10:31 am

    As Cook tosses the (fairly new) ball to Dawson before Ali or Rashid, Agnew seems at a loss to explain why. He’s obviously not a regular reader! 🙂


    • Miami Dad's Six Dec 18, 2016 / 11:14 am

      Rashid is our most likely wicket taker. He has bowled less than 14% of the overs so far.


  17. man in a barrel Dec 18, 2016 / 10:50 am

    Unable to watch but is there any reason why Dawson has bowled more overs than anyone else? Is he creating chances, getting turn…? He doesn’t seem to be restricting the scoring rate.


    • Tom Dec 18, 2016 / 11:09 am

      I can’t answer your main question as I don’t know the answer. He’s bowled well but with little threat. A little turn but nothing remarkable.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Miami Dad's Six Dec 18, 2016 / 10:52 am

    Stokes must be injured, right? Why else has he bowled less than half the overs of Dawson? If he is injured, then we can look back at the Test from the summer, when England were blasted in the MSM for leaving him and Anderson out, and actually consider that they made the correct decision then.

    England are doing their best to lose after posting 477.

    At least the Pakistan side are putting up a battle. I’m wondering if they’ll manage to get on top of Lyon over the course of the series, with the seamers Australia have I think it’s crucial not to let him potter along at 2rpo.


  19. Escort Dec 18, 2016 / 11:01 am

    9 overs behind at scheduled close of play. Can the Cook expect a fine for this?


    • Mark Dec 18, 2016 / 11:03 am

      Nope! He’s untouchable.


    • d'Arthez Dec 18, 2016 / 11:34 am

      6.5 hours needed to bowl 88 overs. They bowled 54 overs of spin today.


      • Escort Dec 18, 2016 / 12:32 pm

        Piss poor by any standards but it will be swept under the carpet by those who should hold Cook and England to account.

        Liked by 2 people

    • man in a barrel Dec 18, 2016 / 12:29 pm

      9 overs is about 45 minutes in Cook speak. Surely a fine and ban is the answer. How could England cope without their beloved Captain Cook and his advanced captaincy skills?


  20. Tom Dec 18, 2016 / 11:18 am

    You have to feel for Rahul. Rashid got him on 199 with a bizarre dismissal. A very wide half volley that somehow got chipped to point.


    • "IronBalls" McGinty Dec 18, 2016 / 11:41 am

      Rashid you say! Well I never!


    • d'Arthez Dec 18, 2016 / 11:46 am

      But we must not forget the meme that Rashid only gets the tailenders …

      Liked by 1 person

    • Mark Dec 18, 2016 / 11:47 am

      But that is what leg spinners can do. Even bad balls can get wickets for seamers too. Ask Sir Ian Botham. How many long hops got mullered to backward point or skyed up in the air.

      I’m not saying you deliberately bowl bad balls, but you make something happen. Cook has no concept of tempting the batsman to get his wicket. If no wickets are falling in a passage of play he just goes on the defensive, and try’s to bore the batsman out. Cook is a one trick pony. If Anderson and Broad aren’t bolwing sides out for under 250 he has no other plan.

      Cook is obsessed with keeping the runs down. That’s it. There is no other idea in his head. Ffs they have nothing to lose in this match. It makes no odds if it ends 4-0 or 3-0. Why not try and win this match and lose the series 3-1? It’s only in the idiotic brains of pundits like 39 who thinks a 3-0 loss is a great success instead of 4-0

      Liked by 1 person

      • Tom Dec 18, 2016 / 11:55 am

        It was brilliant captaincy to spot Rahul’s weakness on 199 to wide half-volleys and ask his top wicket taker to bowl there. Hat’s off to some great thinking.

        Now I’m off to vomit…

        Liked by 1 person

      • SimonH Dec 18, 2016 / 12:08 pm

        “they have nothing to lose in this match”.

        Not unless they’re going to try and argue that 3-0 was a magnificent, backs-to-the wall, Thermopylae-like (isn’t Chef kinda like Gerard Butler?), the captain still has the boys behind him, he’s still hungry for it, etc etc. And 4-0 isn’t.

        Fine centruy by Asad Shafiq in Brisbane by the way – but Riaz has just gone and Pakistan need 112 with 2 wickets left.


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