The Leg Glance will do a more complete review of the Ashes tomorrow, but in advance of his more considered thoughts, I thought I might get the ball rolling. It’s going to be less about the cricket than TLG’s, and more an overall context piece.

I had a piece written on Friday night where I put down my thoughts on the events of Thursday. I think the arrow that pierced the most was about self-pitying. I can take nonsense of muppets, although it does annoy me, but I do look into myself when it comes to criticism of the blog and of me. I’ve never been impervious to criticism, and also, believe it or not, I hate confrontation. The big fear is that an England win, however it was achieved was going to bring out the worst in all of us. Those who have been pretty much down on the team, and more importantly the management and administration, have been hit hard by the “we showed you” merchants online, and it’s not been easy. Those who have defended the England team and some of its key personnel, have not wasted any time in sticking the knife in, just as we may well appear to do after every defeat.

It has not been a pleasant fortnight. I’ll say that. Even in the good times there’s not one time a week that I say to myself “why do I do this?” This isn’t self-pitying, it’s questioning my sanity! There’s no financial gain, I’m not into the attention-seeking lark (I’ve turned down enough requests for attention) despite what the amateur psychologists diagnose, and I get to see less and less of the cricket. I think it’s still down to loving the game, and the comments from the people who read our stuff nearly every day. It does keep you going.

The Ashes were always going to be fraught. This was the big one for the pro-England and the anti-ECB sides. In many ways both sides of the schism have come out with something. The pro-England side have a 3-2 win which very few saw coming. We didn’t take much account of how much conditions would neuter the supposed advantages the Australian bowling attack, in particular. There was also the key Australia first innings at Edgbaston and Trent Bridge, which determined the winner of the series, and saw the always rickety looking Aussie batting line-up in dire straits. Importantly, when England had Australia down, they held them down. There were no real key lower innings batting recoveries by Australia, the key to 2013/4, and to that lots of credit has to go to the bowling line-up. Stuart Broad, who didn’t bat too badly either, must be wondering what he has to do to win Man of the Series.

But those anti-ECB, and not anti-England in most cases, just to clear that little piece up, will feel there’s a little bit of hollowness to this. We’re sort of getting into a nuclear arms race when it comes to wickets, and while this still remains an inexact science, there’s no doubt that conditions were massively in England’s favour. Now is this wrong? It has been debated here at length, and I’m torn. I still have a hard time getting over Sydney 1998/9, when Australia played three spinners on a shithouse of a wicket when the series was 2-1 (the Ashes had gone but that team fought back hard), so excuse me if I’m playing the world’s smallest violin, but while we are in this “we’ll do it because they do it” mentality, I’m not sure we’ll get anywhere. Given the quality of the cricket on show, there are alarm bells ringing for the test game, over and above those raised in Death of a Gentleman.

There’s no easy solution. Australia are going to do their damndest to unsettle England at every step out there in 2 and a half years time, and that’s what touring Australia is all about. If it’s like the last time, we won’t see anything above club bowler standard until we get to Brisbane. We’ll be put out in that furnace under-cooked. The importance is to make a 2010/11 stand, not a 2013/4 surrender. Pitches do vary in Oz, but we don’t get much opportunity to play on them. It’s always a little stacked the other way because a number of this Australia team have played county cricket before.

I’ll let TLG go through the winners and losers in terms of the players, but as an overall summary of the series, I would say it was desperately disappointing. Watch the Usain Bolt / Justin Gatlin 100m today. One was a star, struggling with his form and style, up against a man running the times of his life. It was pure sporting theatre. It was a gladatorial contest. It had meaning – these two guys rarely run against each other – and a sub-plot of good vs evil. It was also held in a top class Olympic venue, on a belting fast track, and for all the world to see. In a four year cycle there will be three races that matter – two World Championships, and an Olympic Final. Paucity is strength. Sometimes, to keep something special, you need to air it sparingly.

The saturation of the Ashes has diminished the quality. You can’t deny it. Whether this is cause and effect, or just the nature of the relative cycles of the two teams, who knows. In these days of result pitches, furious scoring paces, and effective drainage, there are many fewer draws. So the wheels can fall off the cart, and quality will diminish. So while the first two tests of this summer, on good wickets were absolutely fantastic, as soon as the stakes went up, and winning was all that mattered, the quality got shot to pieces. Four absolute routs, and one “sliding doors” test, where if Haddin had caught Root, then who knows. England did what aspiring good teams need to do, and what Australia did. Bloody hammer them when they cock up.

I said after Trent Bridge that my reaction was supreme indifference. I am not comforted by the performance in this test, because it indicates that we can’t have a bad day and still pull our arses out of the fire. I don’t buy the “we’ve won what we had to argument” because Australia, in the past ten years have not packed it in after the 3rd test, but nailed us. The great West Indies teams did the same. Our opponents in the next couple of series wouldn’t hesitate either. Aspiring great teams should not deal in excuses. This team tells us it wants to be great. It needs to get that attitude.

There is more optimism then there was prior to this season. I’m still annoyed at the deification of Cook. It’s cobblers. I do feel that if Root is the number 1 batsman in the world (and the same for Smith) then we live in troubled batting times – and again, this isn’t a pop at Joe. I’m concerned how Buttler really didn’t step up as I’d hoped. We have holes at opener, and I’ll bet all those at the start of the season said that “there were no vacancies in the middle order” wouldn’t mind having that nonsense back, as there were huge alarms over a couple of players. Where does Bell go from here after a difficult summer? But there’s been Root, there’s been Mark Wood, the reintegration of Finn, the form of Broad, the tantilising promise of Stokes and Moeen. It’s not a bad bunch.

It has been a difficult summer. Those who criticise us, who think we are nasty, vicious, purveyors of guesswork, snide and all the other words I’ve been called should really think. This takes a lot of putting together. We have a passion for the game, we care deeply, as we know you do too. Our anger may cross the line, but it is better to care than to walk away. On the day when a true master of the game, Kumar Sangakkara, left the field for the final time, we should remember that the game is in our hands. His innings, his performances and his legacy, like all others is to be handed down, told to those who want to know of our heroes.

When we do tell the youngsters who care about the sport, we’ll be recalling this series as a low-quality, tension-lacking affair, the third in two years, overkill diminishing the “brand” that is the watchword of our administrators, no memorable contests, games decided too quickly. Off the field it has seen fans at each others throats, again, and no sign of the end of the schism. It’s the way it is. People are people. In this modern communication world, we all have an outlet. The difference this year is that much more of the opprobrium is fan to fan. I aim my fire at the ECB, and fire only at those that misrepresent me. I aim my fire at the reporting, when I disagree, but which I’ve done a lot less of this summer. I am tempted to say if you don’t like what you read debate me, properly, or don’t read it at all. It’s your choice.

I’m not sad to see the Ashes packed away for 28 months. It’s time for some different challenges. I welcome the difference. This is a test upcoming. I’m looking forward to it. Because our greatest series has lost a ton of meaning to me. The totally logical consequence of money men over sporting men.

With that some house notes. The Ashes Panel will be up and running, and the first set have been asked their views. TLG will have a piece up early this week. We’ll be doing our usual for the ODI series, which is totally after the Lord Mayor’s Show (will they ever learn that lesson from 2005?), and when the international season is over, I’ll be doing the survey where we appoint the highly presitgious worst and best journalists of the last 12 months, as well as other matters.

Have a good evening.

Dmitri

OK. Let’s see how this works. Before I undertake the last round of Ashes Panels, let’s get immediate reactions to the conclusion of these Ashes. What have you taken from this Ashes series?

Quick, instant responses are the order of the day. Should be interesting.

We enter Day 4 and I’m taken back to another Day 4 at which I was present back in 2002. At that stage the score was 1-0, and after a decent 1st day’s play, when Vaughan scored 177, we thought we might have a contest. Sadly Australia ground us into the dirt on a sweltering Saturday and we lost key wickets in the late evening session.

However in Adelaide there was a weather forecast to give all England fans hope. Sunday was due to see a rain band move in and then the Monday forecast was for heavy rain all day. So if England could just make it to the rain, we’d be in with a shout of a draw.

I’ll do the rest when I do my Memories of Adelaide 2002…..

England find themselves requiring the weather forecast to be deadly accurate. There is a rain band, and as I look it is approaching the south coast, which will mean a stoppage in play. It doesn’t look a particularly wide band, so it may not cause the whole day to be lost.

This is where we are at. Hoping for rain. It happens. While I’m not taking the casual Oliver Holt approach to this defeat, the main task has been completed and it is understandable, given our sporting mentality (in my view) that there is a let down. We’ve never been great winners, resting on the laurels of a win for too long. This victory has been a surprise, and all this is proving to me is that they cannot slip even a miniscule amount before finding themselves in trouble. You just need to look at Bridgetown, and two recent Leeds tests to prove that.

Anyway, all comments on today’s play below. Once the Ashes are over, we’ll need to consider what we do. It’s been a busy, fractious, at times unpleasant, at times exhilirating, but rarely dull. There’s a busy winter coming up. Filling in time is going to be a challenge. Hope you stick with us.

Finally, best wishes to the TFT. I hope they get their hacking issue sorted a.s.a.p. It’s something I live in fear of with the blog, and wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Good luck in sorting it chaps.

A lovely day, weather set fair, and I’m dragged out food shopping for the morning session. Oh well.

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So I came back home just after Ian Bell was out. Cook seemed immovable, Root was in with him. This was probably our last chance for that major partnership that you need to get out of a massive hole like this. In reality, when you have a hopeless situation you usually need the openers to do so. Or at least one and three. I’m thinking something like this. Or perhaps this. But these two rearguards, fuelled by obstinacy and great talent started at the fag end of Day 3, not an hour or so into it. This then takes you into Kolkata territory, and that’s a once in a lifetime event. We think.

The psychology of simplicity is upon closer examination almost philisophical in its liberalism. And keeping it simple, adhering to the sound founding narratives of test match batting, was the requisite skill set. The workman’s indentikit is ensconced in the fibre of Alastair Cook’s foundations. His venerable, multiplicity of leave, block, leave, block variations were just what the university qualified medical practioner anticipated. He alone stood there, a veritable Rock of Gibraltar, as the ships masquerading as fellow travellers departed one by one. An Emperor, ruling without strong enough yeoman. It was a most ineloquent, morale sapping visage.

The sanctimoniousness of independence is very nearly socialistic in its obfuscation. Yes. That’s me innit.

OK, back to the cricket. I saw Joe Root’s dismissal, and there’s just this little double standard that wrenches at me. When the situation merits it, I’ll mention it. This was the “if KP did that moment” for me. The social media wires would have been alive. The torrent of abuse would have been writ large. Press and TV commentators would be all over it. This was not the first time Joe has done that. Not even this year – remember Lord’s. I’ve not done the stats, and I’m afraid of Tickers’ #rootmaths, but I can’t remember many great hands when the game is there to be saved.

Before people take this out of context, I’m not having a pop at our great young player. I’m having a pop at the double standards. Is it OK for a player to do that and because he shows visually with cursing and flailing of bats his disappointment it is more meritorious than someone who walks off as if it is a normal dismissal? I don’t know. Joe’s a team man, that’s clear. I think that repeats of this dismissal are a little concerning. However, this bad test and suddenly Stuart Broad, who’s also been not so good, seems to have moved into the lead in the Player of the Series ballots if the cognoscenti in the Sky Box (ECB-TV Pravda for the Masses (well, masses of subscribers)) are anything to go by.

Bairstow stuck with Cook for a while, but he doesn’t suggest permanence to me. So while Vaughan is picking him for the UAE tour, Etheridge is adamant on Twitter that he won’t be in the team. I hope that isn’t guesswork, John. Bairstow’s return has been neither here nor there. A useful half century at Trent Bridge suggested he’d sorted himself out a little, but it may be that tests are not for him. Maybe. I hope I’m wrong, but you think he’s going to cope (albeit he was a trifle unfortunate today) with spinning tops in the UAE? I’m not confident.

Stokes, well…. that happens. He’s delivered his fourth bowler wickets in this and previous tests, and he’s played some decent knocks, but we know he can do more. Not been his finest test with the bat.

Which takes me back to Adam Lyth. The conservatism of injustice is really quite prosaic in its trendiness. The dismissals of Lyth have been greeted with the all-knowing Twitter verdict. Off with his head. The consistent part is temperament. That is being questioned. I don’t think anyone believes that Lyth is going to play for England again. He’s had an awful Ashes, played on some funny old wickets, and when on a good surface, facing a big Aussie first innings. I do ask people to remember that hundred at Headingley which was a really, really good knock. He’s not a bad player. But we’ll do more of this in the Ashes round-up after the series is finished, where we’ll also talk about Ian Bell.

England are six down, and we still sent in a night-watchman to protect Moeen Ali. Jos stuck at it tonight but looked horrendously out of nick. The drums are going to start beating for him to score more runs. He needs a successful ODI series, perhaps to get his mojo back.

As an academic once said “the isomorphism of omniscience is in reality quite independent in its hubris” and if you caught Graeme Swann on TMS I know you’d concur. This England team is still a work in progress. It’s like a shed with no roof – you might have the foundations in place, but when tomorrow afternoon’s weather hits, you’d better have a good tarpaulin. At the moment, our batting line-up is that piece of rag you’ve had for years. Full of holes, and liable to leak a lot.

Have a good evening. I’m currently preparing Dried Oatmeal and Cheese Soup with Baked Mystery Meat and Lime Juice. Sounds delicious.

EDIT – Bairstow at Trent Bridge, not Edgbaston, of course.

UPDATE – Oliver Holt – subject of a wonderful description by Mark a while back “people like him (Martin Samuel) and Oliver Holt thought if they didn’t shave on TV, and wore a leather jacket it made them like Keith Richards.” – says don’t you worry your little heads about The Oval.

OK, so England collapsed against Australia at The Kia Oval on Friday afternoon. And, sure, the fifth Test didn’t turn into quite the victory parade we were hoping for. But let’s not be too dismayed. It’s a dead rubber. We’ve already won back the Ashes. The tension has gone out of the series. Worry about it if you want, but the result of the final instalment of a compelling summer of cricket is close to irrelevant.

So, Olly. This is almost an exact replica of the Lord’s test. Explain. Also, how come Aussie put the hammer down when we are down, and we think we can put our feet up when we win? Wasn’t 5-0 the ultimate humiliation for the nation? OK, Olly….

Still, earlier in the article, which is principally about athletics, Olly rails against the “smug commentariat” who sneer against each drug revelation and “giving the impression that their state of denial knows no bounds”.

He’s obviously not been hanging with many of the cricket journos.

Hey, if I’m going to be accused of being obsessed, let me do my thing.

This has been a ridiculous series, hasn’t it? I’m not going to bother describing the nonsense of Day 2. We’re looking down the barrel, look pretty clueless, and this has loss written all over it. Is there any bad weather around?

Feel free to comment on the day’s play below.

I had a post drafted about the events of last night. But I’m holding back on it. But I will include this now:

You as commenters have a responsibility to conduct yourselves in a way you can defend yourselves. This isn’t generally a problem. Any comment on this blog is not endorsed or approved by the writers unless we specifically comment on this. This is evident common sense, but it needs restating. We don’t operate a pre-moderating policy. I am trying to for certain things, but it is not easy, so until it is perfected, it won’t be. But I do not edit. I do not censor. I don’t like political posts – calm down Boz – and will warn. But that’s all.

Have a good night. Time for….

Welcome to Day 1 of probably 3 or 4 of the 5th Ashes test for 2015. I will be up in the North West of England today on business, so won’t, as usual, get to see much of the game, although I’ll give SkyGo an effort on the train back from Preston.

I could say a huge amount about what has gone on in the interim period between the Trent Bridge test and this one, but that’s for another time. I’ve not let it just pass by. I’ve taken a few insults from people who are no friends of what this blog is trying to achieve, or even bothered to understand where I come from and what I do. It’s been a very disheartening couple of weeks. But unlike our wonderful captain, there’s no “I almost quit” talk. That’s not how I operate.

So to Day 1. TLG has had his say in the preview. I’m not about to add too much to that, except I fear for Mark Wood if he’s playing on a duff ankle, that needs surgery and that he’s having cortisone shots for. If that’s true, will we never learn?

This will be the repository for comments, so fire away BTL and I’m not sure if there will be a review or not, because TLG is away, and I’m on the road, and then when I return to London, at a do.

If any of you are in the vicinity of the Oval, do support the #ChangeCricket demo. TLG’s piece says it all, and Sam and Jarrod deserve backing up for all the work they’ve done. Also, I am around The Oval on Friday evening, if anyone of our readers are, and I’d love to bump into some as I did with KeyserChris at Lord’s back in July. I’ve also got a couple of days at county games planned, including one at Surrey and one at Middlesex.

I’ll see you all later – comments away…