2015 Ashes – 5th Test Day 3

10 years ago - 5th Test - Day 3. You know who, of course....
10 years ago – 5th Test – Day 3. You know who, of course….

Hey, if I’m going to be accused of being obsessed, let me do my thing.

This has been a ridiculous series, hasn’t it? I’m not going to bother describing the nonsense of Day 2. We’re looking down the barrel, look pretty clueless, and this has loss written all over it. Is there any bad weather around?

Feel free to comment on the day’s play below.

I had a post drafted about the events of last night. But I’m holding back on it. But I will include this now:

You as commenters have a responsibility to conduct yourselves in a way you can defend yourselves. This isn’t generally a problem. Any comment on this blog is not endorsed or approved by the writers unless we specifically comment on this. This is evident common sense, but it needs restating. We don’t operate a pre-moderating policy. I am trying to for certain things, but it is not easy, so until it is perfected, it won’t be. But I do not edit. I do not censor. I don’t like political posts – calm down Boz – and will warn. But that’s all.

Have a good night. Time for….

No alcohol tonight.
No alcohol tonight.
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112 thoughts on “2015 Ashes – 5th Test Day 3

  1. BoerInAustria Aug 22, 2015 / 7:38 am

    I am not very good with statsguru, but I think this is correct:

    Ashes – Batting (Runs / Highest / Ave))
    01. Smith: 508 / 215 / 56,44
    02. Rogers: 480 / 173 / 60
    03. Root 449 / 134 / 64.14
    04. Warner: 418 / 85 / 46.44
    05. Cook: 245 / 96 / 30.62
    06. Ali: 236 / 77 / 39.33
    07. Bell: 202 / 65* 28.85
    08. Stokes: 201 / 87 / 28.71
    09. Voges: 201/ 76 / 28.71
    10. Starc: 157 / 58 / 22.42

    Ashes – Bowling (Wickets / Runs / Ave / Overs)
    01. Broad: 21 / 439 / 20.90 (143.3)
    02. Starc: 18 / 505 / 28.05 (124.2)
    03. Hazlewood: 16 / 412 / 25.75 (112.0)
    04. Lyon: 14 / 391 / 28.84 (108.1)
    05. Ali: 12 / 546 / 45.50 (123.4)
    06. Finn: 12 / 270 / 22.50 (78.1)
    07. Johnson: 12 / 459 / 38.25 (123.3)
    08. Stokes: 11 / 368 / 33.45 (105.0)
    09. Anderson: 10 / 275 / 27.50 (87.0)
    10. Wood: 10 / 391 / 39.10 (118.4)

    Backs up a lot that has been said by other posters on these pages….

    Like

  2. SimonH Aug 22, 2015 / 8:07 am

    Weather forecast clear today but increasing chance of heavy showers from tomorrow afternoon onwards.

    Like

  3. Rohan Aug 22, 2015 / 8:19 am

    Usual service resumed. MSM calling England pathetic, saying the batting was dopey and that the performance was not a surprise. Yet after Trent Bridge, they were saying how great England are and how they could be world beaters, watch out South Africa and all the rest.

    How fickle they are. The MSM can’t make its mind up, one minute England are amazing, the next they are a shambles and it’s not a surprise! When will they learn to be more measured in their approach, most, although not all, vear dramatically from one extreme to the next in their writing.

    That’s what’s great about here and TFT, the writing is consistent, balanced and does not deal in unnecessary hyperbole.

    What does today hold? I have no idea, but yesterday was disappointing and this appears to be going the way of the previous tests in this series. Unfortunately the matches have been poor and far too one sided. Let’s hope for something better in the UAE, although I am not confident.

    Liked by 1 person

    • BoerInAustria Aug 22, 2015 / 8:35 am

      At least Dobell addressing some issues:

      “England may well still be paying for their inflexible – arrogant, even – treatment of Nick Compton. He was, after all, the first through what has become a revolving door of opening partners for Cook since the retirement of Andrew Strauss and he made a pretty decent fist of the job, too. Somehow, though, the face didn’t fit in a dressing room that was just a little cliquey and a minor misunderstanding about the extent of an injury was blown into a major incident. ”

      #dressingroomclique
      #injurymanagement

      Like

  4. Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 8:57 am

    No balls by innings, 2005:

    Lord’s: 11 (190); 5 (155); 8 (384); 3 (180).
    Edgbaston: 14 (407); 10 (308); 9 (182); 18 (279).
    Old Trafford: 15 (444); 15 (302); 14 (280-6 dec); 20 (371-9).
    Trent Bridge: 25 (477); 16 (218); 14 (387); 5 (129-7).
    The Oval: 7 (373); 9 (367); 5 (335); 0 (4-0).

    Spare me the excuses being made on behalf of umpires. According to my brother, who still has Sky, they were putting it down to umpires being in the wrong position. Anything but examine the consequences of over-reliance on TV. Spare me.

    Like

    • Mark Aug 22, 2015 / 9:07 am

      Mark Butche last night on the verdict said the umpires are just not bothering to call them. Knowing they have the safety net of the TV replays if a wicket falls.

      The general view was that for test matches it should be taken out of the umpires hands. After all it is a simple line call. So you could easily have a camera square on, linked up to a man with a bleeper or buzzer who just presses a button every time a no ball is bowled.

      This then became an issue of cost, and how some countries could not afford it. But then technology, like hot spot is not available in county cricket. Butch also pointed out that after free hits were brought into ODI cricket the number of no balls has gone down, because it could end in another 6 runs scored.

      Like

    • Zephirine Aug 22, 2015 / 9:15 am

      To be fair, Sky in commentary discussed no-balls at some length and Holding is having quite a crusade about it because he thinks not calling them is unfair on bowlers in the long term.

      Bumble, who of course has been an umpire, is the one saying it’s to do with where they stand – he also said in a five-day match the umpires don’t want to alienate the bowlers by insisting on standing elsewhere, which seems unacceptable to me – the umpire should be able to stand where he damn well likes.

      But they came to conclusion the third umpire should do a line call for every ball, preferably involving something technical that would go beep.

      Steve Finn said post-match that he’d moved his run-up back 60cm to try to avoid overstepping, but it hadn’t worked.

      The number of no-balls is only one of the peculiar things about this series.

      Like

      • Mark Aug 22, 2015 / 9:28 am

        On the verdict they got the rule book out and it clearly says the umpire can stand wherever he wants to enable him to see the no bowl.

        It is not up to the bowlers. They can request an umpire stand back but it is up to the umpire if wants to co operate.

        Like

  5. SimonH Aug 22, 2015 / 9:28 am

    Four wickets (including Angelo Mathews for a century) with the second new ball for India in Colombo. SL about a hundred behind with three first innings’ wickets left. Thunderstorms in the forecast. Kohli’s gone off with a thumb injury.

    All results possible. The original slow-burning Test match. Remember them?

    Like

    • Mark Aug 22, 2015 / 9:47 am

      Yes Simon, but one team is not part of the big 3 so they don’t count. Generating revenue is the only game in town. Ask Mr Harrison.

      In the last 18 months Sri Lanka, WI, New Zealand have provided more interesting cricket for England in Test matches.

      But I am just a nasty outside cricket person who is cowardly and vicious so my opinion is worthless.

      Liked by 1 person

      • SimonH Aug 22, 2015 / 11:02 am

        I find your anger inexplicable. 🙂

        Like

      • Lydia Thayer Aug 22, 2015 / 6:58 pm

        Just as long as you can defend your comment to the nasty people who tweet dmitri 😉

        Like

  6. lionel joseph Aug 22, 2015 / 10:53 am

    Given the forecasts, the draw is still hugely in contention here if England bat well in good conditions. By my reckoning they need to make it through to just after lunch tomorrow, so that’s three and a half sessions in very good batting conditions.

    For me, this 2nd innings is a big deal. It’s time to grind and save this test match, not counter attack playing “a positive brand of cricket”. This is a luxurious practise situation for saving a test without the pressure of it having any outcome on the series, and christ do we need some practise with the winter tours coming up.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. SimonH Aug 22, 2015 / 11:04 am

    By my dubious reckoning, Cook needs to score 25 to average over 30 for the first time in a home Ashes’ series.

    #tinytinyblotupdate

    Like

    • d'Arthez Aug 22, 2015 / 11:12 am

      Or 173 runs (and Warner getting a duck) to be the second best opener this series. Add another 62 runs (235 runs; Rogers getting a duck) to be the best opener this series.

      When is the last time that an England captain has been out-averaged by both visiting batsmen in a home series?

      Like

      • d'Arthez Aug 22, 2015 / 11:15 am

        Opening batsmen I meant to ask.

        Like

    • Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 11:28 am

      25 and 41 already discussed.

      96 to take his home Ashes average to 30.

      Eyes down for the Cook Ashes average bingo!

      Like

    • Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 1:14 pm

      He’s done it! National holiday, surely?

      41 next…..

      Like

      • d'Arthez Aug 22, 2015 / 2:19 pm

        He has done that as well. He even managed to get to his second half-century of the series. No England batsman has done that before, right? Since Cook is obviously the greatest. Root gone as I type this. 99/3.

        I did not realize but it seems Atherton has 6 50s in a single home Ashes (12 innings, 1993). Cook is so good, he only needed 3 full Ashes series to get there. Against worse opposition than Atherton ever faced in the Ashes.

        Liked by 1 person

      • SimonH Aug 22, 2015 / 3:21 pm

        Another one for the bingo card – I make it 138 and his average overtakes Atherton (assuming no not out). I might take up tiddlywinks if that happens.

        All the ATL and BTL boors who go on about Warner’s meaningless third innings’ runs when the match is already decided will no doubt be queuing up to make the same point about Cook here.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. BoerInAustria Aug 22, 2015 / 11:06 am

    Follow on!!! No ball!!!

    All happening at the Oval…

    Like

  9. Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 11:42 am

    TMS – MIKE AND BERNIE KLAXON!!!

    First time I’ve caught them together this Test.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. d'Arthez Aug 22, 2015 / 11:46 am

    Lyth gone for another scratchy 10. 19/1, and one presumes one opening slot vacant when the ECB XI go to the UAE. A series average of 12.77 is probably an England-career-ending one for Lyth. It probably would have been different if he had played in the West Indies.

    Like

  11. BoerInAustria Aug 22, 2015 / 11:47 am

    PM Siddle 13-5-32-2
    PM Siddle 4-4-0-1

    You do wonder…

    Like

    • Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 11:54 am

      Easy to say, but they should have done to Hazlewood what England did to Finn in 2010/11: dropped him at 1-1 in spite of his wickets. Bemusedfella at the Guardian has been on top of this all summer.

      Still the hopeless batting that killed them stone dead though.

      Like

  12. lionel joseph Aug 22, 2015 / 12:05 pm

    those suits are a fucking abomination. somewhere between a clown suit and butlin’s holiday rep.

    Like

    • Mark Aug 22, 2015 / 12:20 pm

      They have nicked the idea from The McGrath foundation for breast cancer and everyone wears pink. Which is quite sight, Aussie men wearing pink.

      The English charity prefer a more conservative colour. Not much of a problem for them all to wear blue. Although Gower looks like Harpo Marx crossed with the Beatles on St Pepper.

      Like

  13. Boz Aug 22, 2015 / 12:22 pm

    Boz here, thank you for the kind words OldChap, to highlight yet another dilemma facing the cricket fraternity here in good old colonial crapville:

    SkyTV are today giving plenty of time to something called CRICKET UNITED with the usual suspects decked out in blue schollboy uniforms (I ask you, FFS)

    Compare and contrast how SkyTV dealt with the protest under the banner CHANGE CRICKET only a couple of days ago….

    Rest assured following RobotHarrison’s comments that some counties are going to go out of business soon because the ECB are not going to ‘loan’ them anymore money. great hey? What exactly does the ECB do with its vast wealth then – bet on the horses??? And whose money is it anyway?????????????? Englisg Cricket is CORRUPT – follow the money – and has Giles Clarge eated that daft bloke from Yorkshire who’s supposed to be in charge????????????????

    Like

  14. Boz Aug 22, 2015 / 12:25 pm

    have you moderated me for my bad spelling/typingng? – alright, take out OldChap then!

    Like

    • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 12:28 pm

      Not sure why that got held up Boz. Does random things does wordpress. Probably loads of punctuation marks in a row.

      Like

  15. d'Arthez Aug 22, 2015 / 1:17 pm

    The greatest batsman ever (copyright English MSM) has finally managed to average 30 in a home Ashes.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. d'Arthez Aug 22, 2015 / 1:21 pm

    And Bell is gone for 13. After having survived two drops already. He ends the series with an average of 26.87. Not exactly great. And I am really not sure if Bell is the answer at #3 in the UAE (or Asia in general), since he had a rather torrid time out there in 2012.

    Like

  17. BoerInAustria Aug 22, 2015 / 2:13 pm

    Boycott just recalling the “absurd” batting of KP in Australia “not playing to the situation” and getting out, when Root hooks Johnson and out caught on the boundary….

    Liked by 1 person

    • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 2:15 pm

      My thought was “if another person we had in the team did that, there’d be murders.”

      I suppose the secret is to look pissed off and flail your bat, rather than look like you don’t care.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 2:22 pm

      Exactly what Cook did at Adelaide with a deficit of 570, you mean?

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 2:14 pm

    Lovejoy insight:

    “[When Mike Atherton batted at Johannesburg], Test cricket was played at such a sedate pace you only had to bat for one day to save the match.”

    Not worth £20.

    Like

    • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 2:17 pm

      It’s wonderful, isn’t it? Honestly, what knowledge! What insight!

      Listened to FICJAM on the way home from Costco, and he said “don’t use a $10 word when an easy one will do”. Ah, he’s poking fun at himself, isn’t he?

      Like

      • BoerInAustria Aug 22, 2015 / 2:22 pm

        Heard that – also the Essayist did not have access to Zepherine’s program at that moment to find the word for England Team’s current psycological mindset!

        Like

      • Zephirine Aug 22, 2015 / 2:43 pm

        Found it! This is the original one: http://writing-program.uchicago.edu/toys/randomsentence/write-sentence.htm (note also the ‘review’ at the side which is actually better).

        Also good is this one: http://phrasegenerator.com/academic.

        This only does one form of sentence but offers some Smithesque gems such as ‘The sanctimoniousness of realism is in reality quite political in its complexity’….

        Now you too can write an Ed Smith article, sorry, Essay…

        Liked by 2 people

        • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 2:46 pm

          You cad.

          The reification of consumption is strictly congruent with the legitimation of the specular economy.

          Love it. This is going to be fun.

          Liked by 1 person

        • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 3:00 pm

          Not sure whether I should ask you to marry me, or ban you outright for this! I’m married, so the ban looks more likely.

          I put one on Twitter under the hashtag #writeyourownficjam and a business bot immediately favourited it! Top work.

          Like

        • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 3:06 pm

          This one really sounds like him…

          The ecology of hypocrisy is upon closer examination almost orthodox in its mobility.

          Liked by 1 person

      • OscarDaBosca Aug 22, 2015 / 3:57 pm

        I love this

        The agnosticism of reinforcement is undeniably excessive in its deviousness.

        Clearly FICJAM referring to someone’s obsession with KP😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 4:00 pm

          Champs de Merde combines buoyant tangerine overtones and a overtly-sexual lemon flavor in their 2011 Chenin Blanc.

          Like

      • OscarDaBosca Aug 22, 2015 / 4:10 pm

        I drunk that last night, wondered what the smell reminded me of…

        Then I realised The tenacity of isomorphism is in fact quite doctrinal in its lugubriousness.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Zephirine Aug 22, 2015 / 4:31 pm

        Well, you ‘ve got to laugh. Takes your mind off the cricket.

        Like

      • Rohan Aug 22, 2015 / 7:32 pm

        Brilliant stuff, I really like this one!

        ‘The cleverness of smugness is in fact quite obtuse in its deviousness.’

        Very apt for those who have been banging the drum for how great England are, or even Giles Clarke or any ECB type…..

        Like

    • escort Aug 22, 2015 / 9:31 pm

      Pre- decimal for him i guess? Idiot!!!!!!!

      Like

  19. Mark Aug 22, 2015 / 2:33 pm

    Why is the BBC paying for the opinions of Swann?

    He may have been a great bowler, but his anyalsis of the game is about the level of a ten year old. It’s funny how listening to him as a comparison to Glenn McGrath there is no boasting about achievmemt from Mcgrath. Unlike Swann, who bangs on and on about Englands great performances and home dominance.

    It’s nausiating to listen to. Particulary his joke about “well done to the 300 people who claimed they placed the ball for MCGrath to trip over in 2005. ”

    You will be pleased to know that he puts the one sided narure of this series down to great cricket, and not poor cricket. The players have not been able to deal with great cricket performances from the other side. I kid you not, this passes for serious opinion. England lost at Lords not because of bad batting, but a world class performance from Johnson according to Swann. Never mind England have not batted well in 5 tests in Australia on flat pitches and two here.

    But not to worry because yesterday was all down to the Ashes having already been won. As for Root he was just very unlucky he did not top edge it for six. Completely forgetting the number of England players who have given their wicket away trying to hook Johnson over the last 2 years. It’s TMS by Pinky & Perky.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 2:36 pm

      He even squeezed in “that will start a mass debate” earlier, resurrecting a gag I last heard in Harry Enfield’s ‘Norbert Smith: A Life’ in 1989.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Mark Aug 22, 2015 / 2:49 pm

        It’s a good job I don’t own a gun. I would have just blown my radio to pieces. It is utter ,utter tripe.

        How the hell did this guy manage to work out how to bowl? He must have been a pain in the arse in the dressing room. He’s like that character out of the fast show. The young Manchester hoodie.

        “Aren’t England Brilliant?, they’re so great even when they get thrashed….they’re just Brilliant!!! Isn’t Alastair Cook Brilliant? Even when he fails right, he’s always Brilliant!! Nobody’s as good as England. I love cricket, it’s just Brilliant, Cooks brilliant, Jimmys Brilliant, and I am just brilliant!!!”

        FFS

        Liked by 2 people

      • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 3:24 pm

        Any of you been following the RafNicholson and Mike Selvey thread on Twitter….

        A sample…

        and this…

        Charming.

        Like

      • Mark Aug 22, 2015 / 3:35 pm

        What is he talking about? Does he just expect them to hit it up in the air?

        You could argue that Selveys is in the entertainment business.

        Then again, Keith Harris and Orville provide more entertainment

        Like

      • d'Arthez Aug 22, 2015 / 3:38 pm

        I have not been following it, but apparently Selfey decides he wants to run for misogynist of the year.

        Like

      • Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 3:46 pm

        Not really sure what it will take for his BTL fans to admit the rest of us might have a point.

        Like

      • paulewart Aug 22, 2015 / 7:36 pm

        I think we could cast the whole TMS crowd and various players as Fast Show characters. Ed Smith as Patrick Nice, Geoffrey as Unlucky Alf, Swann as Colin Hunt, Scyld Berry as Ralph to Alastair Cook’s Ted, David Gower as the 13th Duke of Wybourne, Cook as Competitive Dad…

        .http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/fastshow/characters/

        Like

      • Rohan Aug 22, 2015 / 7:38 pm

        I would wager that Swann was in fact more difficult in the dressing room and harder to manage than KP. Certainly he would, I imagine, be happy to voice his opinion, even if it opposes that of the captain/management.

        I think it was an unlucky coincidence for KP that for a good part of his Engkand career, Swann had his clique and this was viewed as the ‘cool gang’ and perhaps masked his ‘pain in the arse nature?’

        Of course this is all guesswork and I may be completely wrong.

        Liked by 1 person

        • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 7:39 pm

          This is classified as guesswork, and therefore is an invalid comment.

          Guesswork is verboten.

          Like

    • Boz Aug 22, 2015 / 3:47 pm

      The foresight of blindness is rather conservative in its integrity.

      Like

      • OscarDaBosca Aug 22, 2015 / 4:19 pm

        The biliousness of inadequacy is tempered by the empathetic realisation of hegemony of unreason

        Liked by 1 person

      • escort Aug 22, 2015 / 9:37 pm

        Wisdom, whit. Bollocks and shit.

        Liked by 1 person

      • thebogfather Aug 23, 2015 / 6:11 am

        …Waits for my share of LCL’s fiver, even if covered in MSM lickspittle and saliva… 🙂

        Like

    • escort Aug 22, 2015 / 10:25 pm

      The BBC doing what it does best. Dumbing down!!!

      Like

  20. metatone Aug 22, 2015 / 3:11 pm

    Maybe Cook will finally show up and help England save this game – assuming the forecast comes true and we lose enough play to rain.

    That will allow the press to avoid thinking about the reality of how badly England do on this kind of pitch – and how badly they all misread the pitch when they quickly swallowed the idea of not picking a second spinner…

    Like

    • Boz Aug 22, 2015 / 3:48 pm

      The authentication of history as such invests itself in the poetics of the public sphere.

      Liked by 2 people

      • OscarDaBosca Aug 22, 2015 / 4:20 pm

        Brilliant

        Like

  21. d'Arthez Aug 22, 2015 / 3:41 pm

    Bairstow gone for 26 of the bowling of Lyon. End the series with an average of 29.50.

    England still need 192 more runs to make Australia bat again. Just 6 wickets left. Stokes is in now.

    Like

    • d'Arthez Aug 22, 2015 / 3:45 pm

      Barely had I posted it or Stokes gets out in the same over. 140/5 now, and still 192 runs adrift of making Australia bat again.

      #CompetitiveCricket
      #Meritocracy
      #DeservesFiveTests
      #EpicSeries
      #SouthAfrica&NewZealandIrrelevant

      Like

      • Boz Aug 22, 2015 / 3:49 pm

        The smart investor this season will always insure lower-classed long positions.

        Like

      • Boz Aug 22, 2015 / 3:52 pm

        sky down as an weather storm of tumultuous proportions invades the undulating countryside in which I abode – otherwise known as the reification of praxis is virtually coextensive with the engendering of linguistic transparency.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Boz Aug 22, 2015 / 4:05 pm

        Okay, sorry, got carried away and went on lap of honour following freedom from moderation

        Here’s a question for you – if you added Simon Hughes and Ed Smith together would you get Jeff Stelling?

        Liked by 1 person

      • BoerInAustria Aug 22, 2015 / 4:07 pm

        Please Zeph, I need a “reverse” program to understand BOZ at the moment…

        Like

        • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 6:06 pm

          TLG and I have been thinking of a corporate slogan. We got in touch with a Mr Edward Smith, who suggested this to us…

          We will constantly strive to leverage digital knowledge bases for today’s knowledge-driven virtual companies.

          We made out excuses and left.

          Like

  22. Mark Aug 22, 2015 / 3:54 pm

    Did you hear Boycott welcome the essayist to his latest commentator stint with…..

    “Welcome wordsmith”

    What is that theory that if you have a million monkeys, and you give them a million typewriters they would eventually randomly write the complete works of Shakespere?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Boz Aug 22, 2015 / 3:56 pm

      Ed Smith
      Ex-England batsman on BBC Test Match Special
      “Stokes likes to feel the ball on bat and he was tempted into playing at that one. England are rocking when they looked in no trouble at all.”

      rocking?? they’ve been ‘in trouble’ all match – wish I was as clever ………

      Liked by 1 person

      • OscarDaBosca Aug 22, 2015 / 4:30 pm

        Following on occasional wifi in southern Italy I can tell England are in trouble. They would still be in trouble if they were 0 wickets down at this moment in time. The guy is a prize plum, ooh look at me I use long words (that I clearly don’t fully understand the meaning of) and I write essays not articles. Boycotts contempt for him on TMS shines through the radio waves, he hasn’t been this unforgiving of a fool since Arlo White was commentating

        Liked by 2 people

  23. Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 4:46 pm

    Oh, someone jinx him for crying out loud. Cannot bear the summer ending like this.

    Like

      • SimonH Aug 22, 2015 / 5:27 pm

        Or not.

        Except in worth a hundred terms.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 5:36 pm

        29.61 I think that gives him. Out of the relegation zone thanks to newcomer and spectacular outlier Lyth.

        Liked by 1 person

        • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 5:44 pm

          ECB TV off on one. They excuse this as a game too far. So why did Australia pummel us when we are down, when the excuse is we are bedraggled, humiliated unit. Weren’t the Aussies like that?

          Except Cook. He’s up for it.

          We’ve been outplayed.

          Like

      • Mark Aug 22, 2015 / 6:11 pm

        ECB TV narrative was always going to alternate between either

        4-1 and England are the greatest cricket team in all history, and Cook is on a par with Churchill.

        Or

        3-2 and it was a game too far. Totally understandable. Nothing to see hear, look over there men in blue suits.

        Like

    • Zephirine Aug 22, 2015 / 5:26 pm

      Atherton did it. He said Cook didn’t look tired.

      Like

  24. BoerInAustria Aug 22, 2015 / 5:21 pm

    Tuffers really has no idea about the Proms does he?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mark Aug 22, 2015 / 5:25 pm

      You wouldn’t want him as your phone a friend!

      Like

  25. BoerInAustria Aug 22, 2015 / 5:26 pm

    Funky captaincy…

    Like

  26. Rooto Aug 22, 2015 / 5:27 pm

    *sniggers and happily accepts the approbation of those inside cricket*

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Mark Aug 22, 2015 / 5:38 pm

    Just as well there are no vacancies in that England middle order……..

    Liked by 2 people

  28. lionel joseph Aug 22, 2015 / 5:42 pm

    I like Buttler. I like him a lot. His keeping has improved noticeably this summer, and he seems to be trying so hard to bring some real top level discipline to his batting.

    We all know that the result of this series has largely been determined by some ordinary selection from Australia, some terrible batting from both sides and a few outstanding spells, so as I much as I like seeing us win the Ashes and beat Australia, I would take far more pleasure from the hat-trick of Root’s batting, Finn’s reselection and success, and Buttler battling until just past lunch tomorrow to save this test.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zephirine Aug 22, 2015 / 6:05 pm

      Yes – Buttler battling through with Wood and then Moeen. And Broad. They could do it between them. Buttler might just possibly – no, I’m not even going to write it.

      Like

  29. Boz Aug 22, 2015 / 6:16 pm

    Dave Tickner @tickerscricket
    Imagine losing to a side that sends out a nightwatchman to protect a number-eight batsman in a dead rubber. Australia’s humiliation complete
    6:28 PM – 22 Aug 2015

    Liked by 1 person

    • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 6:20 pm

      Boz on Twitter…. eh?

      The illusion of pop culture, personified by social media apertures, infested by the inadequates, carries with it the historicization of power/knowledge.

      Liked by 2 people

  30. SimonH Aug 22, 2015 / 8:11 pm

    Had been looking forward to how Selvey would present this one when he’s used up deserved a century and worth a century. Sadly, he appears to have phoned in a piece of tedium about declarations around lunchtime and that’s our lot. Perhaps a draft piece about entitled “Shove it you malcontents – Cook’s got a hundred/carried his bat” had disappeared down the ‘delete’ plughole.

    Never fear though – Andy Bull is up to the task of filling in. The reconnection is complete and it’s all down to an ECB policy document last March. The admirable steve nails it almost immediately.

    Like

    • BoerInAustria Aug 22, 2015 / 8:30 pm

      … andthen Emma John:
      10 curious things we have learned from the Ashes…

      Like

      • SimonH Aug 22, 2015 / 9:33 pm

        1. Alastair Cook is the greatest strategic genius since Sun Tzu.
        2. ECB-TV can get worse than it was in 2014.
        3. Ed Smith is an insufferable tit.
        4. Tom Harrison talks like a corporate speak-your-weight machine.
        5. Paul Downton was a visionary genius.
        6. 45 is worth a 100. Especially when it’s 43.
        7. Alastair Cook phone calls before Test matches don’t have magical powers.
        8. Nothing about Adil Rashid.
        9. Colin Graves can fit in the Downton cupboard.
        10. England are a little less worse than Australia in English conditions.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 10:11 pm

      Can I join your anti-Bull brigade now please? How is THAT all you can write about Tom f***ing Harrison after listening to that interview? How can it be?

      Like

      • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 10:21 pm

        This was nice.

        It got worse. The season of 2014, when they beat India 3-1, will go down as one of the most fractious in living memory as a minority of fans expressed such extraordinary scorn for the team you wondered why they chose to follow them at all, since they seemed to take so little pleasure in it.

        I wonder who he means? I wonder how you think that a sport played behind a firewall, with steeplingly expensive tickets, and an arrogant authority has not seen the country reconnect as it was connected 10 years ago. But we don’t want to ask those questions.

        Tonight on Polite Enquiries, George says about Cook “no-one would call him a great batsman…..but a great accumulator”. Erm…… that’s not allowed, George, baby. That’s not going to help the reconnection.

        Liked by 1 person

      • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 10:23 pm

        Oh, and this…

        In March, an ECB strategy document was leaked to the press. One of the details was that the new management wanted the “England team to be relevant to the community with cricketers as folk heroes”. Sounds silly.

        Oooops. The ECB are anal about leaks, just ask your charming, approachable chief cricket writer. The ECB don’t leak…..

        Like

      • LordCanisLupus Aug 22, 2015 / 10:29 pm

        And this from Emma John….

        The pundits and the home fans seem tacitly to accept Adam Lyth’s failures as the price of a balanced middle-order.

        Again, George Dobell said our batting was in a mess. I mean, really. Bell is all over the shop, Bairstow looks like an ill-fitting stop gap, and we were so stable we were forced to move Root up one. Stable? Yeh, stable like my moods.

        Like

      • Arron Wright Aug 22, 2015 / 10:44 pm

        No writer at the Guardian “got it” in 2014, and I don’t think any of them ever will. That’s one thing. Airbrushing Harrison in a piece about reconnection though: that is unforgivable.

        I hope Lord Archer has enjoyed the game.

        Like

      • Boz Aug 22, 2015 / 11:50 pm

        Dobell is arrogantly showing his true colours and has been fr some time – maybe something to do with his ‘connection'(embedding) with the England team in WI – he’s never been the same.

        I’m sure Ed Smith can better announciate a relevant synopsis of Harrison, possibly in alliterative rhyme. for me he’s a turd.

        Like

  31. SimonH Aug 22, 2015 / 8:13 pm

    Easy to forget? Staunch?

    Like

  32. Rooto Aug 22, 2015 / 8:15 pm

    I didn’t even have to think, this one just came up when I clicked:
    The pride of blindness is dogmatic in its trendiness.

    New strapline for the G

    Like

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