The Bogfather missed the Ashes Panel, but he did provide me with his poetic input, so I thought, why not. Give him the floor….
So the Ashes Summer, in rhyme….
Where’d our summer go?
Where was the ebb and flow?
No context nor contests
Paucity in every city’s Test
No fight, no thought
Test cricket out-fought
By incredulous scheduling
And nebulous reasoning
If it swung, we won
If it didn’t, we were undone
Batting collapses, memory lapses
No guts in weak glory
Same old media story
Three day Tests played
With real fans betrayed
Thankfully, then it rained…
Dross on the pitch, not blood
Press puffery not in drips but floods
Strokeplay straight out of kintergarden
Nary a sign of batsmen battle hardened
Bar Root, Rogers and Smith
Far too much inelegant biff or miss
Tho’ I do have a soft spot for Mo
Briefly seen in scintillating flow
Saddened that Buttler never gave it a go
And Cook’s self love and batting ego
Left Lyth high and hopelessly run dry
The question now – who next to try?
Bell seems to have rung his last peal
KP back? We have to be real
Hales not to open, or even at three
Play him at 4/5 is what I’d like to see
Alternative opener is hard to call
We need a presence to strike thru’ the ball
Perhaps Root to three now that Cook ‘leads’ on
Save the captaincy for when sheep has gone…
At last some bowling that found the right length
Some excellent spells, Broad best, true intent
Yet when conditions weren’t as we’d like
The lack of variety left us unable to strike
And with the spin cupboard currently bare
We have to trust Mo’ with responsibility there
Push him up the order to five, use his batting flair
And ferchrissakes give Adil a run, in the UAE sun
Use Jimmy only when conditions suit the grumpy one
Look after Wood, let Stokes have free rein
Or injury management will be spotlit again
Not that the ECB will ever care a jot
Coffers still filling from us, the mob lot
So the Ashes, yes, we beat the feeble Aussies
Yet I still can’t separate the team from the ECB
For their ignorance and bullshit still riles me
And don’t even get me started on the ICC3…
To paraphprase Craig Doyle in those Everest adverts…. now you didn’t think a blog would give you that, did you?
My thanks to the Bogfather. We’re being different here. He’s also promised me a book review of the Barry Richards story written by Andrew Murtagh.
Also Sean B has promised me something too. So no getting out of it, Sean!