You Bet That Someone’s Counting You – Guest Post by “Man in a Barrel”

LordCanisLupus37 Comments

We’ve had this for a while on Being Outside Cricket, as earlier in the summer MiaB produced some interesting data on moving averages to give another indicator on form and consistency. Here MiaB updates the data set and has a punt on some of the Aussie selections. Like most, even he didn’t see Paine being inflicted. My thanks, as always, and I hope to see more of this in the future. Take it away…..

This is an update on the “twenty innings moving average” (TIMA) method of analysing batting form that I introduced back at the start of the last UK domestic test match season.   LCL suggested that I should give an update just ahead of the next Ashes series to see what thoughts it prompts.  Just as a reminder, I take the last 20 innings and draw the average from them.  After the next innings, I subtract the innings at the start of the series and add on the latest score – so it is a running average of the 20 latest scores.

If we start with Cook, the conventional wisdom is that he had a good summer – 572 runs at an average of 44 – and certainly the usual suspects have been quick to applaud this return to form.  If however you apply a little of what some people disparagingly characterise as “Root maths”, you will recall that 243 of those runs came in a single innings.  So in his other 12 innings, he “only” scored 329 runs at 27, which suggests that there are some problems with the conventional wisdom.  If we turn to the moving average method, we find that at the end of the Chennai test his TIMA stood at 41.  This calculation includes his 2 previous centuries – the 130 at Rajkot and the 105 against Pakistan at Old Trafford.  After his first innings at Lords against South Africa, this last century drops out of the calculation and the moving average starts to drop until it reached a trough at 30.85 at Trent Bridge.  When he made his marathon 243 at Edgbaston, the Rajkot century was still in the running average, so up it goes to 47.  But in the final test of the summer it slips out of the calculation and he starts the Ashes series at 39.4.

His moving average since November 2015 (the Sharjah test against Pakistan) where it last got above 60 has been a little like a W, but on a slope so that each peak is a little lower than the one before and each trough a little deeper.  This certainly suggests a batsman in decline – that Sharjah test is 49 innings ago.

I didn’t get to see much of Cook before 2010 because of work commitments and I have only really watched him since about 2014 but I wonder how much his technique has changed over the years.  One thing that strikes me is his elaborate trigger movements.  During the bowler’s run up, he goes through an intricate series of fidgets, shuffles, and bodily contortions so that, when the bowler’s arm comes over, he is balanced and ready to play whatever shot is required.  Any slight error in the timing of this set of moves and he is likely to get caught in strange positions, as seemed to happen a lot over the last summer.  Of course, there are times when he gets it right consistently and gets runs but this is not happening quite as regularly anymore.  Was he always like this at the crease?  I imagine the selectors and coaches must be slightly concerned by this but obviously I am not calling for him to be dropped.  For one thing, he would have to be replaced and we still have not managed to replace Strauss.  However, it is fortunate, shall we say, that all the media focus is on the guy at the other end, whoever it turns out to be for the Ashes.

Root, on the other hand, has had an unequivocally good summer. His TIMA remains above 45 and, for 7 of the 13 innings I am looking at, it is above 50.  You cannot quibble with figures like those.

Bairstow is a cause for concern, however.  He came back from India with his moving average at 44 after a decent tour.  This summer, it has just dropped and dropped till it now stands at 36.  I believe he is a better batsman than this – and in fact before the South Africa tests his career average stood at 41.  It has now dropped to 39.8.

Stokes is another person who has had a good season – 527 runs at 43.9.  However his moving average is stuck around the mid-30s.  It has been less than 40 for 80% of his career.  I know that the media is full of despair at the idea of Stokes being absent from the Ashes but quite why people make him out to be England’s last hope is beyond me.  Yes, he is capable of the occasional remarkable innings but, just as an example, only 1 of his test hundreds has been higher than 150.  Although his last 10 innings have yielded 470, the 10 before that produced 245.  Of course, he is unlikely to face as much spin in Australia as he did in India – with the proviso that he might not get there – and the pitches should be less awkward.

If the figures suggest that Stokes is over-rated then Moeen is surely under-rated, which probably suits him.  He seems to thrive when the spotlight is not upon him.  He has had his usual up and down season but after Chennai  his TIMA was 43.83 – a figure which Stokes has only bettered 7 times (when he had both his 258 and the 128 at Rajkot in his numbers) – and it stayed above Stokes’s numbers for 6 of the 12 innings they played.

Turning to Australia, the problem is that, as so often, the likely team contains a number of people with little test experience.  Their last team included Renshaw (18 innings), Handscomb (19 innings) and Maxwell (14 innings).  It seems to me that Australian sides for the Ashes have almost always included a number of batsmen unknown to their opponents.  We are left with Smith – unless injury rules him out – who has astonishing figures.  In his last 14 innings his lowest TIMA is 57.89!

Warner, on the other hand, is going through a patch almost as rough as his initial period in test cricket.  Since his score of 163 at Brisbane against New Zealand in November 2015 fell out of his running average, his TIMA has dropped out of the 50s and hovered around 40.  Not as good as it used to but still very reasonable and better than most on the English team, apart from Root.

Wade is hovering around the mid 20s.  Khawaja whom I presume will be picked for the Ashes has got a good set of figures for his last set of 20 innings.  He was consistently averaging over 45 and sometimes getting over 55.  It strikes me that he has slipped under the radar on this side of the world.  I did not think there was much value in looking at Sean Marsh.

 

MiaB did add some charts, but I do need to find a better way of incorporating them in here. I’ll add them when I do it!

LCL

Got It Printed In The Paper, Everything You Do – The Annual Poll

LordCanisLupus33 Comments

OK. I’ve trailed this for a while, but here we are, before the Ashes, and we need to get this out of the way. Well, at least I do.

You have three options with this poll.

  1. Answer it in the comments below
  2. Answer in an e-mail to dmitriold@hotmail.co.uk
  3. Ignore it. Most of you do!

I will also repeat the request to be a member of the Ashes Panel. I have three or four volunteers so far! In 2015 we had 15! Declining interest I suppose 😦 – Let me know and I’ll get the questions to you this weekend.

OK. So the key questions to answer.

  1. The next appointee to Mount Cricketmore – a Mount Rushmore for those who have contributed the most to our anger and disappointment in the world of cricket in the recent past. The 2016 enshrinee into our particular Hall of Shame was, by almost unanimous demand, Giles Clarke. You are NOT allowed to vote for him again.
  2. Your cricket journalist of the year – as in the best journo since our last poll.
  3. Worst cricket journalist of the year – always competitive, the winner can be anyone who has reported on cricket in the past year. I have noted that some might vote for Matthew Syed, but I would probably need to disqualify him as he’s an all round idiot, rather than one who has reported on cricket.
  4. Worst cricket commentator of the year.
  5. Best cricket commentator of the year.
  6. England innings of the year.
  7. International innings of the year.
  8. This media person needs to be seen more……
  9. Most memorable moment.
  10. England cricketer of the year
  11. International cricketer of the year
  12. Finish off this statement. The main thing wrong with cricket on social media is……

 

And here are some general Ashes questions for you to answer.

  1. Who wins, and what will be the series score?
  2. How many centuries will England make?
  3. How many runs do you think (a) Cook and (b) Root will make?
  4. England’s top wicket-taker

All a bit of fun, so take as much or as little time as you want. The results will be published around Christmas, and some will be used to inform, though not necessarily compel me to include, in this year’s Dmitris.

Fire away!

You Don’t Know How To Ease My Pain

LordCanisLupus14 Comments

They let me out early from the negotiations today. So as an additional piece, and reflecting back to some of my work on HDWLIA back in the day, I have reprinted 20 of my memories from my visit to Australia back in 2002.

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It doesn’t seem a big deal now, but it really did then. No member of my family, close or otherwise, that I knew of had been to Australia. It just wasn’t the done thing, not in my family. But I was always the odd one out, and I had two influences pulling my way – my good mate Peter, Sir Peter as he sometimes appears on here; and a colleague at work called Sue, who had lived out in Australia for a year, came back, and never stopped singing its praises. I had a bit of spare cash, I was mad about cricket so I went for it.

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On the opening day of that series, I was in awe. I cannot possibly do adequate justice to my excitement at me, little old me, walking down Vulture Street to go to the Gabba. Now I’d just harrumph at it. The world, even then, wasn’t as small now. We only just started conversing over e-mail in those days, and the ability to send my excitement back to my friends was probably totally annoying, but in other ways, really quite mad. I remember waking up, going down to the cafe to have some breakfast and read the papers, then packing my things and walking from our apartment to the Gabba. That feeling of doing something quite brilliant, yet knowing you were about to see your team marmalised.

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I wrote the below in 2010. It takes me back to a more innocent time, a more exciting time, and yet it still seems relatively fresh. I’ve not edited it, and so it is there, warts and all.

  • The Melbourne Cup – we arrived on Melbourne Cup day and watched in amazement as the country stopped midweek for a horse race. Oh, I wish the Derby were still on a weekday. We watched the race on an outdoor screen in Queen Street. The winner was Media Puzzle. JOD tipped it, Sir Peter backed it. I didn’t.
  • The Walk Up Vulture Street – Unforgettable. To me this was bigger than my first trip to Wembley, the Nou Camp, the San Siro…. Little old me, the first Dmitri in my family that I knew of to go to Australia and to be there at the start of an Ashes series. Just blew my mind. You never get a second chance to experience that first feeling. It was one of awe and wonderment. I remember texting ZS about it. He got it! He knew that feeling!

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  • A Bad Toss To Win – If you were going to stick the Aussies in on a belting batting wicket. Hussain’s decision is up there with Harmison’s wide and Slater smashing the first ball for four for calamitous openings. We were told it hadn’t rained in an age, that the weather was hot, that it would stay hot, and that the pitch was a good one to bat on. Hussain still decided to field. I recall Sir Peter videoing the toss, and I say whoever Chappell talks to first had won the toss. When he went to Nasser Insane, I said “OK we are batting”. These were the days before everything was filmed and the toss was still a bit of a mystery. When the tannoy announced we were fielding, my response was “big mistake”.
  • Fielding on Day One – We fielded like drains. Vaughan let one through his legs in the first over. Catches were put down, skiers dropped, and England fell apart before our eyes. It probably wouldn’t have made much difference to the result, because England would have had to chase a score to win, but it didn’t help.

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  • These Charming Men – When you hear an Aussie moan about the crowd in 2005, or booing Ricky Ponting last time around, just tell them to whistle. They are very proud of their own barracking, like telling Jardine to leave their flies alone (another rib). But I will always recall one bloke who for some reason, hated Matthew Hoggard. He did not stop all day, and wit was not part of his repertoire. If I said “Hoggard, you are fucking shit” was about as intellectual as it got, you’d get the picture. So we booed Ponting, and wanted to win and made life hard in 2005. So we shouted no-ball at Chucker Lee. Aussies can certainly throw, but can’t catch.
  • Simon Jones – He bowled very, very well in the first session. The Aussies around us weren’t so chirpy when he was bowling. He got Langer out, looked the part, and then tragically did his knee running to the boundary and sliding to field a ball on what was a sandpit. Slagged off as a wimp as he was stretchered off, the Aussie supporters added class to crass, and it took him a long while to recover. I don’t care what doctors might say, Brisbane robbed England of a 200-300 wicket taker that day because of a sub-standard outfield.
  • 364 for 2 – Seared on my brain, that scoreboard. Matthew Hayden, as joyless a batsman to watch as I can recall – he isn’t obdurate enough to see the human-like struggles, languid enough to enjoy the strokeplay, carefree enough to enjoy the lack of inhibitions, or flawed so that you felt like you had a chance. This was straight up, straight bat smashing of the ball. All machismo and bravado, allied to technique and a mouth. If he were on my team, I’d be singing his praises. He’s against us, so I despise him. Ponting added a ton so routine it was as if he had made a pre-game agreement. We left the ground devoid of hope.

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  • 24 Hours Too Late – England’s second day performance was much better. We skittled, if you can indeed skittle a side that was 364 for 2, out for less than 500. We bowled well, held our catches, stopped Gilchrist in his tracks and if it weren’t for Warne, would have had them out for a lot less. Nice performance 24 hours too late.
  • Butcher & Tres – Here’s what it was like for me on the second evening. Whenever I watched that Aussie team, every ball was a potential wicket. You had McGrath, Gillespie, Warne and you only semi-consciously relaxed when Andy Bichel came on. You watched on tenterhooks every ball. Something could happen. You expected something to happen. Ally this to copious amounts of alcohol and a hot sun, and this becomes close to paranoia. “it’ll be this ball” was the feeling. It never came. Butch and Tres made half-centuries, we were 160 odd for 1 at the end of the day and somewhat optimistic.
  • The Second Day Social Scene – Quite a day. We got drunk, got chatting to a local called Craig Ian Savage, who now has a Surrey cap, while Sir Peter has a Canberra Raiders one. We had banter, we had beer, we went to the Brisbane Hotel afterwards and bought the local a drink. He wanted to come out for a beer with us in town, and started to lead us down to his place. I thought this odd, let’s leave it at that and made my excuses. I said we’d meet him in town, got in a cab (second attempt – from a pub where a big gruff Aussie bloke slagged off English lager) and crashed out in our apartment from heat, drink and jet lag. We never knew if CIS had gone into town, or if he was after our blood. Who knows? Very odd.
  • Karaoke Night At The Conq – It was either Saturday or Sunday’s play, but hearing the dulcet tones through Sir Peter’s mobile phone was something to remember. Statto and Widdecombe, Live Via Satellite, In Brisbane.
  • Smoking At The Gabba – I was still a smoker in those days, and there was a designated area to puff your cancer sticks, and you still got to see the cricket. On the third day it would be most memorable for having a puff and seeing Alec Stewart’s bails fly off. Our recovery was over.
  • Big Haired Man From Birmingham – Memory fails me now, but we met a top bloke at the Gabba. A West Indian by origin, he was touring Australia and watching the cricket, having the time of his life. As you do, you meet people to stop and have a beer with, and Sir Peter claimed this one. He got us into the top tier in the afternoon, giving us a different perspective of the Day 3 play, and then tipped us off about how to get cheap accommodation (Wotif.com). We had a couple of beers after play, and bade our farewells, saying we would see him on the 5th day if there were a chance of a result. Alas, we never made it to Day 5. And nor did England. What was his name, Sir Peter?

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  • The Manchester Derby – This was fantastic. We had a meal in an open air area on Queen Street and they had the TV on and said the Manchester Derby would be on soon. We asked if it was alright to stay there and have a beer to watch it, and they said fine. I think the game must have kicked off at about midnight Brisbane time, and the bar was full. We sat with some other SE Londoners, with me talking loads about Millwall while the City boys won 3-1 (there was an almighty cock up by Schmeichel – Goater scored twice). When we left the restaurant / bar, on the other side, unbeknown to us, there must have been hundreds watching it in an open air bar. This must have been at 1:30 or so in the morning. It was mad. I remember a gobby City fan shouting, in the middle of Brisbane “typical Rags. When they win, they are all around, when they lose, they just fuck off….” Was he the hooligan firm, deep south division? A very bizarre experience.
  • Sunday Morning – Heavy of head, heavy of heart, we headed to the Gabba for a morning’s self-flagellation. The novelty of walking down Vulture Street feeling awe-inspired had disappeared. Now it was the last rites. The crowds were down, the enthusiasm was down, and we faced Hayden doing a century double. We still got there on time.
  • Matthew Hayden has just hit Craig White’s first ball for Six – As re-told in my Ashes memories below. It was the timing. I was doing the paper review for Sir Peter’s video, you hear a crack on the bat as White’s loosener is summarily despatched. In one instant you summed up the feelings of the England fan. This is soul-destroying. Hayden went on to complete his second ton of the game.
  • We’re Off To The Gold Coast – We never did see the denouement. The collapse was relayed to us (see below) as we headed down to see the Bald Eagle on the Gold Coast. We hoped to return for Day 5, but when we left, we knew England were going to need to bat at least a session, and probably longer on day 4 for that to be worth our while coming back up the following morning. Instead, England made it easy for us by collapsing. We watched the end in the Bald Eagle’s nest in Helensvale, and commiserated by having a dip in the pool, putting another shrimp on the barbie, and having a few beers. It didn’t sting that much.
  • The Police Woman Appreciation Society – In Brisbane I will recall the lady officer who became the objet d’amour of the Barmy Army. Her fella was working on the opposite side of the ground, and I wonder what he would have made of her blatant flirting, and getting her pictures done with some very frisky English tourists. She didn’t appear for Day 4. Quelle surprise. Not sure what it said about some of our fellow travellers’ sexual proclivities!
  • Three Dollars To The Pound – We’re so rich it’s unbelievable! Take Your Shit Stars Off Our Flag! God Save Your Gracious Queen… The first encounter I had with the Barmy Army, and I loved it – about 80% of the time. Sometimes it can get a bit sexist, a bit too close to jingoism (racism is too strong a word – probably a bit tainted by the Barmy Army do in Adelaide, which had all the sophistication and jingoism of that bastion of prejudice, the rugby club), but overall, pretty good fun and loved the songs. Regrettably the exchange rate has worsened as our chances have increased!
  • GO TO BED MAN! – This one’s for you Danno. We are on the train from Brisbane to Helensvale (or whatever station we stopped at) and we are astounded it is free because we had a test ticket (imagine TFL doing that at The Oval or Lord’s). As we are going south on our hour journey, Sir Peter’s phone is going off with the scores. I’ve had a couple of texts earlier from my then squeeze, but this is Danno, he of the Adelaide Story, texting us in the dead of the UK night. Unfortunately, it always seemed to be with bad news. “Australia declare – Gilchrist smashed it everywhere”.  “Vaughan’s out in the first over – 1 for 1”. Bloody hell, we murmur. That makes it less likely we’ll be back, we thought. Then the phone goes again “Trescothick out – 3 for 2”. The phrase that has been recounted on numerous instances since was christened. “Can’t you just text back, Go To Bed Man”. And so it was done.

I hope you enjoyed my tales of the unrequited. I’m sure Sir Peter has some of his own.

Brisbane 2002 was an assault on the senses, and gave me a good feeling for what watching England cricket down under was like. I ended up going to four test matches in Australia over two tours, and we lost the lot. But there’s nothing like your first overseas test.

I know this is blatant filler but I think cricketing memories such as these are always worth sharing. Any Ashes (or other tourists) memories, or recollections of this test, welcome. Also, name the 7 authors of the pieces above for a laugh. They are all pretty easy, I think.

We, Are Young But Getting Old Before Our Time

LordCanisLupus32 Comments

It seems so long ago that How Did We Lose in Adelaide was just my mournful old nonsense and no-one read it. Four years ago I was looking forward to an Ashes series, I had a different role, at a different status in a job that allowed me time to breathe and contemplate the rantings I committed to this digital paper. We had a pretty good team, we’d beaten Australia 3-0 at home, and people actually moaned, after the years we had put up with, that we hadn’t played better in doing so. We’d won in India, and in the batting ranks we looked solid, except for an opener, and in the bowling we looked fine too. Sure, the two games Australia batted first in we had trouble in not losing, but that was being picky.

Fast forward to now and life has taken amazing turns. I’m a lot more senior, in a more challenging role, and it takes much more of my time. As the down time is much shorter, I’ve got less time to write. As the job crams my limited cranium capacity, the key time I devoted to the blog, the thinking time to write stuff in my head before committing it to the blog is restricted. The chances to actually watch cricket is hugely constrained. I’m honest about this folks, I can’t cover what I used to without being more of a fraud than many think I am already. Last week I got some time off, but this coincided with a wedding anniversary (I don’t live in my mum’s basement) which we spent in Rome. This week I face four and half days in major City Law firm’s offices – so no, I’m not unemployed either, and do have a full life – where my job entails negotiating massive transactions. I’m no superstar, I’m not even well paid, but it’s certainly not going to give me the chance to do what I want to do on here.

Because we have the Ashes, and already a hectic pre-Christmas work nightmare, combined with the lack of sleep an Ashes series always brings with it, means fear. It’s certainly much better when we are doing well, but a losing, disastrous series is not a good thing for the soul, or your health. Going to work with a combination of Southeastern trains, our Ashes hopes going south, and sleep deprivation is not a prescription for good health.

I know that this is also a horrible time of year for workloads for both Chris and Sean, so collectively we apologise for the lack of content. Judging by the recent Twitter output, we are not missing much, and also, probably we need to put some stuff together. Danny did a brilliant job this week, and now it’s my turn.

It is fair to say that we only really remember pre-Ashes warm-up games if they have a memorable quote attached to it (Martin Johnson 1986) or that they are part of some well-conceived master plan designed to buff up the Head Coach and their visionary captains (2010 – we’ll try to win every game philosophy). Other than that, no-one really remembers how we do. Do you remember how poorly Cook started the 2010 tour? What about Robert Key’s tour de force against Australia A in 2002? So let’s not read too much into this phony war. Pre-Ashes warm-ups are for practice and to get into some sort of form. I don’t necessarily want my players to get out for skittish 60s or effervescent 80s, but it is absolutely clear, given past form, that if Root doesn’t fire, and Stokes isn’t there, we are putting our faith in Cook having a great series against a top pace attack (we have to go a fair way back for that and the evidence of recent performance really needs realistic appraisal), or one of the players we’ve punted on coming off.

This week BT Sport showed what you should do with a cricket channel by giving a whole day over to the highlights from the 1986-7 series. Going out to that series we had a poor outlook, Australia had performed creditably in India, while we’d lost at home to India and New Zealand. The openers were Broad and Athey, with Gatting at three, Lamb at four, Gower at five, Botham at six. Question marks all over the place. Weak openers, Gower not in peak form, Botham a pale shadow. It clicked because they got off to a good start, got their way with the Australian batting that had a few question marks of their own, and took their chances. This feels a bit like this to me. Throw out the 1994-2006 times, when we went up against a batting line up from the gods, when the Aussies could put out a 2nd XI batting line-up and they’s all get in that England team (on an individual basis). Australia are not in that mode at the moment. They have strong players, like Smith and Warner, but they also have “promising” talent like Renshaw and Handscomb, and their own question marks like the Marsh’s, Khawaja and others. Sure, they could well click and make the runs that are needed, but it’s not certain. This is an Australia team that didn’t handle South Africa very well last year, while with the aid of injuries and suspensions, we fared much better. Form lines aren’t to be trusted. But they are also not to be ignored.

There’s great concern about injuries, as always. It seems, with few exceptions, that we have this going to Australia all the time. Broad and Anderson have avoided the pitfalls, Woakes looks in fine fettle after his injury woes at home, which means we need one more seamer and Overton or Ball will be fine in the role. Tom Curran is one great pre-series spell away from getting a sniff too. We do need Moeen to get fit because in the absence of Stokes, his all round skills, and his elevation a place up the order, are vital. He’s the man we need the most. Fringe seamers who may not even have played aren’t something to flap about. Not really.

I have no real idea what is going to happen which is the joy of the series. We could get battered, and that’s not something to discount, but we could also play well and surprise. England do OK outside of the sub-continent. Stokes is a massive blow, and there’s no way to pretend otherwise (and it’s now too late for him to be involved even if he is cleared), but we can certainly put together performances. Jimmy Anderson has to be good, which is by no means assured (he had excuses for last time around) but why do we fear Mitchell Starc, who has done nothing against us, when we have Jimmy who has 500 wickets and the Aussies don’t give a stuff? Something about mental attitude.

Time permitting we’ll do some pre-Ashes pieces, but we’ll leave the meaningless stuff to others! Can we have some volunteers for the Ashes panel. You may remember how this works; we get five people to answer five questions for each test match and publish them. We also have the annual awards which I’ll put up before the series starts. I have the Dmitris to put together and an annual review of the social and print media. The other members of the editorial team will have their posts too, and I have a piece from Man in a Barrel to stick up (and if you want to update that, sir, please do).

It’s the Ashes though. It’s still special. And I will try to remember that when Lovejoy and Shiny Toy are commentating. It’s going to be hard.

And Another One Gone…

dannycricket72 Comments

It is now just two weeks until the men’s Ashes begins, and it’s fair to say that things aren’t going to plan for England. In fact, it’s hard to see any realistic scenario in which things could be worse for the tourists.

This morning Jake Ball apparently suffered an ankle strain whilst bowling, the latest bowling casualty before the series even begins. Wood, Roland-Jones and Finn are all unavailable, as of course is Ben Stokes for an entirely different reason. Moeen Ali is expected to be fit in time for the first game, but the way England’s luck is going you’d be a fool to guarantee that.

None of these players are on their own irreplaceable (even Stokes), but having 5 fast bowlers with international experience all missing at the same time would tax any country’s reserves. Tom Curran is already travelling to Australia to replace Finn in the squad, and it seems likely another bowler will be called up to join him. There are no obvious substitutes waiting in the wings for England, who already have three uncapped bowlers in their squad.

Liam Plunkett, perhaps the first thought for most people who follow the England team, has apparently been focussing on playing limited overs cricket this summer. His most recent Test match was against India in 2014, and he only played 2 championship games this season. The only other fast bowler with international experience who might be available is Chris Jordan, but with an average of 32.83 in Division 2 this summer he isn’t knocking the door down.

The more likely alternative is another uncapped bowler. Saqib Mahmood and Tom Helm are the two fast bowlers in the Lions squad which will be touring Australia this winter, but neither has much first class experience to draw on. For all of the candidates, I feel massively underqualified to judge them as I don’t follow county cricket very closely. Whoever is selected, it’s a tough ask for such an inexperienced bowling attack to do well in Australia.

The performance of the current bowling attack today against Cricket Australia XI hardly filled me with optimism about the upcoming series either. After taking 5 wickets in the first 33 overs of the innings, England then seemed unable to dismiss the tail with an older ball. I don’t think it bodes well for when England have to face the full Australian side, although of course Broad was not playing in this game.

All of which doom and gloom leads me to England’s batting. Stoneman, Vince and Malan have all had very good tours so far, but it’s hard to look past their performances this summer when guessing how they will play against Australia. Meanwhile, Cook is currently averaging 8.00 on this tour and Root has been good but not great. With Stokes almost certain to be replaced by a bowler, England have much less margin for error from their specialist batsmen than they have enjoyed in recent times.

One point I noted about England’s batting yesterday was how much trouble they had against Australian legspinner Daniel Fallins in his debut first class game. He finished with figures of 5-73, and if he can manage something similar in the second innings then perhaps Australia might be tempted to call Mitchell Swepson or another legspinner into their squad. England’s failings against spin have been clearly evident in recent years, and Nathan Lyon is no doubt looking forward to facing them.

At least the fielding seems pretty good though. That’s something to hold on to.

As a sidenote, BT Sport have been showing the game against Cricket Australia XI for free on their Facebook page, as well as the women’s Ashes Test on their Youtube channel. Free English cricket is so rare nowadays, please enjoy it while you can.

As always, comments are welcome below. If you can give me some small scrap of hope about England’s chances this winter, that would be especially welcome.

And The Painting You Stole From Picasso

LordCanisLupus129 Comments

October has passed, the traditional down month on Being Outside Cricket, and we haven’t exactly bucked a trend on here with our output last month – some traditions may be worht keeping. In truth even our WhatsApp group has been really quiet as I think we get over the hard work of a cricketing summer, try to replenish the enthusiasm to carry on writing while trying not to drop the standard, and to try to focus on something different, or approach something from a different way. We are always keen that the site, and the posts are prevented from being a load of old samey nonsense, being too vanilla and that they to get you to care. We are certainly not here just to conform with social media norms of bantz, lolz and all that jazz.

November will see the start of the Ashes in the early hours of Thursday 23rd November. I love the Ashes, and will still be hooked on watching as much as I can. Hopefully this turns into decent pieces for you to read and elicits the insight, caustic and pointed as it is, from you lot. I think a few of you needed the time off too to prepare for the overnight slog of an Ashes series. I think we’ll be buried below so much meaningless pre-Ashes claptrap from the media, we’ll just hibernate until the action starts for real. Or maybe not.

So, this is a blatant holding post for now. Work has taken over a lot of my time, more than it used to, and when I do get home, I don’t want to stare at screens, or look for inspiration, to write. I know Chris has similar issues with his work at this time of the year, and Sean is also in a relatively new job. There’s also not really a lot to write about, if truth be told. I do still owe you the Readers Awards poll, and the second nominee for our conceptual Mount Rushmore, after Giles Clarke pretty much swept the board last year.

I did want to raise one point, and it may not be one the vast majority of the readership agrees with. It may even be odd, coming from me.

I believe that Ben Stokes should be in our Ashes party.

But here’s the thing. I can certainly understand it if people think he shouldn’t.

This may appear to be a really woolly position, but it is symptomatic of where we are now. If you don’t agree with me, then fine. I’m cool with that. It doesn’t do for us to all agree. I like to think, even if I might not have shown it, that throughout the KP business, I understood if people didn’t like KP. Hell, after some of his latest stuff, I’m not sure if I do. But just because he disagrees isn’t a reason to hate, to shut out the contrary view. What grinds my gears is when there are no shades of grey in any issue. If you believe Stokes should go you are condoning blatant thuggery, you are setting a bad example to kids, you are basically scum. I’ve seen that. Give over. I had a fight outside a pub once – innocent party and all that. Hell, I nearly got arrested in Barcelona for a row with my brother! Less a fight, more an aggressive embrace. We are as close as brothers can be. Shit happens.

Whereas I say, he’s not been charged, yet, and therefore he is either available for selection or the ECB suspend him. There is a form of moral code now that our sportsman have to adhere to. I’m not necessarily falling for the gay bloke story, but this jump to judgement is symptomatic of conclusions drawn from limited evidence. A vacuum needs to be filled. Opinion fills it. I know how this works.

It’s not about Stokes per se – but about attitudes to debate. I found my arguments carried more weight, more influence, when I got angry. Anger brings steamroller tactics, no compromise, I’m right, you are wrong. The world is not full of absolutes. There’s a guy I follow on Twitter who is adamant Stokes is a thug, who could have killed someone, and should not play for England ever again. Presumably Wayne Rooney, among countless others over the years, getting into a car sopping drunk and driving, who legitimately could kill someone too, is fine because, well, he never meant to hurt someone. I had a mate die because of drink driving. Maybe I should get all mad about Wayne Rooney still picking up hundreds of thousands a week (and this isn’t picking on Rooney). But don’t. Shades of grey.

The Stokes debate has absolutely got me depressed with the state of cricket on social media and in the press. Maybe it’s a bit casual to say that fights happen all the time, good people get embroiled in them, and there for the grace of God etc. It’s easy to be morally pious, and yes, no doubt I’ve done it. It’s not an absolute. Sorry, it just isn’t. We chuckle at Botham claiming to chase Ian Chappell for a fight, but then get up in arms because the one man who appeared most likely to get involved in something like this, did. I don’t know what to say.

If Twitter wasn’t necessary for this gig, I wouldn’t be on it. Or at least I’d unfollow a lot of the cricketing firmament who deal in absolutes, and that their opinion is right to the exclusion of all others. Maybe I’m mellowing (I doubt it).

So, not the long run the Bogfather was looking for, but there’s time for that. The BT Sport panel for starters. Shiny Toy and Lovejoy. It hardly seems fair.

Also, I see there was good news so far for Jonathan Agnew’s wife. I am sure we can all be pleased about that. He may divide opinion, but he’s sometimes been an ally to this blogger, and having lost close relatives, like many, to that disease, it is nice when people get good news. So good luck.

Don’t worry. I’ll be back to my curmudgeonly ways, no doubt.

Australia vs England: Women’s Ashes

thelegglance4 Comments

If the build up to the men’s series has been, for England at least, somewhat problematic, there have been few such distractions for their female counterparts. Winning the World Cup in the summer is an obvious highlight, and with the series played over the format of points for the ODIs, Test and the T20s, a competitive series seems more likely here than in the one starting next month. 

Australia are missing Meg Lanning due to a shoulder injury that keeps her out for the entire series, while England have had limited time to warm up due to bad weather.  Yet England are probably still the favourites, although Australia’s home advantage and position as holders does make it all to play for. 

As ever, the large number of points available means that the Test match is pivotal to the outcome, although its importance to the series has led to a desire to avoid defeat rather than go for the win on occasion. 

The rise in popularity of women’s cricket has been one of the more intriguing developments in cricket, particularly set against the problems in the men’s game. Participation continues to rocket, indeed it is women’s cricket that disguises the continuing drop in male participation – the ECB have taken to publishing combined figures in the last few years – and the World Cup final undoubtedly grabbed attention beyond the niche support that had been the case up until then. 

Oh, and it’s not on Sky, so expect them to go out of their way to pretend it isn’t happening. 

Hiatus month

thelegglance131 Comments

October is a funny time for those based in England – the season is done, the winter tours are still seemingly distant, the football and rugby seasons are properly underway, and for the assorted scribblers that make up this place, it’s a busy time at work.  This is probably why the ICC pick this time of year to slip out proposed changes to the game, just to ensure maximum annoyance at BOC Towers.

Of course, we’ve been here before, the stillborn Test Championship being a case in point, and when our Glorious Overlords come up with their latest wheeze to create “context” for the game of cricket, there’s a temptation to sigh and reach for the brandy.  Or revolver.

The concept is simple enough, for Test cricket to work towards becoming a competition with a winner at the end of it, the proposal being for the top nine teams to play each other home and away over a two year period culminating in final to determine the winner.  So far so good.  Given the abandonment of the Future Tours Programme as being anything more than a suggestion, some kind of plan for how Test cricket should function should be welcomed.  But the proposal has very little meat on the bones, and the plan for it to start in 2019 puts rather a tight timetable on it being adopted.   There’s little information announced about what the next step would be thus far at least, and we’re already closing fast on 2018.

There’s also the element of announcement fatigue when it comes to ICC edicts.  We’ve been here so many times before.  But let’s be generous and assume it’s going to come off.  A proper competition could actually be rather fun, with all series having something riding on them, whether for the teams hoping to reach a final, or those further down who hope to still be involved next time around.  That in itself does create a problem, for the 10th placed team might find it somewhat difficult to arrange series to get themselves involved for the following competition.  There’s little indicating a pathway for Zimbabwe, Afghanistan and Ireland, which doesn’t in itself mean there won’t be one, just that it’s either not been thought about, or not been considered.  Sceptics about the ICC can make up their own minds.

Equally, when the round of matches comes to a conclusion, it will presumably be straight into the next one once the final has been played.  The leading sides would be fairly reluctant to organise a series against a team who might not be involved for the following summer, and the potential for the lower ranking sides to be left dangling has to be real.  In any case, having only to play 6 of the 8 sides could offer the possibility of gaming the system on the one hand, or simply ignoring the lesser lights on the other.  Quite how it could be made compulsory to ensure all nine teams actually get those 6 series in two years hasn’t been explained; Bangladesh only just managed to reach the required number over the last two years, while the fraught bilateral relationship between India and Pakistan is an obvious problem.

Nine is perhaps a specifically chosen number, for it would exclude Zimbabwe, a country who would find it problematic to arrange series against some countries, notably England.  The lack of requirement for everyone to play everyone else might be considered deliberate in that light.

The length of series too is merely confined to be a minimum of two and a maximum of five, suggesting a complete refusal to become involved in changing the tendency to play as little as possible against the smaller nations.  It’s probably not too surprising in itself, for the ICC is not a governing body in the normal sense, more an outlet for the collective musings of the bigger countries.   The points system too is unknown, and that could provide some grounds for decent argument, given how the Test championship table can give rise to some interesting aberrations from time to time.

Still being generous (which gets harder by the day), it could provide grounds for a Test series to matter more to spectators and participants alike.  Yet it’s tough to see this as any kind of radical change, more trying to fit a competition around what more or less exists at present.  In some respects, that might well be as much as is possible to do at this stage; the various vested interests have always managed to kill attempts to bring forward genuine change – unless money is involved of course, for then it’s a different matter.

Of perhaps more interest in terms of a significant change is the proposed ODI league due to start a year after its Test equivalent.  One day series have always been utterly disposable (without looking it up, can you remember the series results even from this summer?), to the point that the acronym JAMODI  – work it out yourself – gained some currency.  The proposal appears to be that the eight series to be played over that time will be over three matches, and unlike with the Test programme, that’s not put forward as a minimum, but an absolute.  If that is the case, then shorter ODI series would appear to be the way forward, which is intriguing in itself were it to happen.

The last major change being mooted is to trial four day Test matches, probably beginning with the Boxing Day Test between South Africa and Zimbabwe later this year.  There’s a rationale there, for a fixture such as that the likelihood of it going five days is questionable, and for Test cricket to have a future, then it does need to pay its way.  The problem with this is what it always has been – it’s messing with a format that works as a cricket one.  The ECB have been in favour for a while, because Tests in England are often finishing in four days.  But there is, and always has been, a fundamental difference between noting that trend (and it needs to be shouted long and loud that elsewhere this is not an issue) and removing the potential for the kind of fifth day we saw only this summer against the West Indies.  Accepting the need for Test cricket to pay its way is hardly an argument in the country that retains the greatest interest in the format.

Experiment by all means, but note that the players appear to be rather opposed.

It’s easy to be cynical about the ICC, but then they do keep giving those cynics reason to be so.  The announcements have been made, and all will wait to see if anything comes of them.  It could be good, but then few would be surprised if it all unravelled to leave nothing but the four day Tests behind.  Cynicism is so often a product of repeatedly being let down.

In other news, BT Sport have announced their commentary line up for the forthcoming Ashes series.  With the usual Sky commentators clearly unavailable, many of the names will come as little surprise, such as Michael Vaughan and Geoffrey Boycott.  Having Ricky Ponting and Adam Gilchrist to represent the home team does at least offer the potential for some kind of insight, while Matt Smith will be the main presenter.  Graeme Swann has also been listed as being present, though there is some debate as to whether he will only be there until Perth before coming home if England are losing.

I Had Some Dreams, They Were Clouds In My Coffee

LordCanisLupus58 Comments

21st November 2002. Adelaide. After a chastening first test defeat at Brisbane, the England Ashes tour moved to Adelaide. So had I. On my first visit to watch England overseas it was time for the last leg of the most amazing holiday. Day 1 at Adelaide, after the awful queues and mix-up over tickets, was lit up by an innings of unimagined brilliance. Michael Vaughan slipped the gears, flowed beautifully, took advantage of short square boundaries and made 177 magnificent runs. To be there was a privilege. Hell, for a day at least it even gave us a little hope, although we were disappointed he was out from the last ball of the day. If cricket is entertainment, then Vaughan was the main show for England. Sure he’s made a couple of 190s against India in the preceding summer. This was the Ashes, my Ashes, and I had an England hero to be proud of. He even stood straight faced as he did not walk and pissed Justin Langer off. That was a win-win as far as I was concerned.

24th November 2002. Adelaide. The game is over. Despite Vaughan adding a decent 40-odd in the second innings, Ricky Ponting has been made man of the match. The Barmy Army, based by the scoreboard at Adelaide Oval sing “Michael Vaughan, My Lord, Michael Vaughan” in the immediate aftermath of the announcement. How could the adjudicators not watch that innings and put it above Ponting’s? A minor quibble.

12th September 2005. London. After that successful Ashes, where he made two more big hundreds, Vaughan ascended to the captaincy and pointed England in the right direction, making them more ruthless in association with the development of a couple of key weapons. There was the rampage through 2004. A win in South Africa, and then the coup de grace. Winning the Ashes in front of amazed crowds, with a team that should be remembered for all time. They winged it a bit, arguably did not win in their most dominant performance (Old Trafford), but come the final day the series was in the balance. This amazing Day 5 will, or at least should, never be forgotten. A man playing to his captain’s orders saved the day. England celebrated. Vaughan was seen as a genius, a man able to get the best out of his team, to make it gel, and together with Duncan Fletcher, a team that played exciting attacking cricket, with a team of stars and artisans.

Michael Vaughan, for a couple of years, was the star of English cricket. He had become the world number 1 batsman after a run of form so magical it was scarcely believable. While his batting paid the price in the wake of his appointment as captain, he proved himself to be tactically astute, an infuser of confidence, a beacon of control. He did, also, have a really good bowling attack which, after 2005, never played together in full again. I bought his books, bad as they were. I watched the videos time and again. I still have his 177 in full, I think, converted to DVD. Being there for that was incredible. There was such confidence in his strokeplay, such clean hitting, and confidence. That was what struck out at me, his confidence. While Hussain pottered about at the other end, scratching runs here and there, Vaughan was playing a different game.

Fast forward 15 years since then, 12 years since those Ashes, and the picture could hardly be more different. I’ll wager that the England cricket supporters on here would not have had a bad word said about Vaughan after 2005. In hindsight, and with the benefit of what we know now, Vaughan’s role as a captain may even be questioned, such has been the body of evidence post career of insensitivity, stupidity and downright nonsense uttered from our ex-captain that you wonder how he could lead. When we look at Sky, and I am not a fan of many of them, at least ex-captains Hussain and Atherton grip you with what they say. Nass may go off the deep end every now and then, but you see and hear the utter passion he has for the game at heart. Atherton, in his own way, shows his love for international cricket behind a reserved, considered approach very much akin to the way Richie Benaud approached things. Both ex-captains are, I think, still very much respected for different methodologies, but also because their commentary and analysis avoids you thinking “what are they after?”

Michael Vaughan is all over the bloody airwaves, and social media. He is on Radio 5 Live, both in his stint as a commentator on TMS and a podcast show with the vacuous faux joker Phil Tufnell. Even in the days of HDWLIA when I tried to read and listen to everything, these two clowns were not exactly required listening. At least Freddie makes no bones about wanting to get into show-business. Vaughan can also be found commentating on the dead zone that is Channel 5’s highlights, and if that isn’t enough, he’s going to be on BT Sport’s coverage of the Ashes this winter, was on their sofa last year, and is sure to be put up alongside Graeme Swann as the face of the winter. I love the Ashes, especially in Australia (2002 and 2006 did that to me, even though we lost all 4 matches I went to) and we are going to have to put up with this. In the words of one of my favourite pop collectives, What Have I Done To Deserve This?

There’s no sanctuary on social media. There he is, bestriding Twitter with his faux man of the people act that soon disappears when someone picks him up on something he says, or lawks a mercy, mentions potential conflicts of interest when ISM clients are discussed. If there’s an opinion to be had, he’ll have one. If there’s an acca to promote, he’ll promote it (where he is a “rep” for an online betting company, thus turning an innocent sharing of a bet into a commercial opportunity). He’s also someone who lurches into hyperbole far too readily. If there’s a greatest ever, then he’s onto it. I’m a grump, but I find this nonsense tiresome. And for someone bemoaning a drinking culture (once he saw how the land laid) he’s quick to say it’s “vino o’clock”. Harmless? Sure, but when he’s doing it. Oh, and how about filming a commercial with Stokes for an alcoholic beverage? I suppose it was OK as Hales wasn’t about.

If you think you are safe in newspaper land, well you’d be wrong. He has a gig at the Telegraph where he can share with us his knowledge of mental health issues, his social responsibility agenda, and generally act as a slightly more refined Robbie Savage. Jonathan Liew said of Savage that he always has an opinion, and if you hang about long enough, he’ll give you a diametrically opposite opinion. Vaughan is cricket’s equivalent, a sort of Instant Messenger form of writing. He can say something, hope you’ll forget it, and then say something totally different when he sees how the wind is blowing. Note how he’s changed from a sorrowful, almost excusing tone earlier in the Stokes affair, converting to a full on hammering down, even throwing Alex Hales under the bus too. With friends like these, who the hell needs enemies? One minute we need to understand why Stokes needs to unwind, but once the media line to take was set, it’s you never want to go on a night out with these headbangers.

I think, for me, the beginning of the end was how Vaughan watched how the wind was blowing post 2013-14 and made the case for KP. It was always couched in the public should be told, and that this appeared a question of management. One could almost be fooled that he was on “our side”. If KP made runs in the Big Bash, Vaughan would be on Twitter, saying that he’s useful, he should be in our T20 side at least etc. etc. He was, undoubtedly, playing to the gallery. He is well entrenched into the England cricketing firmament, and he was running with hare and hunting with the hounds. So while, on his radio show, he’d be in tune with us, saying those things we wanted to hear, in reality he was talking out of the side of his mouth. It was more self-referential mentions of how he managed to keep KP in check, and less why the ECB were being ocean-going morons with their outside cricket, dodgy dossiers and contempt for the public. Oh sure, he picked the low-hanging fruit, but he never convinced us he’d do anything about it. When the story came and went, ebbed and flowed, he’d be there to talk about it, but given he has an unspoken influence in the game, he didn’t seem to want to get involved or have a true pop.

Because when he got the chance to do it, he bottled it. He may not have won but for a man supposedly so keen for his views to be heard, and to have influence over the game, he should have gone up against a man who could hardly be seen to be on the same hymn sheet as Vaughan. Michael made it known how he wanted talent to run free, to play positively, to attack, to “fight fire with fire”. Strauss was a man of process, of management theory, of team-building through bonding and stability, buy-in and culture. There was bowling dry, team ethics, winning with pressure applied, and when the team made runs on the board, they were formidable. The ultimate company man, the man who would eschew public opinion and do things his way against a so-called “man of the people”. Process against charisma. Stability against Invention. Bowling dry against pedal to the metal.

Vaughan may have read the runes and said to himself that the ECB would never go for him, but he retreated with caution. There were whispers, most notably from the key domestic cricket writer on ESPN Cricinfo that Vaughan had serious conflicts of interest he would have to divest, which were providing him with a nice little sideline to his commentary and writing gigs. Most notably, and the one which has us wondering quite what we have now is his involvement in ISM.

This is a trick played by all the celebs who claim to love the “bantz” but when it is directed at them, it’s “only opinions”. As if Michael Vaughan’s opinions have absolutely no weighting on any decisions made. I could spend months trawling his twitter feed for examples of this opinion forming manifested itself into team selections. For example, Jonathan Trott, after his first absence from the team made a double hundred for England Lions in South Africa. Off he went on the bandwagon that Trott should return as opener for the West Indies tour coming up. Sam Robson had been dumped and in came Trott. A couple of iffy innings later and Vaughan is saying there’s no way Trott can play in the Ashes, and lo and behold, Adam Lyth is his successor, and he gets the nod. Lyth has a tough time, and Vaughan, yet again gets it right..

Moeen Ali doesn’t have a great tour in the Emirates and Alex Hales comes in. Lo and behold, Vaughan was again in favour…

Vaughan echoed Hussain’s sentiments when he selected his ideal England XI to line-up against South Africa in Durban on Boxing Day.

“(Hales) deserves the chance to open the batting,” Vaughan wrote in The Telegraph.

“It will not be easy to face Steyn and Morkel on his first tour as Test opener but he will have plenty of opportunity in warm up games to find form and a bit of confidence.

Don’t you think we can all do this? Listen to the leaks, report on them, “back” them, because all pundits need to “back” decisions and then repent at leisure. Because, as we know, Hales kept his place for the early part of the 2016 summer and Vaughan had his own focus… James Vince.

This is the issue with Vaughan. Even if he believes James Vince is the answer to our Ashes issues now, or the next taxi on the rank back in 2016, there is, below the surface, the conflict of interest Jonathan Trott went to town on in his book. Vince is in the ISM gang, and that causes a problem with the smell test.

Methinks he protests too much…What Vaughan does not get, and seems to bristle at whenever it is mentioned is that he put himself in this position. He has not exactly been quiet when evaluating James Vince’s early performances. As I say, I remember him bigging up Vince’s fielding when he was in the early days of his test career, more than I’ve ever really heard from him before. It just seemed like an additional promo for “his man”. Now he denies this furiously wherever he goes, even threatening to take legal action against Jonathan Trott and, I presume, his co-writer George Dobell, for making that contention. It’s a dead cert to get you blocked should you try it on on Twitter. The reaction to Vince being touted as an Ashes batsman was greeted with incredulity by those who give much of their time up following it, but were quickly dismissed as “outside the game” by Swann in a pairing with Vaughan. But, presumably as an exercise in thinking who should go to the Ashes tour, rather than who would be going, Vaughan showed that telepathy with the selectors for which he is renowned.

Ignore the bowlers, no-one really cares about them! The thing about this is I don’t know anyone suggesting Vince prior to the weekend before selection and yet an ISM client is put in an ISM client’s list is just happenstance? It came together with the ready packed line to take (he may have the technique for Australia – which is interesting because Vaughan bemoaned Vince’s “hard hands” a year ago and was frustrated that he wasn’t showing the required temperament – presumably these disappear in Brisbane) and off we ran.

But perhaps the single thing that cheeses me off with Vaughan is his unquenchable thirst to promote four day test matches. I’ll go into this more when I do a piece on this risible nonsense, and look at the pros and cons put in the article in the Cricketer (Tim, Tim, why have you let us down on this one). He just does not listen to the arguments against. Imagine how you would have felt, Michael, on the Saturday of the Old Trafford test in 2005. We put 400 on the board, Australia had avoided the follow-on on a rain ruined Day 3. That test would simply have had nowhere to go. England 180 in front, Australia with three wickets left. Day 4 a total irrelevance. Your 166 in the first innings in total vain. A nice bon mot in a game that died. Even with an additional ten overs each day, you aren’t really in a better position. Then we would not have had that wonderful Day 5 drama, played in front of a packed house, watched by millions on TV, entertainment at its best, drama at its best, evolving in the natural flow of the game. 4 day cricket will only get the same results by contrivance. Doctoring pitches, and yes, I’ve heard it all about bowler-friendly wickets being more exciting, but they can also be more of a lottery, forced declarations. But the other thing it could do is make the home team going 1-0 up in a major series prepare roads that would not have to last that long. I can go on.

None of this matters to Vaughan. Test cricket is “dying” (no-one bothering to work out how or why it is being “killed”) and needs to be saved. The only way to do so is to shorten it. But you aren’t really because you’d bowl more overs in the day (stop laughing at the flaw in that argument), so all those exciting five day games would have been finished within his timeline… Anyone who isn’t on board is not with the program. Is prepared to see test cricket die. And if you dare mention it is to squeeze in more money opportunities for the top players that might just be hooked up to ISM, well, there you have it. A block for you.

Back in 2002, when I saw a man take it to the Aussies, in person, in front of my eyes, I would have given anything to be like him. The brilliant shots, the amazing tempo, the courage of his batting convictions. When he captained us in 2005, before my eyes, with control, with verve, with a desire to fight toe to toe with a mighty foe, he could have taken over English cricket at that time and I would have been a fervent fan. Fast forward and I see a man who has gone beyond disappointing me, to being a man I actually loathe hearing from. Sadly, as a cricket fan, I can hardly avoid him. He’s everywhere. He doesn’t pass the honesty smell test, no matter how much he protests. He sways with the wind, pretending, yes, in my view pretending, he’s in with the common fan, but he doesn’t half have a way of being in step with what the powers that be want. It’s almost uncanny. Of course he wants a new T20 competition in England and to hell with the consequences. Of course he wants 4 day test matches, and to hell with whether it will work, only we have to try. Of course he has his fingers on the pulse, because he’s so rarely off the air, I’m surprised anyone else has a chance to get a word in. Laugh at that Power List as we do, there’s a reason he’s that high up on it. There’s a special place in my little list for those who I thought were on our side, but are as inside cricket as can be and act like it when challenged. Number 39, for all his sins, and there are many, makes few bones about it. Hell, he named his podcast Inside Cricket. Vaughan pretended to be for the common fan. He’s nowhere near it. The Shiny Toy with the Mr Green Acca, the Ashes winning captain with the media platform.The faux man of the people. It’s only an opinion Shiny Toy.

I’m not a fan.

https://twitter.com/MichaelVaughan/status/918725486536138752
Give me a reason why it’s better. 

I Fought the Law – the Law Definitely Won

thelegglance29 Comments

Regular contributor Andy Oliver with his take on the recent law changes:

Why are we here?

For some reason, known only to the cricket gods, I decided to have a look at the just happened changes to the good old Laws (never rules – unless you want to wind up an umpire / stickler) of cricket.

The changes came into force internationally on the 1st October 2017, and seem to bring the worldwide game more into line with the playing conditions associated with International cricket (within reason obviously).

This has been a three year process by the MCC involving no one that I had ever heard of, except for Simon Taufel (ex-Aus umpire) so hopefully there has been an element of sense and improvement in the changes.

Some of the changes have the potential to create a greater impact on the overall game, and some are tweaks to existing laws.  I think there are some that will cause a good few arguments on the village green – so advise any umpires / clubs to have a copy of the updated laws with them on the field, or at the least, at the ground!  But that assumes the batsmen/bowlers actually know the Laws in the first place…

Dismissals

You will no longer be able to collect your honorary Graham Gooch award and be given out for handling the ball.  This mode of dismissal has been removed; however if a batsman were to handle the ball, they can instead be given out for obstructing the field – so don’t go willy-nilly handling your balls without invitation…

So there are now nine modes of dismissal, can you name them (no Googling at the back)?  I’ve been out to five of them I think.

Law 5

Everyone who has played club cricket will know that one batsman who has a ridiculous, massive, too heavy bat which they can only just lift, but when they do make contact the ball disappears (it’s just all too infrequent).  Well now the MCC have decided that batsmen have been riding their luck with too many top edges for six.

Now the batsmen must have a bat that fits within a certain size range – however it can still be as heavy as they want, so I don’t know what impact that might have as there will still be heavy bats that impart significant energy onto the ball (equal and opposite reaction and all that).  They will just be made with denser willow.

I believe they had a panel that reviewed the impact bat size made on scores etc.  How they did this I don’t know given there are many other variables in play at the same time.

I personally think too many dead wickets are to blame, as well as too many fielding restrictions and the whole two balls in play at once (for ODIs).  You could also make an argument for the increased protection of batsmen (better pads/helmets etc) as well as fitter batsmen also impacting on higher scores.

Batsmen are still going to hit big sixes, and they are still going to get lucky edges that fly away to the boundary.

Law 8.3.4

This is an interesting one.

This law allows for the placement of a tether between the bails and stumps.  I guess this is to try and prevent eye injuries to wicketkeepers (or slip fielders?).

It does not appear to be a mandatory law, just allowing for the provision subject to the relevant Governing Body.  I doubt we will see this filtering into general play, but I could foresee it in the professional game county game, but perhaps not in international cricket.  Although would it reduce the spectacle of ‘bails flying’?

My guess is that a lawyer somewhere said that the MCC have a liability because the previous law prohibited any tether/3rd component and without this law they would actually be restricting a potentially injury preventing system.

Law 21

This one has been amended to state that the ball may only bounce once (before it reaches the opposite popping crease) after being bowled.

It’s a simple change that is standard in professional cricket.  The update makes a comment about ‘competent recreational cricket’, they have obviously not seen me playing in the seconds –  I might need to practice my bowling a bit more if I want to avoid racking up those no balls!

It could cause a few arguments for those who don’t know about the change and have always ‘got away with it’, or it may just bring a couple of umpires I know of into line with the Laws rather than their interpretation of them…

Law 24

A substitute fielder can now keep wicket if needed.  I guess this is a result of the role being seen as a specialist position that could lead to injury if a non-keeper took up the gloves.

While not relevant to village cricket (we struggle to get ten, let alone having a twelfth man who is an expert wicket keeper), I can see this on the international stage for sure (if the ICC playing regulations bring it in).

I don’t know how this affects the batting order, but I assume that whomever was named in the original starting 11 would be expected to bat and if incapable, you only have nine wickets.

Again, it may be a liability thing, (someone who is not a keeper getting injured because the MCC not allowing a specialist substitute) but it would keep the big game spectacle because you are not having to ‘make do’ with a part timer.

Law 30

One for the TV more than the village green I think.

A running or diving batsman who grounds his bat, but it then bounces up will not be given out.  The key is it has to be a diving/forward momentum (i.e. you could still be stumped if you ‘wobble’ forward, but if running in you are fine).

On the flip side, if a batsman has grounded his bat but lifts (and comes out of his crease) it to take ‘evasive action’ he is not out.

This brings to mind Cooks only Test run out.  India, 3rd day at Eden Gardens, Kolkata in 2012.

Cook, only just out of his ground, took evasive action to avoid a throw at the stumps by Kohli.  The problem was that he had not grounded his bat in the first place before moving.  If he had just allowed himself to be hit, he would be fine (as he did not make a deliberate attempt to block the ball), If he had grounded his bat, and then moved – he would have been fine as well.

As it was, it was his only run out dismissal apparently.

Law 41

There have been a number of changes to Law 41, mostly tweaks but some good/bigger ones.  This law deals with fair and unfair play. 

Law 41.8

Check your betting slips…

This law make it an offense to bowl deliberate front foot no balls (good job Kieron Pollard did it already….).  If caught, then you will be suspended from bowling.

I doubt we will ever see this in a live game.  What umpire is going to know if a no ball is deliberate or not?

I’ve seen some doosies just from regular village play!!

Law 41.15

Batsmen cannot “take a stance where they will inevitably encroach on the protected area.”

I assume this means they cannot bat 4ft out of their crease (the protected area starting 5ft in front of the popping crease).  I guess that when a batsman runs down the wicket to a spinner, it’s still ok though as they are going through the motion of taking a shot.

I know what some of our (my village that is) bowlers would do if they saw someone batting that far out!

Law 41.16

This is a good one and bound to cause a few arguments.

Ever heard of “Mankading”?  Yup, the one that causes all the arguments.  The one where Butler was run out for leaving his crease early (correctly, under the previous law 41.15).

There, my cards are on the table.

Well, Law 41.16 explicitly deals with this and I present the full law below;

If the non-striker is out of his/her ground from the moment the ball comes into play to the instant when the bowler would normally have been expected to release the ball, the bowler is permitted to attempt to run him/her out. Whether the attempt is successful or not, the ball shall not count as one in the over.

 If the bowler fails in an attempt to run out the non-striker, the umpire shall call and signal Dead ball as soon as possible.

The ball ‘comes into play’ as the bowler begins his run up, so the bowler can remove the bails at any point up to delivering the ball and if the non-striker is out his ground, then he is gone.

Previously the ‘run out’ had to be performed prior to the bowler entering his delivery stride, but it was basically the same, they can just pull out before delivering

In other words, get back into the crease you cheating batsman, or I’ll have ya!

I expect many arguments to ensue over how this is against the spirit of the game, while ignoring the batsman stealing yards being against the ‘spirit’ instead.

Law 42

This law is the meaty new one (and thus is also the largest explanation).  While there were 42 Laws previously, the juggling has made room for a new law to be made, while keeping it at 42.

This Law is a conduct Law, and allows for in-match consequences for poor behaviour.  It’s probably also the one that will cause most arguments if attempted on the village green – so I don’t expect to see much of it happening.

There are 4 ‘levels’ of offence and it is the umpires’ discretion as to which level the offence falls into.  First the penalties:

Level 1: Warning (first offence) then 5 penalty runs to the opposition for a repeat offence.

Level 2: 5 Penalty runs to the opposition.

Level 3: Offending player is suspended for a number of overs (10 overs in normal cricket, 1/5th of the innings overs in limited overs cricket), depending on the length of the match, plus 5 Penalty runs to the opposition.

Level 4: Offending player is removed from the field for the rest of the match, plus 5 Penalty runs to the opposition.

Level 1 offences:

– Wilfully mistreating any part of the cricket ground, equipment or implements used in the match (Broad kicking a lump out of the Headingley wicket anyone?)

– showing dissent at an umpire’s decision by word or action (most of my team when I’m umpiring)

– using language that, in the circumstances, is obscene, offensive or insulting (me when I’m umpiring)

– making an obscene gesture

– appealing excessively (Shamsi in the CPL final anyone – if you have not seen it look it up)

– advancing towards an umpire in an aggressive manner when appealing any other misconduct, the nature of which is, in the opinion of the umpires, equivalent to a Level 1 offence.

Level 2 offences

Showing serious dissent at an umpire’s decision by word or action

– making inappropriate and deliberate physical contact with another player

– throwing the ball at a player, umpire or another person in an inappropriate and dangerous manner

– using language or gesture to another player, umpire, team official or spectator that, in the circumstances, is obscene or of a serious insulting nature

– or any other misconduct, the nature of which is, in the opinion of the umpires, equivalent to a Level 2 offence.

Level 3 offences

– intimidating an umpire by language or gesture

– threatening to assault a player or any other person except an umpire. See Law 42.5.1.

Level 4 offences

– threatening to assault an umpire

– making inappropriate and deliberate physical contact with an umpire

– physically assaulting a player or any other person

– committing any other act of violence.

No substitutes are allowed, and if the fielder is removed before batting (or a batsman removed) under a level 4 offence, then they are deemed ‘retired – out’.  So a double punishment if you are that naughty while fielding in the first innings.

I do look forward to amateur umpires kicking people out of games.  I can see that going really well.

Summary

So broadly speaking I think the changes to the laws make things more comparable to the professional/international game.

Some changes are logical and won’t cause any arguments, however other ones have the potential to wind up some batsmen/fielders who aren’t up to speed with the changes.

There are plenty of other smaller tweaks and amendments that I’ve not got to so I heartily recommend having a read of the Laws and the accompanying ‘explanation’ booklet – if you want something that is just a confusing self-referential nightmare to read that is.  I mean seriously, who needs to offer a second document to actually explain the first one.  Just make the first one easier to read.

Follow Andy on Twitter:  @oshodisa or add your comments below as he’ll be around from time to time to answer any queries!