Let’s do the live blog on it we’ve threatened! If you want over by over, go to the Guardian. If you want ball by ball go to Cricinfo.
But if you want general rambles and a chat below, we might just be the place.
12:47 – 45 minutes to go. There’s team news before too long. Go and check the other places if you want to know what they are.
13:09 – so England win the toss again and will field. Oh and umpire Shamshuddin has stood down from the field and will be third umpire. OK, some of the decisions he made were pretty poor, but the moment you start using umpiring decisions as an excuse, then you just sound Australian. Like Denis (one n) basically. Mistakes happen, and sometimes teams get the rough end of it. I can’t abide the whining.
13:27 – is there anyone, anyone at all, that thinks national anthems before a cricket match is a good idea?
13:36 – Running because you’ve got a big lbw appeal against you. I’ve done that. Difference being at this level they actually hit the stumps.
13:56 – One of the joys of T20 is how the commentators have gone on about how well England have bowled. So they have. But it’s still 8 an over India are going at after 5.
14:05 – not being any kind of bowler whatsoever, I’ve always wondered what they’re thinking when they see the ball go out of the ground like that. “Try it again then mate”, or “Ohgodohgodohgod”.
14:13 – Just three off that Stokes over. He’s got his career economy rate down to 9 with that.
14:16 – Just three of that Moeen over too. That’s the trouble with T20, these quiet middle overs…
14:26 – Ooh Adil Rashid’s getting a bowl!
14:35 – 120-3 off 13.3, it’s going to be a big score. Stokes’ wicket of Rahul turned out to be an unseen no-ball. It’ll be interesting to see if England mention that afterwards. Somehow you’d think not.
14:48 – It could be me, or it could be that it’s midweek, or it could be that it’s T20, or it could be a combination of all three. But it’s very quiet out there.
15:03 – Every chance of getting over 200, and every chance England can get them. Well that’s what people like to see, six after six after six. Bowlers are reduced to being there merely to serve the ball.
15:13 – 202-6. It’s a big score, but it’s also one that with the pitch is gettable. Whether they will or not…but I think they might do it.
15:36 – So I go for a quick shower between innings (I’ve been to the gym, I’ve not just got out of bed) and I find that I miss Sam Billings’ innings. He’s useless on Cricket Captain 2016 too by the way.
15:46 – I should clarify that on the rare occasions any captain was stupid/mad/drunk/mischievous enough to let me bowl, most balls did disappear out of the ground. In fact there’s one player I know of who hit the only sixes in his life off me. Three of them. He mentions it often. Tosser.
15:51 – I appear to be more optimistic than some. England are on track here, 55-1 from the first six overs. Jason Roy is going well, and so is Joe Root. Strike rate of 142 at the moment
15:51.2 – Roy out. Shut up TLG.
15:56 – Mind you it was a really hideous shot. He makes a habit of getting in and getting out.
15:57 – Most important question of the day is whether this will be finished in time for Pointless.
16:01 – Required run rate now over 11.50 an over. Which is of course preposterous to anyone who grew up watching games where the moment the rate went over 6, it was trouble.
16:04 – I’m not sure I want to field at slip when someone reverse sweeps it. Or keeper when they ramp/scoop it.
16:11 – The half way point and England are 86-2. Decent start, but they are probably at the “need a big over” stage.
16:16 – This whole idea works best if you read it in a Big Brother Geordie accent.
16:22 – Huge over, Morgan smacking three sixes off Raina. Joe Root scored two singles.
16:25 – Root is all over the place. Dropped, playing and missing, and seemingly unable to keep up with the required rate. It’s a good over all right, but it’s so rare to see him out of his comfort zone – usually he’s too comfortable and gets himself out. Here, Root – Joe Root! – appears to be an impediment to England winning the game, rather than an asset.
16:32 – Morgan and Root out in successive balls, and needing 14 an over, that’s a bit much most likely.
16:42 – This is an impressive collapse even by England standards.
15:45 – Seven wickets in 17 balls. That’s actually really hard to do. Oh it’s eight in 19 balls. Honestly, even if you’re trying to get out, that’s tough. Genuinely impressed.
As abject a collapse as you could wish to see just about summed up an Indian tour that amounted to England winning just two games out of eleven, and being beaten in the T20 series, the ODI series and battered in the Test series. While England were certainly under pressure with the run rate climbing, it was still a quite astounding slump from a position where they had a chance to all out.
They’ll be looking forward to getting on the plane home, and quite frankly a lot of people will be relieved it’s all over. Let’s look forward to the completely pointless West Indies ODI tour.