After this week, if you can give a flying one about this match then good on you.
Because I don’t. Not today. I will be at one of my best mate’s leaving do and will not be watching a single ball of this. The game will not merit a mention at the do. I will check in to see how this is rumbling on, but even then, I’m not sure that I’ll have anything to say.
However, TLG advises me that he’ll be watching, so he’ll help you through the day. I’ve a lot spinning around in my head to write but I need to think a bit more.
But please, please, please. Don’t let me stop you. Comment away.
“This is not what you wanted. Nor what you had in mind” Moderat.
Being Outside Cricket 
We could see SA make 500 here today.
Not a day to be a bowler.
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I’ll laugh my socks off if this is 180 all out plays 181-9.
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England doing all they can to make it a 180 all out score for you!!!😉
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You’ve got to feel sorry for Woakes, and Broad, for various reasons. Carrying drinks, told you are not part of the T20 jamboree and then told to go out and bowl on this potential belter.
Absolutely no reason to play Broad. The chance was the last ODI.
The only reason I see Woakes being the cannon fodder here is to protect the T20 selectors for picking his rivals, particularly Jordan, who has been dross with the ball this series. I would’ve told them to piss off. He’s gonna get smashed. He’s not good enough.
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And to add, Willey and Jordan need the cricket under their belts.
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For all of that, and I’ve not been at all convinced of Woakes, he’s had a fine game today so far.
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Well, people may think this is premature, but congratulations England for winning the series. Mind you, you’ll only have to face three bowlers all innings, and then belt away 20 overs from Duminy, Morris, Behardien and Wiese.
Brilliant from the selectors. It is hard to make worse decisions, but each subsequent game, the selectors are plumbing new depths. Well done.
Has Ryan McLaren changed nationality to England or something?
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I want to know if Rabada has any British heritage, tbf.
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Interesting to note, that the England players all lost their wickets to the full time bowlers.
The “allrounders” are on 5/323 at the moment in the series. Honestly, at an economy over 6 / an over. Now, I know that that includes the 399/9, but still …If you don’t threaten to take wickets, then you’ll go for runs in the format now.
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Camera has picked up Bairstow and Morkel sitting together on sidelines chatting away. Our Director Comma can’t be happy. At least they aren’t texting.
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Traitors. Just like Botham sitting and chatting with Viv and Joel all through the 80s.
And I wonder if Both ever said nasty things about his England teammates and captain to Viv?
Course not. Both would never, ever do a thing like that, over a G&T, while puffing on a.. cigarette.
All of em T.R.A.I.T.O.R.S. anyway.
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Lillie and Thomosn and Marsh bet against themselves in the famous 1981 test when they got odds of 500-1 against. Nothing happened to them. Marsh is a selector now. Thank God they couldn’t text anyone!
Can you imagine if KP had done that? Hung drawn and quartered?
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Don’t be daft Mark – you can turn your back on your country, go and tour apartheid South Africa for money and still be welcomed back into the fold. If you’re the right kind of person.
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Gatting, pointing: Ian, I want to know EVERY SINGLE WORD you said to Viv
Both: (((PUNCH)))
THE NEXT DAY
Press: Mike, where exactly did the ball hit you?
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Here are some pics of Gatting pointing..
Happy days!
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From the Telegraph at the time……
“Gatings PR was ham-fisted from the start. When protests at Johannesburg Airport were cleared away with the aid of dogs, whips and tear gas, he came out with an absurdly inadequate response.”
“As far as I’m concerned,” he said, “there were a few people singing and dancing and that was it.”
As John Emburey put it at the time, “Gatt has never been any good at making public statements.”
I still can’t forgive Gatting for pissing way the World Cup final in 1987. England were cruising until He tried to reverse hit Border first ball.
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Oops. England demonstrating their collapsing skills.
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That’s from me.
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A sorry epitaph.
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A jolly good catchphrase.
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Sorry Dmitri, couldn’t remember where it came from!
It’s a phrase that… comes in useful.
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Do you remember now Zeph?
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Another hundred for Root, sadly probably in a losing cause again. No real demons in the pitch, it’ll need a Trent Bridge-esque spell from Broad.
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He’s just gone for 109.
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All out for 262 after 47.5. Might be a good laptop score, but well below par IMHO. SA have bowled and caught well, look out for Amla’s catch to get rid of Stokes. Morgan Stokes Buttler and Mo all out for single figure scores. That I suspect is where this match has been lost.
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Amla gone early b Broad. 2-1. Just the start we needed
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Stop press:- The Daily Mail has just broke the story that the ECB has bollocksed up the Waitrose sponsorship, and are now pulling out! Sorry I can ‘t post the link as I’m on my new tablet and still trying to get to grips with it!!
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I know Dave……
They are probably now going to go with Lidl. Poor old Alice will have to slum it.
They might as well go with Deutsche Bank. I mean, they only have about $50 trillion in derivatives exposure. What could possibly go wrong?
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VW would be good. We know how trustworthy they are
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Trench Capital Partners. They’ll buy your Stanford International Bank claims.
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Hey, Stanford? That’s one for the teenages Dmitri.
Or Bernnie Made off with it all……..
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The floodlights have just gone out!
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They’re coming back on so not much of a delay
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Keep your eyes peeled for any of the companies mentioned here making a last minute bid. If our old friend Giles does indeed have little time left at the ECB, I wouldn’t be shocked if he tried to go out in style…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giles_Clarke#Business_career
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Sounds like brilliantly profession and highly experienced management by the ECB, as always. One might almost be tempted to say that they handled the Waitrose negotiations with aplomb. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/article-3442996/England-cricket-lose-sponsor-Waitrose-supermarket-chain-checks-ECB-deal.html
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“And they were not impressed that the ECB allegedly hired agency TRM Partners to find new backers before they had officially said they were not going to extend the deal.”
If only the ECB had gotten their pals Selvey, Pringle et al to brief against Waitrose during negotiations, that might have helped. No?
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Yeah, that’s just a plain daft move on the ECB’s part. They’ve made a complete horlicks of this, (although perhaps that’s not a major shock in the grand scheme of things).
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In breaking news, from 2017 England are to be sponsored by the BCCI in tests and the Chennai Super Kings in T20s.
Regarding the Test sponsorship, former BCCI chairman N. Srinivasan said “We’ve been looking for a team in tests that can build the brand of world-wide domination better than our test team currently can. Sadly, however, the Australians are being sponsored by rancid piss-water that they claim is beer so we’ve got to go with some posh blokes and their northern work-horses.”
When asked about the sponsorship of the T20 squad, Mr N. Srinivasan, owner of the now-banned team, went on record saying “when it comes to the core principles of avarice, infighting and stupid clothing you could do much worse than choosing 11 blokes wearing the Dutch team’s hand-me-downs.
The ODI squad is currently seeking a sponsor, apparently the ECB thought it had negotiated a deal with India Cements but last night the company’s owner, a Mr N Srinivasan, rubbished the idea. “Look at how England’s one day team collapses,” he said, “their middle order crumbles like cheap houses in a hurricane. No construction company can risk being associated with a team like that.”
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Love it Alec!
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I’m on it being Coutts, Fortnum & Mason or Barbour. Maybe we’ll find out first in the Horse & Hound, or Country Life.
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Faf nailed by a jaffa from Woakes. 62-3
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Top 3 gone, now let’s see what the bits and pieces players (and AB) can do. This is England’s game to lose now.
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A couple of drops, one Duminy off Woakes by Hales and De Villiers (ouch!) off Broad by Roy and there could yet be another twist to this game.
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Simon Mann, and I quote: “down the pitch and smacks the number one ranked test bowler over his head for 6. Great cricket”.
Excuse me while I get all misty-eyed and wistful for what we’re missing.
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Oh yeah added to that Stokes was very unlucky not to pin Duminy with an lbw. It was ‘umpires call’ but really looked dead in real time. Since then Broad has been smacked for a couple of boundaries and the game looks in the balance again.
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AB run out, and now the “allrounders” will fail miserably. Duminy is batting way too high, and has not looked comfortable at all.
Credit to the South African selectors, who make the ECB look like strategic geniuses in their dealings with Waitrose.
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David Wiese’s was one of the most brainless dismissals imaginable in an ODI.
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Morris plays a gem of an innings, but he can’t see South Africa home.
1 wicket left, 1 run to win, and Tahir is coming out … and wins it for South Africa.
This has been a real steal, and England will wonder how they lost this.
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