Required Moods Of The Day

wallpaper smiley face (4)

If, for some reason, you don’t feel this way, this is required.


So, for the hell of it, I thought, why not put this up

Read the thread.


43 thoughts on “Required Moods Of The Day

    • LordCanisLupus Aug 9, 2015 / 11:54 am

      There was no “treachery”, they just decided to stop working with an ageing prima donna who’s scales – like always happens with prima donnas – had tipped from “so talented as to be worth the grief” to “so much grief we no longer care about the talent”.

      The actual disgrace was not Kevin Pietersen so much as the behaviour of those of his supporters and disciples of Piers Morgan who believed him to be bigger than the team, hurled abuse at anyone who disagreed, and in particular waged a malicious and personal hate campaign against Alistair Cook, who (they all chose to forget) had made his first task as captain to get the man re-instated after his behaviour towards Cook’s predecessor. Perhaps, had Pietersen himself made it clear that they spoke on his behalf but not in his name it would be easier to forgive him.

      The lesson of Kevin Pietersen’s demise is that no one is ever bigger than the team and being selected to play for your country (perhaps even more so for your adopted country) is an honour, not an entitlement. And that’s how it should be.

      I’ll type it out so you don’t have to click.

      Feel free to send me similar egregious articles.


    • LordCanisLupus Aug 9, 2015 / 12:34 pm


      The same individual said this;

      In which case, the point where everyone forgot it was earlier in the season when we were all telling each other how this “very poor” England side (based on an irrelevant 50 over tournament) was going to get mauled 5-0 again by the “World Class” Australians and the brilliance of Steve Smith and Mitchell Johnson in particular.

      The World Cup. Irrelevant. Even Strauss won’t countenance that.

      If he claims ODI form is irrelevant, even Cook and Broad say that’s horseshit. Positive cricket etc…..


      • Arron Wright Aug 9, 2015 / 2:11 pm

        Here’s me thinking that lovers of New England were placing far too *much* emphasis on an ODI series between England and irrelevant World Cup runners-up New Zealand, who had smashed us to bits in 14 overs or whatever it was in the irrelevant World Cup. I can’t keep up.

        It’s “disciples of Piers Morgan” that got me more than anything though. Has it never, ever occurred to these goons that if Morgan did not exist there would still be hundreds, probably thousands, of fans who felt exactly the same about the situation? Apart from a couple of radio interviews, Morgan barely had any profile during the textgate business, and yet loads of the same “mob” were still steaming angry. And, then as February 2014 as now, there’s just as much of an agenda (if not more) among those writing to shore up Alastair Cook and some of their old cronies.


      • Mark Aug 9, 2015 / 2:55 pm

        What Morgan did Arron was provide a Twitter feed for many who where frozen out by the MSM. They hate him for that. The English are vey conservative. They like everything done by the book. Morgan was not a selector ,so he should know his place. English cricket likes order, and hates those that don’t obey.. They hated Tony Greig when he went off to Packer nearly 40 years ago. They hate Death of a gentleman because it dares to question the elite. And boy did Ed Smith reveal his true agenda with his 20 minute break down on TMS

        I’m just revelling in their bitterness and giant circle jerk today. It’s really funny. They are celebrating like VE Day and Trafalgar day combined for a victory against the worst Australian touring team of my life time. Just as well Rooney didn’t break his leg in yesterday’s opener or they would have been wiped off the back pages

        What I Am Particlarly saviouring is how much they hate us. This is particularly delicious. Because they keep saying we are a tiny minority of no importance. So why all the bitterness? Because we obviously got to them. The bile today just proves that.

        And their beloved Cook has contributed virtually nothing in this series. His 96 (the grestest non 100 ever scored cough cough) at Lords achieved nothing. His captaincy has been easy with bowlers in form in helpful conditions. Joe Root could have captained this win. Dam it, any of the other 10 could have done the job. My goldfish could have done the job. And we wouldn’t have wasted 18 months.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. paulewart Aug 9, 2015 / 11:50 am

    The words clueless and fuckwittery spring to mind.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Arron Wright Aug 9, 2015 / 12:00 pm

    Uh oh: Selvey and Newman both praising an article from The Essayist Also Known As FICJAM, which sounds like it’s about Cook’s wonderful captaincy and causes a Twitter respondent to say “Piers Morgan should hang his head in shame”.

    Think it might be the article in this photo:

    Liked by 1 person

    • Arron Wright Aug 9, 2015 / 12:02 pm

      Jesus Christ it’s bad. He’s crediting Paul fucking Downton.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Arron Wright Aug 9, 2015 / 12:04 pm

        And rounded off with a reference to the mob. Perfect FICJAM.

        Jim Holden, you just lost your title mate.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Arron Wright Aug 9, 2015 / 12:09 pm

        I see it’s already being debated/lapped up by some of the typically nuanced people on Twitter (and no I’m not sarcastically referring to the admirable Lizzy there):


      • Arron Wright Aug 9, 2015 / 12:11 pm

        The Moore/Lizzy thread is a must-click for anyone who thinks Dmitri is wrong about the last 18 months, by the way.


      • LordCanisLupus Aug 9, 2015 / 12:19 pm

        Crediting Downton (who might well have backed him as captain of Middlesex when he was on their committee, I believe) for obeying the orders set down by Giles Clarke? The hero. That World Cup never happened?

        Liked by 1 person

      • BoerInAustria Aug 9, 2015 / 12:54 pm

        Rob Shepherd – A real man then…


    • thebogfather Aug 9, 2015 / 12:06 pm

      Arron, you b’tard, you just made me click the link and thus ruined my (no test match) sunday…:)


      • thebogfather Aug 9, 2015 / 12:11 pm

        I did tweet Freddie last night that he may need to get his dictionary out if FICJAM responded to his tweet, seems like Selfry and newman have got their dicks out (shorter versions)


        • LordCanisLupus Aug 9, 2015 / 12:24 pm

          There’s entitled to be some celebration. I can’t help but think that to say there shouldn’t be is self-defeating. But deep down, we stick to our guns. The game is more than these short-term highs.


      • thebogfather Aug 9, 2015 / 12:34 pm

        Dmitri – yes celebrate a win, I have (as such), but with this ‘homie series’ and the lack of pre-tour matches, it’s all been bound in knots to provide ‘home-side viewer’ quick relief masturbation.
        I just want a contest, not match by match slaughter…


      • Arron Wright Aug 9, 2015 / 1:30 pm

        Of course. But this isn’t celebration: it’s old boys, score-settling, mad revisionism, tabloid pigeonholing. It’s exactly why we keep watching the cricket media and writing about it,

        Liked by 2 people

      • Larry David Niven Aug 9, 2015 / 1:48 pm

        Can someone explain FICJAM? I haven’t been here since the start. Ta.


        • LordCanisLupus Aug 9, 2015 / 1:51 pm

          Ed Smith, an intellectual, an essayist, a man who puts his edification out there for all to see, and revels in his superiority is known as FICJAM.

          Fuck I’m Clever, Just Ask Me.

          KP was known as FIGJAM by the Aussies, with the g meaning either great or good. It seems nice to keep that theme going for a man who had his arse handed him to him by Jarrod and Sam on Thursday.

          Liked by 2 people

      • Larry David Niven Aug 9, 2015 / 1:56 pm



  3. thebogfather Aug 9, 2015 / 12:02 pm

    Hey, get it right, he’s known as Ali now…presumably to be aligned with ‘Mohammed’ from the mountains (sheep slaughtering division), and remember this too, it is the chinese year of the Sheep you inadequates…something must be done (12-bore)


  4. Mark Aug 9, 2015 / 12:12 pm

    Which only goes to prove it was always they who were obsessed with KP. He was like crack cocaine to the simpletons. They couldn’t leave him alone. They still can’t. While demanding we all stop talking about KP they do nothing but poke and prod at the memory of KP. Even the bitter Cricketer magazine in the heat of victory had to post Kevin who? Just one more hit for the addicts.

    But in the orgy of self congratulation this was the worst batting Australian team I have ever seen. They were slightly unlucky to lose Ryan Harris at the start. And if Root had been caught at Cardiff, and Aus had gone 1 up, to be followed by two up at Lords who knows what would have happened? but all series are ifs and maybes

    What this series showed is cricket has now been condensed into a product to be packaged and sold. The customers need their sugar hits. And the customers are the home fans. So one sided matches that finish in just over 2 days as long as the home side wins are just what the doctor ordered. This will of course only lead to Aus preparing pithces to suit themselves even more in 2 years time. Give your customers what they want. And what they want is victory rather the quality.

    The winter tours will be played down now by the in house ECB media. We set sail for non big 3 teams and so they can be ignored. (See Selveys comic tweet about the best young batsman in the world) All that matters now is home Ashes for glory, and India for the cash.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Sherwick Aug 9, 2015 / 12:30 pm

      To be fair, the Aussies did prepare pitches for their bowlers last time around.
      Bowling first in the last 2 tests was also critical.
      From what I’m seeing, despite the Ashes victory, the English cricket public is still a bit split – bitterly split too. I don’t think that’s ever going away. After 40+ years of wanting us to win everything, I admit that I wanted us to lose and for Strauss and Cook (and Flower, Whitaker and Clarke) to leave with egg on their faces. I admit it.
      It didn’t happen and I am not happy.
      I am still bitter.
      Still, I’m sure that those who are happy with events and/or winning the Ashes & looking forward, (in particular youngsters watching their first Ashes victory), constitute a large enough core to take England forward.
      I wish them well.
      Personally, I will be an outsider forever more.
      I had my fun, my time in the sun, and what a hoot it was! Randall, Hendrik, Botham, Willis, Brearley, Dilley, Gatting, Tavare, Robin Smith, Lamb, Atherton, Stewart, Malcolm, Vaughan, Flintoff, Jones, Harmon, KP… What memories! I don’t regret it. Not for one minute!

      Liked by 2 people

      • Mark Aug 9, 2015 / 1:08 pm

        I’m not sure the the Aussie pitches were that unusual from normal in 2013. There is always pace and bounce at the WACA. Aus won there is 3 days on the 2011 series when Cook was supposed to be a god like figure.

        They haven’t lost at Brisbane in the opener for decades.

        But this is going to make sure they produce even more Quick bouncy pitches. It’s an ever decreasing circle. But as Colin Graves has said he wants 4 days tests perhaos this is the plan.


  5. Sherwick Aug 9, 2015 / 12:15 pm

    I am, most definitely, outside cricket.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. thebogfather Aug 9, 2015 / 12:28 pm

    Sherwick, soon there’ll be no true cricket to be outside of. The ICC3/TV monopolies/In-bred media allowance of reality. Soon we’ll have cricket’s version of WWE (or whatever it’s called), and then what is left will be bish-bang 10/10 with bowling machines and ‘Maximum 12’s when a (placed by the TV company) catches the ball ‘in the arena’… (oh for the days of Mick Mcmanus, Jackie Pallo and Johnny Briggs…) ๐Ÿ™‚


    • Sherwick Aug 9, 2015 / 12:32 pm

      I’ve replied to Mark’s post above to expand on my ‘outside’ comment..


  7. Mark Aug 9, 2015 / 12:37 pm

    Brian Moore is a funny chap. A rare species, A hooker who has a brain.. At least he used to.

    Of course it completely escapes Moore that Cook has had absolutely no influence on the changes. Downton kept him on because Cook was the ECBs empty suit. And we then wasted 18 months. Only when Cook was finally removed from the ODI captaincy (against Downtons wishes and too late for the World Cup) did we get any change in style, attitude or younger players.

    As usual the empty suit Cook and his sycohants give credit to the wrong people. The change in English crickets style happened while dear old shep was on the farm still begrudging his removal from the ODI team. A breath of fresh air was ushered into English cricket at the beginning of the summer while all Cook could smell was sheep shit on his farm.Perhaps Mr Moore missed this small detail. I hope he is better reading the fine prints on his law work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Larry David Niven Aug 9, 2015 / 1:55 pm

      Another alleged anti-establishment figure who, like Gower, has fallen in lock step with the party line. Although having followed Moore’s writing since he retired, it wouldn’t surprise me if his position evolved from the first principle of hating Piers Morgan.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. SimonH Aug 9, 2015 / 2:38 pm

    I posted some stats about home wins at the end of the previous thread. Here are the figures for away defeats which show the same trend:

    60s 31% (57/186)
    70s 35% (69/198)
    80s 33% (87/266)
    90s 41% (142/346)
    00s 46% (213/459)
    10s 48% (101/211 so far)

    So, for three decades away teams regularly lost about a third of the games (which with three possible results seems to me where it should be) but the last three decades have seen a drift upwards to a situation where away teams lose virtually half their matches.


    • d'Arthez Aug 9, 2015 / 3:55 pm

      Was it not in 2013 that no side lost a Test at home barring Zim?


  9. Mark Aug 9, 2015 / 3:07 pm

    I wonder how much of that is to do with pitches, and more about the shorter nature of tours these days.

    It’s ironic that since the move to air travel where teams can jet in and jet out without much preparation the results have worsened for the away team. You can’t blame the players for wanting shorter tours in today’s over crowded fixture lists. 4 day tests await?


    • thebogfather Aug 9, 2015 / 3:21 pm

      Mark, see my pome from t’other day, shortened tours in same days, no preparation, yet home side glee, screw cricket lovers, it’s a media wank, collectively…jobsworths without reason, governing bodies in pocket filling, game killing, treason… I so hope DOAG hangs them high


      • Mark Aug 9, 2015 / 3:44 pm

        It’s called progress I’m afraid Bogfather.

        When they move to 4 day tests that only last 3 days, they can double the ticket prices, and have 7 test match series.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. SimonH Aug 9, 2015 / 4:29 pm

    Gratuitous sideswipe at Craig McDermott in Selvey’s latest. Australia’s bowling has disappointed in parts this series but it takes something to identify the bowling coach as one of the main culprits for their defeat.

    If Australia’s bowlers didn’t always hit an English length perhaps it wasn;t the coach’s fault….. It has been suggested that some bowlers have simply stopped listening, mentally turning off when he speaks. If so, then they are the foolish ones.

    Or that’s what it would be if the coach was Selvey’s mate…… By the way, has anyone else noticed the transformation in Root dates from Gooch’s departure?

    Is there any left from the ‘difficult winter’ for Selvey to have a go at? The curator at the Gabba perhaps? A ball-boy at the MCG? A waitress who made a mess of serving the vol-au-vents on day two in Adelaide?


    • Arron Wright Aug 9, 2015 / 5:58 pm

      The gall is truly remarkable. “Mortal blows” as well – he does like his death stuff, doesn’t he?


    • paulewart Aug 9, 2015 / 7:29 pm

      He’s lobbying for his mate David, who is clearly far too good for state cricket.


    • metatone Aug 9, 2015 / 8:48 pm

      Australia didn’t bowl particularly badly.
      (Although they didn’t bowl well.
      If they had batten even half decently in English conditions, the games would have been much closer – and indeed, we might be at 2-2…


  11. man in a barrel Aug 11, 2015 / 8:51 pm

    English openers scored 309 runs at 22. Highly impressive.

    Nos 3-5 scored 812 runs at 45. But Rooty scored 443 of them. Nothing to be concerned about.

    Our number 8 is our second highest scorer after Root – Ali got 228,with the immortal Cooky on 223.

    We must have a batting line-up to scare the world.


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