West Indies v England, 2nd Test, day 5

Chances are, at the end of today the match will be drawn. And that would mean after two Tests of a must win series, it’s 0-0. There’ll be some uncomfortable shifting going on.

Yesterday evening Sky kept on and on with constant references to how Cook had done “alright” in the field as captain. And that’s true, he was indeed alright. But that’s a pretty damning verdict on his abilities when doing alright invites so much comment. In trying to praise him it merely highlights that they think he’s terrible the rest of the time.

The West Indies have been fantastic this match. They scored nigh on 300 in the toughest batting conditions of the game – for all the moaning about the pitch, England bowled poorly and missed their chance – and have shown considerable skill yesterday. Brathwaite to me looks to have a tiny bit of Dravid in his style.

Assuming it’s a draw, I’ll be playing Excuses Bingo later.

Since you seem to miss it when it’s not there….comments below!


136 thoughts on “West Indies v England, 2nd Test, day 5

  1. thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 9:16 am

    Ah, excuses bingo – where the MSM come up with ‘Two Little Ducks’ all of any relevance…


  2. SimonH Apr 25, 2015 / 10:00 am

    A quick wicket and it could yet be a thrilling day. New ball…. Chanderpaul looks like age might have finally overtaken him…… Blackwood can always self-destruct…… Ramdin and Holder can’t do it again surely…… .

    Or not, probably.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 10:14 am

    It could yet be the ‘due’ day… having been left 200 to win in 40, Cook sees us nearly home, but not quite – (damn soft balls/slow pitch/outfield/WI lucky/why didn’t Root score 150 when it’s really needed…etc etc etc) with a ‘leading from the front, looking good’ 38* off 98 balls….

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 10:25 am

      …or we might get an early finish with WI declaring on 450 -4 as the last half hour starts and Eng down to 2 fit bowlers (Broad gone in the 79mph fetlock, Moeen banished to Cookie’s ‘bad-spinner’ corner, Stokes smashed fist through picture of Samuels at tea, only to find his locker wasn’t open, Jimmy having a strop at everyone…)


    • SimonH Apr 25, 2015 / 11:15 am

      It would be fascinating to see what England do if West Indies are bowled out leaving a target that is just within the borders of possibility. Something like 200 required off 30 overs, perhaps?

      “Here come the England openers…….”. Who would it be, and who should it be?


    • Elaine Simpson-Long Apr 25, 2015 / 12:41 pm

      and there are a lot of positive to be taken from this match
      but I just have to check the data

      OK I know this response is getting overworked but I guarantee somebody will say that.
      One of the reasons I do not want Cook to be captain any more, apart from those already expressed by all and sundry, is that it means we will not have to listen to any more of his excruciating chats with the press/pundits. Though I usually mute them anyway

      Liked by 1 person

      • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 12:52 pm

        Thank you Elaine. I’d oust him for this reason alone. If he’s been media-trained what the heckdoes media-training actually do? Rinse yer brain leaving only the hellish management lingo available?

        Very glad Joe Root did so well with the bat but I lived in genuine fear of hearing his post-play interview. (Thankfully I don’t have Sky but my finger was hovering over the radio’s off button, just in case.


      • thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 1:01 pm

        Sadly (sadly?) Cook is rarely ‘let loose’ to the media mid-match these days… more likely that the ECB/Waitrose send out Root/Jordan/Buttler/Ballance to give the platitudes about his self-serving Iron-Rodders captaincy/batting…
        When are MooresTheEverIncreasingPityful or TheDarkFlowerPotMan going to man-up a face their ‘ just clinging on but loving’ press? (I’ll ignore Whitless and co…)


  4. Mark Apr 25, 2015 / 10:49 am

    We always say the next session will be crucial, but in this case it’s probably true. If the WI bat to lunch without losing wickets the game will be pretty much dead. There is a possibility they might be complacent, thinking the job is done. A collapse is always on the cards.

    But even if England pull off a surprise win it won’t amount to a row of beans. The same old England problems are there for all to see. Conservative, safety first selections. Rushing back players who have been injured. Ignoring more high risk type players like a leg spinner. The usual criteria which seems to be …….does the captain feel safe with them around.

    And that brings us to the captain. I think he is one of the worst captains England have ever had. And he appears to have learned nothing in the years he has been in charge. Same ball watching, shutting the gate after the horse has gone. He doesn’t understand the notion of giving a carrot to get a reward. Everyone knows WI players like to play shots, so why not tempt them with a leg spinner who might just encourage some rash shots that get wickets? But that doesn’t even come into Cooks radar. As soon as a spinmer gets hit for 4 a man goes back. If the media don’t like being laughed at,then stop telling us Cook is a good captain. He ain’t, you know it, and you just make yourselves look idiots by pretending he is.

    Speaking of the clown car media…… it’s hilarious to watch them dancing on the head of a pin trying to claim …….on the one hand WI are mediocre, which they are, but also pretending they are quite good, so as to whack Colin Graves. And always remember why they really hate Graves. He committed clown car treason by saying KP might have another chance. As always their judgement is blinded by their hatred of KP.

    Liked by 2 people

    • thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 10:59 am

      Perfectly put Mark, yet unless Graves does grab the bull(sh!t) by the horns, nothing will change. As for the MSM, you have to admit they do provide us outside with pure riches of entertainment!


      • Mark Apr 25, 2015 / 11:32 am

        They certainly made me laugh yesterday…..so good it has to be re printed.

        “Just imagine now that players all over the land start saluting dismissed batsmen this weekend. I can tell you what will happen. There is a good chance that physical violence will ensue somehwere.”

        What is Steve James smoking? The idea that a salute could cause physical violence is just hilarious. That is the funniest thing I have read for ages, ha ha ha.

        The sad thing is he is right about player behaviour and loutish send offs, but he picks the most mundane and amusing one to warn of violence.


    • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 11:15 am

      “Clown car treason” – loved that, Mark.

      I’ve not kept up with the blog in the last week. All the Jimmy-love and media spin had got to me. This series looks like it will come down to (maybe) one forty over innings, and then one Test match. Should it have come down to this? Well, two teams are playing… these teams don’t just put their whites on for England’s benefit.

      As a Worcestershire man, I couldn’t possibly adore Moeen more than I do. Yet was it really worth it to jet him across the Atlantic? What does it say to Rashid? You’re third behind someone who isn’t their county’s first pick, and someone who hasn’t genuinely proved they are match-fit again. Stokes and Jordan together seem to be a luxury. Has Plunkett become the fifth best seamer on the tour, or sixth if they prefer Wood?

      I can’t see Anderson or Broad generating any more pace as the Summer goes on. How could they? Sure, there’s a few medium pacers with OK records in Test history but is that what we need this year? Narp. The Kiwis and the Aussies might get some resistance from our batting but we’ll never take 15 wickets, let alone 20, on this form.

      Now I’ve made myself unhappy again.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Mark Apr 25, 2015 / 11:42 am

        It’s a hugely valid point MM. What does it say about all English spinners that they are second to a part time county spinner who has been out injured?

        It does make you wonder what would happen if England ever did find a Shane Warne. Cook/Moores would probably insist he went on a diet to meet laptop chart fat levels before he could play. And Selvey would do jokes in the media about Ronald McDonald.

        Liked by 1 person

      • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 12:09 pm

        Yep, it’s all wrong.


    • thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 11:02 am

      ECB computers don’t compute anything since 2008, unless it involves Cookie


  5. paulewart Apr 25, 2015 / 10:55 am

    Scyld criticizes Ian Bell for being ‘ambitiously close’ in the field and missing an opportunity. No mention of Cook’s catastrophic drop in the first innings, mind. Still, what can you expect?


    • thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 11:07 am

      There’s the worry that Graves and Vaughan (if appointed) may have the sense to appoint Bell for the summer as captain, rather than promote Root before his time, and yet still give Cook time to reinvigorate his batting if possible.
      I do worry that a last minute change to promote Root in the order as well as giving him the captaincy may still happen.


    • SimonH Apr 25, 2015 / 11:10 am

      In one of the intervals on Day Two Nick Knight analysed the Cook drop of Samuels from every which way and it just felt like he was trying to find some way to pin it on Bell. Did Bell move and put Cook off? Was Bell in the wrong position?

      Even Knight had to admit in the end there was nothing.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Benny Apr 25, 2015 / 11:20 am

        It is a dreary Sky habit. I’m a simple soul: sometimes fielders drop catches.


    • Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 11:11 am

      I found it hilarious that [redacted] completely ignored Cook’s 50-50 lbw review in his report on Thursday’s play, and then spent longer talking about the vibrant atmosphere than Brathwaite’s innings yesterday.


      • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 11:26 am

        Could the West Indies make a 40-over game of today?

        If we’re the third best Test team, there’s one hell of a drop-off from second place.


    • Mark Apr 25, 2015 / 11:18 am

      I think the phrase is “the Elephant in the room.”

      The clown car media are sitting in a Victorian front room with a giant Elephant shitting all over the place. But apparently they are oblivious to it.

      Or maybe they have been told to ignore it.


      • Benny Apr 25, 2015 / 11:24 am

        Anyone been in the elephant house at Regent’s Park? It stinks. Don’t know if this adds to the conversation but media and stink has a ring to it


      • thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 11:28 am

        MSM – Like the three monkeys – Hear no evil (unless KP tweets or Graves speaks) See no evil (until KP fails) Speak no evil (against our leader, but rubbish anything those outside or btl may have noticed as reality) – That elephant (Graves, not KP) is due one huge sh!t on their laps very soon


  6. MM Apr 25, 2015 / 11:31 am

    All this talk of turdy elephants and oblivious clowns might be the basis for a brand new David Lynch film. Get him on the horn!

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 12:20 pm

      Six men getting sick (six times)… selfry, pringle, newman, etheridge, cook, moores…?


  7. Elaine Simpson-Long Apr 25, 2015 / 12:45 pm

    This entire Test has been all about Cook getting runs and Jimmy breaking the record. Oh and not losing of course because their jobs are on the line. Please note I said Not Losing and not Winning. I hope Marvin Samuels gets a hundred today. I hope the England team have the wit and style (who am I kidding) to salute him off the field and he can saunter past saying At Ease men

    Liked by 1 person

    • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 12:56 pm

      I do so hope so. That would be a real moment of Youtube gold. I don’t think Team ECB are that classy though.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. SimonH Apr 25, 2015 / 1:49 pm

    On-field huddle with lots of talking from the animated captain……

    …… who then opens the bowling with Root whose first ball long-hop is hit for four.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 1:55 pm

      animated captain… so many cartoon characters to choose from – suggestions? lol


      • SimonH Apr 25, 2015 / 2:00 pm

        Set that one up for you!

        I’d come up with some suggestions but I’m too busy laughing at Stokes gifting Samuels four overthrows.

        Liked by 1 person

      • dlpthomas Apr 25, 2015 / 2:50 pm

        Gooch always reminded me of Captain Pugwash


  9. thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 1:51 pm

    Root opens bowling… no Moores needs to be said, as though the new ball in 5 is going to make a difference – why not let our ‘pace’ attack warm up with the oldie for a couple..? – Might get them to 85mph+ …


  10. thelegglance Apr 25, 2015 / 1:54 pm

    I’m quite interested to see how the West Indies approach today. If they play their shots, you might see England swiftly panic and go into defensive mode. But that would be brave on their part.


  11. LordCanisLupus Apr 25, 2015 / 1:58 pm

    Don’t usually do the Tweets:

    In reaction to Atherton’s appraisal of Kraigg Brathwaite first thing.

    In reaction to our opening bowlers this morning.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 2:14 pm

    Anderson strikes, just after Sir Geoffrey rips apart the bowling planning and three-way (Anderson/Broad, oh and the Captain) mid pitch discussion that wasted half an over time wise…

    I’d still take Boycs advice over most of MSM/Sky/TMS/even us outsiders


      • thelegglance Apr 25, 2015 / 2:46 pm

        It really was. When he first came into the side he was Vaughan-esque in his catching. Sure he drops some but he’s not bad at all at it. And that was special.


  13. thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 2:38 pm

    Anderson bowling well with new ball, his half-heated partner isn’t


    • thelegglance Apr 25, 2015 / 2:47 pm

      Anderson is bowling beautifully. But it does rather put into context the moaning about the pitch – it’s a new ball track. Bowl well with the new ball and you get results.

      Liked by 1 person

      • SimonH Apr 25, 2015 / 2:57 pm

        Up to 89 mph on the speedgun.


  14. thelegglance Apr 25, 2015 / 3:11 pm

    Trouble for the West Indies now. It’s been a fabulous spell from Anderson. I do like how they’re trying to bat their way out of it by being positive though. In these circumstances England would be prodding and poking in terror.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Mark Apr 25, 2015 / 4:13 pm

    Jimmy Anderson bails out Cook again just like he did last summer against India.

    WI always a collapse away from disaster.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. thebogfather Apr 25, 2015 / 4:46 pm

    Congrats to Jimmy – bowling and fielding…who else will take the game?


    • BoerInAustria Apr 25, 2015 / 5:13 pm

      Is anybody else playing? Looks they all went down to the pub and left Jimmy behind.


  17. metatone Apr 25, 2015 / 5:21 pm

    Pretty much wraps it up.
    So things will continue as before…


    • Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 5:25 pm

      First away win in 11 Tests since December 2012. Get that open top bus ready.

      Someone please tell me the match award isn’t being decided by the Jimmy Anderson Anal Smoke Blowing Society.


      • BoerInAustria Apr 25, 2015 / 5:37 pm

        I think Jimmy read that Dobell article…


  18. Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 5:41 pm

    Penny for ’em, Adam?


  19. What What Apr 25, 2015 / 5:44 pm

    Trott gone for a duck, It’s not going to happen but I’d laugh my tits off if England blew this.


    • escort Apr 25, 2015 / 6:01 pm

      Laugh your tits Off? Are you girl or boy?


      • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 7:21 pm

        Tits as in nips – unless he is a she, or has considerably sized moobs. Does that help?


  20. What What Apr 25, 2015 / 5:44 pm

    Gary Ballance everyone.


    • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 7:30 pm

      Give the man his full name, please…
      …it’s Mr GaryBallanceGaryBallanceGaryBallanceGaryBallance!


  21. BoerInAustria Apr 25, 2015 / 5:45 pm

    I think WI just lost the match by getting Trott out! Still half a chance keeping cook on strike?


  22. escort Apr 25, 2015 / 6:03 pm

    Show some initiative England FFS.


  23. Mark Apr 25, 2015 / 7:35 pm

    It appears Samuels really has got to the England clique. Just heard TMS interview with Jeff Dujon and Swanny said words to the effect that you guys were cool, Samuels is not cool. He just tries to be cool. WOW! Who knew a simple salute could be so effective?

    Oh and apparently Trotts place is in doubt because he failed in 3 out of 4 innings. Amazing standard that everyone but the captain is held to.

    Anyway, no doubt the media will demand we all eat humble pie tomorrow. Well I ain’t eating any of it. All that has happened today is Colin Graves has been proved right.

    Liked by 1 person

    • paulewart Apr 26, 2015 / 6:07 pm

      Graeme Swann is one of the least cool men to have walked the planet. You can imagine him boring his kids with dad joke after dad joke. Hardly an arbiter.


  24. hatmallet Apr 25, 2015 / 7:51 pm

    Have to say, Cook looks significantly better. The shuffle across is a bit much but he looks a lot more balanced and in line compared to before.


    • thelegglance Apr 25, 2015 / 7:53 pm

      Yes a lot better than he did first Test, he was all over the place then. Not sure I’d fancy him against better bowling, but maybe it’s a work in progress.


      • Mark Apr 25, 2015 / 8:17 pm

        That’s the key. The bowling has been average at best. You can’t make any judgement on Cooks batting because he is still swimming in the kids section of the pool.


      • Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 8:24 pm

        I hope Jerome Taylor is back for the Third Test. Because basically, all five of those fifties in his last eight innings have come against sides shorn of their best strike bowler. Not a fact anyone in the smug club is bothering to point out.


        • LordCanisLupus Apr 25, 2015 / 8:37 pm

          The fourth innings, once the hard yards were done to prevent an early collpase, was the test batting equivalent of Oxford University at the Parks!


      • Mark Apr 25, 2015 / 8:32 pm

        Yes, the smug club are wallowing in their smugness tonight. Why? I have no idea. Anderson wins another test match for England. Nothing to do with the greatest living Englishman.

        Although if you can never, ever ever ever be dropped for your failure, you will eventually score some runs. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

        Liked by 1 person

        • LordCanisLupus Apr 25, 2015 / 8:38 pm

          They played really, really well….. not to knock it.

          And as I’m talking Botham is rattling off incoherent bollox.


      • Rohan Apr 25, 2015 / 8:42 pm

        Agree about the bowling, it has been very average, on both sides really, apart from 2 brief spells by Broad and Anderson. I read/saw a startling statistic about Roach (might have been on here). Before his injury he averaged 88mph, since returning, he has averaged 82mph……

        What has shocked me is how short the fast (in the loosest sense of the word) bowlers on both teams have bowled. England in particular have consistently bowled back of a length, apart from the odd ball/short spell. I would imagine that a significantly greater number of balls delivered by English bowlers missed the stumps, than would have hit them.

        Anyway, get to the point Rohan. Considering this was a major problem in the World Cup, for which England were lambasted by many in the MSM. Why suddenly is this problem not as much of a talking point, why is the criticism not of the same level? Would it be cheeky to say it is because it is now happening under Cook’s captaincy and not Morgan’s, as it was in the World Cup?

        Liked by 1 person

    • BoerInAustria Apr 25, 2015 / 8:38 pm

      Cook more Ballanced…


      • Mark Apr 25, 2015 / 9:02 pm

        He can fly like a bird. The notion he is even quoted in the same breath as Viv Richards just shows how low test cricket has sunk.

        Liked by 1 person

  25. Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 8:33 pm

    I’ve got a terrible feeling this win will be reported like it’s Johannesburg 2005 revisited…


      • Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 8:38 pm

        F*** me this is just a total and utter joke. I cannot believe it. On the strength of THIS, we will beat a side with proper new ball bowlers, decent batsmen and a good captain, in conditions that will suit them as much as us?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Rohan Apr 25, 2015 / 8:52 pm

        Will Vetorri play? Add him to Boult and Southee and that is quite some attack. Also, the pace Broad and Anderson have been bowling at, McCullum will feast on them.

        I feel, however, that our undoing against NZ could be far more simple. If they play with the same brand of positivity and intensity as they have in their recent tests and the World Cup, I don’t think we will cope. I think our confidence could be easily shredded and Cook’s captaincy will not withstand that sort of ‘examination’.

        Liked by 1 person

        • LordCanisLupus Apr 25, 2015 / 9:02 pm

          Doubt Vettori will play (pretty sure he’s retired), but they have pace bowlers coming out of their ears. Boult and Southee, with Henry and Milne as back-up, and Wagner is absolutely no mug either. If their batting is able to cope with the conditions, and I don’t see why not, this is no picnic. (I forgot Bracewell, the talent of Neesham, perhaps Corey Anderson….)

          I think much of the hope is because a few of their players are coming straight from the IPL straight into test cricket.


      • Rohan Apr 25, 2015 / 9:06 pm

        Yes forgot about Milne and Henry, now they do possess extreme pace. I think there batsman will cope with our conditions. Williamson, for example, has the perfect technique and temperament.


      • SimonH Apr 25, 2015 / 9:36 pm

        Vettori has retired from Tests. NZ have only selected one spinner in their tour party – Mark Craig who took ten wickets in their win against Pakistan in UAE. He has an excellent arm ball although isn’t a big spinner of the off-break and he is a useful No.8 and slip fielder.

        The seamers are likely to decide a series in England in May of course. Milne has only been selected for the ODI squad and not the Tests. Bracewell was the third seamer in their last Test when they beat SL. Neesham misses the series because of injury and Anderson was injured in the IPL last week and may be out as well.



        • LordCanisLupus Apr 25, 2015 / 9:42 pm

          Glad to have you on board, Simon! Thanks, but I am, believe it or not, watching The Godfather for the first time ever….. so couldn’t be arsed to check!


      • Tuffers86 Apr 25, 2015 / 9:52 pm

        I’m sure if something goes awry in the spin department with Craig they have Jeetan Patel to fall back on.


      • lionel joseph Apr 25, 2015 / 11:16 pm

        little more than a very careless tweet from someone who should know a great deal better.

        it’s even money for me, and he’s done himself no favours by trying to justify such an unjustifiable bullish prediction by throwing in such nebulous factors as IPL transition and world cup hangovers.


  26. Tuffers86 Apr 25, 2015 / 8:44 pm

    Oh fucking hell. This is tedious. Everyone’s cracked open the bottles of hyperbole.

    England played well today to force the win, Cook was competent in the chase, but the ain’t Cook doing well comments are on par with Dale Steyn’s strike rate.


    • Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 8:47 pm

      Some people on Twitter have even given him another fifty: it’s now six in eight innings, don’t you know?

      Then again, a scary number of people on Twitter want Ballance dropped…


  27. Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 8:49 pm

    Well, this was a banker, eh?


    • paulewart Apr 26, 2015 / 10:55 am

      With each public utterance I empathise more and more with Darren Gough.


  28. Tuffers86 Apr 25, 2015 / 8:56 pm

    Nasser: “It was Cook’s sheer will” that England won today. What is happening to this guy?

    Is Giles giving out bonuses for each Cook arse lick?


    • Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 9:02 pm

      Sorry to repeat your question, but what the bloody hell has happened to Nasser Hussain? I haven’t seen Sky, but that Mail piece was cloying enough (“Boy do I admire him”). Cook’s runs are what English cricket needs, but co-opting more people into the cult is the very last thing it wants.

      (he’s on the radio now and still sounds as bad as he did after endless defeats in the winter, I’m afraid… errmmm errrmmmm )


  29. MM Apr 25, 2015 / 8:56 pm

    Great win for England and a great day for @jimmy9 and Cooky. If you still want to moan do me a favour and stop following me. Cheers!

    Apologies for my I.T. fail at copying Twitter. Anyway, here’s Swann[y] and his attempts at culling his off-message twitterfwends. There no opinion like a groupthink opinion.

    Liked by 1 person

    • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 8:58 pm

      Apologies Arron, you were first with the Swann[y] thing.


  30. Rohan Apr 25, 2015 / 9:03 pm

    See this is where I have a problem with all this Twitter stuff. If you don’t like people moaning or disagreeing, then don’t post your biased comments on such a public forum that reaches millions Graeme Swann. In actual fact, probably best not to be such a public figure……

    Liked by 1 person

    • Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 9:09 pm

      Give him some credit though – at least he didn’t say this:

      Liked by 1 person

      • Rohan Apr 25, 2015 / 9:14 pm

        Yes I forgot that Gem…..its up there with ‘outside cricket’.


      • SimonH Apr 25, 2015 / 9:22 pm

        Michael Henderson in today’s DT refers to “Twitterdom, that refuge of the witless”. Perhaps he only reads Selvey’s account?

        The rest of the piece is about how Western civilisation is going to hell in a handcart because of Marlon Samuels and Ben Stokes – or something.


        • LordCanisLupus Apr 25, 2015 / 9:24 pm

          Do you know, he wasn’t in my original draft for top 10 journos…. but he’s back.


      • Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 9:24 pm

        Did you forget the sequel too?

        Liked by 1 person

      • paulewart Apr 26, 2015 / 10:58 am

        I’m surprised he’s still in a job after that. Not sure it abides by either the paper’s community standards or the image they wish to project.


  31. Mark Apr 25, 2015 / 9:07 pm

    Now I know what it was like living under Stalin.

    Nasser: “It was Cook’s sheer will” that England won today. That’s a subscription cancelation right there. Nasser you have lost your mind.

    So nothing will change. They will be celebrating in Melborne tonight.


  32. MM Apr 25, 2015 / 9:08 pm

    Y’know there’s no need for me or you to downgrade their excitement or pop a cerebral artery over the press mob’s near-sexual response to this win. Job done today, England. Fair enough. You. Can. Only. Beat. What’s. In. Front. Of. You.

    There’s one more Test left. Could become 2-0, or 1-1. I tend to feel we’ll park the bus for a 1-0. Whatever…

    Beat the Kiwis? That’ll be very impressive. Beat the Aussies? Here come the knighthoods. And I’ll be eating at steaming big pile of yea MM speak nah with blue smarties on it.


    • Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 9:13 pm

      Win or lose, the lack of self-awareness and perspective in the media remains astonishing.

      Which is largely why we’re here, I guess.

      Liked by 1 person

      • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 9:19 pm

        I say yarp, that’s why we’re here indeed.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Tuffers86 Apr 25, 2015 / 9:19 pm

        I know it’s their own guys but the ECB Twitter claimed it was a famous win. A famous win.

        One that the grandchildren will be itching to ask you about when they’re flicking through augmented reality scorecards. FFS.

        Liked by 1 person

        • LordCanisLupus Apr 25, 2015 / 9:22 pm

          I have it ranked up there alongside Wellington 2008. If you want to look at who bailed us out of the shit with a really tough ton in the following test (1st innings, not second), then do so.

          Win the 1st Test at Cardiff. That’s a famous victory.


      • Tuffers86 Apr 25, 2015 / 9:45 pm

        Oh goodness. I remember Napier. That was a “Sheer Will” innings.


  33. Pontiac Apr 25, 2015 / 9:15 pm

    As a WI supporter… oh, well, that was going to happen sooner or later. Some serious duncery out of the middle and lower order. Chanderpaul is basically done, but Brathwaite has arrived. Another bowler is required. What was missing was the Tino Best type. Roach isn’t so fast anymore, Gabriel never was, and Taylor’s absence was significant.


    • LordCanisLupus Apr 25, 2015 / 9:18 pm

      If you get an e-mail before Friday (assuming you are OK to receive one) from Dmitri Old, could you do me the honour of replying to it! (Your e-mail address is supplied on the comments pages, so I hope it is ok to use it).


      • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 9:20 pm

        You’re not after my overdraft, am ya?


        • LordCanisLupus Apr 25, 2015 / 9:21 pm

          It was aimed at Pontiac. If I was e-mailing you I’d be after blue smarties! 🙂


      • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 9:28 pm

        I’m sorry – I thought that was a general request.

        The blue smarties thing wasn’t meant to be dodgy. I’m gonna get a bad rep now. I just dig any old tube of smarties but am particularly intrigued by blue food. Shouldn’t exist… should it?


      • Pontiac Apr 25, 2015 / 9:28 pm

        Sure thing. (ears are perked)


    • Tuffers86 Apr 25, 2015 / 9:22 pm

      I don’t want to come across all Peter Moores, but there is positives to take from this side. I was expecting them to be a shambles. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by a few WI players.


    • Mark Apr 25, 2015 / 9:22 pm

      I am afraid from a WI perspective that was shocking. Particularly the morning session. It was always a danger that a collapse would happen and I did warn that they might be a little complacent after yesterday. Thinking the job was done.


      • Pontiac Apr 25, 2015 / 10:07 pm

        There was a lot riding on that new ball coming in the morning when Anderson and Broad would have had known that was their first spell with it. If they hadn’t taken any wickets with it, I think England may have been given 250 to chase at tea.


    • MM Apr 25, 2015 / 9:23 pm

      There must be a couple of WI bowlers who can bowl 90+clicks at Barbados, surely? I mean, really ruffle them. I know the pitches have been a bit negatory but it’s time to chuck the bathtub at ’em, ain’t it?


    • Pontiac Apr 25, 2015 / 9:26 pm

      I’m also happy that each innings at least one WI batsman made a substantial score.


  34. Arron Wright Apr 25, 2015 / 9:32 pm

    I’m sorry, I know it’s only a headline, but it *really* pisses me off.


    They are the only two players who ever truly matter. If they so much as fart, they overshadow whatever anyone else does. Anderson deserves huge acknowledgment obviously, but the other one was outscored by 37%. Ballance made over half of the sodding runs, at a strike rate 33% higher!!! On what planet did Cook “lead England home”?


    • escort Apr 25, 2015 / 10:34 pm

      For some in the MSM read “The doped white mice in the science lab”
      A nice victory away from home, our first since 2012 apparently.


  35. dvyk Apr 25, 2015 / 9:49 pm

    I enjoyed reading everyone’s comments here. Thanks for all your intelligent analysis and humour. But it still hurts. This has been a dark day…..

    In difficult times I sometimes turn to the English cricket team for support. Like a few months ago when someone at work undid 8 months of worth of my labour with a stroke of a pen, I could come home and find solace and comfort in watching England’s world cup campaign and enjoy a few belly laughs.

    And this last week an ex- has contacted me out of the blue, but only because she felt she hadn’t dumped me thoroughly enough last time…. And now this. England wins a game.

    And Cook has passed Viv Richards? That is like hearing that Jason Donovan has outsold Hendrix.


    • LordCanisLupus Apr 25, 2015 / 9:59 pm

      There’s too many broken hearts in this world…

      Sorry, but I had to do that. Especially for you dvyk…. (but not sealed with a kiss)

      Liked by 1 person

      • dvyk Apr 25, 2015 / 10:55 pm



        • LordCanisLupus Apr 25, 2015 / 11:14 pm

          Have a better week, old chap. Sorry for the gratuitous Jason Donovan references….


      • dvyk Apr 26, 2015 / 10:48 am

        Thanks… The reference is apropriate!


    • paulewart Apr 26, 2015 / 11:01 am

      I felt a bit the same about Jimmy passing Botham’s record: giants and pygmies.

      Liked by 1 person

      • LordCanisLupus Apr 26, 2015 / 11:11 am

        I’m not a fan of Jimmy Anderson, so let’s get that straight. He’s never really been one of my favourite cricketers, although he’s on my team, so I’ll be a real fan and want him to do well. I’m not a great fan of Bell either, but that doesn’t mean I want him to fail. You see, that’s where I differ with the self-appointed real fans who seemed to want certain players to fail well before the fall-out….

        Jimmy Anderson is a very good, possibly great, England bowler. I’m not going any further into that debate than last week, save to say this. The way some talk about him, you’d think he was the most skilled bowler of all time. I’m sorry, but while Glenn McGrath is drawing breath, that’s a nonsense. Don’t bring his height into it either, because the late, and very, very great, Malcolm Marshall would like to have a word.

        The great bowler he reminds me most of is actually a cross-reference to Ian Botham. He reminds me of Kapil Dev. That’s not damning him with faint praise, but with high praise. But like Kapil, no-one is mentioning him in the pantheon of the greatest ever bowlers – merely in the very worthy, and very praiseworthy ante-room.

        But like most, it’s my opinion, and everyone is entitled to their’s.


  36. Rav Roberts Apr 25, 2015 / 10:09 pm

    “And Cook has passed Viv Richards? That is like hearing that Jason Donovan has outsold Hendrix.”

    Brilliant LOL!


    • MM Apr 26, 2015 / 9:25 am

      Sad fact is that kind of outselling always happens. And, as we know, it ain’t a proper indicator of all-time greatness, however nice the Jason Donovans of this world might be.


  37. Arron Wright Apr 26, 2015 / 7:39 am

    It’s not nice BTL at the G. A lot of “not a real fan” stuff and emasl being treated like a leper.


    • Zephirine Apr 26, 2015 / 9:11 am

      I noticed yesterday the use of the word ‘hysterical’ in comments to/about emasl, who they will know is a female as she quite often says so. It seems the 19th century is alive and well in the Guardian comment threads.

      Thank God for the likes of Fred66 and raje who add some bracing satire.

      Liked by 1 person

    • LordCanisLupus Apr 26, 2015 / 9:28 am

      Let’s write this again in something resembling English.

      You know I was mad at Yossarian’s post in the week and some questioned why I should be. I’m glad I saw BTL because it proved I’m totally right to feel as I do. I’ll pick up on what those who have called people “not real fans” all I like because (and to sound childish) they started it. I’m not having any person question my fandom to the England cricket team. I went on a whitewash in 2006/7 and fronted up and pushed our corner in a foreign land. I went to South Africa. I’ve been to tests in England for many many years, often losing years. I’ve been a county member for many years. You question whether I’m a real fan? Excuse my French but Fuck Off.

      If I weren’t a real fan, I’d have left. I’d have not bothered writing a blog nearly every day for a year. I don’t question your status, do not have the absloute front to question mine, and those who come on this blog. Who made you the sole arbiters of fandom? Do one. You don’t get to choose how I follow my team.

      That should do it…..

      Liked by 1 person

      • Zephirine Apr 26, 2015 / 9:44 am

        Fortunately there are some excellent replies now to the ‘not a real fan’ accusation.

        It is sad how divisive England cricket has become and how it’s affected what used to be an excellent cricket forum at the G. Apart from the few posters who routinely insult anyone who disagrees with them and use expressions like ‘internet malcontents’ ‘red-faced, frothing’ and ‘mob’, there are some previously sensible and nice people there who are increasingly tetchy.

        In contrast, the county cricket threads are almost exaggeratedly cosy and chummy, which is clearly a statement in itself from the posters who only go there now.

        We hope for better times.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Arron Wright Apr 26, 2015 / 11:13 am

        They all sound awfully like “If you’re not with us, you’re against us” from where I’m sitting. Thought that kind of patriotism without the slightest nuance went out with Bush and Blair.

        Liked by 1 person

  38. hatmallet Apr 26, 2015 / 9:40 am

    Only saw the last hour or so live, as I was away all day playing (and convincingly losing) against Ian Bell’s old team.

    As I said above, Cook looks a lot better. I don’t want to damn him when he does and when he doesn’t. Cook the batsman is, when in form, invaluable to us. I dont particularly care about the scoring rate or the quality of the pitch and opposition – he scored runs and they looked to be good runs (as opposed to the terribly scratchy innings against India). He’s never going to look as good as others, he never has, but it was no longer painful to watch.

    The captaincy questions remain. By the sound of it, he had a decent enough game as captain, even if a draw was favourite until Anderson stepped up. Only big gripe is he still needs to do more to recognise and address the new ball failings.

    Part of me still wants him as a batsman to fail so that change can happen. I don’t like feeling like that, the simple truth is that he’s pissed me off with his entitlement regarding the captaincy and selection, and his complictness in the mess of the past 18 months.

    Bigger challenges to come, of course. And it is a tad unfair that all of what I’ve written is about Cook. Great game for Root, a class above every other batsman. And an inspired morning from Anderson. Ballance looked very good last night too.


    • Zephirine Apr 26, 2015 / 10:08 am

      Yep, agree with all of that, Hatmallet.

      Cook seems to be a bit of a chameleon who will fit in with the company style. It may be that with a few more changes in approach and (hopefully) a good person in the ‘team director’ job, he may lose that petulant self-assertion and it’ll be easier to like him again. Or he may even recover his form and play well enough to be entitled to be entitled.

      Liked by 1 person

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