I don’t know. I don’t know. I just don’t know why I bother some times. Last night’s post. Twitter can really peeve me.

Look. Let’s be clear about this. I thought I needed to do something a bit different to get us out of the malaise of constantly going on about the World Cup and also the KP / Graves stuff. I was also hoping that post might catch some attention because although I’m not, really not, driven by hits, reaching 50000 in one month would have been nice. As it was, I failed by around 250, but I gave it a go, and thought the Dirty Dozen was a different thing from my always popular Journalist countdown, which I’ll do soon enough, and other criticial pieces or awards, like the Dmitris. I thought it might get me over the hump, is slightly different to those usual pieces and would get people commenting. I have sort of drawn the conclusion that this blog gets hits when someone says or does something stupid, rather than being based on what I write.

The Bogfather has gone to some of our old friends and tweeted it to them, and in reply the analyst called it a “strange list”, saying the real culprits lie underneath. Good grief.

This was not a culprits list of English cricket, you absolute muppet. It was a list of people who cheesed me off. JAMES BRAYSHAW is on it for crying out loud, and he has the square root of fuck all to do with the England malaise. So my list is no more odd than calling Jim Holden’s piece “terrific”. It would be an odd list if it was solely to do with England.

If truth be told I have ongoing twitter convos with a number of journalists. I am mellowing, somewhat, towards some of them, but can’t help but think that they still believe we are a bunch of swivel-eyed nutters who rant for pleasure. I want to be able to watch a cricket team play really good, winning cricket, preferably without acting like school bullies, and do it with a bit of joy and a bit of verve. I’m sure you are nearly all the same as me. I despise the petty politics, the schoolmaster class warfare bollox masquerading as the ECB in the last year, aided and abetted by the print media. They sided with these muppets, and they have to decide why. Some still hide behind their personal animosity towards Pietersen to prevent them actually saying “you know what, they’ve got a point about Downton, you know.”

Newman did not annoy me in the last quarter, for instance, as much as those in the list. I have to say that in some regards coming across some of the old Wisden Cricket Monthly magazines, when he took over from Doug Ibbotson on the SE county cricket watch made me sad for what he’s become. They are really pretty good. The anti-KP thing is getting really tiresome now, and it has to stop. If he’s good enough, he should play. End of. Let’s not mess about with semantics.

I have said a billion and one times that I’m not after anything from writing other than expressing an opinion on a sport I love, one of the few left. On Sunday the MLB season starts, another sport I love, and if the Boston Red Sox show signs of life this season, my attention could quickly be drawn from cricket. That their 2014 season was a train wreck only fuelled my cricket ire. I have no test tickets this year, for the third summer in a row. I have no plans to go to any specific games this season, although I’m sure to go to one or two. Money’s tight, priorities change. I love blogging, but as you can tell, work is tougher for me now, the responsibility, if not the pay, has increased, I’m knackered when I get home, and churning out the stuff is still enjoyable, but god, when people like Hughes can’t even analyse this, then I’m in trouble.

Some of you who read this may feel that my ever changing moods, and my unpredictability when it comes to my actions is a bit me, me, me. That’s who I am. I think Zepherine may have summed it up best about my “anxieties”. It fits me well. Things make me anxious. I still get a little nervous when those I criticise read this stuff. If it didn’t, I should give up. But in my view they deserve it. I want England to do well, not fail. I hope that’s clear.

Anyway, I don’t want four day tests, I thing Graves is coming across as a bit of a tit at the moment, has anyone seen Tom Harrison yet, and has Downton been locked under the stairs again? Think I’ll stick with Soap and Shower Gel.

And no, I’ve not been drinking so that’s no excuse.

Have a good night while I chunter to myself and start pacing up and down.

(An odd list)


97 thoughts on “Quietly

  1. Rohan Apr 1, 2015 / 9:11 pm

    Dmitri I couldn’t agree more, something I alluded to in a post I made on your blog the other day, seeing England playing good cricket in a fair, yet firm way would be a joy; something we all yearn for. You are spot on, end of, period!


    • LordCanisLupus Apr 1, 2015 / 9:15 pm

      Vian says it a lot, and we agree. Play like you enjoy doing it.


      • Rohan Apr 2, 2015 / 5:48 am

        Yes, yes, yes! And as you say, with some verve….


    • Annie Weatherly-Barton Apr 2, 2015 / 7:49 pm

      Great piece. If you can’t say what you want on your own blog then something is really not right. I agree with you. The fact that Hughes doesn’t get it, just shows how out of touch they all are.

      Keep on trucking Me Lord.


  2. thebogfather Apr 1, 2015 / 9:23 pm

    There are no more ennobled words than yours Dmitri – I love you as only a bloke can, I’m sorry if my posts sometimes seem a bit awry or are poetic piffle, but they are just what your (and others here) words inspire me to write! FFS – I’m normally enticing females with love/sex/temptation poetry – and you’ve (ALMOST) stopped me doing that! lol – take care – KITKAS


  3. d'Arthez Apr 1, 2015 / 10:07 pm

    Everybody has a different style of engagement. We could all be droning out the stats, we could all post the same stuff about how crooked the ICC is, or how low the bar has been set for various favorites of the upper echelons of the ECB, or post the 1001 most memorable quotes by ECB office bearers / coaches, but that would get really tiresome.

    Since none of us are professional cricket journalists, since none of us has a perfect memory, we all need to complement each other to make sense of the perpetual madness that seems to be the ECB. Whether that is by means of poetry, referring to statistics, inconsistent arguments made by the various hagiographers, or just pointing out what the ECB cheerleaders are at pains to deny.

    Since dishonesty, disinterest and duplicity reigns supreme, that is by no means an easy task. Arron seems to be onto something when he points out scheduling issues with regards to the World Cup of 2019. The refusal of most journalists to even take the ECB medical team to task, leaves us no choice but to try to piece the evidence together. The less said about Saker, the better.

    Surely we’ll make mistakes, but surely we’re also doing a better job than the so called “professionals”. That seems to be lost on most of those “professionals”. Most of the people who think they are “inside cricket” seem to be living in a parallel universe, as S. Hughes testifies so clearly. They seem unable to comprehend that they’ll be smashed by the truck that is about to hit them, as they’re caught frozen in the headlights.

    Any journalist with integrity should re-read the pieces they wrote about various actors a year ago. About the likes of Downton, Moores, Cook and his whining, the ICC stitch up, and I could go on and on. But they prefer to remain in denial about the rotten state of the English and global game.

    Many people in England are frustrated with the state of English cricket. Even a fair number of those who don’t identify strongly with English cricket are. Just as you’d like to see a strong West Indies, we’d like to see a strong England. A strong Bangladesh. Or Afghanistan and Ireland for that matter. None of that will happen if decent government practices are avoided like the plague. And they are.

    Cricket needs the people who are obsessed with the “filthy lucre” need to vacate their positions in the ECB and the ICC, and most other national boards of the Full Members. The game is consumed from inside, and the parasites are threatening the health of the host now.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. alan Apr 1, 2015 / 10:09 pm

    If Hughes and Newman hadn’t allowed personal issues to affect their writing and had retained some objectivity, then maybe they wouldn’t be eligible lists like yours and we could respect them even if we didn’t always agree with them.
    Please don’t let Hughes incomprehension bother you too much Dmitri. I still need you to keep letting off steam on my behalf. Can’t do it myself. It would take me a year to write one of your posts! Your efforts are greatly appreciated
    And yes, if England selected on merit and played their cricket in the way New Zealand have lately, we could all be a lot happier. Not that much to ask is it really?


    • Annie Weatherly-Barton Apr 2, 2015 / 8:09 pm

      Absolutely bang on. The fact that Mr Hughes is still saying “I’m an insider” and you don’t know what I know and you are all raving going on about the wrong people. Yeh, Yeh, Yeh! Same old, same old. Boring Mr Hughes and Rotweiller Newman. They are so unwise with using their position to laud it over all the “outsiders” with their “insider” chit chat.

      Know something? I’m not even annoyed! I am just incredibly sad that these people who tell me and the world and his wife that they know everything and understand everything, can’t grasp essentials. It’s pitiful; Truly pitiful.


  5. Andy Apr 1, 2015 / 10:33 pm

    The thing is dimetri, this being an unpaid blog you are allowed to be rather me me me (or you you you, cause you talking about me would just be a bit weird!)

    If some of those who were actually paid to watch and write about cricket were a bit less me me me (not again) then maybe, just maybe they wouldn’t appear on lists like yours!

    It just so happens that a bunch of us actually like to read your rantings and ravings, cause actually, you hit the nail on the head more often than not and you seem to think like we do – you just get it out there much better than we can.

    All we want is for our team (England, West indies, whoever) to compete, play with integrity and not embarrass either themselves or the fans.

    Something team ecb have failed at lately.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. MM Apr 1, 2015 / 10:57 pm

    Keep on calling it like you see it, fella. Give yourself some extra time if you need it. Don’t get demoralised. We ain’t going anywhere until English cricket finally goes popwhizzbang (in a bad terminal way).

    BUT… I’m winning the EuroMillions this week and then I’m going down to Londonshire to buy me an ECB. All the necessary posts will be advertised the week after next. Feel free to apply, team.

    Our t’Colin won’t even have to do a day’s work/mad grinning!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Benny Apr 2, 2015 / 12:22 am

    Think I’ve said this before, so forgive me. We, the great unwashed, discuss cricket, stats, cricketers,ECB, idiot selectors, groundsmen, grounds etc at home, over the garden wall, on the phone, in the pub, at work, in our local club changing room, in the slips and sometimes in a blog. Reckon the journos believe/hope we’re all passive souls following their party line. If they think that refuting the messages on one blog addresses even 0.1% of the disappointment (shall we say) being expressed in the real world, they’re even blinder than I take them for. Mind you, I think they’re “outside the real world” to use a catchy put down I’ve just dreamt up.

    Glad you’re here Dmitri

    Liked by 1 person

  8. ZeroBullshit Apr 2, 2015 / 3:35 am


    You should not upset yourself over what Simon Hughes says or, for that matter, what anyone (including your regular readers) says.

    Be yourself. Say what you want as you want when you want. This is your blog, for your expression, and to hell with those who do not understand or care for what you have to say.

    All the best,



  9. Rooto Apr 2, 2015 / 5:18 am

    I’d be worried if Simon Hughes came on here and out-argued us all, using facts we’d overlooked and reasons we’d wrongly dismissed. It sounds as if his reaction merely confirms what you thought of him. It’s virtually a compliment.


    • ZeroBullshit Apr 2, 2015 / 5:29 am

      Simon Hughes and his journalist pals are hardly going to come and argue with us here or at The Full Toss. Look at what happened to John Etheridge.

      Besides they are all meaningfully engaged in changing the system from the inside, aren’t they? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Rav Roberts Apr 2, 2015 / 5:42 am

        I’m still waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for Etheridge to tell us what’s wrong with *that* picture…


      • ZeroBullshit Apr 2, 2015 / 5:58 am

        I admire your patience Rav but Etheridge is not going to tell us anything. Indeed he said here not so long ago that he has decided that this blog isn’t a suitable platform for talking about such things. See the quote below and check out the linked post and comments.

        “With regards to the story about KP returning the gift for his 100th Test, it is true that I did say I would explain what happened. But, after due consideration, I thought it unwise to place it on a public forum.”



        • LordCanisLupus Apr 2, 2015 / 8:20 am

          A great example of the Tyres Tweet Tendency was that. And he should be reminded of it every time the crap comes my (our) way.


      • ZeroBullshit Apr 2, 2015 / 8:23 am

        Quite so, Dmitri.


      • LordCanisLupus Apr 2, 2015 / 8:24 am

        That line from Hughes was pure comedy gold for any reader of the Cricketer the last couple of months.

        Liked by 1 person

        • ZeroBullshit Apr 2, 2015 / 8:28 am

          Indeed. 🙂


    • Annie Weatherly-Barton Apr 2, 2015 / 8:17 pm

      What a good post. Of course, it is, a compliment. What else can he say? Simon Hughes is burying his head in the sand, like a lot of them!


  10. Boz Apr 2, 2015 / 6:21 am

    Can’t anybody see that this is just a diversionary tactic, ‘mind games’ by the self-professed intelligensia to enable them to remain in situ – think sledging and bullying – these ‘entitled’ arseholes just love it – just when you think you’ve got them they move somewhere else – they’ve spent years perfecting the illusion which in the end serves to protect their masters – they are making fun of us for their own amusement – wake up guys – if you don’t want to take them on just leave them alone – but in taking them on it means war and we have to be prepared …… they have the resources to cover us in shit


  11. Vian Apr 2, 2015 / 9:13 am

    Put simply, they try to intimidate through sneering. It’s a well used tactic in a whole field of human endeavour. And it rarely works.

    Don’t fall for it.


  12. dvyk Apr 2, 2015 / 9:29 am

    This was not a culprits list of English cricket, you absolute muppet. It was a list of people who cheesed me off. JAMES BRAYSHAW is on it for crying out loud, and he has the square root of fuck all to do with the England malaise.

    For my tastes, that sets exactly the right tone.

    Of all the people who get ridiculed on the internet, English cricket journalists are probably the only ones who fully deserve it. Ian Chappell had the following to say at the time KP was sacked:
    “Any player who wasn’t exasperated by Cook’s captaincy should be demoted.” — Same applies to journalists.

    If they play dumb and pretend that they really think Cook is a good captain, or if they instantly fall into line and approvingly parrot the ECB’s idiotic spin of the day, then it’s entirely fair to take them at their word and treat them as idiots. They started it anyway — by trying to shout down (Brenkley) or talk down to (eg., Hughes) everyone else.

    How are kids going to get interested in the game if the “analysts” of the game are talking utter rubbish, and players who could potentially be their heroes are either being mentally disintegrated and kneecapped by power seeking middle managers, or are being so molly coddled and propped up that they are made to look like a talentless spoiled brat.

    Which 10 year old would want to emulate any of that?


    • MM Apr 2, 2015 / 9:58 am

      “players who could potentially be their heroes are either being mentally disintegrated and kneecapped by power seeking middle managers, or are being so molly coddled and propped up that they are made to look like a talentless spoiled brat”

      Damn straight, brother.

      It reminds me of this: “Just look at us. Everything is backwards. Everything is upside down. Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the major media destroy information, and religion destroys spirituality.” – Michael Ellner

      Apologies to anyone in those professions, unless you actually are doing that destroying. It’ll be a pox on your house, in that case.


  13. Vian Apr 2, 2015 / 9:38 am

    “You are paid to score runs and I would love to lift up that bat again.” – Alastair Cook

    Presumably he’s on a zero hours contract.


    • MM Apr 2, 2015 / 9:50 am

      Ha! Not minimum wage though.


      • PaulE Apr 2, 2015 / 10:10 am

        Or performance related…..


    • d'Arthez Apr 2, 2015 / 11:56 am

      Well, the 0 hour contract might be peformance related. Anything less than 30 minutes does not count, and well …


    • escort Apr 2, 2015 / 7:19 pm

      And has been for some time.


  14. Mark Apr 2, 2015 / 9:55 am

    Dmitri they may well think we are all a “bunch of swivel-eyed nutters”. The problem for Simon Hughes and Paul Newman and all the other MSM journos is that they got what they wanted, and it FAILED. Always remember they said after the Ashes that removing KP from the England team was the most important issue. They also claimed that with KP gone things would improve, the roses would bloom, and we would all return to the land of milk and honey.

    The reason they claimed this was because of two fundamental errors. First, their blind hatred of the uppity South African overpowered any reason they may have had. And second, they bought into the notion of a harmonious dressing room was more important than talent.

    Over a year later and the results are in. England are a shambles. The only life raft they have to cling to was the India Test series. The very fact they ignore how shockingly poor India were is an example of their delusion. They own this mess lock stock and barrel. They supported a captain who’s form was dysfunctional, and who was no leader. They supported the ex failed coach coming back. They supported Downton. They supported Saker as bowling coach. They have been wrong about almost everything. It would be nice if they would show a little humility. Accept they might have got it wrong. Instead they double down on the inanity.

    But in this weird modern world where being wrong incurs no penalty, they carry on. They are the journalist version of the bankers. There is no consequence for being hopelessly mistaken. Only Pringle has paid the price. And we don’t know why he really got the sack, not that it mattered because the cricket writers welfare circuit soon found him another avenue to post his nonsense.

    Never mind, the WI tour approaches, and an easy win will be greated as evidence of their genius.


    • MM Apr 2, 2015 / 10:04 am

      I’m expecting West Indies pride to kick in, and England wobbliness to kick off.


    • Vian Apr 2, 2015 / 10:10 am

      Pringle got the sack because of Telegraph cost cutting. They had budget for one of Scyld Berry or Derek Pringle, and chose Scyld Berry. Why they chose Berry is what we don’t know, but it’s not unreasonable to surmise that.


      • Mark Apr 2, 2015 / 10:40 am

        Right, so Pringle was let go for financial reasons.

        This just makes my point. No one has lost their job for being consistently wrong. One can only assume that the editors pay no attention to what their cricket writers print or this is the line the newspapers wants to peddle.

        Either way it doesn’t say much for the Englisn MSM. I do love it when they claim the British press give a diverse range of opinions. Not in cricket and ECB maters they bloody well don’t.


      • John Etheridge Apr 2, 2015 / 10:49 am

        They chose to keep Scyld and make Derek redundant because Derek earned a great deal more than Scyld.

        It was purely a financial decision.

        Derek received a year’s money plus his three-month notice period.


      • Vian Apr 2, 2015 / 11:20 am

        Thank you for that John. Sincerely. It is no more fair on Derek Pringle than anyone else to be subject to rumour so that has cleared that one up.


      • Annie Weatherly-Barton Apr 2, 2015 / 11:03 pm

        I am not sure I believe that his sacking was all to do with money and expense. The DT would say that wouldn’t they? Remember that Pringle sailed very very close to the wind with a great many of his pieces. I’m surprised he remained in post as long as he did. He told a great many porkies in this past year! I am surprised he wasn’t had for libel. Not convinced.


        • ZeroBullshit Apr 2, 2015 / 11:19 pm

          I totally agree with you Annie. Pringle was terrible and had a strange obsession with Kevin Pietersen.


    • SimonH Apr 2, 2015 / 10:22 am

      “An easy win”.

      Great comment Mark – but I fear you’re underestimating their ability to move the goalposts. Any sort of a win will do them. Watch a narrow defeat become “not too bad in the circumstances”. Watch a drubbing get blamed on Graves and “mediocre” – or on the distraction of Pietersen (or on Australian third umpires or fate or some other spurious nonsense).

      The mighty Pringle copped a lot of flak for “11 out of 17”, and rightly so in most ways. However in one way he has done us all a favour by laying down a clear benchmark for success with no wriggle room.


      • Mark Apr 2, 2015 / 10:34 am

        Oh I know they will move the goalposts Simon. It is their stock in trade.

        But anything other than an easy win will fool no one with any real insight. If it is not an easy win there first job will be to protect Cook. It is what they have done for over a year.


      • SimonH Apr 2, 2015 / 10:35 am

        Something like this perhaps –


        Cook on Pietersen:
        “Contrary to what you may read in the media I’m a long way away from that decision. It’s down to Paul Downton, Tom Harrison and Colin Graves about Kevin, it’s not down to us”,

        Hmmm – just an agreed line so he doesn’t have to answer questions on it or putting a bit of distance between himself and Downton? And maybe it is just mischievous editing or bad luck but Cook looks about a thousand years old in the photos…..


      • SimonH Apr 2, 2015 / 10:46 am

        Not in Newman’s account but reported by Nick Hoult, Cook also said, “We need to get back to winning ways and it’s about a brand of cricket and trying to win this series. It’s about 16 guys and the support staff. The ECB will have to deal with everything else.”

        “A brand of cricket”? FFS. “It’s about…. the support staff”. It really isn’t.

        I was just starting to feel a little sympathy for Cook the way he looks in those photos but then he starts talking…..


      • Mark Apr 2, 2015 / 10:51 am

        Simon that is priceless because only last week the media couldn’t wait to tell us with extra glee that Cook had told Graves he did not want KP back in the side. Now it’s ‘nothing to do with me gov.’

        Another reason why this should be an easy win is the players and captain know if they want to keep KP out they better perform. If they can’t manage to do that then they are not worth the sponsorship money.


      • SimonH Apr 2, 2015 / 10:54 am

        Moores said, “Tom and Colin have come in. Tom has been great.”

        Not sure he meant it quite to come across like that!


      • SimonH Apr 2, 2015 / 11:39 am

        Reply to Mark’s “Simon that is priceless because only last week the media couldn’t wait to tell us with extra glee that Cook had told Graves he did not want KP back in the side. Now it’s ‘nothing to do with me gov.’”

        Just a reminder of what Cook was saying (or the media said he was saying) about Pietersen returning not so long ago (well, last week):
        1) “I think it’s very unlikely. There’s been a hell of a lot of stuff happened with his book and all that kind of stuff. It’s a long way back from that.”


        2) “Cook is privately furious at the talk of a Pietersen return – he has made those feeling known to Graves”.


        3) “English cricket officials fear Alastair Cook might stand down as captain if Kevin Pietersen is given another chance in the Test team”.



    • Mark Apr 2, 2015 / 11:28 am

      “I have known Mooresey for years and I love working under Peter.”

      Mooresey? Can’t they come up with something better? You don’t get much for private education these days?

      Mooresey, Cooky, Belly, Broady, and of course the backroom staff. Never forget the back room staff!


      • Vian Apr 2, 2015 / 12:01 pm

        You’ve got to laugh that it’s a press conference from Pete and Dud….


      • Tom Apr 2, 2015 / 12:33 pm

        Way back in centuries long gone (mid-to-early 80s) I somehow managed to be selected to play for the Berkshire schools under-15 team. I was the only secondary school kid in the squad and had only played cricket for a couple of years. My nickname was “Hey, you”, at least I think it was. I was too intimidated to ask for a clarification.

        All I can say now is that I’m doing alright, doing a job I love and bet I’m a little happier than those stuck up Eton twats.

        My apologies to anyone who went to Eton and isn’t a twat.


  15. SimonH Apr 2, 2015 / 11:01 am

    Hughes and Newman are discussing ‘the list’ on Twitter.

    Deep breaths advised before viewing…..


      • ZeroBullshit Apr 2, 2015 / 11:15 am

        A few home truths might be posted for the benefit of Hughes, Newman and the rest!


    • LordCanisLupus Apr 2, 2015 / 11:18 am

      Not sure it’s much of a discussion unless I’m missing something. In which case as Newman blocks me. ..


      • Benny Apr 2, 2015 / 11:58 am

        It isn’t


      • @pktroll Apr 2, 2015 / 12:54 pm

        Surely the fact that they are now beginning to see that their views on the wider scheme of things are not overwhelmingly popular with “the masses” should be something to at least take some joy at. It isn’t as if it is just a handful of people here either.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Vian Apr 2, 2015 / 1:23 pm

        I have visions of them kicking cardboard boxes after they’ve spent a year backing up the ECB and slating He Who Must Not Be Mentioned, and the Telegraph run a poll on whether he should come back and 88% say yes.


    • Arron Wright Apr 2, 2015 / 11:36 am

      Doesn’t take 140 characters to respond to that.

      Just this:


      When opinions not from the masses include “I thought it was £20 for a Test match ticket”, “#stay humble”, “right kind of family”, “the fruitfly, the pest that will not go away” and “England have found a diamond in debonair, dashing Downton”, I know where I’d rather be, thanks.

      I very much doubt cricket has been this snotty since the end of amateurism.


      • Zephirine Apr 2, 2015 / 12:33 pm

        “I very much doubt cricket has been this snotty since the end of amateurism.”

        I’m constantly reminded of Captain Mainwaring in Dad’s Army. Something about the desperate insistence that the world is as you think it should be…


    • Vian Apr 2, 2015 / 12:56 pm

      I wonder if Simon Hughes has the same views about “the masses” when he wants them to buy his books?


  16. Tom Apr 2, 2015 / 11:56 am

    My beloved is a devoted Red Sox fan. I never quite understood her fascination with baseball but have to admit once it comes to the play offs it becomes quite exciting. But she’s also a Patriots fan and have to draw the line somewhere. I tried teaching her the wonderful game of cricket by using the Ashes 2005 DVD set you can buy here. She actually learned what a yorker is and what a great bowler Shane Warne was.

    But then she started fancying Kevin Pietersen, so I showed her pictures of Giles Clarke and Paul Downton and told her these are the faces of English cricket these days.

    We’re still together and she actually reads this blog! Hi, Pam! Go Red Sox…


    • LordCanisLupus Apr 2, 2015 / 12:01 pm

      Could be worse! Your wife could be a Yankees fan. Like mine. By the way I hate the Patriots…


      • Vian Apr 2, 2015 / 1:21 pm

        I understand all those words individually, but put together in that order….


      • Tom Apr 2, 2015 / 1:40 pm

        It’s American-sport-speak which is always nonsense but a nice way to forget about the ECB.

        But, a quick example involving the Patriots:


  17. "IronBalls" McGinty Apr 2, 2015 / 2:05 pm

    Your Lordship, you have enough hits to more than fill a Test venue! What you are doing with this great blog is “real worth”
    Without it, and TFT, the average cricket lover would have no outlet for their frustrations at the idiotic and class ridden machinations and weaselry of the ECB. The self interested burblings of the ECB embedded “journos” are more than enough to send any sane person to the brink of insanity. I know, you know, and the majority on here, I guess, know, that their insights and eloquence are not fit enough to tear up, hang on the toilet wall, and wipe your arse on!
    To be attacked by them is not worth losing a wink of sleep over, after all, they have nothing, of any worth, to say!!
    The huge bulk of things we have been writing about, have, in the main, proved to be correct, even though it is all based on educated assumption, and not “insider privilege” as bestowed over a rather large lunch to the journos.
    Keep the faith your Lordship, the cause is just!!!


    • Marge Apr 3, 2015 / 6:17 am

      Totally agree. Having only recently discovered this blog, I hugely enjoy reading your outpourings as well as the very informed and often entertaining contributions from others.

      Living out in the sticks as I do, I know no-one who shares my love of English cricket or my seething rage at the mess that has been made of it by the appalling management of the ECB. So coming here and finding so many people that share my views and obviously have done for a long time has been a breath of fresh air.

      At least we know what your brand of blog is, even if most of us, including the management, have no idea what England cricket’s is! Keep on truckin’


      • LordCanisLupus Apr 3, 2015 / 7:53 am

        Many thanks Marge. Glad to have you and all those new to the blog along. Just in case you weren’t aware, I had to close down my original blog for a while, and there is more, a lot more, on there. That was called How Did We Lose in Adelaide and can be found on https://dmitrihdwlia.wordpress.com/

        Cheers for the nice words, and hopefully, I can keep the tide of nonsense coming along…


  18. SimonH Apr 2, 2015 / 2:24 pm

    This morning’s press conference is the gift that keeps giving. Firstly, there’s this:

    Then Moores said, “we all know we’re in a results business” but when asked if England had to win the series for his job to be secure he replied, “it doesn’t work like that”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Mark Apr 2, 2015 / 2:55 pm

      I wondered if anyone would pick up on that quote from Cook.

      “”desperate to start turning round Eng cricket from what’s happened over last 3 months.”

      Right out of the leadership manual of captain Mainwarring.

      Cook blames everything on the last 3 months under both Moores and Morgan. And clings to the delusion that everything was wonderful before he lost the ODI captaincy.

      This guy is a real piece of work. But he is a nice guy, a really nice guy according to the media.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Tom Apr 2, 2015 / 3:34 pm

        I thought we were doing OK. Haven’t we won two games in the last month? Surely someone is doing the right thing? It’s a statistic that’s hard to ignore, and I looked at the data.


      • Boz Apr 2, 2015 / 5:05 pm

        Come on Tom, you’ve forgotten the brilliant net sessions and the ‘togetherness’ team building going on as we speak, even on the plane to the Caribbean ….. is there somebody out there than can tell us exactly how many minutes Cook has spent at the crease since the end of summer that entitles him to be the primadonna captain he has become – my guess would be 17 minutes … any offers??


      • "IronBalls" McGinty Apr 2, 2015 / 10:13 pm

        8 runs in the last two innings? Of course he should be England’s opening bat…..and skipper?


    • d'Arthez Apr 2, 2015 / 5:11 pm

      If Moores was really serious about being in the results business he’d have resigned ashamed by now. 2 series lost against Sri Lanka, 1 against India, another loss to Sri Lanka (in November), and the World Cup humiliation. Highlight was the one time Moores did not lose, though he tried his best, as evidenced by the Lord’s Test against India. And J. Anderson admitting that he thought ‘stuff the plans, let’s do it the English way’.

      This does not even count the T20s.

      So, 1 out of 6 won / reasonable success, and only because the bowlers IGNORED the coaching.

      I have seen people being institutionalized for less.


    • SimonH Apr 2, 2015 / 9:29 pm

      To be fair to Moores, I was going on the report on the Independent when I wrote the line about “it doesn’t work like that” and having now seen the clip on the BBC website I realise it wasn’t quite as it was made to appear.

      Moores was in fact responding to a question about whether a win in the West Indies would guarantee his job and thus his “it doesn’t work like that” means that he could be sacked even if England win.


      • SimonH Apr 3, 2015 / 8:49 am

        This gem from Cook in yesterday’s press conference has escaped so far without comment:

        ““We have to focus on the exciting thing, which is the guys who are lucky enough to pull on that shirt and represent our country. I was with Adam Lyth when he got his phone call from James Whitaker in Dubai. It was such a refreshing thing to see. A gritty Yorkshireman was in tears talking to his mum telling her he had been picked by England. That is what playing cricket for England means. To get that opportunity to stand in the airport in his first England suit is something he will remember forever. We have to concentrate on that now.”

        Cook still believes all that ‘Englishness’, ‘team building’ and ‘getting tight as a unit’ nonsense, doesn’t he? Anything less than tears upon selection are rapidly becoming markedly suspicious, like the bloke obviously doesn’t want it enough and will probably sod off to the IPL given half a chance. When did English cricket become so needy? I find it at best pathetic and at worst a little sinister.

        To be clear, I’m not getting at Lyth. Lyth can react how he liked when he received the news. I’m getting at this being seen as somehow relevant to mention at a press conference. Runs, wickets and catches don’t count any more or less however a player visibly reacts to being selected. Tears? Quiet determination? Another day at the office? It doesn’t matter if the bloke gets a century in the next match. This England set-up is so imbued by these notions that extraneous, off-the-field stuff matters that no amount of on-field failure is going to change their minds – they’ll just warp reality to fit in with what they’ve already decided. They have to go.

        “That opportunity to stand in the airport in his first England suit”. An adult human being said that. Really.


        • LordCanisLupus Apr 3, 2015 / 9:05 am

          And maybe, just maybe, Sam Robson thought “why am I being dropped, when you haven’t made copious runs for two years, and I got a ton in my second test?”


  19. Rohan Apr 2, 2015 / 6:29 pm

    I am in France at the moment. During lunchtime, in an English bar, Sky sports news was on, but there was no sound. They were showing clips of Cook! Joy, my heart skipped a beat, could it be, has he resigned, fallen on his sword or been pushed? For a second I seriously thought he had gone, then I saw a clip of Moores and realised it was the Windies press conference.

    The rest of the day the song ‘has it come to this’ by the Streets has been resonating in my head. Has it really come to this? We outside cricket are left to fight for the good of English cricket. Whilst those inside English cricket, who are meant to run it for the good of English cricket, destroy it. Their lack of humility, ability, their arrogance and lack of openness leaves us no other option but to criticise and carp about their ways. We can see their wrongs, we can see their mistakes before they even make them, so why can’t they?! Who do they take council from, surely their decisions are not just made in isolation, so who is advising them, telling them what to do, who is the ECBs strategic visionary. And if they are taking advice, why do they not consider the mood of the public, consider us, those outside cricket! Yet surely there is more we can do! TFT wrote a letter to waitrose, what could we do? Storm the palace! Start Dmitris army the DA, like dumbledore’s army but without spells. Could we somehow manifest a boycott of England games, would a petition work. Could we get Dmitris work in the MSM, wod he want that? It is so frustrating, how can they so poorly manage, run and ultimately ruin the national team we all love and want to do well!

    Just get rid of Cook for a start! Please!


  20. SimonH Apr 2, 2015 / 6:57 pm

    This nugget from Ali Martin’s report:

    “Colin Graves, the incoming chairman, Tom Harrison, the chief executive, and Paul Downton, the managing director, are the guys to ask about Pietersen’s chances of a comeback, [Moores and Cook] said. All three men were in attendance, buzzing around behind the scenes as besuited players shuffled around the hotel at Gatwick airport. None were in front of the microphones, of course”.

    I can see why Graves didn’t front up as he is not yet formally in post but what is Downton for if it isn’t to answer questions in situations like this? Some fronting up by Harrison is also becoming seriously overdue in my book.

    Ali Martin also repeats the line that it is because of the autobiography that Pietersen is out of the team – that gets the decisive nailing it deserves from DanteMeetsBosch in the comments.


    • dvyk Apr 2, 2015 / 7:31 pm

      As always at the Guardian cricket section. the comments are of a far higher standard than the journalism. I can understand why Downton talks about KP’s book — it’s his job to lie through his teeth and talk rubbish, but why a journalist can’t read a freaking calendar is beyond me.

      Or maybe my memory is wrong. Maybe KP wrote the book about his sacking before he was sacked, and had to be sacked because of it.


      • SimonH Apr 3, 2015 / 10:18 am

        “As always at the Guardian cricket section. the comments are of a far higher standard than the journalism”.

        I’m afraid wctt is commenting away so that’s no longer quite so true! He’s taking the “oh that rotten Pietersen and his celeb media obsessed friends taking all the other guys’ attention”. In other circumstances this would be seen as a good thing taking media pressure off the newbies but when we’ve already decided we hate Pietersen and all his works we’re not going to look at it like that.

        There is also magnificently deluded and bilious comment from RobFlobbieFlob or whatever his name is. The press ask questions and it constitutes “harassment”! Some people really get the media they deserve…..


        • LordCanisLupus Apr 3, 2015 / 11:03 am

          I see a wctt post got taken down. Do you remember what was in the original?


      • SimonH Apr 3, 2015 / 12:26 pm

        I read it and can’t remember anything particularly offensive in it – just usual wctt really.

        He is going to erupt somewhen though……


  21. Ray Roberts Apr 2, 2015 / 8:09 pm

    “Maybe KP wrote the book about his sacking before he was sacked, and had to be sacked because of it.”

    If true, then that’s disgraceful behaviour on KP’s part and should be added to the list of his misdemeanours! 🙂


    • Zephirine Apr 2, 2015 / 8:49 pm

      Yup, he’s clairvoyant. That’s what all this has been about. The others found it too difficult having a psychic in the dressing-room and Flower didn’t like KP knowing what he was going to say before he said it (actually that last bit’s probably right, anyway).


  22. SimonH Apr 2, 2015 / 9:49 pm

    Fill in the missing name from this Rob Steen piece:

    1) “Without the soundtrack supplied by _______, AB de Villiers’ onslaught against West Indies last month would have lost something vital: the sound of barely contained awe”.

    2) “_______ is alone….. in blending nous, humility, boyishly uncurbed enthusiasm and an actor’s ability (inherited from his mother) to dramatise without diving too far over the top. There can be no higher honour in his profession than becoming the first Pom to front the Channel Nine gang”.

    3) “Sure, ______ grievously misuses “bunt”, and that penchant for Etonian English can grate, but as the only commentator romantic enough to pepper his routine with references to his mate Bruce Springsteen, all qualms can be suppressed”.

    That last one contains a bit of a give-away. An article to be cherished if only for the last time the words “honour” and “Channel Nine” appear in the same sentence.



    • ZeroBullshit Apr 2, 2015 / 10:19 pm

      I have always found Mark Nicholas boring and two-faced. John Arlott on radio and Richie Benaud on TV cannot be replaced in my view, and definitely not by lightweights like Nicholas.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Benny Apr 2, 2015 / 10:53 pm

      Apparently, Rob Steen is a lecturer in sports journalism. Wonder what he does in the other 51 weeks of the year ….


      • d'Arthez Apr 3, 2015 / 12:07 am

        Banging his head against the desk / wall as he plows through the offerings the English are subjected to in the past 18 months? And recovering from the injuries sustained in this rather painful process?

        Mind you that could just as easily apply to the commentators on Channel 9.


    • LordCanisLupus Apr 3, 2015 / 5:06 am

      Is it something important? Something for the “masses” to be bothered with?


      • ZeroBullshit Apr 3, 2015 / 5:11 am

        “ach don’t worry about it!! Just some opinions from” one of the wrongdoers……!


  23. Phil Apr 3, 2015 / 12:45 am

    Hah! It’s almost as if he has read Dmitri’s blog and decided that he is jeolous of not making the to twelve. Then proceded to squeeze out that turd. A sad, bitter man, who sounds like he has lost his inside track.


    • LordCanisLupus Apr 3, 2015 / 5:12 am

      Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water. For me the best part was him calling the book “nasty”. From a paper that brings you Amanda Platell, formerly Stephen Glover, Richard Littlejohn and Jan Moir, that’s a real case of pot and kettle. Newman brings the masses his importance. All hilarious..?


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