Ashes Panel #001 – Sledging, Scheduling, Sentimentalism, Sky

LordCanisLupus41 Comments

Welcome to a new idea, which I hope will work. TLG and I will come up with five (could be more, could be less) questions and selected volunteers (and I might try some of the regulars who didn’t) will answer them. It’s a format blatantly copied from the Daily Mail, but with bilious inadequates rather than professional writers and broadcasters. I’m grateful for all volunteers.

I will wait for the first four responses, and it would be great if you could turn any answers around in 48 hours if you are requested (and let me know if you can’t as I have plenty of volunteers).

Let me introduce the panel for the first of these – we have stalwarts Keyser Chris (@keyserchris), our resident Yorkie, metatone, @EoinJPMorgan on Twitter (known as Hillel) and our reasonably infrequent, but very welcome to be here OscardeBosca. We are waiting on one more (our man in Finland) and will add his answers when they arrive. He did warn me of internet problems in advance. UPDATE – I’ve added PaulE’s comments, so all five are now here.

A second set of panel questions will be e-mailed tonight. TLG and I might even answer them ourselves.

As I say, I hope it works.

1. What do the Ashes mean to you?
KC – The Ashes for me started as a legend, specifically Beefy at Headingley. I was only 5 at the time so didn’t experience it, but as I grew up later watching what seemed like endless summers of TMS, Richie on the telly, Viv Richards, Windies bowling & Gatting/Gower/Gooch, it was always there in discussions. But it came alive for me with the Warne ball. I had never seen anything like it, and it was the portent of pain up until 2005. God, ’05 was GOOD! The Ashes is generally expected pain at the hands of a gritty Border or Waugh, with intermittent huge highs, 2010/11 particularly (I was at Adelaide in 2006 and 2010 – yin and yang indeed).
OdB – There is a lot to admire about Australians and their attitude to life and sport.  It’s why beating them at cricket is satisfying.  I was 9 in 1981 and didn’t really get cricket, 86/87 was when I have vivid memories of my dad telling me we’d won when I was waking up for school.  So then fast-forward to 2005 having got into cricket post 87 and I really, really wanted to beat the Aussies and 2004 showed me we had the team to do it.  I have loved the past 10 years even though it included two away whitewashes as we have beaten the Aussies at home.  For me it should be the epitome of test cricket and it is the one team I want to beat.  Hayden epitomises the Australian cricketer i want to beat (and potentially see cry 😀) not enough of the current lot have an element of Hayden about them (Warner excepted) which is unfortunate.  I like some of them (such as Harris and Lyon) and I feel dirty saying it.
Metatone – When I was young, the big Test was the West Indies. Greenidge and Haynes, Richards, Marshall, Ambrose and Patterson all stick in my mind. And (biographical alert!) my Dad is Indian, so India and Pakistan loomed large. When you get down to it, the Ashes were just another series at first. There was a mythology about Botham and 1981, but I was only 6 at the time. Then came 1989… The Ashes became a ritual reminder of how low England cricket had sunk. There’s an irony that in some ways I didn’t really notice how good the Aussies were (the new dominant team across the world) because I knew how bad we were. 2005 was a joy not just because of victory, but because we’d turned a corner, we were no longer inept.
Hillel – Like most English fans, my interest in cricket was sparked by the Ashes. Specifically, my epiphany came in 2009 when I wandered off from the physical exertion of tennis camp (don’t ask) to find solace in the wicket-taking antics of Stuart Broad. In fact, I even managed to maintain from 2009 to 2011 that I was a cricket fan who “only followed the Ashes”, before I too was eventually sucked in to the spiralling vortex of hipster cricket, attending county out-ground fixtures and desperately refreshing live scorecards of affiliate T20 games. To me, the Ashes are not simply another Test series but a cultural outpost which England and Australia share. The competition is as old as modern cricket itself, and unrivalled by any perhaps besides that of India/Pakistan. Whilst there remains a certain magic to the country becoming enchanted with the Ashes every couple of years, I am always reminded by the specialness of the contest when chancing upon a random Australian abroad, and without hesitation jumping into an in-depth Ashes discussion as if we’d been buddies for years.
PE – The Ashes means different things at different times. It means of course, victory and defeat, and gloating rights. It means heroic narratives; Botham and Brearley, Bob Willis and Graham Dilley, David Gower in the sunshine and Allan Border kicking back. But most of all it means 2005 and a nation briefly at peace with itself: positive, comfortable and progressive, it felt like the nation and the cricket team were as one, ready to embrace the future. Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, But to be (relatively) young was very heaven! Sadly it wasn’t to last, and England as a nation and a cricket team hasn’t been as likeable since.
 
2. We all agree (say if you don’t) that three series in two years is overkill, but do you think this is damaging the brand that is the Ashes?
KC –  I had no problem with back to back series, the one-off idea really excited me & separating it from the WC is still essentially good. And there is precedent. This series though is the one I don’t like, blatant filler even pre-ICC stitch up. Should stick to its cycle from now on. Not optimistic though…
OdB – the ashes test series should be the epitome of test cricket, but there has been too much if it.  It now feels that Eng v SA or Eng v Pakistan is now a more important/interesting series, and that is due to its scarcity.  The ECB has milked this goose.  I went to Edgbaston to watch the Ashes in 2001 and my ticket was £28 for the Eric Hollies stand.  The same ticket for 2015 has cost me £81, now I may be wrong but I don’t remember 9-10% inflation over the past 14 years.  The lack of free to air coverage and the rising costs mean that whilst I will continue to go and watch test cricket in England, it will be an older and older audience watching and the younger audiences won’t be interested in the game.
Metatone – It’s not all the scheduling (the ECB has done plenty else to put those “outside cricket” off) but I’m basically bored of playing Australia. I’m much more looking forward to the SA and Pakistan series. Of course, a close series could reignite some enthusiasm. Part of the problem has been that since 2009 things have been rather lop-sided. Still, familiarity has left me jaded and yes, the media hoopla around the Ashes now rings hollow. I don’t think the damage is permanent, if we get back to a proper schedule – but right now it is hard to get excited.
Hillel – People tend to forget the enormous benefit of playing the Ashes with such frequency, inasmuch as it allows a narrative to be constructed. Usually the length of time between one Test series and another is so long that it virtually disconnects the two from each other. The beauty of the Ashes being played every two years is that we can remember the last and the anguish or triumph it brought. All of the vendettas, the rivalries, and the storylines that surround individual players exist because the Ashes are played so often. We would not have witnessed the complete evolution of Ricky Ponting, Michael Clarke or Mitchell Johnson if the Ashes were played more sporadically. It is also worth pointing out the majority of the British public only witness the Ashes every four years, for it is only the diehards who are prepared to risk the cycle of poverty initiated by being caught napping at work. Whilst the last few years have brought us more exposure to the Aussies than is recommended in a lifetime, normal service of England’s most popular cricket competition will resume, bringing the Ashes frequently enough to be brilliant, and yet infrequently enough to avoid devaluing the contest.
PE – Not the ‘b’ word again! Yes and no. The real damage was done in 2013 when the venal ECB and it’s draconian coach demanded far too much of the players. All the reports say that the England camp was in a good place until around 2011. The ECB and Andy Flower damaged England’s ‘brand’ more than any Ashes series.
 
3. Do you think the media are making too much of this sledging issue? Do you see it as a psychological ploy to get under the skin of the Aussies?
KC – I’m not sure. Aussies sledging is not news. England it seems we’re worse than I thought at it, hadn’t realised how bad their rep was. Agnew using the Hughes speech against Clarke was contemptible though. Ultimately it’s mostly boorish, but adds some theatre to a series. Though I reserve the right to poke endless fun at Shane Watson.
OdB – It will backfire.  The Aussies don’t give a shit what others think of how they conduct themselves, and Agnew sermonising to Clarke about Hughes is not something I want to hear.  I don’t care about sledging, it goes on, it works for some and not for others.  What I don’t like to see is the moralising that goes on after, especially regarding the ‘spirit’ of cricket.  The ridiculous nonsense regarding whether to walk or not (don’t, the Aussies don’t (when in Rome dear boy)) that became the meme of the last home series, it would appear that until the series start and proper incidents occur, the MSM Ashes preview meme is player behaviour.  When you are paid to write you need something to occupy your pen.
Metatone – Yes, it’s typical media froth. It’s not against the Laws of the game, so the Aussies will continue the way they always do. (I lived for a while in Perth, WA – and if you think they’ll do anything other than play up to the very limit of the laws, you’re a fool.) If it is an ECB ploy, it’s an inept one. (Tautology alert?) If anything it helps build the AU siege mentality. Worth noting that their fast bowlers will be looking to hurt the batsmen – and I’m sure there will be plenty of verbals. The way to respond is to get ahead on the scoreboard. The verbals always start to look silly then.
Hillel –  It is generally impossible to understand the workings of the British media, and this case is no exception. The tour of an exceptionally pleasant New Zealand team have left the media banging a ridiculous drum of worthless stupidity requesting that the Australians replicate the behaviour of their neighbours, naturally forgetting that such a cause makes no sense whatsoever. Whilst New Zealand are simply an international team with no cause for us to hate, the Ashes brings genuine competition between England and Australia. When an Aussie sledges an Englishman (or South African for that matter), it represents the wider rivalry between the two nations. In my mind, one hasn’t understood the purpose of the Ashes if they don’t want to throttle an Aussie by the time it’s all over. If this is a psychological ploy to irk our Australian cousins, it is a horrifically awful one. Rather than splashing our complaints all over the back pages, we should think about sledging the Aussies back: Meet fire with fire.
PE – Yes, and yes. We know how the ECB and their lapdogs in the mainstream media operate. File under cant and hypocrisy, next to smear and Operation Pietersen. Vic Marks did a wonderful job of lampooning his fellow scribes, Darren Lehmann, proved himself a wily operator today. No-one’s fooled by media spin anymore, are they? (Don’t feel the need to answer).
 
4. I’m not a fan of Sky’s coverage of cricket, but I’m a notorious curmudgeon. What do you think of it?
KC –  Technically, Sky’s coverage is superb, near-flawless. Most of the commentators are really good value (Holding, Nasser & Atherton especially) bar the likes of Knight & Strauss. It’s nowhere near as sycophantic as Channel 9, but you do have to listen with a pinch of salt at times (Botham…). Declaration speculation in particular is crap – play the time left in the game, not the weather. Sorry, bit of a personal bugbear that!
OdB – Channel 4 went to racing regularly and unless you had satellite or cable you missed cricket.  The BBC were similar.  Sky’s coverage is at very least committed to covering it properly.  The problem is the commentary team is hit or miss, for every Atherton there is nick Knight (anodyne),Botham (awful) and Warne (best taken in small doses).  However the smugness of Lovejoy and ficjam (Ed ‘fucking’ Smith) make TMS unlistenable at times (although I do like Boycott, Alison Mitchell, and Charlie Dagnall).
Metatone -Commentary teams are a matter of taste, I don’t mind most of Sky’s collection overall, but it rarely thrills me. Some of that is the passage of time – we lost Ritchie Benaud and it makes a big difference. Technically, it’s good camera work – but you can look at the highlights from 2005 and it’s obvious that it’s not actually that much better than the Channel 4 coverage. (I’ll note as a former professional with sport photography that some of the recent NZ series camerawork was below par.) Sky’s defenders always invoke BBC coverage from days gone by (we had some good youtube of 1971 Boycott in a comment thread, you can see the very big technical limitations there) but compared with Channel 4 of 10 years ago, the improvements aren’t large. Key point, I don’t think the technical advances remotely make up for the fact that I now have to go to the gym or the pub to watch coverage.
Hillel –  With the exception of Nick Night, Shane Warne complete with endless anecdotes about strip clubs and golf courses (kill me now if the word mulligan is mentioned once during this Ashes), and just about all of their pundits, Sky actually do a rather decent job. They employ some rather excellent voices of reason, Mike Atherton chief among them, and whilst we take it for granted in the modern game, the picture quality and coverage is actually incredibly good. With the exception of the odd silly gimmick (what’s the point of the rev counter if every spinner from Xavier Doherty to Muttiah Muralitharan is going to be in the orange zone), the analytical supplications they provide are genuinely quite insightful. Although I do begrudge the concept of handing over the rights of all English cricket to such an expensive TV package such as Sky, that is no-one’s fault but the ECB, and Sky themselves must be commended on excellent coverage.
PE – Don’t get to see a great deal of it here in Finland, but, from what little I’ve seen it does seem to have embarked on a road marked ‘despair’. The cricket itself is good, the adverts and commentary less so. I’m more disappointed by TMS to be honest. It was a lifeline for many years, charming, eccentric but vaguely inclusive and often very funny indeed. I find it excruciating now, patronising, craven and humourless. Thank goodness for Geoffrey, one of the few credible voices in the game.
 
5. The question on all lips it seems is the transfer of the ODI attitude over to the test team? Is it important, and if yes, do you think it will happen?

KC –  If they can transfer it, yes, it could be very important. But Cook is the skipper, and I trust him with the team’s attitude even less than I would with a spinner, so it in short, no it won’t happen.

OdB – Yes, the ODI series in 2005 was important as the attitude shown then was crucial and it carried forward to the test series, however the test and ODI squads were very similar then.  Unfortunately I think it will be lost in translation.  Cook hasn’t the capacity to play in that fashion, and whilst he should be the perfect rock for the more attacking players to perform around (and I hope he plays like he did against NZ as he appeared back to his unhurried best, it may be slow, there may only be 3/4 scoring shots, but it is mightily effective).  My issue is that he is a reactive defensive captain.  He makes poor decisions on the field which appears to permeate into the team and then as more things go wrong the worse things get.  Our fielding during the ODI series was average (which is a vast improvement on the test side  who’s fielding has been mediocre at best (Jordan apart)). Is this the fault of poor captaincy and poor decisions leading to lower morale, more frustration, and ultimately sledging the opposition?  Einstein once said that madness was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  Since India away, England have been in control of a lot of games in winning positions and thrown them away, day 4 at headingley (pick a year either 2014 or 2015 will do).  Cook appears incapable of learning from his mistakes and I genuinely think his captaincy will be the difference between the two sides.  Their bowlers are good but these are our home conditions, and I think both batting lineups are potentially brittle.  As with most 5 match series there will be a number of key points, if Cook has an ordinary day we might win some, if he regresses to the mean we will lose those and subsequently the Ashes.

Metatone – Of course it is important. Vaughan said it before 2005 and he proved it on the field (as indeed other teams have) – Australia are out of their comfort zone when the opposition don’t back down. Test cricket is not just about skill, it’s a mental game too. Will it happen? Probably not. Cook is by nature a grinder. We have some batsmen who can do it differently (Root, Buttler, Stokes) but our bowling doesn’t look set up to attack.

Hillel – It wasn’t too long ago the media proclaimed the same should be applied in reverse, and that England should carry forward their momentum from the Test series victory against India to ODI’s, and onward to the World Cup. We all know how that turned out. Not only is it not important to carry over the ODI attitude to the Test team, it is vitally imperative not to. There is no intrinsic flaw in the conservative methods employed by our Test team, and the media banging on about how Cook must be as aggressive as the ODI team will put undue, unnecessary pressure on him. The problems which the English Test squad encounter are those of poor tactical decisions during the game (such as field settings) and inconsistent performances of batsmen and bowlers, not the attitude to Test cricket itself. Whilst some will point to the radical development of how Tests are played, as exhibited by New Zealand, it is worth remembering that England did win that Test series. The sooner international teams are able to divorce the longer and shorter formats from each other, the better they will perform in both.

PE – I’m delighted by the transformation undergone by the ODI team. Demonstrable evidence that those criticising the decisions of the last couple of years are right. It just goes to show what can be achieved by a group of players with the right captain and the right coach. It’s all about mentality. I’d be very surprised if the form is transferred: to paraphrase Bill Clinton ‘it’s the captain, stupid.’

So – there you have it. A number of voices, with some great points (they rate Sky a lot higher than me). Chew on it and think along. Because you might be next…..

Dmitri’s Ashes Memories – A Brief Recall of 2001

LordCanisLupus2 Comments

The 2001 series was the one that saw Australia at their most dominant over here. It saw them able to leave out Michael Slater and bring in Justin Langer, who never relinquished the slot as opener. It saw Warne bowl us to distraction, McGrath in his pomp, Gillespie an option we would die for, Gilchrist an absolute demon who made an outrageous hundred at Edgbaston and a 90 at Lord’s that took games away from us. We were outclassed, our players fell like flies, and even the win we got, at Headingley, was semi-gifted to us and required an innings from the gods by Mark Butcher.

So, by the time I wended my way to The Oval for my annual pilgrimage – for the first time for the first day of a game – although we had a little happiness in our step (having won the 4th test) we were not exactly jumping for delight. In addition, I was in the midst of one of my many weight loss campaigns and was not drinking. I had to watch the two days on a diet of excitement, not so much food, and no beer.

Add on top of that the two days play I saw were decidedly sobering. Steve Waugh, all intent and ego, had declared he would play this match despite needing his leg amputated. Langer came in for Slater, while England opted to play Jimmy Ormond, immediately labelled a “lard-arse” by Ferret (a world famous cricket follower, if you haven’t met him, you haven’t lived) and brought back Phil Tufnell on the premise that he’d bowled the Aussies out four years ago.

Now imagine watching two days of cricket in blazing hot sunshine, where Australia won the toss and batted, and racked up 641 for 4 declared. It was excrutiating to watch our attack put to all parts. 4.2 runs an over, three centuries, two fifties, four bowlers going for over a hundred and no beer. Not a glass of the Oval’s wretched Fosters passed my lips.

I remember Hayden and Langer cruising past 150, before the Big Unit hit a ball straight down deep square leg’s throat. A friend texted “Tuffers is back” but that was his last wicket. In test match cricket. Back, then gone for good. Wonder what he is doing now?

Justin Langer passed his hundred before copping one on the head from Andy Caddick, which brought Mark Waugh to the crease with Ricky Ponting.  The latter didn’t make it quite to the end of play and he provided Jimmy Ormond one of his two test victims (his other was Rahul Dravid – not bad for the only two on your CV). 324/2 was the score at the end of the first day’s play. As we left the ground we saw Justin Langer, looking a bit woozy, in the back of a car. That I remember.

Day two saw the slaughter continue. Mark Waugh went through to a century and then got bored, being bowled by Darren Gough for 120. Steve Waugh hobbled on. making his point, to the nth degree, while Adam Gilchrist came out at number 6 and blapped one up in the air to give Usman Afzaal his only test wicket in his last test. 534/4 and the Aussies were in crisis. Tugga continued, grinding England into the dirt, and yes, he did that celebration while waving his bat from the floor after diving to avoid being run out. We got it, Steve. You were one hard bastard. Damien Martyn made an effortless, more than a run a ball 64, and Waugh decided to call it quits with him in red ink and Australia on 641/4.

By this time I was going through 2 litre bottles of water like pints of lager. Dehydrating rapidly in the warmth. In a frightful piece of name-dropping, I told this tale of woe to John Buchanan once – he thought it wryly amusing. I didn’t.

Trescothick made 55 not out by the close of play, but Atherton fell to Warne. Butcher got a heroes welcome, and was unbeaten at the close. 80 for 1 wasn’t a bad start, and we in fact,  made 432. Ramps made a superb 133. But we lost. Tugga had it right. We were soft, we were not prepared to fight and we gave in too easily. Tautology reigns when I talk about Tugga. I’ve been mentally disintegrated by those two days. Evian did well, though.

Closing the circle

thelegglance24 Comments

Amongst all the cricket news and build up to the Ashes over the last few days, Kumar Sangakkara quietly announced that he’d be retiring from international cricket in August, after the second Test against India.

He’d said at the end of the World Cup that it was the start of the long goodbye, but it’s still sad news that such a player should depart the stage, especially one who seems to be getting better by the year rather than deteriorating, although I suppose a Test average over the last year of a shade over 50 might be considered lower than normal.  The relatively muted response to it is in keeping with how Sangakkara has been considered through most of his career; rarely has he received the kind of accolades that should be his due.

Certainly the raw figures are astonishing.  12,305 Test runs at an average of over 58, 14,234 ODI runs at an average a shade under 42, and even 1,382 runs in international T20, at a still decent average of 31.40, with a strike rate around 120 – Sanga has demonstrated mastery of all formats of cricket.  But it is Tests that make the legacy, and that record in particular bears closer examination.

No player in the last half century with any kind of career longevity has exceeded Sangakkara’s Test average.  In the all time list, with a 50 innings minimum, he’s in fifth place.  And yet it goes further than that.  Sangakkara started his career as a wicketkeeper/batsman, and a became a very fine one.  But the wicketkeeping depresses the batting average quite significantly in his case, 48 matches in his career were played as the designated keeper, and in those he averaged a still healthy 40.48.  But in the 84 matches (not an inconsiderable number) where he wasn’t the wicketkeeper, that batting average rises to a truly astounding 68.05.  There is no player apart from Bradman who has figures like that.  None.

He did it almost everywhere.  South Africa was his least happy hunting ground, and perhaps surprisingly to some extent England wasn’t an opponent he did especially well against.  But an average of over 60 in Australia is a good indicator of the level at which he operated.

I was fortunate enough to be at Lords last year.  Given the circumstances, the chance to watch Sangakkara one last time in a Test was the main motivation behind going, and the evening before as he came into bat was one of those anxious watches, hoping against hope he wouldn’t get out.  In all truth, I bored my fellow travellers to the Test rigid with talk about this player, how I really hoped he would go on to get a score, and how fantastic a player, and how undervalued a player, he really was.  It was therefore nothing but a privilege to watch him bat, and to see him score a Lords century.

It’s hard to understand quite why it is that Sangakkara doesn’t get the plaudits that such a career should generate.  Perhaps his understated manner is the reason, but he’s anything but an ugly player – that cover drive having been a thing of beauty throughout his career.  Yet understated he may be, he was anything but an angel on the field.  At the start of his career he collided rather memorably with Nasser Hussain, the spiky pair exchanging constant pleasantries on the field.  In the days when Sky would dare to ask awkward questions of the England captain, they were perhaps surprised by Hussain’s smile in response, and statement that he thought the young man was great.

And yet he’s always been about more than just the game itself.  In 2011 he was invited to give the annual Spirit of Cricket lecture by the MCC.  His impassioned, erudite and powerful speech concerning the history of cricket in Sri Lanka, interwoven with what the game meant to him on a wider basis, rightly made headlines all over the world.  Here was a great player, who was also intelligent, exceptionally articulate and above all, deeply caring of the game of cricket.

For anyone who hasn’t watched it yet, put an hour of your time aside, and do so.

As he reaches the end of his career, it’s perhaps time to make the claims for him that few others have.  Sangakkara is the best batsman of the last 75 years.  He’s possibly second only to Don Bradman in the history of the game.  His record is genuinely astonishing, and he played with a grace and fluidity relatively unusual for such a high achiever.  And given that he was in a side who routinely struggled everywhere away from their own jewel of an island, that record looks all the better.

It’s been a rare treat to have been able to watch a genuine, bona fide, all time great of the game of cricket.  Perhaps like so often, it’s only when he’s no longer playing that a proper appreciation of his merits will be forthcoming.  But in 50 years time, when an eight year old boy somewhere in the world looks up the records, they’ll be asking their dad who this one was, and why they haven’t heard of him before.

@BlueEarthMngmnt

Times of Lupus

LordCanisLupus12 Comments

Hello all.

Just a quick few updates on things as they stand.

Ashes Panel #001 will be up as soon as either Hillel or PaulE get their responses to me! I’m promised one response this afternoon (and I can add the other’s later). Good stuff so far. I thought I’d also set down some etiquette rules with it. I’m really grateful these people have put in time and effort to respond so be polite, people. Disagree, but don’t abuse. This will work if we do it right.

The second set of questions will be out for the next wave of the panel in the next day or so. A third set will come out for the third group towards the end of the week. I have 15 or so volunteers so grateful for that.

I am pleased people like the Ashes flashbacks, and I’m enjoying reading the individual stories you have. Please, please keep them coming.

The Leg Glance is back from his work assignment and has a couple of good things lined up for you.

I’m watching Cricket Writers on TV and it is one of the better ones. I think this is down to Charles Colvile actually, who asks journalist questions rather than some of the “how great were we” that Allott seems to be adroit at. I’ve always had a bit of a thing against Allott from 2002. We were queueing up in a long old line to get throught Brisbane passport control, and in front of me was a true England legend, one of the few who had made a triple hundred in tests, and there, breezing through on my right was Paul Allott. If I was John Edrich, I’d have been mad as a mongoose. Well, I was mad…..

Colvile posed questions on ICC that were asked in a really direct way. Etheridge is correct in that it doesn’t interest people who read the Sun, but that doesn’t make it right. Curbing the World Cup to 10 teams in perpetuity it seems. I’ve not gone on at the ICC on this blog, and that’s because I can only have a go at the ECB really before my head spins off its neck! But this is a load of convenient blindness. SimonH pointed out the tweets yesterday. The game itsn’t being developed properly. Hoult was right that England has been a soap opera, and that this takes precedence.

Etheridge of course, is wrong about his men in boots, men in suits, because while we all love (most of the time) watching the men in boots, it’s the men in suits relieving me of my money, determining what I watch and how much I pay for it, and determine what is right for me. Hence I can, and do, write about the men in suits.

OK. More later, including another Ashes memory possibly from me.

Dmitri’s Ashes Memories #4 – Adelaide, The First Time

LordCanisLupus2 Comments

I’ll come back to the 1985 series in the week, but while watching Kanye West wittering on at Glastonbury, I thought I’d go back to my second test match overseas, and that was in 2002 at Adelaide.

We had an Australian secretary who thought I was out of my mind going to Adelaide, but I also had a great mate of mine who had gone out to Australia and lived in Adelaide for a large part of her time there (she found a bloke). We hadn’t been in contact, but she always said Adelaide was OK.

So, having endured Brisbane, and the hammering we got at that venue, Sir Peter and I flew up to Cairns and stayed in Port Douglas (another recommendation from my mate) and it was incredible. I will return one day if it is within my power to do so. Then we spent four days in Sydney, and saw an incredible New South Wales line up lose to South Australia. We then thought it might be a decent idea to book some accommodation. Except, when we looked at all the websites, there was nowhere in our price range. And I mean nowhere. For Wednesday and Thursday night there was a decided lack of places to stay. This provided us with a massive dilemma. We had somewhere we could stay in Sydney, but might have to reschedule flights and miss the first two days.

Then a morning spent in a tourist office came up with a place to stay in Glenelg. And at a reasonable price. We jumped all over it. A late arrival in Adelaide, a pick up of a key from a safety deposit box, and a brilliant, wonderful taxi driver and we had somewhere to stay. It was a bit of a flea pit, but who gave a stuff.

So we got the tram (the old version in those days) from Glenelg (I’ll leave out the bizarre karaoke we heard when we arrived, where people were queueing up to do a Gary Glitter song) to King William Street, followed the crowd through the centre of Adelaide, over the Torrens River and towards this legendary venue. While not quite the goosebumps of Brisbane, it was still something to wonder. This had history, this was where Bodyline reached its height of fury. This was Bradman country (I know he was from Bowral). The thing was, we didn’t have our tickets. We’d bought them, but expected to pick them up from the Oval. Hence we were an hour early. We got in the queue and…… nothing.

The queue never moved. There was obviously a total cock-up with the ticketing system. It turned out that the company that flogged them had not really been clear. We weren’t supposed to pick them up from the ground, but from their ticket offices in the centre of the city. We took this news with equanimity, but I’ll now give these guys all the credit. They confirmed our tickets were there, got confirmation of our information, and then escorted us into the ground to our seats (and delivered our tickets for the rest of the test – we had days 2 & 3 tickets). We missed the start, but England were batting.

That first day was all about Michael Vaughan. Sure, he got away with that catch to gully that Langer got the arse about, but he was brilliant to watch. He made a wonderful 177, getting out off the last ball of the day. It was magnificent entertainment as he played on a different level to every other England player. I still have all that day’s play on DVD (what a mum I had – she did all the recording on tape for me – I miss her) and while it seemed, on the face of it, to be a really decent day for England, losing Vaughan to the last ball was a punch in the guts. I recall Vaughan treating the square boundaries as an invitation to go aerial and he looked in control to the degree I’ve not seen from an England batsman before or since. Seriously, I think his spell between the 197 at Trent Bridge, up until he was given the captaincy, was the most impressive test batting I’ve ever seen from an England man. It was not just the big hundreds, but the manner and pace of them, and the shot-making.

The first day was also evidence of the world religion of cricket to me. While I had plenty to moan at (and if you ever see Live and Uncut Down Under, I do moan), I did meet two absolutely superb blokes to chew the fat with. I’m not quite sure how it happened, but I was a smoker on that tour (I jacked it in 3 months after I came home and never smoked again) and under the floodlight pylon I got talking to this Aussied called Michael. He journeyed over from Sydney every year for the Adelaide test and we got chatting about cricket. His mate Bernie, definitely quieter, was also great entertainment. That’s what cricket is to me, a bringing together of people who love the sport.

I recall we were buzzing that night, so we decided to try to extend our holiday by a few more days. We decided to get up early to see if we could get to the Singapore Airlines offices to fly back on the Wednesday rather than Sunday. It meant we were late to the second day’s play, so we missed Mark Butcher (heard him getting out as we took our places), and the rest of the team subsided by lunch, I believe. Michael gave us a bit of stick about that at the break. The afternoon saw England work hard, nipping out the two openers, but that was about all of the good news. Damien Martyn and Ricky Ponting were going well and England’s 300-ish innings was never going to be enough.

I had decided to stop smoking (again) but Saturday morning did for me. I spent two hours in the presence of a know all who knew eff all, and I was being worn down by the humour. I have a rant and a half at lunch on camera and then went off to the pylon to nick a cigarette off Michael – who only smoked unflitered ones so that was raw! Ponting finally got out, we bounced out Steve Waugh, but the Aussies were going to make 500, and so they did. I remember one thing about this attritional day. It was hot. Stinking hot. The hottest I can ever remember. It was, therefore, little surprise that Australia declared over 200 in front and then took three of our wickets before the close, including another off the last ball of the day. That plane home on Sunday might have been better!

We moved to the Holiday Inn motel on Sunday morning, and all hope now was on a brutal weather forecast from the afternoon and the next 36 hours. All we needed to do was survive three hours and we would probably be safe. But no. McGrath took an incredible catch to dismiss Vaughan, and although Stewart made a half century, and there were various delays for light drizzle, Australia closed in on victory and got there. I think the umpires were a little generous to the Australians, but they’d demolished us. It rained steadily for most of the Sunday, and then all of the Monday, which we spent loitering around indoor facilities. A wine trip on Tuesday and a flight home on Wednesday was all she wrote for a magic holiday, not ruined by the result at all. See, I followed my team, supported my team, loved Vaughan’s 177, loved watching Harmison’s promise, liked what I saw out of the guys keeping going in the field, but we were outclassed. Simple as.

There’s a lovely picture, one of my favourites of me, which I won’t share, at the end of the game in front of the scoreboard. Behind me is a hubbub of England fans, all not leaving, all staying to support the team, and drink…. and that for me will be my most abiding memory of that tour.

Ashes Panel

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Just put up on Twitter that five lucky people (or unlucky) have just had the first set of questions e-mailed to them. Don’t worry if you’ve volunteered and you haven’t got some, because you will be next (or the one after) and all will get at least one set before the series starts. That’s the aim.

If you want to be on it (and I’m going to volunteer a few of you if you don’t) then drop me a line on dmitriold@hotmail.co.uk – I’ll need your e-mail address.

This might work, and I seem to think it will, or it might die a death, but we try here on Being Outside Cricket!

Also added a number of new random header shots, all from Ashes tests, all pictures taken by me. You’ll recognise one instantly if you were a reader of HDWLIA.

Dmitri’s Ashes Memories – Part 3 – TV Watching in 1985

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Filling in a quick fifteen or so minutes in my lunchbreak I thought I’d take myself away from the personal appearances and instead look back at my favourite TV watching experience of the Ashes; 1985.

It wasn’t really a vintage series. You got the impression that England were far stronger in all departments, but like so many Aussie teams, we couldn’t nail them. That was until an amazing spell by Richard Ellison at Edgbaston, but more of that later.

I was a schoolboy cricketer at the time, going up from year-based cricket to the 1st and 2nd XI structure at my school. The 2nd ODI coincided with the only time I ever carried my bat in a cricket match (11 not out out of 36) for which honour I was dropped from the team a fortnight later. I have not changed much and had an almighty strop and told them where they could poke their bloody cricket (I played one more game, where I batted 10 to come in the last two overs to save the game. OK, but the number 9 was the kid who batted 11 for our year team and was awful as a batsman. The explosion after that…) I digress. I became our 1st XI scorer (and going on to score for England Schools) and this meant sitting in the scorebox listening to TMS while scoring our matches in the early part of the tour. Most notably the 1st Test at Headingley.

Now 1985 made me fall for Tim Robinson as a player. Sorry, but I was never a Foxy Fowler fan, and despite making 201 in Madras (as it was known then) two tests before the Headingley test, someone had to make way for Graham Gooch. It was Fowler, and Robinson made sure that this would last at least until the West Indies quicks dismantled him the following winter. England also brought back John Emburey, to replace venerable Pat Pocock. A winning team dropping players for those who put personal gain over their country…. let that statement stand.

Headingley memories are a headline after day 1 that said “Hilditch Carts The Rubbish”. England would have the last laugh over Andy, but he made an excellent first day hundred, but we still managed to eke out wickets. Australia’s innings fell away a little, making 331. I particularly liked Greg Ritchie’s batting and thought he was one for the future, but he didn’t really go on. Simon O’Donnell had made a century against the MCC (captained, I think, by Lord HawHaw Nicholas) but copped a first baller from Botham (LBW). England’s reply was interrupted by rain on the second day, but there had been a recovery after we lost Gooch (LBW) and Gower (caught behind) off new Aussie quick Craig McDermott. Gatting and Robinson put on a hundred, Lamb came in and made 38, and then into the bear pit came Ian Botham, with bright highlights in his mullet and a bad attitude. The great memory was him plonking Jeff Thomson into the stands for 6 and Thommo giving the ubiquitous salute to the Western Terrace! Robinson carried on and on, Emburey cracked a square cut that Richie Benaud thought was one of the hardest hit fours he’d ever seen, and even everyone’s favourite MD of England Cricket managed an aplomb-filled half century. Robinson, in his first test innings in England, made 175. England had a lead of 202.

I remember it being quite attritional getting the wickets on the Monday, but we had 5 down by the end of play, with David Boon and Wayne Phillips likely to stand in our way. Hilditch and Wessles put on over a hundred for the second wicket, but I was in the middle of exams so don’t think I got to watch much of it! I do remember watching Phillips go on to 91 and looking mightily impressive in doing so. Aussie made 324, with Emburey taking five wickets, and England wobbled in getting the runs. The match finished in farce when a steepling hook from Lamb was heading down Geoff Lawson’s throat, except he was surrounded by loads of fans running onto the pitch and had no chance. In modern day cricket this is never going to happen, and I could imagine the po-faced reaction to it if it did, but I don’t know, it was funny at the time. England had won by five wickets and were 1-0 up in the series.

The second test at Lord’s had a lot to live up to. The first day of the game coincided with a school cricket match to score, and I listened all day as England continuously lost wickets, making 290. Craig McDermott took 6 more English wickets, with Gower top scoring with 86. Did Gatting get out padding up? I seem to recall he might have…. Australia saw 290 and thought they were in with a shout. They were quickly 24 for 2 and 80 for 3, then 101 for 4 and it was game on. However, one of those wickets wasn’t Allan Border, and in that summer, the Aussies were not dead until Border was killed off. There was the infamous Gatting “catch that wasn’t” when Border was in his 80s I believe, but in alliance with Greg Ritchie, Border took Australia past the England score. Ritchie made 94, O’Donnell 48 and the captain a mighty 196. Australia were dismissed just before the end of day 3 for 425, and then made immediate inroads into the England team by dismissing both openers so that England finished the day 37/2 and had two night-watchment batting. They both went rapidly on day 4, and but for a partnership between Mike Gatting (75 not out) and Ian Botham (85 – batting at 8!) England would possibly have lost more comfortably. Nice to see our MD make a nice round one with aplomb – a first baller to Bob Holland who took 5 for 68.

Australia wobbled in getting the 127 needed, and if we’d have got Border early, we might have won. At 65 for 6, memories of 1981 were being invoked, but Border was still there, and Wayne Phillips made a 32 ball 29 to take his team to the brink of victory. This was an innings that caused Richie Benaud to say “word goes around that Wayne Phillips doesn’t know what a crisis is”. O’Donnell smacked the winning runs, and Australia’s choke-hold of Lord’s remained.

I’ll come back to this series as breakt-time is over. Any thoughts from you lot on this first part of the series?

An Ashes Exchange Of Views – Part 2 – Dennis asks, Dmitri Answers

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So you’ve read part one….. Now on to the questions set by Dennis of Dennis Does Cricket to me. These are my honest views, and feel free to take them to pieces if you wish!

1) Australia has the Brutal issue of having to squeeze four world class quicks into three spots. Who are the lucky three and why? 

England fans cannot believe you won’t pick Ryan Harris. He appears to have achieved that status reserved for a few Australians, in that I get the sense he’s really liked! I think we all love to see a bowler who suffers for his craft. That said, England have had enough experience of relying on old crocks with injury issues to know you should always go with the younger fitter model (I recall 2002/3 all too well, waiting on Gough and Flintoff) so unless Hazlewood gets monstered in the early tour matches, you should go with what you had in the West Indies. So it’s Johnson, Starc and Hazlewood, and Harris and Siddle up your sleeve. Of dear lordy.

2) Fawad Ahmed and Nathan Lyon lead the Shield wicket taking table last summer. Should the leg spinner be used in tandem with Nathan Lyon at any of the grounds? What about instead of Lyon?

My blog has Nathan Lyon’s number 1 fan (outside Australia) so I’m not ever suggesting he should not play. Nathan Lyon is a bloody good bowler, and the problem is that when you’ve had superstar spinners in your team, you always shoot for the moon (something we should remember now Lovejoy* isn’t in our team). Fawad Ahmed is an interesting wildcard, but none of the venues we are playing at are going to be raging Bunsens because we don’t have Swann any more. I think our allergy to leg-spin is overplayed a bit, but also the other reason for playing them – that they are great at getting tailenders out – is our problem rather than yours. You seem to take great pleasure in a 90mph left armer coming in to the lower order players and smashing them out. I don’t think there will be any “two spinners” wickets and I cannot see you dropping the lead singer in the Under the Southern Cross ensemble.

*Swann is called Lovejoy on here because of his remarkable similarity in personality to a much loved, sorry much loathed, football geezer of the 90s, called Tim Lovejoy. It’s a running joke.
 
3) How should Australia attempt to reduce the influence of Joe Root? 

I put the same question to you! We’re all going a bit mad about Joe Root, and why not? He has this knack of making big hundreds now, so once he’s in, and past the century mark, he’s not satisfied. The drop down to number 5 has been huge, but it also left a major hole we’ve not filled yet at opener. I’m a little disappointed, to be honest, because I’ve always felt 5 is the armchair position in the batting line-up; you’re not likely to be up against the new ball with fresh bowlers, and you get time before the marshalling of the tail (which Root is good at).

I think Root has the same sort of weaknesses as many other player, i.e. good bowlers, bowling well. Also, Australia will play on the mental side of things. He was dropped in the last series. He also, one innings apart, didn’t cut it as an opener in 2013. He has “mental scars”. We’re comparing him a lot to Steve Smith and I see much the same sort of characteristics in the two players. If they get in, watch out.

4) What tactics by Australia will cause the biggest headaches for the captaincy of Alastair Cook?

What was it Ricky Ponting said about the 2005 series? “Win the first test and let the British press do the rest”. That worked. 🙂 It needs something more tangible than that. He had a point at the time, though.

The one thing that 2014 and the fall-out from the whitewash proved is that Cook is, at the moment, unsackable. I’m aware not everyone agrees with me on that, but look how long we held on to him as ODI skipper against all the evidence. Now he’s scoring some runs again, he’s the saviour returned. He’s leading from the front. We can forgive his tactical abominations. The world has changed in 10 years – the press were complicit in the retaining of Cook – and now the British press are more likely to rally around a losing captain than bury him.

Cook’s series depends on him scoring runs. You’d think, by the way ECB-TV goes on, he’s only ever played one Ashes series, because every time he needed bolstering, the 2010/11 series is mentioned. If the Aussies pray on that off stump weakness, don’t feed his outlet shots, and bowl him to a standstill, he’s not going to hurt you. Whether the public will turn on him, I don’t know. The one side effect of this New Zealand ODI series is that without our behemoths, the new team looks like it is enjoying itself and playing like it. How much that attitude seeps through if we lose early will be interesting. If Cook is scoring runs and we are losing, the press over here might blow a gasket. 

5) Should Shane Watson’s position at 6 be in question?

Do you have anyone better? I’m a believer that if you don’t perform, you shouldn’t have a divine right to play – see Alastair Cook, 2014, see Ian Bell 2015 – but also that if he’s the best player and isn’t letting the side down, for his role, you can lose a lot of ground trying to find someone better. His last test here saw him make his career best, he’s used to the role, and although we laugh about his LBW review skills, he still appears a formidable presence even if he probably doesn’t back it up with stats. His bowling is also really useful for the team as he does perform an important role for Clarke.

Put it this way – if he’s one of your best players, you’re in trouble. If he’s one of your worst players, we’re in trouble. 

6) Will this be Clarke’s final Test series? If so, is Smith ready to fill his shoes? 

You’ll know that better than I, but the mood music appears to suggest Clarke’s coming to the end of the road, and it’s another couple of years before we go out to Australia to get smashed again. He’s won the World Cup, he’ll have another Ashes win in all probability so why not go out on top? I’m not sure what drives him these days.

I don’t really have a feel for Smith’s captaincy, and part of me thinks it is a little too soon. You have a tendency to not play retired captains, and he is just 26. If Australia will stick with him for 8 years even if the results turn for the worse then fine. I don’t think the captaincy has such a corrosive effect on Australian captains than it seems to on English ones in terms of batting form.

You can’t fail to be impressed by his attitude, his mental strength and his results. Wind back to our commentary teams (and yes, me) in 2010/11 when we laughed at his selection! Eating humble pie now.

7) The last Ashes series in the UK saw Australia constantly at 5/150 and requiring Haddin to save the day with the bat. Is this likely to happen again? 

Our propensity to go spectacularly off the rails when it comes to lower order batsmen is gaining legendary status. I have genuine fear that this will be a major difference in the two teams. We are simply not good at blowing away the tail. We don’t have express pace, not really, and we don’t have a spin bowler on form who can tease them out. If you want Exhibit A of this monumental inability, we refer to Day 4 at Headingley – this year it was at New Zealand tailenders, last year it was Angelo Mathews and Rangana Herath. We were pitiful. Haddin was a key last time, but he also, often got a lower order player to stay with him once the top order man he was with got out. It takes two to make partnerships.

So the ball goes into Brad Haddin’s court. Is he the same player as 18 months ago or are there now too many miles on the clock? Are the manner of his dismissals the sign of the twilight of a career? Was the 2013/14 series just a freak?

Frankly, I don’t think you’ll be 150/5 (this is an England piece, so not putting the numbers the wrong way around) very often. I think we’ll make pitches to make it a batting contest, and not feed your strengths. It’s why I fear what David Warner might do.

8) Haddin is averaging less with the bat that Nathan Lyon over the last 12 Test matches. Should Australia be worried about this, given his keeping is at the top its game? 

As long as he’s not keeping a Gilchrist-like figure out of the team, and he’s not a total liability with the bat, then fine. To turn the debate around, we brought Prior back into the test team last summer (with a tear in his achilles that turned out to be career-ending) and held back Jos Buttler. We all thought it was madness at the time, and were proved right. Prior wasn’t the same batsman, and was as mobile as a wheelie-bin behind the stumps. Who is backing up Haddin these days (hastily checks tour squad)? Peter Nevill, it seems, who is 29 and not exactly a young gun, but appears to have been picked on a good batting season for New South Wales.

If Haddin gets blown away early in the series, I’d be interested to see if any pressure is exerted from your press.

9) How should Australia play Anderson? Attack or defence? 

You seemed to have little trouble with him last time out. In fact there’s a school of thought that his tour de force at Trent Bridge in 2013 marked the high-water point for James, and it’s been a lot, lot tougher since. If Anderson isn’t taking wickets, we’re in trouble. You were pretty positive against him last time out in Australia, and rather more cautious over here. I don’t think Warner or Smith in particular are going to let him tie you down.

I know Anderson is a source for much of your “bantz” Dennis, but he’s quite a divisive character on the blog. I believe he’s one the diehard, love England regardless section adore, while some of the more cynical, jaded among us believe he got the record because he stayed upright longer than any of our other decent bowlers in the past 20 years.

I think my attitude to him could best be described as “tepid”. I find him remarkably dour and uninteresting, although I can’t ignore 400 test wickets -it’s a fact and he did it. My belief is that if he were around in 2005 bowling like this, I wouldn’t have picked him in our team. There’s a debate over whether he would have replaced Matthew Hoggard, but not for me (as he’d won us the South Africa series with his spell in Jo’burg). The first test will be key in setting the tone. Let Anderson get on top of you, and your batting might struggle to free the shackles. See him off, weather him at Lord’s where he usually performs, and I think you’ll have got the better of him.

10) Is Stokes capable of stealing a game or two off his own bat? 

No. And I like Ben Stokes. We see Stokes as a KP figure. He doesn’t appear to march to the disciplinary drum. We had someone like that recently.

The rub on KP, and you knew I’d get him in somewhere, is that individual performances are all well and good, but you need to be a team player, a team man, as if individuality doesn’t count as much in jolly old England. Stokes is almost the ultimate individual. He will play the most idiotic shots to get out, or bowl a load of old nonsense. That is the way he plays. He will get drunk on tour, or he’ll punch a locker, and the old heads and the stuffed shirts will sniff and snort, and want to teach him a lesson. I fear for him. He’s not nice amiable Jos, who won’t say a controversial word. He’s brash. He’ll give it a go.

Stokes had a brilliant Lord’s test against New Zealand, and immediately it’s “Flintoff this” or “Botham that” from our hyperbolic press or ECB-TV. There was great focus on his record paced 100, but it wasn’t even his best innings of the match. It was the 90-odd he made in the first innings, pulling us out of the 30/4 mire we were in. He got the two big beasts of New Zealand batting in the second innings, but his bowling is erratic, and while there is a lot of promise there, he’s still not a key cog in the bowling wheel as the other two mentioned above were. He’s the fourth one used, and there is no doubt that is his place.

That said, he’s exciting, he’s got talent, he has an attitude, he plays with passion and his heart on his sleeve. We’re a nation that loves that, when we’re winning, or when that individual is successful. But once that individual has a dip in form, watch out. As we saw last year when the media piled into him over his locker-punching incident and his inability to provide anything last summer. They’ll take the good times and be over him in the bad. That’s us. I think you call it “tall poppy syndrome”.

11) Which Englishmen are likely to quit mid series this time?

Ah. Damien Martyn syndrome, you mean? Well, if we’re 3-0 down I would imagine Alastair Cook might have to quit as captain, but then again, I thought he’d have gone ages ago. Anderson would be the likeliest, or maybe Broad, but they would be extreme long shots. I think Bell is more likely to be dropped than quit.

That tour was such a disaster it makes you wonder what was really going on. We are still wondering!!!!

12) Swann was the difference last time in the UK. Is Moeen any chance of getting close to having Swanns impact? Why no Rashid?

Ian Bell was the difference in the last series, and Stuart Broad too (as well as a one man show with the ball by Anderson at Trent Bridge) so I don’t agree with the immediate contention. Moeen Ali is, by most people’s definition, a decent county bat and a decent spin bowler, but he’s nowhere near Swann’s level. We did what we usually do as a media in this country – blow too much smoke up his arse when he has a couple of decent performances, and then say we told you so when he struggles. He now bats at 8, which is scandalous for a man with his ability if not results, and his bowling has been disappointing if you compare it to his early days.

Rashid is an unknown quantity to me in the long form of the game. I’m not a Yorkie, my county plays second division cricket, and I don’t like judging spin bowlers on one day form? Why no Rashid? Well, ask the brains trust out in the Caribbean that. He wasn’t played in the first game, supposedly, because he bowled badly in the nets. And boy, were we told he bowled badly in the nets. Again and again and again. That’s the way we roll. After that, Moeen came straight back into the team, and not pulled up any trees. It doesn’t look promising.

My thanks for Dennis’s co-operation, and he has expressed an interest in being on the Ashes panel this summer. It was a lot of fun for me putting the questions and answers together last weekend. Remember, Dennis can be found on his blog – http://dennisdoescricket.com/ – and on Twitter https://twitter.com/DennisCricket_ or @DennisCricket_ – so follow his unsubtle (unfunny, always!) japes at our expense……

Dmitri’s Ashes Memories – Part 2 – The First Day’s Test Cricket

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I thought I’d write a short piece on my first ever day’s test cricket. A friend had a ticket for the 2nd day of the final test at The Oval in 1997 but then had to pull out at the last minute. At this stage the prospect of me ever getting to see a day of Ashes cricket felt remote, so to be offered this joyous thing the day before was mind-blowing. I cajoled a day off from my boss, cursed the weather forecast that said it would be one of those on-off days and prayed they were wrong. I went with two people I didn’t know that well, but knew some of my cricket club crowd would be there somewhere or other!

The journey from the wilds of South East London and then on the crowded tube train from London Bridge added to the excitement (and trepidation). The fast moving, threatening clouds were a hindrance, no, a bloody annoyance. I’d waited for this opportunity for years and the great British weather was going to spoil it. I knew it. All this excitement for nothing….. but still, no liquid came from the sky. There was hope.

Ticket in hand I went to the seat, which was in one of those stands which has now been replaced by the OCS behemoth. It might have been the Jardine Stand, it might have been the Fender. It didn’t matter one jot. What did was that England had been skittled for shirt buttons on the first day (by McGrath) and although Tuffers had nabbed a couple of wickets the previous night, England needed lots of wickets quickly to stay in the game.

As the players came out the weather closed in. The morning session saw at least two rain breaks, but in between the cricket was hard fought. At that time Greg Blewett was batting at three and he was mostly a flowing, exciteable batsman, but was in prime dig in mode. I seem to recall we got Mark Waugh early on. The Aussies had resumed on 77 for 2 (he says looking up the scorecard) and Mark got out with the score on 94. A 46 run partnership ensued between Steve Waugh and Blewett befor Caddick won an LBW decision against the former and Stewart stumped the latter off Tuffers 10 runs later. 150 for 5 in reply to 180 meant the game was back in the balance, even if the Aussies just held the upper hand.

I was absorbed into the contest. This didn’t feel like a dead rubber to me, but a cut and thrust contest between the oldest international rivals. You felt like you were somewhere special, in amongst it, living every ball of a gripping contest. It would be the first of sixteen consecutive Fridays at The Oval for me and I was hooked. And it got better. Ian Healy went after a scratchy old knock of 2 in 34 balls. Shaun Young, making his only appearance for Australia went immediately after, both caught behind by Stewart off Tufnell. 164 for 7 and Tufnell had six of them. This was brilliant.

Ricky Ponting remained in. At this stage of his career he was the young buck, fighting for his place in the herd, and his ton at Headingley two tests before had been a massively important innings. Now the man who would be a thorn in our side for years to come was the one man holding us back. He was redoubtable, mixing defence and attack as he eked out 40 vital runs before being the last man out with the score on 218 and a lead of 38. Except it wasn’t – overnight the TV replays upgraded a four made by Blewett to a six, and the final score was 220. Tufnell finished with figures of 7/66 and we had a game.

The weather stayed fair, I managed to get into the section where my club mates were, which was much more in line with the pitch. I saw England lose three wickets before the deficit was erased. Atherton fell first, but not to McGrath but Kasprowicz, who was embarking on a 7 for too. Stewart and Butcher fell LBW before the close, Hussain was rendered shotless (he made 2 in 50 balls) but stayed until the end, while I got to see my hero of the time, Thorpe do his thing and keep the England ship afloat. Just. The day finished with England 55/3. The third day, as we probably all remember was a thriller, as England defended a 124 target and bowled the Aussies out for 124. I think I went to see Millwall play York City (we lost 3-2).

The day was a blur. I had to use the scorecard as my prime trigger of memories. I just have a memory of Blewett and Ponting keeping us just enough at bay to keep the Aussies on top. But it was a day just to be treasured. Now, having gone to a lot of test cricket and such stuff, the memories of the first day seem almost childish (and I was in my late 20s at the time) and naive. But it’s that feeling of being a very insignificant part of history that makes it special. Awe inspiring. A privilege. I never forget that last bit. It’s a privilege to be able to be there. It shouldn’t be a matter of being privileged to do so.

The buzz, the business, the crowd. There’s no better place to be when you don’t feel like you are being soaked for cash. I did not get that sense then, and in fact for many, many years. This was an event where you could bring your own beer, for heaven’s sake. What was not to like?

I got a really great first day. I’d be interested to hear about your first day’s test cricket. Did it impress you as much as mine did for me?

With another Dmitri Ashes Memory, I bid you all a great day.

A Dmitri Ashes Memory – Brisbane 2002

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Ashes

Well, hello. Settle in to a comfortable chair and let me introduce this little piece. I will pick out an Ashes memory of mine, and with my usual traits of brevity and waffle-free prose, explain what it meant to me and why you might give a stuff.

So I thought I’d turn to my first ever overseas test match to kick this little segment off. Back in the very old days of How Did We Lose In Adelaide, the blog was originally conceived as a spin off from a general diary I was doing at the time. I thought a cricket blog would work. What I had in mind, which is normal when I’m phenomenally bored in the office where most ideas gestate (either that or on the walk to the station), was to write a long story on my travails of the 2006/7 tour where I saw the calamitous loss in Adelaide, the loss in Perth (and missed the Gilchrist ton) and basically lose my sanity along with my wallet, and sunglasses, and money etc. as over a year of hell and damnation caught up with me (some of you might know both my parents died within 9 months of each other in 2005-6).

In the scene setter for another piece of work I never finished (I wanted to watch the whole test ball by ball, but my old DVD video recorder broke down during the test and my brother couldn’t retrieve it all) I recalled the 2002 tour and my first ever overseas test. At this time I was a single man, on the cusp of a relationship with someone mentioned obliquely in a previous post, and with some spare cash and a great mate (and still a great mate although he blew me out tonight) in Sir Peter, who comes on here occasionally, we hit on an idea in early 2002 to invest in a magical holiday (for me especially as I’d been no further than Turkey) to Australia and to see two tests matches. To say I bored my work mates about this (many of who go long haul now, when I don’t – trips to the in-laws don’t count) would be an understatement. By the time it came to actually leave, I was as excited as I’ve ever been. It was, without doubt. the greatest holiday I’ve ever been on. Awe and wonderment at every turn. A sheer disbelief that I was actually there. And nothing summed it up more than the walk from our apartment in near South Brisbane station (the apartments were called West End) to the ground. This was as big as it got. I just thought how lucky I was to be there. Blessed.

To inject some current day anger into this, this is the sort of stuff that renders the absolute weapon’s grade cobblers DucDeBlangis said in his BT: clusterf*ck today. I went around the world, spent a lot of my money, and had three and a half weeks leave to watch a team, and cricket was the primary focus, I knew would get hammered. I drank, I sung the songs, I bantered with the Aussies, I had a whale of a time. Loyalty? Pack it in you absolute moron. Do not ever question my loyalty because I despised what went on.

Anyway, back to Brisbane. I thought I’d dig out my piece on HDWLIA, which is a bit dry but catpured some of the essence of what it meant, and how it went.

Overseas I’d seen England’s 384 run demolition by the Aussies at the Gabba in 2002 . That was notable for one major thing – the toss. England won it, but because Nasser Insane had no faith in his bowling attack, he stuck the Aussies in on a belting batting surface. At the end of Day 1 Australia were 364 for 2, Bully Boy Hayden had 186, Ponting looked serene in scoring 123 and we traipsed away from the ground all melancholy and deflated. Although we had a reasonable Friday, a half-decent Saturday, the game was up well before England set out on scoring 464 to win, and when the collapse ensued, and England were dismissed for a paltry 79, we were on the Gold Coast availing ourselves of Bald Eagle’s swimming pool and barbecue facilities. Oh, I almost forgot, but Bully Boy Hayden helped himself to a second innings ton too.

I think a number of things stick out from my first test overseas. The service in the ground was first class – no ten/fifteen minute waits for the beer or food. The stadium itself was a little soul-less but the atmosphere generated by what was, in essence, a “footy” stadium now was pretty good. I’d seen England get put to the sword at The Oval on relatively few occasions, but to see it having paid a good deal of time, money and effort seemed somehow less painful. The memories of the crowded Gabba Hotel after the day’s play were also fresh, with the constant horse-racing action on the TV. There was our incredibly haired acquaintance from Birmingham, I wish I remember his name (maybe Sir Peter can help), who put us in the direction of the Wotif.com site which helped us to a couple of bargains on this and the 2006 tour – another top chap, and absolute diamond who smuggled us into the top tier. Then was our old mate [name removed]… but less of that the better. I do wonder what would have happened if he’d taken us even further down the road before my suspicions got the better of me.

As for England’s display, there was not a lot to credit it. Simon Jones looked good before he got that terrible knee injury that has so blighted his career. The fielding on the first day was awful with some absolutely horrific dropped chances. Hoggard dropped Hayden when he skied the ball up in the air, hardly laying a finger on it, while Vaughan dropped the same batsman to an absolute sitter. I still have the video from that 1st day and Botham’s reactions were priceless.

I still have a ton of memories of the interviews and newspaper reviews I did for the Sir Peter produced “Live and Uncut Down Under” – one of my favourites was the interview on Day 4 when I’m looking at the Sunday papers in Brisbane. As I start my review you can hear a crack of the bat, and the cheers of the Aussie crowd. I look to the action, and then turn to the camera and say, rather sardonically “Matthew Hayden has just hit Craig White’s first ball for six…..” It summed up my mood. The feeling that all hope had long since evaporated and that the Aussie juggernaut cared little for English endeavour had pervaded my enlightened mood. As we left The Gabba at lunch on the 4th day we had plans to return the next day if England were making a fight of it. As our train pulled out of South Brisbane station en route for Helensvale, news reached us via Danno on the text to Sir Peter to tell us Michael Vaughan was out second ball for 0 – and England were 1 for 1. Well, we thought, that makes the task harder for us….

Beep Beep – Oh no, Trescothick has also gone and it is 3 for 2. I exclaimed “tell Danno to Go to Bed Man…he’s making us depressed” – to which, shortly thereafter, he did. When we got to Helensvale we saw the farce on TV as England collapsed to 79 all out, and we enjoyed a day on the Gold Coast and the very charming town of Beaudesert before returning to our place the night after and flying off to Port Douglas the following morning….

A little fleeting but such great memories. I may add a couple of pics to this later, although regrettably, this pre-dates my digital camera days. I do remember texting my great mate Zeitkratzer Stockhausen (a colleague who posts here very rarely) and saying “I’m walking down Vulture Street to the Gabba. I just don’t believe this is me doing this” or something like that. I can’t put into words the feelings I had doing it. Awe. That might sum it up.

Entering the stadium and taking it all in was overwhelming. A steward said to me “you are really fair skinned, make sure you wear that hat all day” which was nice. I remember talking to two guys who had come from the countryside for their only day’s cricket that year and chatting away. Another in front of me had come from Lancashire and was touting Jimmy Anderson’s inclusion in the squad when Simon Jones had that horrible injury. I recall a particularly aggressive man swearing all day at Matthew Hoggard. I remember the toss, and my reaction is on video. No, you can’t see it. I remember 364 for 2, and the Vaughan drop. It was vivid. It was an amazing, wonderful, sensory overdrive day. It wasn’t particularly alcohol fuelled, as I wanted to watch cricket, not drink beer. We saved the main session for the following night. To top off day 1, Sir Peter’s school mate drove up to Helensvale, we had a beer with him round the corner from our apartment, he had a lovely conversation on the phone with Sir Peter’s father, and from that day on Peter is always prefixed in my company as “Sir” and I was always “Lord”. I’ll tell that story another day.

We weren’t there for the end of the match, which will probably have me strung up on some charge of disloyalty, as we went down to Sir Peter’s mate’s place just off the Gold Coast and had a lovely time. I don’t think anything quite tops seeing a test match abroad for the first time, and although I’ve never been back to the Gabba, I’ll always look on it fondly.

It certainly won’t be for being present at a test when someone made a ton in each innings. I was never a fan of Matthew Hayden!

More Ashes memories as and when, but feel free to add your own of Brisbane if you have any. I’m thinking of Day One at Lord’s 2005 for the next one, but you never know. It’s these experiences that make me love the game and write about it, and importantly feel passionate and, yes, angry about it. How can something you care about so much, bring you to this level of anger. I think we all know why.

Have a great evening.