Hello everyone. It’s been a while. There’s been some exciting cricket played while I have been away from here. The media has gone all in for the “saviours” of test cricket. What’s not to like? Well. I have some concerns. We’ll get to them. But let’s start with an opportunity.
Two weeks ago I received a message from a work colleague. Would I be interested in a ticket for the Friday of the Lord’s Test? England v Australia, second test. I think you might guess my reaction…
“How much?”
“£120”
“Nah, you’re alright.”
There is so much sorrow in that response. Like it wasn’t even given a thought. That’s a No. Life has moved on and changes have taken place that have altered a lot of my foundations. I’m not a Londoner by residence any more. I live near Stonehenge now. Even living in London, that’s still too much to pay. It would take me less time to get to Taunton than Lord’s.
The price is just too much in these economic times, with a much higher mortgage, higher running costs of life. That I could even consider paying £120, with the £50 return ticket by train, the cost of feeding and watering myself for the day, taking the weather risk, and whether the teams can be bothered to stick in an 80 over, let alone 90 over shift for the day, and I thought not. It wasn’t even close. No regret. There are plenty of other, much better off, and much more committed supporters of the game, and frankly, good luck to them. I still love the sport, but it’s a diminished love these days, and I get my kicks elsewhere. If you follow me on Twitter you will know it is in non-league football, and well down the pyramid too.. Top level sport and its costs have passed me by. The economy and my enthusiasm waning. But there is a spark? Test cricket remains fun. So enjoy, from the sofa, what you can.
Which leaves me more detached when it comes to cricket blogging and following. I had a look before I wrote this piece, and it appears the last thing I wrote on Being Outside Cricket was over a year ago. Before the Bazball Bonanza took over. I know the other blog stalwarts have had their say on the way England play, and I thought Chris did a masterful job for the pro-lobby. But I am not quite the fan that most others seem to be. I am in the minority, but not a vocal one. 2014 me would have been blasting off the ceiling about throwing away a series win in New Zealand on the back of our godforsaken ego, but then realising that we would not have won the four preceding overseas tests playing the way we used to. I think my anger was in enforcing the follow-on. That was pure ego. It abandoned sense. It was different for difference sake. it provided an entertaining match, which due to me packing in everything that isn’t Sky, I couldn’t watch (those cost of living cuts again).
You can change approach if sense dictates you need to. So far the media, well the UK media, are giving Bazball a free pass. It’s bish, it’s bash, it’s bosh, it’s Baz and Ben. But a part of me dies when Joe Root, as good a player as we have ever produced, who when flowing naturally is majestic, is ramp shotting early in his innings and looking like giving away his wicket. A part of me dies when Ollie Pope miscues and gets away with it, and in the case of the Ireland innings, repeatedly. There is the concept of return to mean, of balance, and if so England could be in for a rude awakening.
But it’s entertaining Peter. It is never dull with this England team. Just live life and let yourself be free. Go with the flow. Sure. They aren’t going to read an article like this and go “that moany old KP loving bore don’t like it, so let’s go back to being 30 for 4 every week”. Nor should they. Believe me, if this style means we bash up the Aussies, unable to respond to the aggression and ferocity of Ben Duckett being able to achieve what the world’s best openers struggle to do, succumbing to Crawley’s fluent shot-making, and preventing keeping Harry Brook to human levels, I’d pay my train ticket and be at the parade (they’d need to be quick to squeeze it in before the Hundred, though). The canary in every Ashes failure goldmine is there. Key bowlers appearing to fall by the wayside, veterans on their third “last hurrah” needing to carry the load, and the gnawing feeling we are putting all our positive thoughts into the “hope” category rather than “expectation”.
The irony that the print and TV media, and some of those so protective of Sir Alastair and so disgusted with that awful Pietersen chap, who was derided for his “that’s the way I play” comments, are now so in line with the “that’s the way we play” mantra now adopted. Indeed Stokes appeared to say there would be no way into the team for a modern day Sir Alastair. I’m not laughing. No, honestly, I’m not. You’d think these Bazball Barnburners were just waiting for their hero to come along and take up the assault, and not the same people who threw themselves in front of the flak for their hero Sir Al, and the ECB. By the way, much respect for Sir Al for playing on for Essex. Huge respect. Loves the game. That much is clear.
Yes, let’s be clear. I enjoy watching the England team, and that’s not to be sniffed at. They haven’t been entertaining for a while now and the last year has been a fun time. I am not going to be the one to just say “you are all wrong” because I enjoy being contrary. Heavens, given the mental health stuff I have been going through, my counsellor thinks I am mad enough without bringing this stuff into my sessions! I’ve told her many times that people say my angry writing is good, and yet I know, deep down, that the blog was an exercise in self-harm for a long time. Be angry. The readers loved angry.
But anger isn’t a positive thing, not for me now. I just want to enjoy sport with meaning, and that last part is important. Meaning. That the prize is delivered through endeavour and spirit and not bought. That upsetting conventional methods, which I find almost unsettling because it attacks my value system (and I couldn’t play a shot in front of square to save my life), takes some getting used to. But when I hear Nasser Hussain say to Stokes, you are 300 in front, 2-1 up in the Ashes, last test, last day, three wickets down, are you declaring, and Stokes says “yes” then I want to scream. Out loud. You’d ego throw away a series, the one to us, rightly or wrongly, that matters the most on your own principles/ That’s not meaning. It’s madness.
Of course, does he really mean it? I don’t know. That he would even say it has me reaching for my non-existent calming pills.
“You can’t control what he does, Peter. So why let something make you anxious that you can’t control. What will being anxious achieve?”
My counsellor never watched Millwall chuck away a play-off place on the May Bank Holiday. I could see that car crash coming.
I deal in logic. Logic suggests that for the first time in 22 years, we will lose a home series against Australia. There looks to be mountains of runs in Smith and Labuschagne. Head will contribute, Green looks dangerous with bat and ball, Carey might contribute a few, Opener is a clear weakness, but you either trust your instincts that the two have failed a lot in England, or that the law of averages suggests one of them might “get it”. The bowling looks miles better than ours. We could, potentially, be carrying a passenger in Stokes. Broad and Anderson have to end sometime. We have no extreme pace. I think we’ll still be fretting over Jofra’s elbow in 2027.
Sport isn’t logical, not all the time. I thought we would lose in 2005, and especially after the first test. That team had built up over a number of years, and brought in talent, especially in the bowling department. They had nurtured Harmison and Jones, had the steadiness and swing of Hoggard, the power of Flintoff, and the under-rated with bat and ball, Ashley Giles. The bowling here is two OAPs in cricketing age, a steady seamer with fitness doubts, and Potts and Tongue are not Harmison and Jones. But if they play well, they might just get three wins. You never know. The batting might fire on all cylinders.
I am so amused at how Bazball appears to have got under the skin of the Aussie media and resident rent-a-gobs. That’s probably worth it all on its own. Sure, some of them pretend they are joking, but I see them. They want it both ways. Malcolm Conn will only see it one way. I am not sure why I bother looking at him at all!
It should be fun. I doubt I am going to get to see much of it as work is busy, spare time is spent on motorways and trains, non-league football is my true sporting love now, and, well, there’s just not enough hours in the day.
Not sure how we are going to play it over the course of the next six weeks or so on Being Outside Cricket. I am a bit of an absentee landlord these days, but I am sure I might stick my oar into the pond. Whatever, the one thing I am determined to do is enjoy what I do watch because life is too damn short to get angry with everything. If England had stayed on their path, they would have been beaten. In 2019 we won a dead rubber, in all essence, and relied upon a miracle that will never be repeated. Now we have a punchers chance, maybe a bit more, but England need to put Australia on the ropes early.
If all else looks grim, I can turn away and read one of my secondhand book purchases. Yes, for 50p I bought “That Will Be England Gone” by Michael Henderson. Call the nurse!
Being Outside Cricket 
Is Mark Wood not considered extreme pace?
I think you are broadly correct though, England will struggle.
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He won’t be if he’s playing five Tests in six weeks.
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I don’t think a single pacer on either side will play every game. Maybe Cummins.
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Is Mark Wood ever fit? Forgot about him….not been mentioned really.
Yes, he has pace. Sometimes.
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It’s a good question, I was under the impression that he was being saved for the Ashes but he could just as easily be broken. Haven’t seen a thing about his fitness.
He’s a big asset if fit. That’s a Mount Rushmore sized if though.
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Good to have you here. Here in India it was silly to feel disappointed after a kangaroo like jump that the players went from playing 60 days in IPL to the World Test Championship. Anyways, the result came on the first day itself.
England have been quite Quiet from sometime ever since they played and well dominated Pakistan. But let see, what are times bringing.
Hope you will be writing more often.
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Spare a thought too for the opposition in your next series–who are somehow supposed to transition from playing the final of a 50-over World Cup qualifying competition in Zimbabwe (always supposing they get there) on a Sunday (or maybe Monday if it’s rain-affected) to playing a test in the West Indies on the Wednesday morning! I think you’ll be getting a few debutants there…
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Good to hear your words again, I suspect you’re right about bazball but I’m with Chris in that I think for our team (apart from Root) it is a better way of playing because they can’t craft innings anymore and I think the Aussie bowlers will lose their heads if it works early. (Don’t like it up ‘em)
As usual (same in 2005) our test venue du jour has fucked us off after 5 years of consistent attendance because Australia means they can only sell us 4 tickets instead of the 6/7 they are prepared to sell us every other year, so no live test. Instead the chaps are all coming over on Saturday for a barbecue and SkySports / radio in the garden. Not the same but it’s the best we can do. Glad you are keeping well
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Your back MiLud! Me too. Tricky one this Ashes. After the World Series practice match Australia look very good. But who knows? It could all go horribly wrong very quickly but just maybe it won’t. The BBC hype is a load of all cods but I am looking forward to it and have forked out for Headingley and t’Oval. Maybe next time I’ll stick to county days out while it lasts. T20 is sofa time as I’d spend more time travelling than queuing for overpriced beverages. Hope to catch up soon. Keep writing and rolling. Sir Peter
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Sorry for the typo…”load of old cods”
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…or maybe “the lord of all cods…”!
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Good to see you write some interesting thoughts Boss!! How differently we now see cricket from 2014. 9 years is a long time. Your observation on the irony of the English cricket media establishment embracing “that’s the way I play” is of course delicious. The same people who wanted KP’s head hung on Westminster bridge now cheering on Bazball is so absurd as to be hilarious.
I just burst out laughing a few years ago when Strauss endorsed the IPL. Have you heard his Lords speech recently? Apparently the IPL is the greatest thing since sliced bread, and that it has played a huge part in Englands white ball game improvement. And he and the ECB now fully support England players participating. Really? REALLY? In that case why did you as captain with your coach Flower do everything in your power to stop KP playing it back then? I can’t take these people seriously.
Having said all that….. I fully supported “Bazz’s “ appointment as coach, and Stokes as captain. It really couldn’t get any worse after the folly of the previous years. Those who thought that the captain of England had to go to the right sort of school now face the absurd position of dumping their principles once again in an over priced pint of Lords fizzy beer. (Oh dear, it was the same people who wanted to watch KP walk the plank.) The thing is….it is now the only logical decision in the climate cricket has created for itself. If White ball is the only game in town, you are only going to have white ball style cricketers to play test cricket going forward. Especially the batsman.
The last year has been really Hollywood storylines regard Englands test team. Coaches, sports phycologists, and so called experts all thrown to the wind of theory. England fans deserved something much better than the captaincy of Joe Root, and conveyer belt coaching doctrine and theories.
I must admit I thought it would not work in Pakistan on their pitches. But no. Confidence and mental freedom are remarkable things. Having said that I feel uneasy about some of its fake aspects. When Broad said that he was told last year to go up the batting order, and try and hit the first ball for six just to get the crowd up I just grimaced. My heart sank. It’s a publicity stunt. A gimmick. But results are results I guess.
My prediction for the Ashes is an England defeat I’m afraid. And probably a heavy one. I know it’s been a standing joke over the last year that each country has said about England………..”Ah yes, but you haven’t done it against our boys.” And the Aussies more than most. But I think their bowling attack is a bit too cute to let England merrily roll along at five an over. I expect big problems, and our bowling looks blunt, injured and old. I think the Aussie batsman will be a little bit too savvy.
By the way, I put no store on the absurd test championship match just played. Two teams and players who have been playing white ball cricket for well over a month fly into a neutral venue ,with no context, or pre match acclimatisation and are supposed to decide the best test team in world cricket in a one off match. A purely ICC nonsense. And one I have never understood or believed in. Test cricket should be about series. Not cup finals.
My only interest in this series is purely nostalgic. I fear, and am saddened that we are watching the end of test match cricket as it was played for most of my lifetime. And the Ashes was a big part of my sporting lifetime. But that’s life I guess. Hey Broady, why don’t you try and hit the third ball of every other over for six? Roll up, roll up for cricket as a fun fair, a carnival. It will only cost you £120 per ticket plus idiot prices for beverages. ….. You might win a goldfish or some candy floss from the top shelf, or miracles will never cease….maybe even The Ashes! But I doubt it.
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I agree with a lot of what you’ve written, Mark. My head says Australia will win comfortably (though my heart is not listening). The Australian bowling just looks too good. Was it Atherton or Vaughan who said “England will play Boland like a spinner”? Good luck with that. I’m also a bit worried about how Borad and Anderson will go bowling in Australia’s second innings. Still, the name of the game is now entertainment and we will certainly get that.
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Looks like Dom Sibley’s been reading your piece, LCL!
Class anti-Bazball innings…:-)
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What I liked about it was how he was constrained by the shorter 4 day Championship format. Arguably, he was rushing to reach the total by the end of the day.
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This was a far worse defeat for England than some are implying. The official line is this was a close test match that could of gone either way. Well yes, but it didn’t.
England deserved to lose for no other reason than they decided to declare with two wickets still standing on the first day of an Ashes series on a good pitch when they won the toss. There is a certain symmetry to the first and forth innings of this match. Both teams 8 wickets down, but England decided to blithely toss it away by making a declaration with a bloke still on 114 not out, and short of 400 runs. This is when Bazball just looks cretinous. Trying to be too clever and actually disrespecting test cricket and your opponents. By contrast Australia eked out every run and got the job done.
What’s even more worrying is England lost despite preventing five of Australia’s top order from making any serious runs. What happens when some of them start to score some runs? And once again Englands batsman showed how vulnerable they are against Nathan Lyon who picked up 4 wickets in both innings. England spinners failed to deliver wickets in the second innings. I think Lyon is one of the most underrated bowlers in world cricket.
Bazball should be about playing without fear and playing to one’s strengths, but when it becomes trying to be too clever by half it seems reckless. There is a fine line between trying to be inventive and just amateurish.
England will now need to win at least two of the remaining four tests to win the ashes. Possible, but unlikely.
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Slight minor correction. Root was not out 118 not 114.
One further point. The declaration only looks less worse in hindsight than it really was because of the overs lost later in the game. The four innings totalled 355 overs, plus the six overs for change of innings. That means out of the potential 450 overs in the match there were 89 overs not bowled. I suppose England could claim they saw the weather forecast for days three, four and five and factored that in but really? You are going to make first day declarations based on weather forecasts for four days time?
Also, England failed in both innings to force Australia to take the new ball. 78 overs in the first innings by choice, at admittedly a quick fire 5 an over. And only 63 overs in the second innings. The decision to declare on day one after only 78 overs bowled with 2 wickets remaining was the wrong call then and in the final result. The weather only made it look less bad at the end than it was. What’s more it didn’t even work as England failed to get any wickets that evening.
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I don’t have a problem with the declaration. I didn’t at the time. We could have added 50, we might have added 10, or 0. The chance to get a new ball, with two bites at it, and with Warner v Broad, seemed a risk worth taking. That was my call then, and not hindsighting it.
I didn’t like Bairstow being picked as keeper. I did as batsman, because he was playing like a god last year. Again, and people might shoot me down here, I’d play Foakes instead of Pope. There’s a real Ian Bell 2005 feel about this. Even his double ton v Ireland wasn’t that convincing (not to me) and I like Ollie a lot. Put Brook or Stokes at 3.
I might write a post on yesterday, but probably won’t. Fed up with arguing over something like these games. But I will say it again, some of those most vociferous about the selfish nature of KP, and back in the day David Gower, for giving wickets away, because it was the way they played, are perfectly comfortable with us losing a test match like this. Indeed, Oliver Holt will brook no criticism whatsoever of our approach. Like three players out when in the 40s in the second innings is acceptable.
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We will have to agree to disagree on the declaration I’m afraid Lord.
This was the first day of a test series, with our best player not out on 118 on a ground England traditional do pretty well on, and we just decided to hand them two wickets for free. Scoring runs on most test pitches is usually easier in the first innings than in the second. And with less pressure.
The only reason this game was close was because the Aussie top order, bar the opener, misfired. Oh and the weather.
The other worrying issue is once again Englands spinner failed to be a force on the last day. Is Ali really our best bet or are we back to playing spinners who can bat as well? I know he had a bruised finger but was that not the same issue five years ago in Australia when we didn’t take Rashid and had to keep playing him as our first choice spinner, a guy who had a bad finger for the first three test matches? It’s not his fault, but if his finger is not fully right next test match surely we need someone who is fully fit?
You play at Birmingham, in an opening Ashes series, you win the toss on a reasonable pitch, you score 390 odd on the first day and then you give away two of your wickets for free including a guy not out on 118.
The Aussies were there for the taking in this match and England and Bazball were not ruthless enough. England were very generous to their opponents here.
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Completely agree that if Ali isn’t clearly fit for Lord’s then he shouldn’t play. Besides anything else, what happens if he then ends up bowling 40 overs in Australia’s first innings? Even if his finger’s not too bad at the start of the match, it could well leave him unable to bowl during the second. And then, as you say, we’re back to the 2017 Ashes.
They might also like to consider whether the same thing might happen to other spinners who replace him. Rehan Ahmed has bowled 212 overs in 11 games in his entire red-ball career, and 101 in seven this year–so that’s an average of less than 20 a game. Liam Dawson has bowled 74 in seven games this season–and heaven knows why he’s even being mentioned: he’s no more test standard than he was last time they picked him; he’s a defensive bowler who can bat fairly well but who is really going to struggle to bowl out test match sides (see also Liam Patterson-White, Tom Hartley, Danny Briggs, Dom Bess). And Will Jacks–another batting all-rounder–also only averages 20 overs a game since he started to bowl full-time last year, and has bowled 31 overs in five games since his test debut seven months ago.
At the risk of repeating a cliche, it really does show how dire England’s spin bowling stocks are. The only ones who look as if they even might be test prospects (other than Jacks and Rehan, who are surely more replacements for Stokes when he retires) seem to be Parkinson, Virdi and Carson–all of whom have been treated very poorly by their county coaches in the last year or so, none of whom are in form, and two of whom can’t get in their county sides and will almost certainly (or already certainly!) move county next year.
The idea of a Lions tour to India next winter is a good one–but it’s too late if it runs alongside the main tour. The tour needs to be in December or early January and should include two of the specialists above plus both of Jacks and Ahmed (of whom they should play three in the starting XI). They’re going to need them for the full tour–especially if (when?) Ali decides not to take his unretirement any further and/or Leach hasn’t fully recovered from his injury (and where exactly is he going to get the match practice to get him up to speed for India?) So they’re going to need to know which ones to select!
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Is it just me or is England’s banging on about the ideology of Bazball not only starting to sound really brainless but very boring?
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I agree completely Marek!
And I support in principle the Bazball idea of our batsman playing to their strengths by being more attacking and playing with freedom because that is their natural way, and they are more comfortable with that style.
Plus, having them try and push and prod around defensively has not worked very well in the previous five years before the new Bazball era.
My issue with Bazball is it has become a cult that includes brainless decisions that are not based on cricket logic, but press grabbing headlines. Telling Broad to try and hit the first ball for six for no other reason than it will get the crowd up. Declaring before you reach 400 on the first day of an ashes series with your best batsman 118 not out. Why? So the crowd would get excited? These are not based on cricket nouse, but so we can claim we have re-invented the wheel.
Supporters of all things Bazball will claim the results in the last year speak for themselves. However, by that basis they can’t complain if questions are raised if England lose. Particularly games that are thrown away. Australia are a good outfit with hard nosed cricketers who find a way to win. But England should never have lost this match with all the play that was washed out, and with a good first days batting display.
I may be proved wrong, and England will come back in this series. However England have yet to demonstrate they can score a really big total against this attack, and Englands bowlers are looking less penetrative.
Also, are we going to now produce batting friendly flat tracks at home to accommodate our stroke makers? If so, we better find some really quick bowlers and some genuinely good spinners. Otherwise we will struggle to bowl out good sides twice.
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A big reason why England lost is because they missed 6 catches and a stumping as well as bowling 23 no balls, one of which was a “wicket”. And Australia made them pay for it. I don’t think enough is being said about this because on a wicket like that, you can’t afford to miss chances.
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