NZ v England: 5th ODI 

England’s interminable short-form cricket touring itinerary this winter comes to a close with at least a modicum of interest generated by being the decider in a good old fashioned bilateral series, and with the added bonus of starting at a vaguely sensible time for a UK audience.  It can’t be said that the public’s attention has been well and truly grasped, for in truth it comes as something of a relief to know that the round of ODIs and T20s that effectively began in January in Australia is reaching completion.  Nevertheless, this could be good.

The last tour of New Zealand was roundly praised for an itinerary that made best use of the different versions of the game – three T20s, then three ODIs, then three Tests, so naturally given the rare praise due to the respective boards, this time they’ve scrapped that and there are just the two Tests to come.  Still, one thing in their favour is that at least the order in which they’re played is correct, with the limited overs matches serving as the hors d’oeuvres for the Tests, rather than being an afterthought in both perception and execution.

Ross Taylor’s masterclass in chasing down a decent (if mildly disappointing given the position they’d got themselves in) England total in the 4th match came at a cost, with him in doubt due to a thigh strain.  It’s hard to believe it will keep him out of this one even so.

Jonny Bairstow on the England side batted equally as well, though cynics (who, us?) might have observed that using the form of criticism reserved for a select few, he “started the collapse” with his dismissal at Dunedin.  As good an example of the absurdity of that particular line as can be found.

England have the chance to win their sixth bilateral ODI series in succession should they come out on top, a statistic that recognises that England have become a very good limited overs side indeed, while also highlighting the difference in profile to Test cricket, where such an achievement would get far more attention, meritorious as it is.

Still, in its own right this has been an enjoyable match up, sufficiently so that it’s hard to call a winner.  

Meanwhile, in Port Elizabeth South Africa have had an excellent first day, bowling out Australia for 243 and finishing 39-1 in reply.  Given the usual “vital second day” position of the game, some pretty decent cricket watching lies ahead over the next 24 hours.

Match comments below as ever.


42 thoughts on “NZ v England: 5th ODI 

  1. BoredInAustria Mar 9, 2018 / 8:59 pm

    Watched 2 sessions of SA -OZ with my half blind dad. Some terrific stuff by Philander and Rabada but the latter needs to get himself under control. I feel SA let the OZ tail of the hook somewhat. How they miss Kallis. Terrific day coming up tomorrow. Unfortunately heading back home …

    Quote of the day when Holding was asked why he bowled so few no balls … the line does not move…

    PS The newspaper here thinks De Kock, sick of being taunted for his name, mentioned cock and Sonny Boy Williamson in one sentence…


    • thelegglance Mar 9, 2018 / 9:07 pm

      It was a bit odd actually. Given the afternoon session I felt SA might be a bit disappointed Australia got 200, but not so much because of the tail, but because they let them get to 90 before taking a wicket at all. It was like watching Broad and Anderson waste a green seamer with pretty stuff that doesn’t take wickets*

      *ok that’s a bit of an exaggeration.


      • BoredInAustria Mar 9, 2018 / 9:17 pm

        I missed the first session but it was odd yes. I saw Rabada even indicated post match they considered bowling first if they won the toss with the overcast conditions and all. Which does remind me of a certain Ashes match recently…

        And I have to confess the Rabadas antics at each wicket also reminded me of a certain Stuart Broad…


        • thelegglance Mar 9, 2018 / 9:22 pm

          Speaking of Broad, and Rabada’s determination to review everything, I did chuckle at someone saying Steve Smith would review the toss if he was allowed to. His lbw was as plumb as can be.


          • Miami Dad's Six Mar 12, 2018 / 1:13 pm

            This series is turning out to be an absolute cracker. A shame that the ICC will almost certainly look to ban Rabada following his 11 wicket haul. I do wonder how much stick he would be getting for this sort of misdemeanour if he was a bit more, ya know, related to Chris Broad?

            A shout to AB De Villiers. It was bloody shit watching England beat SA B team last time around, knowing he was twiddling away on Twitter at the time. However, his knock in this Test was exceptional and match-winning (alongside Rabada).

            Also – anyone else think Starc ought to relinquish the new ball? I can’t think of a better bowler to the tail with an old ball, but Cummins makes so much happen at first change that it almost feels a waste of a new cherry without him holding it.


          • Mark Mar 12, 2018 / 3:45 pm

            If the ICC ban Rabada while letting off Warner it will just once again show the double standards of the Big 3 ICC.

            One rule for one.

            Funny watching the Aussies all claiming that things should stay on the field. Is there a more sanctimonious bunch of hypocrites than the Australian cricket team? Probably, can’t think of one at the moment.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. metatone Mar 9, 2018 / 10:06 pm

    Hard to get over how sunny it is out there.
    After today’s grim trudge through the rain (I seem to have been on the go all day) I’m rather jealous.

    Woakes opening – gets Munro!


  3. metatone Mar 9, 2018 / 11:02 pm

    NZ 43/2 from 13.3 – Good start from England.
    But I’m too tired, that’s it for me.


  4. Zephirine Mar 10, 2018 / 12:26 am

    Trying to watch the ODI on NowTv but owing to my dreadful broadband I’m seeing a lot of the little buffer thing that goes round and round….. in between times I can see that the Hagley Oval is a beautiful ground, it’s got proper trees and some mountainous hills in the background.

    NZ are doing really quite badly and Morgan is using the spinners really quite a lot. 129/6.


    • Zephirine Mar 10, 2018 / 1:52 am

      NZ 223.

      Rob Key says Adil “just doesn’t enjoy red-ball cricket”. Hm.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sri.Grins Mar 10, 2018 / 2:56 am

        Cognitive dissonance. Once a decision is taken, you rationalize the decision using whatever reasons come handy. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Miami Dad's 6 Mar 10, 2018 / 7:14 am

        He didn’t seem to enjoy white ball stuff either until Morgan became captain.


  5. metatone Mar 10, 2018 / 7:34 am

    It is probably just me, but I’m rather tired of the misattribution in Man of the Match selections. The bowlers made this game England’s to lose. Yes, the batsmen needed to perform and in a situation of not very much pressure, it seems like JB played very well – but his wasn’t the key performance.

    Of course it’s not easy to choose between Woakes and Rashid today and you could make arguments either way – but that doesn’t mean a batsman deserved the prize.


    • dlpthomas Mar 10, 2018 / 9:42 am

      At least Woakes got man of the series.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Miami Dad's Six Mar 13, 2018 / 5:35 pm

      I think it might be the ‘Lords board’ thing. 5 wickets = 100 runs.

      When in actuality, I doubt anyone would think 5-130 in a score of 500 is as worthwhile as a 4-30 when you have skittled the opposition out for 180. Meanwhile in a limited overs international, you’d have a strike rate of 12 to achieve a 5fer. 3-30 from 10 overs is easily as good as a ton, when the “average” scoreline is expected to be 300+.


  6. dlpthomas Mar 10, 2018 / 9:47 am

    One of the New Zealand commentator summed up Sodhi’s day by saying “he just needs to flush the dunny and move on.” Just awesome.


  7. Zephirine Mar 10, 2018 / 11:28 am

    Say what you like about short-form cricket, it does brighten up a Saturday morning to see another picture of Eoin Morgan grinning broadly and holding a trophy.

    Liked by 2 people

    • metatone Mar 10, 2018 / 11:44 am

      Certainly better than watching Steve Smith do the same…


  8. "IronBalls" McGinty Mar 12, 2018 / 5:02 pm

    Whitaker’s gone!! Best news I’ve heard since before the difficult Winter! Buffoonery is becoming a shrinking commodity!


    • "IronBalls" McGinty Mar 12, 2018 / 5:08 pm

      Oh bollocks! In my euphoria I failed to realise that Flower may well replace him? Plenty to speculate over I guess? The selection process may well provide hours of endless fun and biliousness?

      Liked by 1 person

      • @pktroll Mar 12, 2018 / 5:59 pm

        No more Gary Ballance then?


  9. Mark Mar 12, 2018 / 6:17 pm


    Andrew Strauss, Director of England Cricket, said: “The new approach will allow us to see more players throughout the county game, more often, and simplify the selection process.

    “We will have a greater body of information, deeper insight into the talent we can pick and a better understanding of who to help develop across the red-ball and white-ball games.

    “The game now requires our teams to play more often, at a higher intensity, in a range of conditions and across different formats.

    “A formalised scouting network will help us to be more aware of players’ strengths and, as they will be seen more often by more people, they will have a greater opportunity to impress.

    “Our new National Selector will coordinate with a full-time England selector, who will be appointed by the National Selector, and the England Head coach to ensure that we are scouting players throughout the pathway for England’s current and future needs. Clearly, we are looking for a person who is an excellent judge of talent and character and has experience in both talent Identification and the international game.

    “I want to express my personal gratitude to James, as well as the heartfelt thanks of the ECB, for his hard work and dedication over a number of years. His has been a critical role and one that he has fulfilled with distinction during a period where the game has evolved at domestic and international level. We cannot thank him enough for his calm leadership and commitment and wish him the very best for his next step.”

    “We have been considering this for some time and now is the right moment to make the change. The last year has been exceptionally busy for all the men’s teams and this decision is not related to results.”

    Have you ever read such utter drivel in your life? A new National selector who will coordinate with a full time England selector. What’s the fucking difference between an England selector and a national selector?

    As usual Strauss tries to pretend that this is some new system and that…..”is not related to results.” Yea right, or course not…….BWHAAAAAAAAAA

    Why do they keep lying to us? As usual no acceptance of responsibility, no blame. English cricket is run by people who have the easiest job in sport. Zero accountability.

    Liked by 2 people

    • "IronBalls" McGinty Mar 12, 2018 / 6:59 pm

      and so it begins….


      • Mark Mar 12, 2018 / 7:12 pm

        If they bring back Flower, they can go fuck themselves. It will be the final nail in the coffin of English cricket as a national team. It will be a jobs for the boys privete club where people get picked by an old boys network of cronies.

        Liked by 2 people

    • AB Mar 15, 2018 / 10:49 am

      Who comes up with these ideas? Its immediately obvious that the “England selector” is just going to be the yes man for the national selector who appointed him, and presumably has the power to fire him at will. Group think here we come.


  10. Mark Mar 12, 2018 / 7:36 pm

    Is José Mourinho Robbie Savages dad?

    Jesus wept, Man U win a home against a scatty Liverpool, and the usual suspects are rolling on the ground at the feet of the special one.

    The two goals they scored were more like Wimbledon 1988 vintage. Long ball merchants. But he’s a tactical genius according to Savage. But then he things the ping pong man is an intellectual.


  11. Mark Mar 14, 2018 / 10:03 pm

    George Dobell……..“At a time when a prominent administrator is warning that more than 50 percent of professional players should be fearing for their jobs, that is a significant failure. The PCA needs to be mobilising now but news that David Leatherdale, the absent CEO, asked the ECB to draft his response to the introduction of the new-team T20 suggests the organisation lacks the independence it once had.”

    English cricket is rotten to the core. The county chairman have jellies for spines. They are chancers, local Arthur Daley’s out for a quick buck. They couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery. Whining when they get played.

    English cricket is like a pirate ship. Full of cut throats who would cut each other’s throat at a moments notice. They should fly the skull and crossbones over Lord’s.

    This site has for 4 years tried to ring the alarm bells for what is going on. We were ridiculed and called trouble makers. Where was the media? Where was the players union? Fuck um!!

    Now, nobody give a shit. Let’s all stand and laugh at English cricket. Couldn’t happen to a more deserving group of people.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LordCanisLupus Mar 16, 2018 / 9:02 am

      “Well intentioned bad governance”.

      Not enough brick walls in this world to bang my head against.


  12. Miami Dad's 6 Mar 15, 2018 / 7:26 am

    England getting hammered by NZ second xi in one of those pointless 15 aside matches where James Vince bats at 10.

    No Woakes – Wood given the new ball. Cant help but feel Wood might be a bit crap.


    • Mark Mar 15, 2018 / 9:17 am

      You would think that with England’s piss poor away test form of the last few years they might try improving their warm up routine. Try something different instead of the let’s have a beer match model.

      I guess if they win the test series, they will claim they are all geniuses. Nothing will happen if they lose. It never does. The Lords test is the only one that matters these day.


    • LordCanisLupus Mar 15, 2018 / 9:19 am

      It’s fucking incredible. They put out moans about poor practice matches before the Ashes and then you have this farce.

      They must think we are stupid.


      • Mark Mar 15, 2018 / 10:10 am

        It’s become standard policy across the various boards to hold Mickey Mouse warm up games. Some bright spark realised a few years ago it would help the home side if you gave the touring team sub standard opposition teams to play against. Makes winning the test matches for the home team easier. Not very good for spectators who want a good spectacle, but who cares about them?

        Also, according to Nasser, whenever I watch him on tv he informs me that the modern player is part of an international jet set that fly in and fly out. Little practice is required. “Have bat,will travel” seems to be the motto. See his and Bumbles fawning interview with Chris Gale at the end of last season.

        By the way, I don’t think the touring teams want proper warm up games anyway, so are happy to go along with these glorified 15 a side net sessions. The only losers are the fans, and the majority of the touring teams end up losing. But who cares about that? There will a home series coming soon, and the roles will be reversed.


        • Miami Dad's Six Mar 15, 2018 / 1:10 pm

          One of my annual highlights is watching a touring side play a warm up down in Taunton against Somerset (or at least a Somerset XI). Even if they are billed as warm up matches, none of them are as pisspoor as England’s equivalent when they go on tour.


        • LordCanisLupus Mar 16, 2018 / 8:54 am

          Another farcical day with 13 wickets falling. I suppose they are all trying their hardest.


  13. oreston Mar 16, 2018 / 12:07 pm

    Mason Crane is reportedly out of the series with a stress fracture in his lower back (ECB medical staff doing their best again?) Leaving aside the small matter of his selection being farcical in the first place, you never like to see a young player injured.


    • Mark Mar 16, 2018 / 12:25 pm

      Well it’s not as if he does much “match play” bowling is it? Is it any surprise he is injured? He carried the drinks tray for four of the five test against Australia.

      How many county cricket overs has he got under his belt? His selection for England was insane. Nothing against the man personally, but people on big salary’s are making these decisions.

      Liked by 1 person

      • oreston Mar 16, 2018 / 5:27 pm

        He played in the first two four day Lions games in the West Indies and did bugger all while Jack Leach took a stack of wickets, so naturally Crane was the one chosen for New Zealand. Let’s see how the likes of Selvey get behind Leach now that he’s young Mason’s replacement. #ordinary #poortemperament #questionmarkoverhisaction…


  14. Mark Mar 16, 2018 / 7:18 pm

    Jeez, just listening to Jose Mourinho’s press conference. BBC cringingly playing the whole 12 minutes in their obidient way.

    Comedy gold!


    • Mark Mar 16, 2018 / 7:20 pm

      “Every wall has a door.”

      It’s almost up there with …”The seagulls follow the trawler.”


      • oreston Mar 16, 2018 / 9:40 pm

        I must admit I liked Cantona’s seagulls/trawler line and enjoyed the fact that most of the thicko football hacks at the time had absolutely no idea what he meant – even though it was hardly Jacques Derrida. Certainly much better than anything the so-called Special One would come out with though.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. Miami Dad's 6 Mar 17, 2018 / 8:18 am

    Now that we are past the Ashes which generates natural yearnings to beat Australians, I would bloody love New Zealand to 2 zip us in this series. We deserve it. Unfortunately the casualties would be Stoneman, Malan and Leach, but I would still take some satisfaction in it. Unfortunately I suspect Root is in too good form himself to happen.


  16. Sri Grins Mar 17, 2018 / 3:28 pm

    Kp calls an end to his cricket career. It is sad that we did not get to see him for a couple of years at least in England colors thanks to the politics.

    Most of us in India have great respect for his skills just as we have for cook too in terms of his staying power.


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