2015 Ashes – 5th Test, 1st Day

Ten Years Ago....
Ten Years Ago….

Welcome to Day 1 of probably 3 or 4 of the 5th Ashes test for 2015. I will be up in the North West of England today on business, so won’t, as usual, get to see much of the game, although I’ll give SkyGo an effort on the train back from Preston.

I could say a huge amount about what has gone on in the interim period between the Trent Bridge test and this one, but that’s for another time. I’ve not let it just pass by. I’ve taken a few insults from people who are no friends of what this blog is trying to achieve, or even bothered to understand where I come from and what I do. It’s been a very disheartening couple of weeks. But unlike our wonderful captain, there’s no “I almost quit” talk. That’s not how I operate.

So to Day 1. TLG has had his say in the preview. I’m not about to add too much to that, except I fear for Mark Wood if he’s playing on a duff ankle, that needs surgery and that he’s having cortisone shots for. If that’s true, will we never learn?

This will be the repository for comments, so fire away BTL and I’m not sure if there will be a review or not, because TLG is away, and I’m on the road, and then when I return to London, at a do.

If any of you are in the vicinity of the Oval, do support the #ChangeCricket demo. TLG’s piece says it all, and Sam and Jarrod deserve backing up for all the work they’ve done. Also, I am around The Oval on Friday evening, if anyone of our readers are, and I’d love to bump into some as I did with KeyserChris at Lord’s back in July. I’ve also got a couple of days at county games planned, including one at Surrey and one at Middlesex.

I’ll see you all later – comments away…

Dmitri’s Ashes Memories – The Oval, 2005

A Special Knock
A Special Knock

I’ve not really written about a very, very important test match that I attended, and as the series of pieces I’ve written on my Ashes Memories is not complete without it, here goes. No. Not Adelaide 2006, but The Oval 2005.

As regular readers, be it those who misrepresent me (then can’t even admit they did), and those that read and digest what I’m saying, will know that I was a Surrey member for many years and I did attend every England match from 1997 to 2012 at the home of English cricket (1st test venue in England, accept no impersonators).

Strauss - The Applause
Strauss – The Applause

Note, as I’m oft to repeat, I stopped going after 2012 (I’ve written on the “spectator experience”) and have not been back since. Note also, this pre-dates KP’s sacking, and ticket buying for 2013 would have been post- KP textgate. So it was nothing to do with KP, just for those “obsessives” out there. Of course, they are the ones who obsess, not me. But enough of that.

I digress. This 2005 Ashes test had the promise to be something lively, even a good 10 months in advance, and when the annual ticket form dropped through the letter box giving me two weeks advance booking as a privilege of membership, I got the allocation in as quickly as possible. Already there were harbingers of restrictions for members. We were give 10 per member per day in 2001, this had been cut to 6 in 2005. Tickets went rapidly, England were on the back of a 7 test wins in a summer (that’s greatness, right there) but I still managed front row seats for the Saturday in the Sturridge Stand. We also secured tickets for Thursday and Friday. I’d attended three days for the preceding two summers, but wouldn’t venture a Sunday ticket until the following year – a rather memorable fourth day against Pakistan!!!

Strauss Drives Warne
Strauss Drives Warne – looks like it went quite square…

Now, I have retold the tale of 2005 in my Lord’s piece. Mum had passed away, Dad was frail, and yet life seemed to have opportunities in front of me. I had a trip to Barbados in the October (those were the days) and the Ashes finale just five or so weeks before. Those tickets appreciated in value as the series wore on. When Ashley Giles stroked that ball through the leg side to win at Trent Bridge, then the reputed market value of those tickets had a 0 stuck on the end. This anti-England man would not have contemplated two noughts on the end (three – well, that would be silly…). I was so mentally shot after a number of issues that I actually hid the tickets in a book on my shelf, in case we were burgled. Eff it, they could nick the TV, the music stuff, my jewellery, just don’t nick my tickets (I was in my mid 30s….so can’t use being a child as an excuse, well not really)

One of my favourite pictures. Katich catches Strauss for a magnificent 129
One of my favourite pictures. Katich catches Strauss for a magnificent 129

The day before the Oval match, my work team had a cricket match. It was a lovely fixture. We played in Greenwich Park, they laid on a bar (during the game, dangerous) and some food afterwards, and all I worried about was I hadn’t played club cricket that year and that playing in this game was going to hurt. Most importantly, this was going to hurt while I was at this massive match for English cricket. Given past experience, this was also going to hurt even more on Day 2 than Day 1. I’m no athletic specimen and there were going to be serious unfitness pains.

So maybe, just maybe, it would be best if I didn’t do too much in this game. I was captain so I didn’t intend to bowl, and stuck myself down the order. That was the joy of being in charge.

The plans went awry. They were a bit better than we thought, and I had a bit of a bowl, which didn’t go well. I came off for a drinks break and my Dad, who’d come to watch for the afternoon just said as I came off “well, that was crap, wasn’t it?” Thanks, Dad.

I’m not sure how many they got, probably around 180 in 40 overs, which was going to be too much with our batting line-up full of non-cricketers.

We started our chase, and one of our people who could bat a little, surprised us all by making a painstaking but really vital 40-odd (only to be the victim of a story we still tell about his future wife completely ignoring it…). I came in at number 7 to replace him, and then started to bat well. I’d hardly played, but it was hitting the right part of the bat, and although not particularly fluent, I set about the run chase –we wanted about 8 an over. This meant I had to run. This meant the price to pay would be greater. A few boundaries maybe, but we had to run everything. This was not how I planned it (although, I confess, I loved batting again).

Shaun Tait.....
Shaun Tait…..

This isn’t a heroic story of pulling a win out of the fire. I made 39 and got out when we had half a sniff – a sort of Ravi Bopara type knock – and then ludicrously had to act as a runner for my great mate who had a knee problem. You see me, you don’t want me as a runner. By this time my little nieces had turned up with my brother, and they came out to get me. I was knackered. Then the muscles started to ache. Oh no.

I woke up the following morning and it hurt. A lot. But I hobbled out of bed, muscles refusing to relax, all those little micro-tears causing each footstep to be a pain. But nothing would stop me. So, food parcel prepared, and provisions and camera at the ready, I headed to the station. I met my good friend Brendan at London Bridge, and then met up with the crowd for the first day at the Oval (I seem to recall I went to Jessops at Cannon Street for something, actually, but not sure what. Might have been a memory card).

Freddie on Day 2
Freddie on Day 2

Now, of course, there’s been many a report on this test match, but the feeling remains that seeing just the first three days of this test in particular is like seeing half a film and walking out, only to be told there’s an amazing plot twist at the end. Think ending the Usual Suspects before the flashback of the interview scene.

It is important to note, and I hope the pillocks who slag off this blog do, that this “anti-Strauss” individual will never tire in saying that his first day century at the Oval was the most unsung English hundred I’ve ever seen (either in flesh, or on the TV). If Strauss had failed, we’d have been dead. Instead he made a magnificent, composed, attractive 129, and with Freddie Flintoff who made, I think, 72 pulled us from a dreadful position to an almost par score.

Hayden on the pull
Hayden on the pull

But while there was pleasure, there was pain. Any movement that day was agony. At one point one of my side muscles cramped, which I can tell you is bloody agony, you go all stiff, breathe in and you have to wait for the spasm to pass and rub it hard. People think you are having a heart attack. And I’m just reading that back and saying I might have to slip in a double entendre or two.

There was also an interesting exchange that morning with a fellow Millwall fan (and excellent blogger on football) who was sat in the May Stand on the text, regarding one Kevin Pietersen. Tres and Strauss had laid a decent platform, but then Tres, Vaughan, Bell had gone in quick succession. KP then got out to an aggressive shot at Warne, and my mate was livid. Called him a big head, no brain etc. I agreed with him. Think we wanted that exchange back a few days later?

Langer celebrates his ton, in a glorious English summer!
Langer celebrates his ton, in a glorious English summer!

While Thursday was a glorious day, Friday was a complete let down, with England adding a few more, and then Australia batting just enough overs to deny us a refund. Of course, we didn’t take a wicket. The main thing I took away from this was the lack of urgency. Australia needed to win the test, but Matthew Hayden in particular had had a poor series. I did mention in a little tongue in cheek throughout my blogging days, but there was a little “batting for myself and not the Ashes” about it. He made 138, but it wasn’t his usual bullying self. It was hard bloody work.
The Saturday had some rain interruptions, but plenty of play. Australia got to 200 I think before losing a wicket, with Langer first to his ton. Ponting stuck around for a bit, but went, and we saw Martyn go to. But Hayden was there with his unbeaten hundred, and with two days to go, Australia were ominously poised.

Ricky Ponting in aggressive pose
Ricky Ponting in aggressive pose – and I got the ball in shot!

Which is where I left it. This still pains me to this day. Sir Peter got a ticket to the last day and witnessed the miracle of Pietersen in the flesh, and the celebrations afterwards. I spent the Monday wondering how much my boss would notice if I slipped away and watched the game in the TV room of my office as much as possible. But in its own way Monday was special in the office environment. All across the massive floor of our office building, people had cricinfo on their screens. The guy furthest away seemed to have the fastest connection, and the whispers across the floor of wickets originated from him. He was the bearer of bad news. I was the last to know. It was an amazing experience in its own way. Silent cheering, silent fear.

By the time the game was reaching its denouement, and when we were doing the sums about how many runs per over the Aussies could chase – we thought 8, ludicrously – most of the cricket fans had camped into the TV room for a shared experience we can’t replicate for cricket now. We were there for Richie Benaud’s last words as a cricket commentator in England (and the dismissal of KP that immediately followed). This was the moment we’d all been waiting for. People with just a passing interest in the sport became fans. The enthusiasm for cricket was immense. We all know what happened next.

Damian Martyn - Interesting
Damian Martyn – Interesting

So these are pained Ashes memories in many ways, because I couldn’t be there for the end. But the atmosphere on day one was unlike any I’ve experienced before or since – and yes that includes Lord’s earlier in that year. We sensed we’d downed a mighty foe, a behemoth. This wasn’t a monkey off our backs, but bloody King Kong. Oh if I’d bought a Day 5 ticket (I did for 2009 – wasn’t needed).

There’s lots to remember this test for. My Dad, who died 7 months after it, went to see the parade. He never told me he was going to, but this frail man, a lover of the sport, went up to Trafalgar Square. It’s not the done thing for a son to be proud of a father for something he achieved, but for him to do that made me proud. It also made me proud of the people who had made him happy two months after the death of his wife. Who made me happy two months after the death of my mum.

Great career-saver, Matthew
Great career-saver, Matthew

I say to those anti-KP people out there…. stop, for one minute, and just think WHY I might be a little bit pro-KP. Do the maths. Work it out. And certainly don’t say that that team “makes you sick”. It was special, in a way that this series really isn’t, in that this was an England team that beat a 15 year monster that had embarrassed us every time we played them. It had true greats like Warne and McGrath (albeit hobbled), as opposed to worthy adversaries like Johnson and Lyon. Gilchrist compared to Nevill. Hayden and Langer compared to Warner and Rogers. It was a great team we beat, and they proved how great they were 18 months later. Again, I’m not sure why I need to justify this. It’s bloody obvious. Just because a modern pop band sells a ton of records, doesn’t mean they can compare to the greats.

But my memory above all will be the camaraderie with my Old Jos colleagues, the joy of my father, and the time cricket really did grip the nation. It doesn’t now. We can’t pretend that it does. Cricket has changed, a lot, and not all of it for the better. The Oval 2005 seemed a lot better time, because it was. That’s not me being anti-England, it’s an attempt to put this into context. Anyone who saw Andrew Strauss’s 129, and who doesn’t think it superior to any ton scored by an England player in the last couple of years isn’t paying attention. In my view. It was that good.

It did get a bit silly.....
It did get a bit silly…..

As a final postscript to this piece, I find at this time that I much prefer to write about cricket memories. I feel I have something to prove to people that it isn’t all about the warfare in the cricket fraternity in this country, a war I didn’t start. I truly feel the only fans I had a go at were ones who had had a go at me. I concentrated my anger on journalists and the ECB. That was this blog’s raison d’etre. And it’s why we criticised the ridiculous wall they put up around Cook.

And I also feel that these pieces put context of where I am now, in terms of my views on the game, and the things I defend to the hilt. The world wasn’t perfect in 2005, and I’m not saying it was, but there were no divisions, no causes to divide us. Hell, England dumped my favourite player (Thorpe) for Pietersen and I carried on (and I loved Thorpe so much I bought his book and got it autographed). Again, critics, just read that, and think about it. You never know, you might stop attacking supporters and actually think to yourself “why are these people so angry now?” and it is not, assuredly, solely down to KP being sacked. I keep having to effing repeat myself.

Obsession
Obsession

I’m sorry I had to end the piece on that note. But it needs saying. Of course, they (they know who they are) will ignore it. Doesn’t sit with their “how effing great an England fan am I” mantra.

As usual, all pics are taken by me (on an Olympus Ultra-Zoom) and you are welcome to borrow them (if used on a blog, you can credit, but don’t worry too much). I hope you enjoyed my memories and I’ll have a few more before the summer is over.

Day of Protest

With the fifth Test due to get under way, the ECB have been slapping themselves on the back at a job well done and as usual the media have been all too complicit in ignoring the wider issues.

There is nothing quite so important, nor quite so scandalous, as the power grab by the Big Three of world cricket, to take over the ICC, and to award themselves the bulk of the revenues, while emasculating every other cricketing nation whether Test playing or Associate. It is the subject of the recently released film, Death of a Gentleman, for which you can read our review both of the film and the issues it raises here:

https://collythorpe.wordpress.com/2015/08/10/death-of-a-gentleman-2/

Those who have seen the film are angry. Those who know what it’s about are angry. Those who read our post on it are angry too. Yet the constant frustration has been that the authorities neither listen, nor care what the fans think. As Gideon Haigh pointed out, supporters are there purely to be exploited.

Jarrod Kimber and Sam Collins, who made the film always intended it to be the catalyst for those who love the game and who have supported it both financially and with their time to raise their voices in protest at what our own boards, created to protect the game, are doing in their own selfish interest and with no regard for anything or anyone else.

The film was the first step, the creation of the http://www.changecricket.com website and @changecricket Twitter account another.

The cry of the disenfranchised is always “what can I do?” so to that end, this Thursday on the first day of the fifth Test at the Oval, there will be a silent protest mourning the death of cricket as we know it.

All who wish to register their objections to the theft of our game by those who care only for power and money are invited to attend. At 10am, a three minute silence (one minute for each of the England, Australia and India boards) will be held at the Hobbs Gate outside the ground.

The protest is being supported by Jamie Fuller and Damian Collins MP, both of whom have been part of the campaign against corruption at FIFA in recent times. Paul Burnham of the Barmy Army will also be there.

Even if not attending the match, the organisers ask that anyone in the area who can make it for an hour come along and show support for this most important of causes. Sam and Jarrod have suggested fans wear their country’s colours, but the most important thing is to get a good attendance, and then maybe even the cricket press who have in large part (the exceptions know who they are) remained silent.

This is our game, and while we might argue until we’re blue in the face about issues like Kevin Pietersen, the point is that we want to be able to argue about it in the future, and there’s no guarantee we will be able to.

The greedy, self-interested bastards at the BCCI, ECB and CA are stealing our sport. It’s time to stop them.

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@BlueEarthMngmnt
@DmitriOld
@OutsideCricket

The Ashes: Fifth Test preview

And so, barely moments after the home international Test summer began, it’s nearly over.  If anyone had said that the Oval Test will begin with nothing riding on it, it would hardly have been a surprise.  That it is a dead rubber because England have already won, well that is more of a surprise.

And as a result, when the dust settled on the hammering handed out at Trent Bridge, the focus has been more on Australia than an England team justifiably enjoying the moment.  It has been a peculiar and somewhat subdued build up.

Australia themselves will be saying goodbye to at least two players, in Rogers and Clarke.  In reality, even though they are unlikely to play, Haddin and Watson can be added to that list, for it is hard to see how they will be selected again.  There’s every chance Voges is playing his final match as well, while Shaun Marsh must be a considerable doubt for the future given he’s failed to take his chance at the highest level.  Since Australia lost Ryan Harris before the series began, it amounts to a quite extraordinary end of an era for the Australian team.  Of the squad of seventeen first chosen for the series, you can make a case that seven or even eight (depending on what future Fawad has) will be gone from the Test team by this time next week.

Moreover, Australia have lost little time in moving on, Smith has already been announced as the next captain, with Warner as his deputy – which is an interesting choice in itself given his brushes with authority over the last few years.  It could be the making of him.  Likewise, Smith has been talking about moving to number four in future, all of which suggests that Australia just want this over with and to move forward.

It’s a rather sad way for Clarke to finish.  The last real link to the great Australian team of the noughties, he is going out with a whimper rather than a bang, captaining a side who have already moved on, in a series already lost, with a team comprised of many who will saying their own farewells.  Sport can be a cruel business, and few get to time their departures perfectly.   As both player and captain, there’s a temptation to believe that Clarke is more honoured abroad than he is at home, and a warm reception when he walks out to bat for the final two times is guaranteed.  And thoroughly deserved.

For England, it is the chance to deliver four Test wins in a series against Australia for the first time since 1978, and in circumstances that few would have expected.  Given England’s inconsistency, and the end-of-era nature of the Australian team, it’s as hard to call as any of the previous Tests.  The series has been so unpredictable that it would be a brave person to make the call on what will happen this time.   Perhaps what most fans of both sides would like more than anything would be a close match.  There hasn’t been a truly close game between these sides since the Trent Bridge Test of 2013 – even the Oval last time which ended up tight was down to a contrivance more than genuine competition.  That Oval Test incidentally was only the third time since five Test series became the norm that the Oval Test was a dead rubber in England’s favour.  That this is the fourth instance one series later says a lot about recent series.

To that end, what does this say about England’s win?  It’s fourteen years since Australia won in England, and in that time England are 10-3 up in Tests.  Yet since England won that first series in years in 2005, England are 11-3 down in Australia.  Each side is being well beaten away from home, with few close matches, that has to be a concern.

For England, there seems little point in risking Anderson – there would have been little point even if the series was on the line – so the debate surrounds the question of the pitch and whether a second spinner is needed.  If so, then there is at least the possibility that Moeen could be moved up to open to create space for Adil Rashid.  If that is how England go, then Lyth too could be facing the chop as far as his Test career is concerned.  Lyth has hardly been a stellar success in this series, but then neither has his opening partner, one innings excepted.  It would be a sour note were England to continue to go through openers not called Cook at a rate of knots.  That is of course making the point before it even happens, and England may well retain Lyth to give him the chance to cement his place.  A score of any sort would probably do that.

Of course, if Lyth does keep his place, then it seems hard to see how Rashid could be given the nod.  Wood is troubled by his ankle, but the indications are that Plunkett is favoured if he doesn’t make it.  There is of course no point selecting someone for the sake of it – that is what happened two years ago when Kerrigan and Woakes were called into the side and promptly discarded for the following series – more understandably in the case of Kerrigan, whose handling can still be questioned.  Yet with the series in the UAE coming up, Rashid will certainly be required.

In all, this is a subdued build up to the final Test match.  At the end of it, Alastair Cook will be presented with the urn, and all will be well with England cricket.  Of course, the reality is some way from that, the previous 18 months has created a schism amongst cricket lovers like little seen in living memory.  The win has papered over the cracks, but failed to resolve them.  The ECB have a big job on their hands to re-create love for England, but if they do intend to try and do so, then this is no bad platform on which to build.  It is now up to them.

@BlueEarthMngmnt

Dmitri’s Ashes Memories – Perth 2006

It seems somewhat apt to return to posting with a low moment. I’m returning to an era where we were getting our 2005 win rammed back down our throats by a hostile foe, for a time where I felt low about the game, but for different reasons to those now. It’s ironic that I probably feel more low now than I did back then as England are on top. It’s not about the winning and losing, it’s about the fans sticking together, and on that fateful tour of 2006/7, I never saw fan division. We supported the team, no question.

This was not only support against a juggernaut team, it was against a Cricket Australia organisation that made it desperately hard for English supporters to get tickets. It was support an erstwhile disinterested Australian public, who couldn’t give a stuff for the Ashes in 2002/3 when I was out there, but were now making sure the games were played in a hostile atmosphere. It really wasn’t pleasant. It was a lot like football. I’m not sure it was for the best, really, but who am I to say?

Absolute Nonsense With The Old Jos....
Absolute Nonsense With The Old Jos….

At least at that time we got abuse from the opposition fans. I’m a lad from working class roots, born into a council estate in SE London, moving to another one where I still live after 36 years in the same house, and never that well off that money was no object, but able to do some really good things when the economy and the relative purchasing power of my wages allowed. No-one from my family had ever done this sort of thing. Never gone to Australia. I absolutely thanked my lucky stars at how I’d been able to do this. It is something I never took for granted. You know, it’s why the somewhat silly barbs about being anti-England and not a cricket fan actually do hurt. You have got to me effing kidding me.

The only Ashes century Alastair Cook has made outside of 2010-11. He worked incredibly hard for it.
The only Ashes century Alastair Cook has made outside of 2010-11. He worked incredibly hard for it. You know who applauds.

I only turn on people who turn on me, and I have always been one that recognises that other people have different views. Back in 2006, there was a clamour for Monty Panesar which although not of the modern level for another player, was firm enough. This time, though, it was the media leading the charge. It was the dog days of Duncan Fletcher and he wasn’t for picking him if Giles was fit. He got all sorts….

I was ambivalent. I’d had a disastrous time in Adelaide, and I was in pieces. Confidence shot. Holiday proving to be a trial. The cricket depressing.

Flickers on Day 5 - They wouldn't last
Flickers on Day 5 – They wouldn’t last

I’ve always got the Adelaide test up my sleeve for a piece, but the one thing I do recall about Perth is our hopeless optimism. On Day 4, with England up against it, Ian Bell and Alastair Cook gave us hope that we might get out the mess we were in. KP was in decent nick, and had a 90-odd, a 158 and a first innings 50 under his belt, and with Flintoff and Jones following behind we had a sniff of getting out of the game. It was ridiculous optimism. But when we were three down, there still remained a little hope, and that’s when Perth announced the prices of fifth day tickets. The man we call Reg went round to the ticket office to get them, and we still tried to believe that there was a shot. Cook got to a hundred, a horrible knock, hopelessly out of nick, but absolutely an example of temperament and courage. Yes, the iron rod, the steely core. But this was Perth. This was heat. Towards the end of the day his concentration wilted, and a combination of that and the new ball did for him. Hoggy came out as a nightwatchman. Brett Lee, fielding in front of us, where there was a large corps of England support, mocked us “Where’s your skipper now, boys? Hiding is he? Scared?” Hoggy lasted no time….

It didn't go well
It didn’t go well

As the day drew to quite a cloudy close, we wandered back to our apartment block, about half a mile from the WACA and thought we were quite mad to have bought the tickets. Our flight out of Perth Airport was for 1:30 a.m after the 5th day, and we had to pack our bags and go to Scarborough for our last night in Australia that evening. We wondered what precisely we were doing going up there, and then back down again for the last day.

But we did, because we thought we needed to be there for the team. Well, I did. However that didn’t last. Flintoff and KP saw off the early attacks and both made half centuries, but once Freddie went, and then Jones for a pair in his last ever test, the tail failed to wag. One wicket left at lunch, we thought there were better things to do than watch the Aussie apply the coup de grace, and went for a beer somewhere in the Perth city centre. We heard the winning wicket on the radio. We were spent.

Time to leave....
Time to leave…. Gilchrist starts out on his record-setting century. We’d seen enough.

That trip was an emotional experience for me, and I’m going to go into more depth when I do Adelaide as to why. After Adelaide we flew out the morning after (the infamous flight where Pringle sat two rows behind me), and headed down to Augusta on the far South West coast of Australia. It was gorgeous. We then spent a few days in Margaret River, did a bit of winery stuff, had a few beets, watched some football on the TV, and then headed to Fremantle, where four of us squeezed into a bijou apartment and we couldn’t wait to get out of it. Then we went up to Perth the day before the game, but still caught a train on one evening for a night out in Fremantle!

I’d also met up with a Millwall friend, Jim, who now lives out there, but had generously popped round to my brother’s house in London to pick up a credit card (after I’d had all mine nicked in Adelaide), and bring it out to me. I met him for a drink in Subiaco, whereupon I promptly left the card and the new wallet in the pub we were in. Thankfully, I realised, and some lovely honest people had handed it in to the bar-staff and a second disaster was averted. I was in an absolute state by this time, an emotional and unsure wreck (both my parents had died in the preceding 18 months).

England were obviously 2-0 down going into Perth, and the Adelaide scars were raw. There had been a lot of comment in the England fans area at Adelaide about Duncan’s stubborness over Monty Panesar, and the poor performance, and then sad news around Ashley Giles, had meant his inclusion was a certainty. Saj Mahmood also came into the team, a player, I have to say, I really rated (cracking judge, me). Perth underwhelmed me as a ground – I don’t know what I expected – but it was a decent atmosphere and they had put in extra seats.

The WACA - pre-game
The WACA – pre-game

England had a good first day, and Monty made an immediate impact. Sadly, as was to be the case frequently in his Ashes career, Mike Hussey was a royal PIA. He saved the innings and took Australia from real strife to mediocrity. Monty claimed five-for, and Englan fans started to believe again. Maybe we could be competitive and make a real fist of this. After all, we’d fought hard in both the previous test matches, hadn’t we? At times…

Despite bowling the Australians out for 244, there was a sense of foreboding. Had England got that last day collapse at Adelaide out of their minds. Well, Cook got out cheaply, and Bell followed for a duck, and 51/2 wasn’t a firm base for us to launch. It looked even less firm when Collingwood went very early on day 3, and although Pietersen steadied the ship at #5 (people started to comment he should go up one, despite Colly making a fine fist of number 4 until then), Strauss also went to a dodgy old caught behind. No-one stayed with Pietersen, who got increasingly desperate towards the end of his knock and was ninth out for 70 with 175 on the board. There was a knockabout last wicket stand of 40, but the sense of fear was such that you thought “jeez, it looks easy for them, what are Aussie going to do!.

With a lead of just 29, England probably tasted parity when Langer went first ball of the second innings, and I took one of my best ever pics….

Perfect Timing
Perfect Timing

It never lasted. Ponting and Hayden steadied the ship, and by the close Australia were 119 for 1 and the Ashes felt gone. The third day, a Saturday was not one I saw a lot of. It was 40 odd degrees plus, and Sir Peter and I did a bit of early morning Christmas shopping to take home, and turned up after lunch. We saw England open that morning with KP. It was desperate. Panesar couldn’t weave his magic. We turned up after Ponting and Hayden had gone, and we fried. I mean we absolutely fried. Hussey made a century, Michael Clarke did too, and then, memorably, did Adam Gilchrist. We were so hot, being belted around so much, that we left with Gilchrist in the early stages of that knock. Beaten, and depressed, we stomped back, hearing cheers for every boundary, sensing something. I remember saying to Sir Peter as we left the ground “this is the sort of situation that Gilchrist could go off and do something mental.”  We sw him get to his ton back at our apartment. I’d changed to go for a swim, and cheered Hoggy’s very wide, but not called, ball that denied Gilchrist the chance to equal the record held by Viv.

The water was lovely.

Of course, Strauss immediately got an absolute shocker of a decision once the Aussies had declared, so there was nothing to it but to head out for a nice meal in Northridge, and a serious session in the Brass Monkey. I pick up Day 4 above…..

What did Perth mean to me? It was the end of an era. I’ve never seen England away again, and never likely to, if truth be told. It was a holiday that I can’t look back on and say it was the greatest ever, but I learned a lot about myself and my inabilities and weaknesses. I’d say that the world was vastly different then, and the cricket world was too. I think it is interesting to contrast how much fire was aimed at Duncan Fletcher after that tour and not the players, and especially the captain, who let him down (in my view). There was much focus on his stubborn approach to Panesar, but in an interesting read across to the recent 5-0, the players quitting the tour through injury or lack of form weren’t to play again at all. The captain never skippered England again. KP batted well, as did Colly at times, but Bell was Bell.  In his second innings knock at Perth, he was pure Ian Bell. He looked superb, then played a loose drive and got out. He flattered to deceive.

But the fans never turned on the team, and they never turned on each other. It’s a different world. Some say the likes of me are to blame. We created the divide. We are the reason. But stop for a minute and just think. Please. Just think. We had incredible trouble getting tickets for the games we went to, but we got them. This was an expensive trip to watch a team collapse, but we wouldn’t have missed it for the world. This was a team that fell apart, but we stuck with it, when the media were throwing missiles at the coach. I haven’t changed as a cricket fan, so maybe something else has.

Monty - The saviour that wasn't, really.....
Monty – The saviour that wasn’t, really…..

For a test that I don’t relive that much, it’s quite an important one in my cricketing life. I was sort of there when the Ashes were clinched. I’d seen 40% of a whitewash on my travels, and seen a team collapse in the heat – that third day was brutal. I had a ton of admiration at the time for Cook, as he battled so hard for his hundred, and yet now I view him in a much different vein. It’s my last day touring. But at that time, I loved the sport unconditionally. It had me. Now, I feel it’s pushing me away. The media turning on fans for the past 18 months. The fans turning on the fans (I genuinely believe I only retaliated when attacked – others may differ). It’s not England cricket as I remember it. It’s a sad look back, to a sad test, and a sad outcome.

Oh, and I did this. Count the chins…..

Too much sun....
Too much sun….

Hope you enjoyed the above. I am feeling rather cheesed off, and hope that writing the memory stuff works for you lot, and gets me back. It’s been a rollercoaster. Feeling up, and then down. Angry tweets, repentant deletions. I am fed up feeling I need to justify myself, when I got to do things like this. I’m not special. I’m just a bloody ordinary cricket fan, who writes a blog. Some may not like what I write, some may be envious of the traction it got, some may call me a broken record. But it’s mine (and TLG’s).

Have a good night.

Open Thread

I said on Twitter earlier that I was taking another night off, and at the moment, I’m not sure what to write even if I did. Real life is a bit of a grind, and I’m incredibly disheartened by the aftermath of the Ashes.

As you all know, I go through these little troughs, and I pop back up. So be patient, and I’m sure TLG might fill in some gaps when he has time.

So in the absence of something to hang your hats on, please comment away on all things cricket below.

See you shortly.

Dmitri / LCL

Colley Street

So. I was walking out of the office, down to the station, and on the train home, and I’m wondering. What do I write tonight? Anything? Leave things alone and have a night off?

I don’t think I can. The atmosphere among cricket circles is, certainly, from what I can see, venomous. The vast majority of England cricket fans don’t give two hoots about how the game is run, and just want to enjoy the game. There is, I know, widespread ambivalence to the ins and outs of cricket administration, office politics, personal disputes. But I’ve been on this trip for a while, and I know others feel like me.

Now. Let me get this straight. I didn’t want to do this, because it is a bit like dick waving, but here goes. I’m going to set down, in words, my cricket life.

  • I’ve been a member of Surrey CCC for about six or seven years. Gave up because I had to make savings.
  • I went to the Oval test for 15 years, often organising all our group’s tickets, outlaying the cash when I could afford to do so. Plus ODIs. Plus visits to Lord’s. Plus Trent Bridge. Stopped
  • Two Ashes tours of two tests each – Brisbane and Adelaide 2002; Adelaide and Perth 2006. Took the chance to see the SCG (NSW v South Australia) and MCG (Victoria v Queensland) on those trips.
  • A tour to South Africa in 2004-5 – Cape Town test and two days of Joburg (days 2 & 3, worse luck).
  • Played cricket at school. Scored for England Schools (one game – Mark Ealham, Chris Lewis, Mark Alleyne all played, and Paul Farbrace kept wicket for Kent). Played club cricket for 16 years. Captain of my work team for a few years, occasional social player until injury finished me off.
  • I used to record all cricket that I could. I had a library of VHS tapes with cricket (no, none of that, please) on that, once the DVD age came and the video they were recorded on died, I couldn’t play any more because the tracking was f*cked. I could have rivalled Rob Moody on Youtube, except copyright freaked me out. I still have most of England cricket on DVD since 2005 (first series was Pakistan), and as much of the international stuff that I can record. I’m a cricket nerd.
  • I have Wisdens dating back to the early 70s. I have mountains of cricket books. Lots and lots of them. I scour bookshops for some old accounts of tours gone by. Love bargains.
  • I keep all my ticket stubs, my match programmes, those silly things they hand out at games.
  • I yearn to be able to go on England tours again, or any cricket, but money is a lot tighter these days.
  • I’ve been cricket blogging for 5 or 6 years, first on HDWLIA and now here.
  • I blogged on a previous host, frequently talking about cricket on there too.
  • As you know, I’m a mad keen photographer of the game. Every game I go to, I try to take pictures of the action, to get that great shot. Like this one….
Justin Langer bowled first ball - 2nd Innings, Perth 2006
Justin Langer bowled first ball – 2nd Innings, Perth 2006
  • I have written about how I hated nets. I have written about the traumatic experience of making a diamond duck. I have written about bad press well before the incidents of early last year. I’ve written of my tour to Australia in 2006. I’ve written pieces on here about how the 2005 Ashes were so important to me because of family events (and I want to send out my thoughts to one of our regular commenters, not naming them, but they know who they are, going through some awfully tough times at present). I’ve made lifelong friends, like Sir Peter, Danno, and the many, many top guys at Old Josephians, and with the business colleagues we play against.
  • I owe this sport a hell of a lot.

DON’T

ANYONE

EVER

F*CKING

QUESTION

HOW

MUCH

I LOVE

THIS

SPORT

I do not question those who do not agree with me on their’s. I do not hold myself up as a better or worse supporter than anyone else, just that I love the sport of cricket and care deeply about it. I really didn’t want to list this, but it needs saying, as evidence of track record, of loving the game, especially tests. For once I’ve done it. If you’ve been a long-term reader of this blog, then you’d know it. I don’t need to tell you, you don’t need to tell me.

I muted someone on Twitter – yes, I know – who absolutely gets on my tits. I don’t block. This wouldn’t piss me off as much except that I know that a number of others feel the same, but won’t say it. I warned Maxie not to talk to him, but he did. When he’s not telling someone they are beyond parody, he’s churning out this line.

and again

and again

He’s an insignficant little so and so, I know, but I’m not letting this lie, and he can spout off all he likes on his Twitter feed. But this is my home ground, and I’ll comment here. I don’t give a shit if he’s an “England supporter”. So am I.

Oh, I got this:

Look, I know. I shouldn’t give this pathetic excuse the oxygen of publicity he so certainly craves. The effort, the sustained effort to put logical thoughts into words to craft posts etc. is something we can all look forward to from him when the time comes, although, like me, Jack Byrne, James Morgan and Maxie Allen, it’ll be beyond parody. And no, none of this was directed at me, but it was directed at some of our blogging comrades, and I’m not having it. Je Suis Maxie and James and all that.

You see, we attack the ECB.  I’ve given up trying to get into rational debate about Alastair Cook, every bit as much as I am about getting into a rational debate about KP. As for Strauss, well. Let’s see on this one, eh?

Some can separate the ECB from England.

I UNDERSTAND

HOW

YOU

CAN

DO

THAT

Now, when we attack people from having the opposite point of view, its usually aimed at journalists, ignorant people on social media or, most importantly, the ECB.

When they attack someone of the opposite point of view, they attack us. Nice. And when we go back at you, we get that drivel.

James Morgan, today, tried to tread the middle path. I tried that last year when I was sick of all the rows, and nothing happened. Of course it didn’t. The schism remains, and neither side of it can wish it away. Wounds run too deep. They aren’t petty, they are deep. To see my blog described, and it’s mine and Maxie he’s having a pop at, as “anti-England”, I just get angrier and angrier. I do not see life through your damn prism, so don’t keep telling me you have it right.

I am royally pissed off. If people take pleasure in that, that’s up to them. I don’t. There’s no hint at rapprochement here. People want blood. I’m not pretending for one minute that I’ve been a model citizen, and I’ve lost my rag every now and again, but I see precious little of that from the opposing view.

I say “beware the man who claims he is honest, because he’s usually a liar, and that’s his first one”, but you get honesty on here from me. If someone cheeses me off, then I react. Big or small. I’d fisk Dominic Lawson’s dog whistle article if I could be arsed, but he’s a toffee nosed prick who thinks there’s not a sliver of difference in KP and Cook’s commercial attitudes, and then denigrates an entire England legend’s career. You haven’t found me doing that to Cook. I’d rage on about Ed Smith, but he’s just ingratiating himself with authority, and he’s definitely their kind of person. See SeanB, who knows a thing or two about Middlesex, about that man’s credentials. Then there’s the BTL buffoons.

I return to James Morgan’s piece. Can’t we all just get along? Public Enemy, in my one culture reference of the piece, in their track “Whole Lotta Love Goin’ On” say “Rap is a contact sport”. This has been a contact sport all right. Some are sick of it. I think it’s just starting. I’m prepared for it. I’ve been doing it for a long time now.

I wish I could be more positive, but it ain’t happening. We were always going to be attacked, and we were always going to respond. I wanted to let the situation breathe. It hasn’t.

Anti-England. You precious idiots. Bring it on…..

Have a good evening.

Only Ashes Test – Canterbury

The Ashes resume tomorrow with England trailing after the first three ODIs and really needing a win to take control of the series.

The game will be played over four days at the St. Lawrence Ground in Canterbury, and here is the place to post your comments over those next few days.

Given the prominence we will be giving to Death of a Gentleman, I regret that this post will be below that one for a while, but you lot have the gumption to find it.

All the very best to the England team, and I’ll be keeping a firm eye out when I can during office hours tomorrow.

Death of a Gentleman

We’re hardly the first to have our say about this most important of films, but given that importance, it remains essential that the message it conveys continues to be discussed and promoted.

It’s striking that the media reporting of this film has been extremely muted; some might say that a cricket documentary is hardly mainstream, but Fire in Babylon received far more attention. Amongst the written press, the ones who have talked about, or reviewed it, are those one would expect to see do so.  Yet of the major newspapers, the relative silence has been striking.  Even at the time of the Big Three’s effective takeover of the world game, the press was largely silent.  In this country, Scyld Berry and Lawrence Booth more than had their say, while in Australia Gideon Haigh was voluble in his criticism.  That’s not an exclusive list, but that so few “journalists” put their heads above the parapet says an awful lot.  Failing to hold the ECB to account over the way they manage the England cricket team is one thing, failing to hold the ICC and constituent boards to account for actions massively detrimental to the whole game is another entirely.  They could even hold a contrary view and express why they think it is a good idea – that at least would be something.  Silence is not.  It is an absolute disgrace, and the cricket press as a body should hang their heads in shame over it.

The broadcast media too has barely even mentioned it, with Test Match Special tiptoeing around the issues raised, and Sky not so much as acknowledging its existence.  Giles Clarke would have you believe it’s because administration isn’t of interest to anyone, only teams and players are, but the film details how when the ICC discovered the story being told, Jarrod Kimber’s press accreditation mysteriously went missing, while potential interviewees were warned off.  That it is a tale the various boards don’t want told is obvious.  The lengths they go to in order to prevent that is a different matter, and the silence from so much of the cricket press about a film that is central to the future of the game more than suspicious.

There are some telling asides away from the main narrative, such as Andrew Strauss bemoaning the rise in the number of short Test series, presumably an opinion given long before there was any possibility of him beingwithin the same ECB who were party to it.  Maybe someone will ask him.

The invention of T20 cricket in 2003 (by which we mean the professional invention, that club cricketers have known the game for years doesn’t count), and the subsequent creation of the IPL is often blamed for the threat to Test cricket, but it didn’t need to be.  As Haigh points out, for T20 to have an attraction, it has to be shorter than something.  There is absolutely no inherent reason why they couldn’t co-exist.  Indeed, the potential was and is there for T20 to support Test cricket while taking the game to brand new places and countries.  It was an opportunity to grow cricket, to nurture it and also to make money for the game.

The powerful argument Messrs Kimber and Collins build instead is of a venal, self-interested group who care little for the game except as a means of building power and making money.  Lots of money.  The IPL is central to this, as businessmen spied the opportunity to make a fortune.  Yet it would be too easy to simply blame India for everything, and there is a danger that the film will be dismissed there as nothing but an attack on an India that has been on the receiving end of a patronising attitude from the English and Australians through cricket history.  In that they certainly have a point, yet a second wrong doesn’t right the first one, and in any case blaming India solely would be to miss the point being made.

The IPL itself has undoubtedly become a monster, but one which is extremely popular, and on its own merits that should be a good thing for the game.  The trouble, as is apparent throughout the film is that it is run by those who don’t care about the wider game of cricket.  It is a means of enrichment, and when those in charge of the sport don’t have that innate love for it in its own right as a game, the dangers are clear.  That is why sporting governing bodies are meant to be neutral – or at least relatively neutral – in such matters, their role is to be the custodians of the wider sport, ensuring that naked commercial interests don’t damage the integrity of the sport itself.

For that is the fundamental central point.  The ICC is not a governing body in the true sense and never has been.  One of the striking things while watching the film is that it is so reminiscent of the goings on at FIFA.  And yet even FIFA have managed to expand football and have distributed serious wealth around the world, no matter how dubious the morality behind it.  The ICC in contrast, have a woeful record of furthering the game.  The example illustrated on screen was of the pathetic £30,000 funding given to China, a nation of such size and potential growth that it would be thought a country ripe for development and support.  Perhaps it is one degree of cynicism too far to think that cricket in China would be entirely against the interests of the current establishment, for whom a new market of over a billion people represents nothing but a potential threat to their power base.  Perhaps not too cynical after all.

The film makers did at least manage to get interviews with many of the major players in the drama – though Cricket Australia manage to come out of it rather better through the simple method of refusing all co-operation.  N. Srinivasan is consistently smooth, while failing to answer a single question, and Giles Clarke manages the impossible, by coming across as even more repulsive than normal.  If he’d been born Australian, he’d be called Sir Les Patterson.

Indeed, while Srinivasan stonewalls thoughout, it is Clarke who is the undoubted star of the drama, though not in the way he probably imagines himself to be.  Lord Woolf’s report into governance at the ICC – which was rejected by the ICC itself – is dismissed by Clarke in contemptuous and self-reverential terms.  Woolf had been scathing about the lack of accountability within the organisation in his own report, stating that the ICC behaved like a “members club” for whom the development of the game was secondary, and whose boards acted in their own self-interest rather than the overall good of the game.  Giles Clarke in the film actually inadvertently proved this by stating “I have every right to put my board’s interests first” – a comment that is notable for putting the interests of his board ahead of the interests of English cricket, let alone cricket more generally.

Woolf’s criticisms were  aimed at the old ICC, yet it was known at the time that India in particular were strongly opposed to his recommendations, which amounted to a democratisation of the organisation and the prevention of conflicts of interest.  A summary of those recommendations can be found on this link:

http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci-icc/content/story/551836.html

Far from approving the report that they had themselves commissioned, the three richest boards decided to go in the opposite direction.  India, England and Australia in great secrecy put together a plan whereby they would take effective control of the whole of the ICC.  The middle portion of the film covers the meeting held in Dubai, in secret and without being minuted, to put this plan together.  Kimber and Collins are rightly appalled at this, the behaviour of an autocracy with plenty to hide, not those supposedly appointed to be the custodians of the game.

“There is a paragraph which says: It is proposed that the ICC executive board forms a new committee of the ICC called the executive committee, which under new terms of reference will act as – and I emphasise this word – the SOLE recommendation committee on all constitutional, personnel, integrity, ethics, developments and nomination matters, as well as all matters regarding distributions from the ICC.

“I have never seen anything of that sort in a body of this nature.” – Lord Woolf

When the details of the carve up actually became apparent, it was worse than anyone could have imagined.  Over half the revenues of world cricket were to go directly into the back pockets of the three biggest boards, with India taking the largest share.  That could be argued to be reasonable enough in principle, given that India generate the largest amount.  Of far more concern and fully detailed, was the fait accompli presented to every other cricket nation to accept it, with each other Test nation to receive a mere 5% of the pot.  Former ICC President Ehsan Mani calculated that $300 million over 10 years would be cut from the ICC Development Programme, to be redirected to the coffers of the already wealthy.

At the same time, the plan to reduce the size of the World Cup to 10 teams makes the ICC the only sporting body to actively try to shrink their game globally – a truly astounding policy.

And here is where the initial concept behind the film – the fears for Test cricket – are beautifully brought into focus.  For the other Test playing nations were neither consulted, nor given any real opportunity to object.  One of those happens to be the side who are currently the best in the world in the form of South Africa, but it applies whether or not they are good on the field.  The flexing of muscles extended to making it abundantly clear that any opposition and those countries could forget about getting lucrative tours from India.  Bullying is rarely an edifying sight, and had already been seen in India’s response to Haroon Lorgat becoming the Chief Executive of Cricket South Africa.  Earlier than that, Tim May had been ousted from the ICC Cricket Committee, with it being reported in the Australian press – and repeated by Tim May – the BCCI had put pressure on Test captains to vote for Laxman Sivaramakrishnan instead.  Sivaramakrishnan is an employee of India Cements, whose Managing Director is one Narayanaswami Srinivasan.

Test cricket outside of the big three nations was thus put on life support, with other nations unable to make it pay, except through the largesse and exceptional and well known kindness of India, England and Australia.

“The intention to entrench a privileged position for ‘The Big Three’ appears to be an abuse of entrusted power for private gain, giving them disproportionate, unaccountable and unchallengeable authority” – Transparency International

N. Srinivasan was duly made the Chairman of the ICC, the proposal was passed, and what Scyld Berry called “the worst thing that has ever happened in our sport” was made real.

If India’s dominance wasn’t leading to a good outcome, the acquiescence, nay roaring approval, of England and Australia was worse.  Instead of looking at the wider interests of the game, they instead decided to grab as big a piece of the pie themselves and stuff the rest of the world.  England’s own conduct is entirely reflective of that – the much vaunted return of five Test series for iconic opponents quickly and silently excluded South Africa from the list, for reasons that have not been disclosed.  England decided to focus almost entirely on matches against India and Australia instead.  Bangladesh, a nation new to Test cricket will likely go a decade between tours of England, and while they may not be currently the greatest of draws, the reality is that they never will be under this global regime.  In discussions on these boards, D’Arthez did the mathematics on England’s recent schedule, and as such deserves to be quoted in full:

Since the start of 2011, there have been 47 matches between Australia and England across formats. A few of those were in World Cups / Champions Trophies T20 World Cups, but still. Compare that to the number of England / South Africa games which stands at 14. An eye-watering three of those were Tests. Pakistan stands at 10 (mostly all from the UAE tour of 2012). Bangladesh stands at 2 games in the World Cup, both games won by Bangladesh.

Australia has played 47 games against England in that period. They have played 6 against New Zealand. 4 against Bangladesh, and 3 against Zimbabwe.

India have played 42 games against England. 31 against Australia, and also (surprisingly) 31 against West Indies. 12 games against Pakistan, 11 games against Zimbabwe and 10 games against New Zealand.

Now I am aware that this snapshot may not be fair, but scheduling is not rational: we have had 3 Ashes series since the last time Australia played Tests against New Zealand for instance, or England played against Pakistan. So it is impossible to take a “fair” snapshot courtesy of the ICC.

Schedules are simply becoming increasingly dominated by teams of financially similar standings to make more money. Yay for the scrapping of the FTP. So you get a group of India, Australia, England, who dominate the fixtures between each other. England plays close to 50% of its ODIs against Australia and India for instance.

It is only going to get worse.  The other nations seeking the scraps as they are dropped from the top table, and playing more lucrative ODIs or T20s against each other when they have no one else to play against, rather than Tests.  Furthermore, what is the point of a nation like Ireland seeking Test status when this is environment in which they will be operating.  They have already been kicked in the teeth over the reduction in size of the World Cup – reduction in number of teams that is, the number of games will be barely affected, and now the Tests they hope to play will be thoroughly devalued, if not scrapped entirely, except when the Big Three deign to notice them.

Clarke attempted to make the claim that he was acting for the good of cricket, and in a nauseatingly self-justifying section pointed to his being unpaid in his role.  Curiously enough, this writer is on an industry board, also unpaid, and does so partially because of the professional advantage it gives him.  It’s best left there.

Clarke also refused to answer any kinds of questions about the Stanford affair, an example of sacrificing the values of cricket and the integrity of the England team on the altar of naked commercialism.  That it was arranged with a criminal is actually the least of the sins involved, for a national team is meant to be representative of that country, not a play thing for filthy lucre.  He not only survived that episode, but went on to create his own position of President (sarcastically referenced in the end credits) responsible for ECB dealings with the ICC which both indicates an awareness of where the real power lies, and a complete lack of any kind of integrity or conscience.  Clarke also managed to demonstrate his familiar sense of timing and old-fashioned courtesy so evident at the Wisden dinner (a note here: Lawrence Booth’s rebuff towards Clarke was sufficiently stylish and acute that it will doubtless be noted down for future retaliation by the great man) by not realising he was on the ICC’s own cameras when noting about Collins “that idiot Sam is outside”.

When the viewer is watching so aghast at the naked greed on display that even Lalit Modi appears to be something of a good guy in arguing against what is happening, the trouble the game in is clear.  It is more than right to be deeply sceptical of his motives in suddenly discovering the soul of cricket, but the news today that he intends to set up a rival governing body to the ICC ironically represents the kind of challenge that is not appearing from any other quarter – our film making heroes notwithstanding.

An interesting comment made is that his intention is that it be affiliated to the Olympic movement, and another strand of investigation in Death of a Gentleman is the refusal of the Big Three to countenance the idea of cricket being an Olympic sport.  Clarke tries to defend this on the utterly preposterous grounds that it would disrupt the English season.  And so it would.  Every four years.  When it would disrupt the season in the same way that Tests and One Day Internationals do.  What he really means is that it wouldn’t earn the ECB any money.

T20 would be perfect as an Olympic sport; it would massively raise the profile of the game, it would allow countries all over the world to appear at a major sporting event on a level playing field.  There is no downside for cricket whatsoever, there is only a downside for those who would not be able to control it as it would be organised by the IOC, and it would not make any money for those who care about little else.  Quite simply, they cannot make any kind of rational argument against it, so resort to bluster.

And in all of this, what of the cricket fan?  What of the supporter, who pays his hard earned money to watch the greats of the game?  One of the most pointed comments in the film is that the fans are there to be monetised, and that the broadcasters and boards are the only ones who matter.  The objections to the conduct of the ECB need to be seen in the context of this, for in all the documentation and comment about the changes to the ICC, there is no mention whatever of the interests of the spectator.  Not one word.  Nor is there any reference to the amateur game – which shouldn’t be any kind of surprise when the associates and the affiliates are so roundly ignored and disparaged.

Jarrod Kimber and Sam Collins have made a film that every single person with an interest in cricket needs to watch.  This is all being done in our name, by an organisation that is meant to have the interests of the game we love at heart, by constituent cricket boards who are meant to look after the game in their home countries.  It is nothing other than the complete theft of an entire sport by a self-appointed oligarchy bent on advancing their own interests.   When the English cricket fan watches this international summer, he or she basks in the enjoyment of beating the Australians but laments that only two Tests were scheduled against New Zealand.  It is all part of the whole rotten edifice.  The ECB claimed that the Ashes needed to be rescheduled because of the World Cup in order to prevent players being burned out for the premier one day competition.  It would then revert to a four year cycle.  Oh really.  Is that except for the plans in the 2020s when it doesn’t?

From the village green to the barest patch of ground to packed out stadiums, the subject of this wonderful film affects every single person with a passion for the game.  It is polemical, it asks the right questions, and that it doesn’t get all the answers is not down to any shortcomings on the part of the makers, but entirely due to the reluctance of those in and below the ICC to have their dealings exposed to public scrutiny.

You need to see it.  And you need to digest it.  And tell your friends.  The makers have set up http://www.changecricket.com/ to campaign to get our game back.  It’s up to us all to support them in that, because while we may not succeed, if we don’t try then we have no chance.  And we will deserve all we get.

TLG

Dmitri View – I too have watched the film. I did so last week, but wanted TLG to cast his eye over it too. I’m sure you’ll agree, he’s done an amazing, thorough review. I know Arron is also watching it tonight, and I’d seriously recommend the film to all of you.

This is not about this blogger, or those of you on here, switching horses to another narrative, because the ECB and the way it interacts with us and other bodies in our name is part of the discourse on this blog nearly every day. Jarrod and Sam undertook this venture to discuss test cricket and instead saw the writing on the wall when they started delving deeper. Cricket is another sport being milked for cash, with corporate parasites getting their millions of pounds of flesh in an orgy of self-interest, short-termism and blatant profiteering. Sport shouldn’t be about supply and demand, it should be about equal access. Sport engenders great things in people, makes them strive, better themselves, set themselves targets they may never reach. It encourages camaraderie, spending hours with people, making lifelong mates. In the world we live in that is abused. That love of playing is there, as Gideon Haigh speaks so eruditely, to be monetised.

I can bark at the moon all I like, but cricket is just like all the rest. While the heart-strings are pulled a little by the Ed Cowan portions of the film, the rest did not shock me. Not in the slightest. I sat there getting more and more angry at a world governing body that runs the sport firmly behind closed doors. At an ECB that plays its full part in keeping it that way. It may be in our players short-term interests to trouser more money for playing for England, but who are they going to play against? Australia and India ad infinitum? I remember the 2003 series v South Africa, and the one in 2004-5 too. Five test series, absolutely brilliant cricket, entertaining and thrilling. We’ve not played them in a five test series since, but in the past three years have had mind-numbing, one-sided (results) series. This isn’t growing the game in this country, it’s putting on endless repeats.

I can’t add much more to TLG’s piece, except to finish up with Giles Clarke. I refuse to believe this man still does not hold the wheels of power in English cricket. You barely hear a peep out of Colin Graves, but Clarke still bestrides world cricket like a colossal oaf. Only oafs can be innocent. He isn’t. In no way. The contempt, the disdain, the arrogance, the sheer affront that these two “journalists” should have the gall to question this Ozymandias? How very dare they! England, we are told, are not in his grip any more. The ECB isn’t his. I don’t believe them. Because the same attitudes persist. I’ve not seen a change from them. Not really. Still sticking to the Big Three, still no apology for “outside cricket”, still no recognition of the fans. Clarke sums it up with his advice, which I’ve heard before, that no-one is interested in cricket administration. Jarrod and Sam bring this dripping condescension through. Loud and clear.

It’s a terrific film, has its rough edges, but you can’t deny that the message is clear, despite the critics saying there is no smoking gun, no silver bullet (how ridiculous is that in the context of something else we all remember). It shows the ICC and the three organisations that now dominate to be unaccountable, have no transparent governance, and they’d wish questioners away without a care.

I ain’t going nowhere, sunshine, and nor are Jarrod and Sam. #ChangeCricket could do a lot worse than #AGilesClarkeFreeECB.

@DmitriOld    

@BlueEarthMngmnt

Together, The Leg Glance and Dmitri Old/LordCanisLupus are “Being Outside Cricket”

@OutsideCricket

See more information on Death of a Gentleman at the website – http://deathofagentlemanfilm.com/ – as well as following their Twitter page – https://twitter.com/doagfilm.

ChangeCricket is their new portal, so check that out – http://www.changecricket.com/ while Jarrod Kimber and Sam Collins are both on Twitter at @sampsoncollins and

You can watch the trailer for Death of a Gentleman here:

King William Street

What do the Ashes mean to you? The wrapping up of the extremely one-sided Trent Bridge test has brought the majority of English fans out into raptures of delight. To see how the worm has turned, one only has to look at the headline of Tom Fordyce’s piece on BBC Sport. “Have the Ashes become to predictable?” he asks. Really? Very few predicted England would win this series, and now we’ve gone full circle. I was tempted to throw in a spurious Twelfth Night reference (as the only Billy play I’ve read, and that was out of educational necessity) but that would be pretentious. However, if this Ashes series is anyone’s idea of the food of love, then I would quite like the band to stop playing.

Oh dear. Am I being a frightful curmudgeon?

Who’s that Greek fella who rolls the bloody stone up hill? That one. I feel a bit like him. So let me please do this one more time just to make sure those who want to use my words against me, as some elegant escape narrative for the constant misrepresentation of my points. So, as the bullets were so effective in the last post, let’s play it again Sam, as Humphrey Bogart.did not say in the 1942 film Casablanca, directed by Michael Curtiz, and did you know Casablanca is not the capital of Morocco, and Rick Blaine is not the brother of David Blaine. Anyway, bullets (not rubber, as 10CC sang about in their 1973 single):
•    KP is not the illness, he is the symptom of the high-handed treatment the ECB showed towards those they need to build the sport;. The fans. Some of you were OK with it. I was not.
•    Outside Cricket is not just about Piers Morgan. Carry on believing that if you wish. This ia about a toffee-nosed, self-selecting elite telling the people who pay their wages that they are not to be concerned with the important things. Like THEIR national side.
•    I think Giles Clarke needs to be completely relieved of all duties for cricketing reasons. This is the clean break most needed in the sport in this country. He is, in my view, a malign, contemptuous, entitled charlatan, with about as much empathy as the desk fan I have next to me.
•    As certain ECB personnel leaked like my cistern, they are complicit in this episode. To suddenly forget this is not on. Absolutely not on. This may, or may not, be linked to the bullet point above.
•    The print media acquiesced and now, after 18 months, they believe the furore has passed. An Ashes win has been a pleasant surprise to them, and now they’ll milk it. And in some cases, settle scores.

TLG wrote a very good piece about his reactions to the Ashes. It was, as usual, excellently put together, brilliantly argued, and he can pay me a bit more if he wants any more nice words. As I said, I  can never want England to lose to Australia. That is not in my DNA. I walked down King William Street after the 5th Day in 2006. It was a walk of utter despair, total humiliation and a recognition that a week that started with decent expectations, and indeed with two excellent days to start the test, had gone downhill and then collapsed. It was pitiful. I’ve seen my team lose to a last minute goal at Wembley, a last minute goal in a play-off semi-final and an FA Cup Final, and I’ve never been gutted as I was that day. It was a day long torture session. English angst and passivity powerless in front of mental disintegration. It was a day we were stripped bare. So I’m not in this for the glory or the kudos, and I’ve seen the bad times, and paid a ton
of money to do it. Don’t attack my credentials. To be labelled, as we were in that wretched buffoon Ed Smith’s piece as akin to desperate students trying to garner support for a cod-Marxist rally, I say this. I’m fucking delighted to have been at your last test match, and seen your last test dismissal. The termination of your test career. As Arnie didn’t say “I won’t be back”. (I don’t like being this churlish, but stuff it. He goes on like he’s the world’s brightest light. Arrogant in the extreme).

I’ve seen one tweeter in particular, who Dave Tickner and Dan Brigham gave more house room to than he was entitled, keen to rub people’s noses in it. That an England fan thinks the upshot of the last 18 months is to gloat into other supporters’ faces is an acceptable conclusion, then well. I never meant to gloat in front of other fans unless they were being arses to me and people I give a damn about, and it wasn’t even gloating – it was despair. I would aim my points at the press, the ECB and their enablers, and yes, that included Alastair Cook. Try finding a bad word on this, or my previous blog, about Joe Root, Gary Ballance, Moeen Ali, Mark Wood, Steven Finn, Jos Buttler, Ben Stokes, Adam Lyth, Sam Robson et al. You won’t, unless it’s about cricket performance. This “I’m a better supporter than you” bollocks is that. I have a view, and people read it, but I never claim to be a better supporter. People who oppose my views, and slag me off, are supporters. The difference is, I acknowledge that. They don’t. Oh – the tweeter concerned shares the same surname as the England captain. A nice coincidence.

There’s a long KP related piece in the works to give people the ammunition to call me an obsessive, but that will be released on an appropriate date. What I want to do in the remainder of this ramble is to just set out my feelings on the Ashes triumph.

Supreme indifference.

You want to know why? You know why if you’ve been reading this blog, and it has naff all to do with Kevin Pietersen. Just watch the last Giles Clarke interview in Death of a Gentleman about journalists and administration. Just read Maxie’s incredible piece on The Full Toss. Just read How Did We Lose In Adelaide. Just read @jamiecook1988 and his twitter chat with Tickers and Brigham. Just read Mike Selfey. Just read Paul Newman. Just read Stephen Brenkley. Just read FICJAM. Just attend a speaking engagement with Lovejoy. Just buy The Cricketer. Just read anything by either Alec Swann or The Analyst. Just read Derek Pringle. Watch Paul Allott on Cricket Writers on TV. 

The malcontents are treated as the enemy without, not even within – hence the name of this blog. Not once do those who criticise really try to understand why we are like we are – and I am being presumptuous on my clientele here, so do permit me to use “we”. They think we are that fickle that an Ashes win will bring us back into the fold. Fact is, we never left. We were just stuck in the naughty corner of the pen, and the only way to get in with the crowd is to come back with our tail between our legs. Admit we are wrong. Say we are sorry. Bow down to our masters. We are supplicants who need to know their place. WE WERE WRONG. ADMIT IT.

Ain’t gonna happen. I’ll be around for a while yet. So get used to it FICJAM and others. I ain’t going away. I remain, for now, firmly Outside Cricket.