The Poll Winners Party – Journalists

It’s that time of year. Here’s the rundown of the top 10 journalists, as voted by a combination of you and me….. The numbers in brackets relate to the last year’s poll.… The votes were collated from responses to the Poll in September, my scoring (counting a bit more) and some e-mail write-ins. It’s a bit arbitrary, and only one is a true outlier based on my scoring.

The “winner” scored 54. The runner-up 44. The third 24. A clear hierarchy.

I also announce the winner of the best journalist of the year at the end, as well – there’s rather a big clue! Again, voted by you (and me).

So, not to be taken absolutely seriously, but giving a guide to the thoughts of the blogging community on this site, here we go. Don’t like it, well….

10. Alec Swann (New entry)

For shite like this…


The Cricketer is going downhill quicker than Franz Klammer. That ages me.

9. Martin Samuel (New entry)

Allowed loose on the Ashes. It didn’t go down well.

Now, there’s some history here. On the football side of things. But I didn’t vote for him, because, frankly, he’s not a cricket journalist. I have no idea what Lee Clayton was thinking allowing him loose on the Ashes. Some of you loved him enough for your top fives.

Martin Samuel Wanted

8. John Etheridge (Down 1 )

Our best friend, but cricket in the Sun isn’t prominent enough, and doesn’t have enough depth to really resonate, and most on here don’t read it ( I get to look during work days – a colleague has a copy). However, no doubt the antics over KP’s gift, the secrecy of cricket journalism, and Ibbotson-gate have had an effect. But still low in this poll for someone so prominent.

7. Derek Pringle (Down 6 )

Pringle Missing

Since his removal from the Telegraph pages, his stock has fallen / risen (depending on which way you see this). His 11 of 17 prediction has sustained us throughout the summer. Now some advisor to Oman which you might have missed in the press this summer.

6. Stephen Brenkley (Down 1 )

Einstein Bunkers

None of you lot voted for him! He’s here because my votes count more than your’s.  Brenkley, or Bunkers as he is known around here, is everything we used to not like around here. An ECB defender, a man with aplomb. His presence, or lack due to the fact hardly anyone reads it, at the Independent is a constant. Long may he continue. I love him dearly.

5. Paul Newman (Down 2 )

There are three new entries that have kicked Newman down to this slot. As rabid an anti-KP man as there is on Journalist Row, he suddenly saw his position challenged in one outstanding article by one of our newbies. He still does his thing, it’s just that we’re more tired it of it than we used to be, he finished 6th in my list.

4. Jim Holden (New Entry)

Invaluable. To be protected at all times.
Invaluable. To be protected at all times.

One article. Just one. It is all it takes.

3. Simon Hughes (New Entry)

Editor At Large

This is spectacular. The Editor at Large of the Cricketer has had such an effect that he got to number three. A curious character – part bar room bore, part man of the people, part analyst, part throw all that shit out of the window. He leads this pack of the bottom 8 of the top 10, being a lot closer to 10th in the scoring than he is to number 2.

2. Ed Smith (New Entry)

Ed Smith News

Wow. A staggering high new entry for FICJAM. That he finished so close to the clear number 1 speaks volumes. What has he done? Here’s a word of advice Ed. We like clever people, but what we don’t like are clever people who tell the world that they are really really clever. And then you add on to that that you actually write all your articles with a patronising, almost supercilious air. Also, that those articles actually usually have a really simple message. He’s becoming a figure of fun. Many people wanted me to make him a Dmitri. Maybe next year of articles in Intelligent Life, The New Statesman… anyone else. And, of course, when he pairs up with Lovejoy on TMS.

1. Mike Selvey (Up 1 )

He’s there. It’s why he’s this year’s journalist Dmitri. That article pretty much covers it.

I do wonder if he has, at last, watched Death of a Gentleman.

The Selvey Winner

Disappearing from last September are #10 – Graeme Swann (no votes), #9 – Malcolm Conn (no votes), #8 – Jonathan Agnew (no votes), #6 Andy Wilson (no votes) and #4 Michael Henderson (no votes). Those bubbling under are Andy Bull, Chris Stocks and would you believe it…. George Dobell!


Our Future, In His Hands
Our Future, In His Hands

The winner of the best journalist is Jarrod Kimber. He beat out Sam Collins, Gideon Haigh and George Dobell.

Finally. George Sad Face…

Dobell Sad Face



22 thoughts on “The Poll Winners Party – Journalists

  1. Rooto Dec 30, 2015 / 9:23 pm

    Although I didn’t vote, I had fun reading this. Looked like you had fun putting it together too. Thanks.
    Someone (Simon?) on the previous thread pointed out how cricket pieces are increasingly opinionated. Perhaps because we can get more information more quickly than in the past. Therefore, we can’t be informed by the all-knowing correspondent, and they resort to a) what their mates tell them and b) their prejudices.
    That’s bad enough, but when they then try and pass it off as the same level of insight, it becomes unprofessional.
    What separates our number 1 from his challengers is the bile reserved for the punters who call him out on it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thelegglance Dec 30, 2015 / 11:19 pm

      Well, if there’s one area I have a degree of sympathy with them (just the one) it’s that in the old days describing what happened during play was sufficient for an audience that hadn’t seen it. If they were really good journalists they would be able to impart a flavour of the game in the same report.

      Now, the chances are that most of those reading have seen it too, so a straight recitation of the action doesn’t work. The last few days I’ve been conscious of it too, what’s the point posting on here what happened when you saw it with your own eyes? The problem is that they don’t analyse, they do exactly what you say above instead.


  2. greyblazer Dec 30, 2015 / 9:25 pm

    Interesting. There’s not much love for journalists here.
    I follow most of these on twitter, some engage, some don’t. I barely read their articles mind.
    Two surprises, I thought Simon Hughes was very respected.
    And an ommision, Dean Wilson. Find him very switched on.


    • Grenville Dec 30, 2015 / 10:08 pm

      My favourite journalist is Firdose Moonda. She can write and she somehow balances fandom, criticism and insight. She only really writes on the saffers but she’s good.

      Personally I find Kimber a bit OTT. More power to his elbow. He knows what the issue is and he’s going for it. I’m not a huge fan of the style.

      er not sure what the point was.


    • Mark Dec 30, 2015 / 10:08 pm

      I don’t think you really understand this blog or the people who post here to be honest.

      But hey ho, it’s a free blogosphere. Each to their own.

      Are you listed as GreyBlazer on Twitter? Just in case I might follow you.


      • greyblazer Dec 31, 2015 / 10:47 am

        I am trying 🙂
        No, I’m not. It was already taken. Are you listed as Mark?


  3. Arron Wright Dec 30, 2015 / 9:31 pm

    That top 3 makes me the BOC 2015 equivalent of Basildon Man 92 or Worcester Woman 97!

    Or maybe someone else got full Yahtzee with their votes…?


  4. Rohan Dec 30, 2015 / 10:13 pm

    Love the photos Dmitri. Especially the subtlety of the Selvey image in the magazine, with a certain ex-chairman on the other page, wonder what this was hinting at!

    I wholeheartedly concur with Hughes and FICJAM, I find Hughe’s particularly obnoxious in the way he describes KP. FICJAM, despite all of his intelligence, comes across as stupid because he makes it so complicated to say simple things.

    Ps, I just posted on TLG 1st review and my post has not appeared, this has happened to me before! Any ideas?…..,,.

    Liked by 1 person

    • LordCanisLupus Dec 30, 2015 / 10:17 pm

      Up now. For some reason it went to Spam. I thought only Escort’s did (for obvious reasons, with that name…..)


        • LordCanisLupus Dec 30, 2015 / 10:54 pm

          There’s been an odd spike in hits from Kwazulu Natal tonight…..


      • Escort Dec 30, 2015 / 10:42 pm



        • LordCanisLupus Dec 30, 2015 / 10:46 pm

          Just to let you know, be patient.

          FYI – main spam at the moment is [icehockeyplayer] replica jersey…..


  5. SimonH Dec 30, 2015 / 10:15 pm

    Seeing No.3 was a reminder to look up the conclusion of his ten greatest batsmen since 1975. As expected, he annointed Jacques Kallis as the greatest. Now, I love Kallis and would have him solidly in my top ten – but that is ridiculous.

    The Analyst stuck rigidly to combined Test/ODI batting average (except when he didn’t – Chanderpaul would be No.10 if he did). Shouldn’t a self-proclaimed analyst analyse that measure? Test run-scoring has remained fairly constant but ODI run-scoring most definitely has not. There are also factors like strength of bowling and importance of the occasion. Kallis specifically benefited from a large number of not outs.

    Liked the mention of Franz Klammer in No.10! Has there been a better two and a half minutes in sport:


    • BoredInAustria Dec 31, 2015 / 1:13 am

      I can of course only commend! 🙂


  6. Mark Dec 30, 2015 / 10:54 pm

    I still think is funny that John Etheridge writes for the Sun. A bit like Bertie Wooster working for the gasworks.

    His ludicrous, over the top moral outrage at your use of Doug Ibbotson was one of my highlights of the year for pomposity from a journalist. If you want to work for Mr Murdoch John, fine, but you lose your right to lecture others on morality.

    I had a wee bit of sympathy for Pringle. Mainly because he was the only one of the (lets get Kevin media gang) who actually was held accountable for what he wrote. He paid the price, while all the others remain in post. Hip hip hooray for the Telegraph. Now there’s a first.

    Bunkers, like most at the Independent is irrelevant because no one reads the paper. A Newspaper that has lost its soul, and most of its readers. Even its social conscious football writer has decamped to the Telegraph.

    I can’t take anyone seriously at The Cricketer magazine. Talk about group think? Who hires the writers? Andy Flower?

    As for Ed Smith, is he even a journalist? A pundit, maybe? A commentator, certainly. I believe he sees himself as an Essayist. His one topic , repetitive, boring essays could all be entitled… “what I should have done when I was a captain.”

    Not much left to be said about Selvey. He seems to have morphed into a character from the fast show. A cross between competitive dad, and the bloke who can’t say black without smashing up his paint set.

    Happy new year all!

    Liked by 2 people

      • Escort Dec 30, 2015 / 11:14 pm

        To give others a chance of winning this prestigious award next year would it be fair to suggest you find a form of handicapping system for your much loathed Guardian cricket corespondent?


        • LordCanisLupus Dec 30, 2015 / 11:15 pm

          FICJAM is remarkably close for a newcomer. Don’t forget, he hasn’t won before, Pringle did.


    • Rohan Dec 30, 2015 / 11:19 pm

      Mark, I agree about The Etheridge Ibbotson incident, but I would add that regardless of the paper he works for, I don’t think he has the right to tell anyone whose image they can and cannot use. I would have found it pompous/ludicrous, for any journalist to respond as he did. It was just self-adsorbed, self-important ‘inside cricket’, ‘in the bubble’ typical rubbish.


  7. Arron Wright Dec 30, 2015 / 11:34 pm

    One eloquent testament to the work performed by our top ten would be the responses to this tweet:


  8. BoredInAustria Dec 31, 2015 / 1:23 am

    Great post, as were the others over the last days!

    Thank you Mr D for this blog and the posts, the artist formerly known as Vian, all the other regulars. You are the best set of cricket observers around.

    The events in Kingsmead (well done to England and especially Compton) seems to bode troubled times for anyone outside the Big 3. Very sad if Cook is to be considered the Captain of the World XI…

    Have a good “rutsch” (slide in to 2016???) as we say in Austria…


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