Perhaps the one thing all will agree upon is that a series consisting of only two Tests has proved to be a terrible mistake. These things are decided some years in advance of course, and New Zealand’s rise to become a team to reckon with on the field rather than just in words wasn’t known at the time of scheduling. That is still no excuse whatever, and it shouldn’t happen again. The trouble is, it is already going to happen again. England are scheduled next to visit New Zealand in early 2018 for five ODIs, a T20 and…..two Tests. It is probably too much to hope the two boards are in contact about changing that.
If ever a short series was crying out for a decider, this is it. For all the observations on individuals and performances which will follow, the cricket throughout has been thrilling. New Zealand are certainly the ones who set the agenda given that this is how they play, but England did catch the bug at different times, and it does take two sides to ensure the cricket is of the nature we have seen. That England couldn’t maintain that approach in the second Test shouldn’t be surprising in itself – that they tried to in the first is worthy of note given the style of the side over the last few years.
For this match there is no question than that New Zealand thoroughly and completely deserved their win. Perhaps the most startling demonstration of their approach is shown by the fact that they only batted 163 overs in the match, against England’s 200 – yet winning by the huge margin of 199 runs. Yet England scored at 3 an over across the match, which might not be scintillating, but isn’t tardy either, especially when the last day was taken up with trying to survive. Given that so much time was lost to rain- equivalent to a full day – and that New Zealand won in the final session of the last day, it can be said to have borne dividends to the ultimate extent. Without such a high risk approach, and given a decent surface and inclement conditions, this match would have been a fairly tame draw. Indeed the weather turned out to be kinder on the last day than they could have hoped for, and definitely better than the forecasts indicated – the anticipated rain taking out up to a session would have ensured a stalemate and an England series win.
There can therefore be little argument that New Zealand are the most exciting team in world cricket today, and it is not unimportant to note that they do so while playing the game in such an excellent spirit. England too joined that particular party, which was good to see, because their own behaviour has fallen short on a number of occasions in recent times.
Yet none of this was particularly unknown before the series. Their opening bowling attack is extremely potent, and Trent Boult lived up to his reputation by proving frequently lethal and taking thirteen wickets in the two games. If anything, Southee proved to be a little disappointing. The sense of foreboding about this England side facing up to the assorted Mitches later in the summer is not misplaced. Most of the team did contribute in the series however, and that they won this Test so comfortably with no contributions from a player as good as Kane Williamson and not too much in either Test from Ross Taylor shows that there is depth in New Zealand cricket, and that hasn’t been said too often over the years.
And what of England? The problem so often is that the media do them no favours. The win in the first Test was something of a steal; for the first three days England were very much on the back foot, it took a fabulous innings from Cook and an extraordinary one from Stokes to turn that around. This is of course good in itself and was undeniably thrilling, but it didn’t warrant the glowing response from the usual sections of the press for the simple reason that relying on such heroics to win a match is no basis for assuming the health of the side to be so perfect. England do have some promising young players, and they do have some reasons for optimism. The trouble is that the coverage of English cricket has been so appallingly mendacious that it was both predictable and pathetic when the usual suspects piled in with glee as though a single win against the odds had answered every objection or criticism ever made. We might be used to the press being excessive, but it is unusual compared to most sports when they make excuses for every failing and then trumpet a single success. The England football team certainly don’t get such favourable treatment and nor should they.
An indication of this has been that after today’s defeat, the “five wins from the last eight Tests” line has been trotted out – of course it was “five from seven” until today – which is trying to shut down debate and criticism by clinging to raw figures of their choosing. Why pick eight? Why not twelve, so we can take into account the defeat to Sri Lanka and the Lords loss to India? Why not seventeen so we can include the Ashes shambles? Or go the other way and say “two wins and two defeats in the last five” which isn’t so impressive, especially when three of those matches were against the eighth ranked side in the world. It doesn’t mean that saying “nine defeats in the last seventeen Tests” is a more accurate figure, but it does mean it’s an equally valid one. To try and select a specific one of those and repeat it at every juncture (whichever one it is) is trying to push a particular point of view.
England do have some grounds for optimism – Cook’s return to form with the bat is essential to the success of the side, and it’s not just that he’s scoring runs it’s how he is scoring those runs that counts. Never mind how, count how many is true in the overall sense, but the how in terms of a specific player is important for indicating how many. Cook is batting very, very well. Yet again here it should not and must not be used to cover the issues with his captaincy. Yesterday morning’s bowling to the New Zealand tail was nothing less than a complete meltdown, not for the first time. Where the balance of blame lies for that is a matter of some discussion – Cook himself talked about it being very definitely a plan, which is extraordinary if so, given that time and again it results in England being flayed around the park. Others suggested with varying degrees of strength that it definitely wasn’t the plan, in which case the captain failing to overrule the bowlers is quite simply weak. Whichever it might be, it doesn’t look very impressive.
One side issue about his batting did come up during the Test, that he’d engaged Gary Palmer for some private coaching sessions. Good. He was seeking solutions and finding someone who could help him without direction from on high. There is nothing to criticise him for about this, just as there is nothing to criticise other players who use a person they trust. Players must look after their own game, and that doesn’t mean being confined to official structures; that would be just about the worst thing they could do. One or two in the press ought to have known better when using it as a stick to beat a particular player with.
Cook did OK as captain in the first Test. And that’s rather the point, he did OK. It shouldn’t have been treated with such praise for doing the tactical basics passably well. Yet there should be no problem in agreeing entirely that he was fine in that match, because it’s acknowledging how it is, just as it’s fine to acknowledge that he is batting superbly well. The problem arises in the complete ignoring of situations like yesterday morning. The Black Caps scored 116 in 16 overs in that morning session. An already strong but not impregnable lead turned into a position of total supremacy in the space of an hour. It is of course entirely possible that even had Cook and the team got it absolutely spot on, something similar could have happened (in any case, 350 or so would have likely been well beyond them), but it’s hard to avoid the conclusion that in that short period England well and truly threw away any remaining chance they had. It doesn’t help anyone to skate over things like this, a year ago at the same ground England more obviously disintegrated, but it is merely a matter of degree; the same occurred on the fourth morning this time too, and when put under identical pressure.
Joe Root’s comments that England would go all guns blazing for the total caused some wry amusement given five of the first six overs of the day were maidens, yet in reality they didn’t have a great deal of choice. Sometimes the opposition just bowl well. Root probably absolutely believed it at the time he said it, circumstances just changed rather quickly. In any event, England never had the option.
Other positives (which we must take of course) for England included Mark Wood, Adam Lyth and Jos Buttler. Lyth and Wood being two games into their nascent Test careers look promising, it’s not fair on either of them to push it further than that. But they should certainly be in the Ashes side given their performances.
Buttler has quietly gone about his business since coming into the team, and without ever going on to make a really big score has still impressed. Five half centuries in twelve innings is an excellent return, as is an average of 52.66. It doesn’t mean for a moment he will or can maintain that, but he can be quietly satisfied thus far. His keeping standing back has been good – he’s not the first to struggle at Lords – and his keeping standing up has been mostly adequate with a couple of technical flaws to address. There’s work to do there, but it’s a decent beginning.
We now move into the one day series, and the side announced today is actually quite exciting. There will be another time to discuss that, but in terms of how the Test side will look in July when the Ashes begins, the likelihood is that barring injuries it won’t be too different. Bell and Ballance have some work to do, as both need runs, but dropping Bell would be astonishing given his overall record, and would no doubt cause uproar given he is in the same kind of slump that Cook was fully supported throughout. He doesn’t seem terribly happy at present and he deserves precisely the same faith.
Ballance appears to be going through sophomore difficulties. But it should be remembered that focusing on his footwork during his current problems only has value as criticism if the same were levelled when he was batting so well. He looks horribly out of nick, not technically inadequate.
Moeen too is under scrutiny, yet his bowling record to date is perfectly adequate by the standards of any spinner England have had since Underwood. England need to decide what to do here, he’s only going to improve if he is given time to do so.
There is plenty of time for these matters to sort themselves out. For now it is a matter of saluting a fine team, who played with verve, skill and daring. A drawn series is the very least they deserved, because in truth barring a couple of days at the end of the first Test, they outplayed England. And above all else, they were a privilege to watch. If only we had that third and deciding Test to look forward to next week.
Being Outside Cricket 
Another balanced assessment of the series. Bravo.
Got to keep plugging away with Moeen. Let’s hope Ajmal can give him a few pointers at Worcs.
Ballance needs time in the middle to play through this slump. Even if it means heading to the Yorks second XI for middle time.
Goodness knows what to do with Bell. Something is not right. That dismissal was the funniest of all Bellesque dismissals. Scoring loads for Warks will prove nothing. This might be Baylis’s first key task as coach.
LikeLike
Great summary although I suspect the ECB are damned pleased this was just a two match series now.
Also a thought re Cook/his captaincy.
Can’t he relinquish the captaincy now he’s back on form?
i.e. we no longer have to maintain the ridiculous facade of TINA now he’s actually scoring again and, in one swoop, we can allow whoever isn’t Tina a go and also have a highly motivated middle order batsman available to play if our not-so-solid “solid” middle order has challenges in the Ashes.
It might could also start to bridge the division amongst Eng supporters/trigger some honesty amongst MSM – a detente if you like in which everyone feels an invested interest – as nobody can seriously say he is captain material but everyone wants a in-form Cook in the team.
If only Strauss, could have the foresight to see past his massive trust issue/personal ego (delete as you feel appropriate) for the good of the team I think this would be a great shout and one Cook could be persuaded of given there’s every indication he’s going to give it up after the ashes series anyway.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Boult took 13 wickets in the series. Not 17.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oops! Corrected – ta.
LikeLike
And the first two Tests that were excluded from the 5 from 8 series are of course the tame draw and a loss to India. 5 in 12 would be all the Tests since the Ashes whitewash.
LikeLike
And similarly, it would be 5 in 17 if you want to include the Ashes whitewash.
Feel free to remove these comments, when the errors have been fixed from the article.
LikeLike
Why would I want to do that? Corrections are welcome.
LikeLike
Well, it can look rather polluted in the comments when they come almost at the start. And I don’t want my “nitpicking” to distract from what I think is an excellent assessment of the Test, the series, and where England are.
Errors are not strange – to have something like this up just 3 hours after the game concluded takes a real effort, and mistakes are almost inevitable.
LikeLike
Oh I’m annoyed that I made them! But I did and that’s that. I’ve nothing but thanks to you for pointing them out.
LikeLike
All the ‘nitpicking’ isn’t about the numbers, it’s about little problems like we keep losing matches.
People really need to look on the plus side. Cook is scoring runs, and his captaincy is coming on leaps and bounds as evidenced by the fact he’s scoring runs. This is very inexperienced side. Gary Ballance. This is a very inexperienced side. If you ignore all the Tests we have lost, then we have won 5 and lost zero since the Ashes. Gary Ballance. Joe Root. Ben Stokes. We won at Lord’s. This is a very inexperienced side. The dressing room is together. We can win the Ashes. We are comfortable at home (Cook actually said this). This is a very inexperienced side. Build for 2019.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The forthcoming ODI series could be an absolute massacre.
LikeLike
I’m just praying for more centuries from KP. I think if that happens the pressure from the public will be such that Strauss will have no choice but do reverse ferret and select him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Agree. Alas the noise is that he’s playing his last FC match for Surrey due to his 20/20 commitments ….who knows perhaps blogs like this one may change his mind.
LikeLike
It is tough examining Moreen Ali’s record. He is one of Wisden’s five Cricketers of the Year. Everyone likes him, including me. Everyone wants him to succeed. He is not an automaton. He has a personality folk can relate to and he is a role model we can admire.
After the series against the West Indies, Scyld Berry manoeuvred him towards a group of great all rounders because his batting average was higher than his bowling average. And this has since driven the narrative in the press and broadcast media.
At the time, his batting/bowling average was 29.33/29.55. Now it is 28.50/32.60.
Moeen’s bowling average has been higher than his batting average in every series he has played. Take out of the equation his performance in last year’s series against India, and Moeen’s bowling average is more than 82. While this kind of quick analysis is capable (perhaps rightly) of being condemned by Dave Tickner as #RootMaths, there is a legitimate question here: was the performance against India exceptional by achievement or exceptional by being a one-off? Moeen cannot be England’s spin option if he is effective only in England and only in mid-summer.
I do not see the Australians being as accommodating towards Moeen as the Indians were, and if they target him, as they will, then as sure as eggs is eggs, Cook will lose all trust in his services.
Moeen is currently struggling to justify his place in the team as a batter, bowler or all rounder, and if the retort is “there is no better candidate” then this is a serious fault line in the balance of the team. I am raising this as a discussion point rather than as a call for him to be dropped. What do you guys think?
.
LikeLike
In short, I have always thought he was massively overpraised by people understandably desperate to talk up every success in 2014. He and Ballance were very promising, but nothing more, yet they seem to gave been bracketed with Root, who clearly is the real deal. I seriously feared for Moeen with the 2015 schedule and – sadly – expect Australia to be brutal and merciless with him.
LikeLike
And on a broader point, there is still an astonishing unwillingness among many of the same people to admit exactly how atrocious India were at the end of that series. It was like a walkover in tennis. Strauss calling that India team “incredibly strong” was probably more ignorant and insulting than most of Downton’s utterances. I’m afraid I think #Rootmaths is fully justified in the case of the latter part of that series, until inexperienced players prove otherwise.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My only issue with how Moeen is assessed in the basis on which people do so. We were a bit spoiled by having Swann, and I’m worried that he is being judged on the comparison to him – just as Australia have spent years viewing every spinner through the prism of Shane Warne.
Swann was the best we have had in 40 years. If you look at all other English spinners in the intervening time, they’ve averaged at least 35, and often above 40. If Moeen is considered on the basis of those, then that’s fine. I just fear he’ll get dumped because he doesn’t do as well as Swann – and remember that Swann averaged 40 against Australia too.
LikeLike
As far as I’m concerned it isn’t a matter of whether Moeen is as good as Swann – the problem is whether he’s good enough for International Test Cricket.
He had a good time against India last year, but ever since then the reports I’ve heard have been mixed. Is his performance currently up to snuff? Would England be better served by replacing him with a specialist batsman or bowler, should there be no decent all-rounders ready to take over if Moeen was dropped?
Forget Swann’s record. Just look at how Moeen fits in the current team line-up, and who might be available to replace him. If his performance is still “good enough” while being worse than Swann, let him stay. Who knows, he might get better.
LikeLike
Tregaskis, I agree with your overall point but I don’t see how you’ve got the figure of 82. Ali’s Test bowling average excluding India is 45.6.
He may struggle in the Ashes (Australia’s middle order is packed with right-handers who play spin well) but the series that may be even worse is Pakistan in the UAE. Check out what they did to Nathan Lyon!
Mark Craig had a tough time in the first two Tests in UAE – but came back to take 10wm and help win the 3rd Test. All the BTL blow-hards who were writing Craig off after one poor Test at Lord’s should have looked at that and realised he’s a good cricketer.
LikeLike
Simon
Schoolboy error! You are right. The generality of my point is really whether his figures against India represented a promise of future performance or a false dawn.
I simply do not know. And his efforts across four series are possibly too small a sample to establish his potential.
I’d feel better if I thought his captain had a better understanding how to deploy his spin options.
LikeLike
what’s Moreen Ali got to do with this – she hates cricket ?:0)
LikeLike
I wouldn’t have Moeen in the side right now. I don’t see how he justifies a spot as a batsman or bowler. He could bat 6, but Stokes is ahead of him.
LikeLike
I haven’t written a piece on here since the Saturday of the 1st test match when Simon pointed out a story that Strauss and the ECB had consulted the sponsors about what they were doing while leaving the paying fans in the dark. This was too much for me. I had had enough. And the sight of of the smug, arrogant Mike Selvey on CWOTV was the final straw. This is what it must be like living in a totalitarian society. If the ECB were a country it would resemble North Korea.
I walked away. I realised the people who run English cricket are not going to change, Strauss is the no change, but illusion of change candidate. He has been hand picked to pretend there will be change, but making sure all the arse wipes stay in position.
A day later England managed to turn round a game they had been out played in for the first 3 days, and it has to be said with the help of some very one sided umpiring decisions. What followed was almost comical. A state sponsored euphoria of utter shite. We even had a Pillock in the Murdoch media making bizarre comparisons with terrorism. And how terrorism will never win as long a Alastair Cook leads England ………..or something. This is insanity of a level you would expect from a county on its last legs.
Fast forward a week, and all the yellow journalism of the previous few days went up in smoke. The so called Renaissance of English cricket lasted one match. Yes, that’s right, ONE MATCH!! Anyone who was paying attention , and not falling for the giant Cook circle jerk would not have been surprised. Mike (3 test wicket) Selvey told us all to go and kick our cats. I don’t have a cat ( I’m a dog person) but I would not dream of kicking my dog. I have more respect for my dog’s intelligence and integrity than Mike (sack of shit ) Selvey. Perhaps he will now go and kick his cat. I feel for his cat, not having an owner of integrity or decency. (Funny how bully’s always pick on animals unable to defend themselves.) Why don’t you go down to London Zoo Mike, and kick a lion or a tiger? They are cats. I’m sure millions would pay their hard earned to watch that event. It would certainly be more entertaining than watching a Cook innings.
You see while Selvey and Hughes, and all the other fake cricket writers were jerking off to Cooks so called landmark, (cough, cough, his biggest competitor having been nobbled by his mates at the ECB) England were being outplayed again. And so another series captained by doofus ends without a victory. Nothing will change because it’s all about captain doofus. The result is immaterial. The only thing of importance is the landmarks of captain doofus. So forget the result you plebs,and hand over your money and throw your hats in the air, and cheer for the Emperor’s new cloths.
LikeLiked by 7 people
Good to see you back Mark – and off your long run!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, just when I am feeling all gooey over the Kiwis performance Mark goes and puts the boot into England for us. Love it. F**k you ECB, f**k you media. Eat this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love this, thanks Mark.
LikeLike
I got the feeling that by the 2nd half of this match, New Zealand had finally warmed up. Thus if there had been a deciding match, we’d have been comprehensively and utterly dumped upon by them.
Cook and Strauss are very, very lucky men.
LikeLike
“they only batted 163 overs in the match, against England’s 200 – yet winning by the huge margin of 199 runs”
Blimey.
“they do so while playing the game in such an excellent spirit”
Yes – NZ have proven that all this mental disintegration stuff is unnecessary. I wish Aust would stop it. Although, at least they only do it to the opposition and not their own players, unlike some teams I could mention… Though fair’s fair, England responded to it much more intelligently than the Aussies did in the WC or will do in the future. I’d praise the captain for it, but I think he has enough trouble getting his own team to listen to him to even think about sledging the opposition. And I’ll never forgive him for screaming at Angelo M after the mankad.
Wood looks like a test bowler. Stokes will be a handful in the Ashes for the Aussies, but only if he doesn’t get sucked into sledging matches with them.
The test ranking system is a PR stunt and nothing else. It’s probably even more arbitrary than the D/L system, but at least the latter is a serious attempt at getting a result. The idea of a two test “series” counting for so much in it is absurd. Unless countries play equal tests against each other, the whole idea of ranking them is ridiculous.
And I must also say how much I appreciate the fine work the hosts put into this blog. You’re my first and often only port of call for cricket news apart from the score sheet. The comments here are excellent too — I read them all. I really appreciate having such a sensible forum.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Nice review, sums it up well.
Ha ha Mark love that post very funny. People will be going to their doctors soon and responding to the question ‘what seems to be the problem sir? with ‘MIKE FUCKING SELVEY!’.
On Moeen Ali I feel he has the potential to be a genuinely fine all rounder. That is how he should be treated as an all rounder. He shouldn’t be asked to be the frontline spinner any more than Stokes should be asked to be the opening bowler. England should try putting some trust in him as a batsman. Nobody ever mentions The fact Rashid is a very dangerous lower order batsman. Why not accommodate both of them? The attacking long term option would be to push Root up to 3, bat Moeen at 5 and Rashid at 8. That would give England real variety and options particularly abroad. Both are young with massive potential and sharing the burden who make life easier for both. Just a thought will never happen I know
LikeLike
Like the idea of Moeey and Rashi in the same side. Then again, I want KP back as well. No space in this middle order for any peep!
LikeLike
That’s the funniest post I’ve seen here. ‘MIKE FUCKING SELVEY’. Got me to chuckle in the office.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Henceforth will be known as MFS. A bit like TISJA (The Incredibly Sensitive Jonathan Agnew)…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Selfey is so much better. And not because I made it up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And another thing…….
What is the mater with Dominic Cork? Or as I like to now call him Dominic Dork. Last night on the Verdict I thought he was Cooks dad. Apparently he had no problem with the way England bowled. You see his son, Alastair, has only two bowlers of any experience. (Anderson and Broad. ) The other 2 are not able to bowl Yorkers, because they are too new to the team. Charles Colville pointed out it was somewhat alarming that Professional England bowlers on central contracts, and one with 400 test wickets to his name can’t bowl basic Yorkers, Dork informed us with a straight face that they can’t bowl Yorkers because they don’t have the confidence to bowl them.
Jason Gillespie gave us a better answer on 5 live. “If hitting the top of off stump is good enough for the top six batsman, it should be fine for the other 5.”
Dork then went on to defend his sons teams appalling slip catching with a classic piece of clap trap. You see, it is very difficult to adjust for a fielder from playing at Lords with the slope to playing at Leeds . (I really am not making this shit up) No one bothered to point out the small flaw in Dorks theory. Namely the New Zealanders had absolutely no problem adjusting to the conditions.
How much more of this piss poor defence of Cooks England are we going to have to endure? Dmitri said the other day Sky had not reached channel 9s level of coverage, but I think it has surpassed channel 9 in patriotic stupidity.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is not even patriotic stupidity. It is worse than that. Much worse. What these people have been engaging in, is nothing but jingoistic nonsense, catering to those with goldfish-like memories; because that is apparently the kind of “fan” the ECB desire (“fan” as in irrational fanatic).
A patriot at least would point out the massive holes in the Waitrose XI. The scheduling. The terrible slip catching. The idiotic bowling plans, which seem never to have been altered or updated in the last three years. Criticism should not be be contingent on who the bowling coach is, Mike Selvey. Shocker, I know.
I think in terms of cricketing sense, you’ll find more patriots here, than among Selvey, Simon Hughes, Lovejoy and all others of their ilk. Patriotism is not cheerleading. Patriotism is not denial of obvious wrongs, obvious mistakes. It comes with an admission of fault where mistakes have been made, and real attempts to get at the bottom of things, in order to avoid similar mistakes being made in the future.
England were absolutely hammered, marmalized and humiliated in the last Ashes. And that is probably already a too optimistic assessment on my part. It was that bad, that people would have come up with new words, if the game was properly taken care off, and not hiding behind a Sky paywall.
Reviews have not happened. No one who had real responsibility has been held accountable. A few people have been offered up as scapegoats (Monty, KP, Carberry), while the people who are responsible got off with promotions and a strengthening of their positions (backroom staff for their wonderful medical care, Flower getting a promotion, the idiotic backing Cook got, both in ODIs and as Test captain).
They move from one gaffe to another act of idiocy on a near-weekly basis. They just hope that the ever-dwindling group of people who still retain a semblance of interest in English cricket don’t notice how these gaffes and acts of administrative treason are connected: the problem with Graves’ statements in March and in May was not so much that they were simply duplicitous, lies or outright fabrications, but that people NOTICED that.
I know Warne can be a bit annoying as a commentator. But he also has a cricketing brain, and he pointed out, what was quite obvious for everyone to see in 2014. The media are still in massive denial about some of his most valid criticisms of Cook’s captaincy.
A few days ago, I wrote a post on the England-Sri Lanka Test at Headingley last year. I also expected that Cook would not do as badly as he did then. I think he actually managed to do WORSE. in those sixteen overs on Day 4 in the second Test against New Zealand, than he ever managed against the Mathews – Herath partnership. It was a chance to show everyone that he had learned from his mistakes. Instead, he looked like a confused seal, as the seal hunters came to clobber the living daylight out of England.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I suspect both Sky Sports and Channel 9 have an (unspoken?) agreement with their respective cricket boards that they will act as cheerleaders for the home side rather than engage in a serious discussion of the game. A serious discussion could result in criticism of the home team and that would not be good for business. Just ask Shane Warne.
LikeLike
Robert Falcon Scott.
LikeLike
Maxie makes a good point in his review of the Test:
“”Sympathisers will ascribe this defeat to the team’s inexperience. In a rebuilding and development process, they’ll say, there will always be one step back after two steps forwards. There is some truth in this. But it’s a card easily over-played, especially as the reconstruction has been going on for sixteen months now. Eventually there comes a point when a work in progress must start delivering.”
http://www.thefulltoss.com/england-cricket-blog/england-v-new-zealand-day-five-at-headingley/
LikeLiked by 1 person
What happened to Dominic Cock?
Or to be completely accurate, Dominic Gerald Cock? Or is that Dominic Gerald Dork?
Or just Cooks dad, Gerald Cook? Or Gerald Cock?
LikeLike
I like the twitter hashtag, #cock with… Who would ever employ a corkwit as a pundit ? Even Bob Willis disagreed with every stupid comment he made.
LikeLike
Sorry it should have been #corkwit, spellchecker agony
LikeLike
Your spellcheck knows what its doing 😉
LikeLike
One for the ‘contrast the treatment of Ian Bell for seven low scores compared to the reporting of Alastair Cook during two years of low scores’ file:
“Bell is in the form of his life – if he was leading the life of a third XI tail-ender playing for Chipping Sodbury Sunday Casuals”.
Martin Samuel.
LikeLike
To be fair, when Bell goes through a slump, it is even worse than Cook has ever achieved, at least statistically. His struggles in Asia in 2012 come to mind. Sure he made 1 ton against India in the fourth Test. But that pitch was a deceased graveyard that had been dug up.
The criticisms however are over the top, and could easily have applied to Cook as well, whose horrid run lasted basically 20-odd innings before he started scoring some fifties again, with a lot of luck (no DRS, dropped catches; friendly umpiring).
LikeLike
As has been pointed out in this excellent piece the notion we will not get a deciding test match is ludicrous, and just sums up the state of world cricket. The stitch up at the ICC will make sure we only get big series against teams that are capable of big TV audiences. Once Competitiveness on the field is secondary to competitiveness off the field the whole activity becomes pointless.
I would refer you at this point to the Guardians cricket writer for his view on this topic. Unfortunately he told us last year he has no idea how the ICC works. So that’s ok then.
I have suspected for some time that the elites who run English cricket only care about one particular test match. Namely the Lords test match. It’s part of the summer social scene. Wimbledon finals day, Royal Ascot, and Henley regatta. The authorities like it so much they gerrymandered the system so as to insure two Lords test matches each year. Two occasions for the elites to put on their old school blazers and weird trousers and all drink the sponsors best wine collection. And while they get to jolly it up we get left with a shitty itinerary where the best on field competing sides get 2 test matches while we the paying plebs get a 5 test series against the overrated and under performing India. Better get to used to it, it’s all about the money.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just back from another run at Heathrow Airport. God, I feel like I bloody live there at the moment.
Saw nothing of the last two days, but the blanks are being filled in.
Thanks to Vian for picking up the slack, and making such an impression. I get the feeling he quite enjoys this!
Now, Pringle’s prediction is doing well. I’d be bricking it if I were the Aussies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
While i agree that aspects of the Lords test are not particularly edifying, I think Lords is still regarded as the home of cricket by many cricketers all over the world. If I was a young overseas cricketer, I would like the chance to make my 100 or take 5 wickets at Lords and have my name up on the board in perpetuity alongside all the greats of the game. So that could be another reason for the 2 tests there.
LikeLike
No Marge. It’s money. The rest is a fig leaf.
LikeLike
A bit late but none the less sincere, a well played to New Zealand… I was made to live like an English cricket fan, due to travelling and had to follow this stuff on OBO thingies.. how the hell English fans put up with that shit, I do not know. .. I felt it put me at a disadvantage, a very filtered view , which , I know, poses no hardship to Eng fans at all, they just carry on, but I couldn’t get the full gist of the flow and ambience of the game but certainly the thrill of it all about NZ was palpable.
I just loved it.. I honestly think NZ would have won the first test if it wasn’t for that bad call in the beginning, win toss and bowl!!.. get out!!… nutso stuff, and like Nasser winning the toss at Brissy and deciding to bowl ( get OUT , Nassser!!) or Harmisons’s first ball at Brissy, you just know it was a big error and no good would come of it..
Also, I had a hard time digesting the truly creepy lusty manlove laid out on Cook and even Bell and others for days, it was nauseating, I had to slip one of those anti nausea wafers under the bottom lip to read some of it. A better cure was don’t read it.
Now to WI v AUS.. not a lot to gain from this series for AU.. this is not disrespectful of WI players in any sense whatsoever, but merely a pragmatic conclusion, allied with the fact that there is lots to lose.. injury etc at a crucial time … a dreadful thought.. ….. but some good cricket coming up.. especially with the meme being promoted about the awfulness of AU sledging etc, no one else does it, it is such an devastating and unfair tactic, its so rude of Austrailians, it is not gentlemanly and all this undiluted bullshit day after day, I expect a lot of it between WI and AU, WI being long time experts …
LikeLiked by 2 people
I can whisper to you, pepp, in the privacy of this highly unprivate internetz , that I am rather in love with most of the NZ side. I thought it would be difficult to displace SL in my heart but I find there is room. They play, y’know, an actual game of cricket and not some kind of sullen inept management training exercise. And several of them are seriously cute. Only a few short ODIs left and they’ll be snatched away for years and years and I’ll be left with the likes of Gary Ballance for the foreseeable… what’s a girl to do?
LikeLiked by 1 person
ah they are so easy to love.. starting from the Black Prince, Stephen Fleming , my adoration of NZ cricket players, and I include Scott Styris in this, no exceptions, has been one of quiet drooling. Even when they lose they do it in style. And they lead such interesting lives off the ovals, too.. Fleming with his horse breeding and racing, Vettori with his terrific café cooking and chemistry, Even Jesse Ryder’s blowouts are stylish and spectacular..
Zeph.. luckily you are not left with the visage of Matt Prior as a sort of English idea of comfort… a terrible thought. . so awful I cannot go on.
LikeLike
Jarrod Kimber on how McCullum got to where he is now:
http://goo.gl/ZBx2w9
LikeLike
Mark you must’ve appreciated Dork’s stunning insight that England would probably go into the Ashes with an off spinner as they’ve had success in the past with Swann and, in his day, Croft and Such. Yes that’s right Croft and Such! We can all remember the halcyon days of Croft or Such destroying the old foe. The Waugh twins and co were bricking it whenever one of those two came on to bowl (as they limped meagrely to yet another resounding series win).
These people are stealing a living. But never mind Cooky is in form and we won a Lords test match. All is right with the world. That’s 5 wins in 8 tests (or however many since we last lost a series because they don’t count). The sun is shining, the birds are singing and I’m back in love with cricket! The Ashes will be closer than people think. I’m predicting at least one of the games will last 5 days.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I know, I could not believe what he was saying. He is pulling shit out of his arse. Off spinners, slip catching, bowling to tail Enders the man talks like he has never played the game in his life.
I bet a young Dominic Dork running up and watching slip catch after slip catch put down would stand there mid pitch and say…..” Don’t worry lads, I fully understand how it’s difficult to catch at Leeds when you have come straight from Lords.” Yea right!!
he’s getting money for old rope. They might as well get a drunk off the street and let him talk about stuff.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Croft and Such????
Ah, I think I remember watching those guys, but it’s all a bit vague. Some kind of bowlers or something weren’t they? Seamers, I think….
And the idea that the English slips catchers were put off by the absense of the Lord’s slope at Headingly…. Holy heck.
LikeLike
To be fair, Such had two five wicket hauls against Australia.
LikeLiked by 1 person
After the sky special on Whatsisname Holding, Gower was looking visibly shaken!
LikeLike
Flicked over to the verdict whilst eating my dinner just as Dork delivered that absurd statement. Dinner was spat out immediately over the coffee table. Cheers Dork
LikeLike
Thanks LCL and TLG for this haven of sanity in the increasingly lunatic cricket world. So many of the commenters on the blog express with passion what I feel and far more succinctly too.
I am becoming increasingly concerned about Ian Bell’s wellbeing, and the look on his face when he was dismissed in the second innings reminded me of Jonathan Trott. I just hope that he is not going down that path, and is getting whatever help he needs.
The other thing that concerns me, as it does others on the blog, is the coverage from MSM. Two things have made me feel particularly billious, inadequate, and angry involve the BBC. Firstly, the edict from the highest echelons that (it would appear) no broadcaster must ever, EVER, mention or even hint at he-who-must-not-be-mentioned. As was posted by a commenter (on here, TFT or Twitter – can’t remember) when Sir Geoffrey suggested that he knew of a person who could help the middle order, he was swiftly silenced by Alison Mitchell. A minute or so later, he said “I was only teasing”. I seem to remember Agnew doing something similar during the first test. I think that Sir Geoffrey is finding it increasingly frustrating being on TMS.
Secondly, I agree with so many of the comments about Alastair Cook’s batting form and captaincy ability, but for me, as for so many others, it is the sycophantic, fawning reporting that angers me. On the BBC Sport site, cricket – in the features and analysis section there is an article entitled “Alastair Cook: Choir boy, golden boy, tractor boy”. That headline did it for me.
I swear that if it were not for the fact that I am in my 71st year on this planet, I would emigrate to NZ – All Blacks in the winter, and Black Caps in the summer. Sporting paradise.
Rant over !
LikeLiked by 1 person
One for you, and indeed anyone whose memory goes back to November 1990: I would not rule out Ian Bell doing a Geoffrey Howe on this lot.
The parallels have been there for a while. Not just the VC issue; not just losing Trott; not just being overlooked for no.3 (again in favour of Root) when he went public* about his willingness to bat there after Trott’s departure in 13/14; not just because he clearly batted better over a long period *with* KP in the side; not just the shunting around and even being dropped from the ODI side to accommodate his f***ing useless captain in 2014; not just being “urged to find form” by that same man, one who went two years without a hundred and also averaged below 30 over that two year period.
All of it, put together. Zephirine said something similar BTL on the Guardian: if I were Ian Bell I’d be close to blowing.
* he did, although many seem to have forgotten:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/25166933
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/cricket/article-2515978/Ashes-2013-14-Ian-Bell-like-bat-No-3-knows-decision-his.html
http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2013/nov/30/bell-happy-to-bat-three
LikeLiked by 3 people
all so true – thanks for the digging and the obvious, so ignored by the oblivious MSM
LikeLike
I’d add Ian Chappell saying repeatedly in 13/14 that Bell is an obvious, classical number 3.
LikeLike
We had such a row about the no.3 thing BTL at the time. It was soon overtaken by other matters, of course, but some of us were like the proverbial dog with a bone. TPE was big on the confidence effect and Bell having more than earned the right to pull rank through his performances in the home summer. For my part I could not believe that this huge backroom staff and dozens of journalists were apparently unaware of what happened the last time Trott was unavailable. Bell went to #3 and scored 159 and 235. Not only that, he’d batted an entire Ashes series at #3 in 2006/07, under similarly onerous circumstances. You could find all of that in under two minutes on cricinfo. I mean, FFS, the ignorance was ridiculous.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for that Arron. “Belly” will be whistling and looking out of the window soon I suspect !
LikeLike
My concern is Broad. He needs speaking to. In fact, someone needed to have a word with him five years ago.
Stuart Broad is not a great bowler; he is, however, a bowler of great spells. For a large part of his career, his inconsistency was largely absorbed and protected because he was lucky enough to be in a side with two very good bowlers in Swann and Anderson. Before Finn was ruined, he often found himself surrounded by three very good bowlers.
Broad’s brutal spells have nearly always come with his bowling a good length and at the stumps or 4th stump. But somehow, in his role, he developed additional ideas about what he should be and how he should take his wickets, sometimes an enforcer, sometimes a experimenter of leftfield plans, a bowler of the cross seam delivery, etc. etc. All these ideas have validity when plan A isn’t working or they are can be entertained if every other bowler is sticking with Plan A but they are not to be entertained before Plan A has been exhausted or if your surrounding bowling stocks aren’t good enough to stick with Plan A.
With the bowling stocks much lower than they were, and the side no longer capable of drying up runs like they used to, Broad, as one of the two senior bowlers in the side, has to accept that it is his responsibility to bowl like a senior opening bowler. And to bowl in the manner that brought him his most successful results. And if that style of bowling doesn’t bring immediate results, be mature and confident enough to understand that the results will still come if you stick to the plan.
The biggest problem in all of this, is that somewhere along the line, fuelled by his own hubris, Broad has seemingly come to believe that his indulgence has become his god given right and justified modus operandi and no-one, including his own captain, will tell him otherwise. I think he needs dropping on attitude alone or Baylis hopefully has exceedingly harsh words with him. It’s not just in the team’s interest, but his own, that the leftfield stuff becomes the exception rather than the rule and that his captain, or someone on the field, is able to curb to flawed instinct to go there should plan A be met with the slightest adversity.
It’s time he grew up.
LikeLiked by 1 person
What’s the betting Broad’ll be on TMS or Sky in ten years’ time, holding forth about bowling plans….
LikeLiked by 2 people
A thousand recommends for this.
Someone (it may have been you?) made the point in an OBO email that if Broad is your 3rd best bowler (e.g. after Anderson and Swann) his ability to produce devastating spells makes up for the periods in between. But once he’s no. 2, then while the good spells will win you matches, the bad ones will lose you them…
I also feel it’s worth remembering that in the “Triumph Down Under TM” Broad got injured early on and Tremlett was the one who intimidated the Aussie batting lineup.
I bring this up because the most fatal problem in selection of England’s bowling has been a reliance on bowlers (Anderson, Broad, Jordan, Woakes) who are all at their best in the same kind of conditions. And when conditions change we then suddenly become completely toothless.
I’ve felt for a long time that someone needs to say to Broad that if he can’t bowl yorkers then unless he suddenly becomes a better swinger than Jimmy (unlikely) his place is very vulnerable.
If Wood had had a proper outing in the Caribbean then I’d be advocating him for 2nd strike bowler already, just to create variety – because if the sun comes out for the Ashes, both Jimmy and Broad will look less fearsome.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Like his equally ignorant and obnoxious father bland, he’ll ever be unable to comprehend or understand… Yet it still shows up even further the lack of captaincy and management… nice cute smile tho’….
LikeLike
Bloody hell:
You have to read the responses.
LikeLike
Well if he doesn’t think Blatters a big story it explains why he won’t call to account the people who run English cricket. They are small fry compared to international football.
They should all be happy today that Blatter is blacking out another poor England cricket story.
Cook is like the old Napolean adage ” give me a lucky general, over a good general.”
LikeLiked by 2 people
posted this earlier, partially in jest…
LikeLike
Bizarre
LikeLike
And then we have the return of one of LCL’s favourites:
LikeLike
Mega lolz.
LikeLike
the ECB cnuts now using kids and KP to make them seem popular….ffs
LikeLike
Looks like they were using the Oval and got the players that Surrey gave them… no doubt they would have loved to leave out even this single sentence from their report:
Inevitably, Kevin Pietersen caused the most excitement of all
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can just imagine the discussion at HQ… if we don’t mention ‘Him’ we’ll get slagged off from the ‘Billys’, butt if we do, we’ll get slagged off from Strauss/MSM… one line then, one line only… pathetic
LikeLike
nevermind… our middle order is set in stone….
LikeLike
I’m just objective, I am, really:
LikeLike
Is he the man to bat out for a bore draw? No. I’ll say that. But I’ve heard this tedious nonsense before. It’s rubbish to use against him. Like asking a containing spinner “how many games did you win on a green flyer?”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well definitely The Oval in 2005 for a start..
LikeLike
It didn’t count but he gave us it. I’m really interested in the criteria for saving a game because if KP didn’t technically save Oval 2005, Colly never saved Cardiff 2009.
LikeLike
That “you can’t save a game in the third innings” – do you honestly think Objective Neil would even try and apply such strict criteria to Brisbane 2010? What of, say, Gary Kirsten at Durban in 1999? Or, errrr….
http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/current/match/667653.html
I’m embarrassed for him.
LikeLike
The thread gets worse doesn’t it? His neutrality showing all over the place. He had a point. But this got silly quickly.
LikeLike
I think the criteria is, if KP did it then it didn’t count.
LikeLike
Under his criteria one of the most momentous rearguard actions that turned a series wasn’t a saved game. Old Trafford 1998. Tell Croft,Fraser, Stewart and Atherton that wasn’t a save.
LikeLike
Pardon my ignorance, but who is this moron?
LikeLike
He’s not a moron. I’m in no doubt of that. See Arron post earlier for the twitter link. His main problem with us and TFT is that he sees us as unremittingly negative.
LikeLike
“Anti-England” was the description used.
Because criticism is not permitted.
LikeLike
Since 1980, Kevin Pietersen is 14th on the list for England in combined 3rd and 4th innings averages. Not superb at 38.38, but certainly ahead of Straus (36.20), Trescothick (35.33) Hussain (35.07), Collingwood (34.77), Bell (34.00), Ramps (21.07), Downton (21.06), or Chris Broad (19.11).
Never mind the effect that the presence of Kevin Pietersen had on teams having to set a target. Against a team of plodders, a RRR of 3.2 is fairly safe. With Kevin Pietersen in the team, teams will want to set a higher RRR, and thus his presence naturally REDUCED the number of balls that England would have to survive to save a Test. And that is before he even came out to bat.
LikeLike
Is Neil Harris Dominic Dorks brother? Why do they always create the wrong frame? If the middle order had performed in the first innings at 200/1 they would not have found themselves having to bat the last day to save the game.
The hatred of KP and the love affair with Cook is destroying English cricket, and making fools of the people who cover the sport for a living.
LikeLike
Glad I was brought into the discussion 🙂
Let me make things clear, I have no hatred of KP, 3 years ago there was no bigger fan. But I am just very tired of the picture that is painted by Piers Morgan and all the sycophants.
I wanted a genuine discussion as to whether he was the man for Tuesday’s situation, I didn’t believe he was but I was inviting people to prove me wrong.
I should have known it was going to get silly, very quickly.
2 blogs I wrote last year on KP ..
http://njhcricket.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/kp-why.html
http://njhcricket.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/why-couldnt-we-get-along.html
I couldn’t have him back after the book by the way.
LikeLike
Ignore Piers Morgan. I do on most things. He’s a professional rabble rouser who is great at getting a reaction. I don’t see many sycophants when it comes to him, or are you calling people who agree with his views on the sacking of KP and subsequent treatment, sycophants? I speak for myself, always have, and always will. If Morgan makes a good point, then I’ll agree.
As for the saving the test match stuff, I really don’t get the point. You don’t pick players to save games, you pick them to win them. The concern isn’t so much would KP have saved the game, more aren’t you a teeny-weeny bit concerned about our fragility in the middle order that isn’t just confined to the odd test.
Oh, and the book. A lovely thing to hang on to. I’m reading Boycott’s book (when Steve James’s The Plan has driven me to tears) about touring Down Under, and they had him back. According to those who tell us to pipe down, the book the book the book. Well he got the sack the sack the sack and no-one still has told us defintively why. I think I’d have the hump about that too.
LikeLike
According to Scyld Berry, “As captain [Cook] urgently needs a head coach who can make his seamers stick to the plan.”
Ummmm…
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/england/11648000/How-England-players-rated-against-New-Zealand-in-pictures.html?frame=3327589
LikeLike
Interesting take on Root, though, which, if even remotely true, suggests that he should be nowhere near the captaincy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Once again “If a captain needs off-field guidance then the team needs a new captain”
What’s astonishing is that this simplest and most obvious of cricketing points is ignored by those who overcomplicate it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve spent the past few hours in tweet convo with outsiders (a few, with mixed idylls or myopic drills) and insiders (Etheridge mainly – thanks John!, Brenkley (briefly, nowt to say) Dobell (too busy groping Melissa) – so frustrating that it can’t be accepted that captaincy/on-field management/a planB/Cseems so irrelevant!
LikeLike
that was poorly written… I must be catching the MSM mode…
may I also mention that my Q for #PoliteEnquiries was used, and essentially ignored by Dobell, as he proved my point within ten seconds then ‘moved on’…
LikeLike
George Dobell can be very, very good but he has a tendency to over-rate England (and under-rate Australia.) I think eventually he will take the lefthand path and be lost to the darkside.
Tonights game in the Windies is very important for Australia as they were hopeless in the UAE and not that impressive against India. I wondered if the life-less drop-in pitches were to blame for the fast bowling looking a bit toothless against India but Robert Craddock has an alternative explanation. He argues that the team, especially the bowlers, are taking much longer to get over the death of Phil Hughes than people realise. The bowlers are still reluctant to bowl short in the nets and they may be off their game a bit in the middle as well. Not sure that I completely believe it (it wouldn’t explain their performance in the UAE) but it is an intesting story.
LikeLike
To be fair to Dobell, we def. under-rate England.
Cook’s done a lot better than we all predicted, to be fair. Broad isn’t as bad as he’s made out to be (nor is he as good as he thinks he is)
1:1 against NZ is not bad. Even at home. I expected 0:2
LikeLiked by 1 person
West Indies vs. Australia series just about to start in Roseau. Ramdin won toss and opted to bat on a dry pitch expected to spin (Clarke said he’d have batted but hoped it might swing). Weather forecast is good.
WI have two changes from beating England – Bishoo in for Permaul and Dowrich for Chanderpaul. Rogers is out for Australia after being concussed in the nets so Shaun Marsh is opening and they haven’t selected Fawad Ahmed which given the pitch doesn’t show much confidence in him. Voges gets his expected debut. Steve Smith expected to bat at No.3.
Plenty of points of interest in this two-match series. Can West Indies sustain the improvement they showed in Bridgetown? Can Australia adjust to slow, turning pitches? The last two matches at the venue produced results.
LikeLike
Aus not having too many problems so far. Shai Hope looks like a talent, mind.
I’m torn. I want the Windies to win as I want to see a strong Windies. And who wants to see the Aussies win? I mean, win /anything/. But if the Windies win we’ll never hear the bloody end of it. About how well Cook and his inexperienced side did against the might of a Windies side the likes of which Allan Border never faced.
LikeLike
I cursed him. 😦
LikeLike
Ah but if the Windies win and the Aussies thrash us…….hubris on a silver platter.
LikeLike
87/5 after 30 overs. West Indies opted to bat. Hazlewood picking 3, Lyon and Johnson one each. Dowrich, who effectively replaced Shiv departed for just 15.
I guess the ECB-acolytes will now be hoping for overconfidence from the Aussies?
LikeLike
and Samuels goes next over. 91/6.
LikeLike
Ramdin and Holder made a quick 19, and a “slow” 21 (from 42 balls). 133/8, and Australia may well be batting before tea.
LikeLike
148 all out. Tea is taken now, and the Aussies will have 34 overs to close.
LikeLike
By the way, off topic but Mark Waugh was 50 yesterday.
How time flies…
LikeLike
Wonder how old Steve is….
LikeLike
Older. It isn’t important as I like the fine strokemakers like Mark lol
LikeLike
One point worth making (unless someone else has made it above already): there is now a general acceptance that the England test side just aren’t that good a team, or are ‘developing’ if you prefer a euphemism. For a while after KP’s dismissal there was a bullish insistence from the ECB apologist crowd that he wouldn’t be missed, that his form was tailing off anyway, that the team was progressing naturally etc etc and that the 5-0 Ashes whitewash was just an unfortunate perfect storm that the side would soon recover from.
Now, we can take a 1-1 draw against NZ as an overperformance from England if anything, given the respective quality of the two sides on paper.
Of course, teams ebb and flow but the point needs making (because sure as hell almost no one in the MSM will be making it): this England team is mediocre not because of the natural order of things, but because of specific decisions made by the ECB – not just over KP but over our ludicrous fixture schedule which played its part in forcing a number of early retirements, over the decision to ‘invest in’ a bad captain because TINA (btw, what happened to the argument that Cook would get better as a captain in the field when his batting form recovered? This test just gone he was as poor as ever), over the decision to appoint a coach for political reasons and over our appalling strategy for the short forms having a knock on effect on the test team.
LikeLiked by 4 people
This a great point Simon and why I just gave up during the first test match. I was sick of Strauss,and the lies about KP and the bullshit coming from the English cricket establishment.
The media are all reading from the same script. There is is no deviation from the line that England have moved on, have a lot of new young players, and are making progress under a captain who is improving his captaincy. They were all drooling over Stokes after Lords, but they were the ones who threw him out after the Ashes. Now they want to throw out Bell.
The constant covering for Cook is now just amusing. It used to annoy me, but I just laugh at the idiocy of all these ex players pissing away their reputations by claiming that Cook is genius.
This team seems unable to bowl at the tail, they can’t catch slip chances, their middle order folds like a cheap deckchair,and yet we are told to believe that the Emperors new cloths are of a high quality. I have more fun and entertainment just laughing at the ECB, and all their stenograhers now.
If we lose the Ashes, as is likely England will have just wasted 18 months since the last ashes on farce after farce, and propping up a useless captain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Has anyone thought of setting up a @CookGenius twitter account?
LikeLiked by 1 person
First tweet can be “Must remember to tell Broadie not to bowl short as he didn’t hear me last time..!”
LikeLike
Who has claimed that Cook is a genius?
LikeLike
I got bored of asking – but you bring to mind the question: so where is the inquiry that should follow a 0-5 whitewash?
LikeLike
Geez been following the Aussies on cricinfo.
We’re going to get creamed.
😦
LikeLike
Don’t worry – there’s no trust in their dressing room.
LikeLike
Yep, and everyone hates Michael Clarke.
Actually, if they play Shaun Marsh, there’s one cheap wicket for a start.
LikeLike
and they all hate Michael Clarke..(allegedly)
LikeLike
Bloody hell – George Dobell has been tweeting about how slow Mitchell Johnson is and how he wasn’t much cop at the WC.
Somewhen on the West Indies tour the real George Dobell was captured and locked in a cupboard and the one we’re seeing now is some sort of bizarre android programmed with the Selvey chip.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Is that better than calling him “mediocre”?
LikeLike
Johnson was also down on pace against India and was unimpressive in the IPL (for what that’s worth). On the other hand, as George should know, you write Johnson off at your peril.
LikeLike
Johnson didn’t sound very slow in the text commentary…
LikeLike
Johnson’s fastest ball in the WI first innings was 90.6 on Hawk-eye and the point Dobell was making was that Mark Wood was faster (93.8 in the first innings at Lord’s – although their average speeds for the whole innings are absolutely identical). That’s the evidence from the technology.
The evidence of my eyes is saying something different.
LikeLike
There’s also the issue of “fighting the last war” – maybe MJ isn’t the big danger this time around, maybe it’s Starc and Hazlewood… (I haven’t seen enough of them to know, but it would be just like “English cricket” to focus on the wrong threats…)
LikeLike
Starc and Hazlewood are serious business.
LikeLike
I haven’t been paying attention to Aust cricket lately, but I’m a bit exasperated at seeing S Marsh in the team. Maybe someone will correct me, but that guy has had more chances and softer treatment than Alastair Cook, just without the talent of the latter.
The bowling looked pretty good from what I saw of it. But the pitch looks quite difficult to bat on. MJ looked pretty good to me.
To be honest, I’ve had my doubts about Dobell ever since he did a polite inquiries with Colin Croft and spent the whole time talking over him and contradicting him about how to bowl.
LikeLike
Yeah, really not sure why Shaun is getting chance after chance. He averaged 2.83 against India in 2011-2012, and that alone should mean there are plenty of others that are seriously ahead of him. His FC record does not stand out, his Sheffield Shield form was nothing too spectacular either (last season was good, but that was the exception – and the likes of Lynn, Ferguson never seem to be in contention no matter how many runs they make).
He is a notorious bad starter too. His average of 34.81 climbs to 47.87 when he makes at least 1 (the effect of 6 ducks in 22 innings). Can Australia really afford a bad starter at #3? No.
Honestly, there must be at least a dozen batsmen out there who’d be more deserving of a slot. What happened to the Quiney’s, Doolans and all those who only got tough series against South Africa to prove themselves?
LikeLike
Thanks for the info.
Looking at this start from Aus, the batting line up looks very shaky to me. A lot depending on Haddin and the lower order as far as I can see.
LikeLike
Sorry if this is off topic, and delete if I’ve overstepped, but goodness sake, where is cricket’s Andrew Jennings?
This journalism business is easy, you know. You just find some disgraceful, disgustingly corrupt people and you work on it! You have to. That’s what we do. The rest of the media gets far too cozy with them. It’s wrong. Your mother told you what was wrong. You know what’s wrong. Our job is to investigate, acquire evidence.”
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/06/03/how-a-curmudgeonly-old-reporter-exposed-the-fifa-scandal-that-toppled-sepp-blatter/
LikeLike
Australia haven’t found the going easy and are three down at the close with Smith struggling.
See, getting bowled out twice in three days by this team wasn’t bad….. see….. SEE……
[Exits frothing at the mouth].
LikeLike
Voges is the Aussies’ KP.
Except he’s older.
And making his Test debut…
LikeLike
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/06/03/how-a-curmudgeonly-old-reporter-exposed-the-fifa-scandal-that-toppled-sepp-blatter/?postshare=7331433332011755#pq=fT0hQg
This is a wonderful read. I’m not saying the ECB are the same, but the comments about other journalists and how they behaved are striking, as are the comments about stealing the sport.
LikeLike
Great stuff, real newshounding. Perhaps he’d like to take a look at cricket before he retires.
LikeLike
fabulous article – thanks for sharing
LikeLike
I tried to post that! The blog blocked me. Glad it got spotted. Where is cricket’s Andrew Jennings?
LikeLike
Brilliant article.
I just wanted to cut and paste this bit from it…
“He (Jennings) said that most sports reporters wouldn’t touch these subjects for fear of losing access to top officials and athletes, or because it simply took too much time and effort.”
I can just see the Selfies et al troting out that line. They don’t want to loose their inside knowledge. How else would they be able to say “I know but I’m not telling you”
LikeLike
It’s easy to get cynical about sport, what with Fifa being bent, and drugs in athletics and the ECB being…well, you know. But listening to the clip of the commentator on the Leicestershire win makes you realise what it’s really all about: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/32995386
LikeLike
Why do I go BTL and get all wound up…?
http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2015/jun/03/surrey-lancashire-county-championship-match-report#comment-53252566
LikeLike
That thread is like drowning in a tidal wave of bile.
LikeLiked by 1 person
And inadequacy?
LikeLiked by 1 person
And ignorance. Part of the weirdness of the Pietersen story is that people assert with great conviction things that are just factually wrong. And when that’s proved wrong they make something else up. These are the people who once upon a time used to go to the market square and throw things at anyone who was in the stocks.
Well played Alec Stewart, who just firmly and simply states the facts as he knows them. And then states them again. Let’s hope he doesn’t get tired.
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Gobbing off about his meetings with Strauss” is a new one to me, I must confess. Almost impressive in its pig-headed ignorance of circumstances.
LikeLike
why do you tell me you’ve gone BTL so that I go look and get even more wound up?!
LikeLike
Anyone know why JamesSilkDavey has been modded three times on that Pietersen thread?
LikeLike
Now that:
1) Pietersen is buried six feet under with a stake through his heart
2) Cook is making runs so pressure on his place has relented
3) Giles Clarke has gone (sort of)
Some of the press are coming off the leash a little. Take this by Brenkley (not a full fisk):
http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/cricket/england-can-win-the-ashes–and-elvis-presley-will-present-the-urn-10295693.html
“Here are a team who have prevailed in only one of their last five Test series. They have lost two and drawn two and defeated an India side last summer who thought that turning up was competing”.
Bunkers not reading from the ‘five wins in the last eight’ crib sheet there. And hasn’t he heard India were a ‘great side’?
” The two-match series against New Zealand was a measure of their inability to complete the job and their weakness under determined assault with bat and ball”.
That point about how they crumbled when the opposition put them under sustained attack is a crucial one. All England’s decent performances since ‘the difficult winter’ have come when the opposition were playing passively (except Stokes at Lord’s). Attack and England wilt. Remind me how Australia play again……
“If, for instance, England manage to beat New Zealand in the one-day series”.
With a bowling attack of Finn, Plunkett, Jordan, Stokes and Rashid? Some of the NZ scores are going to need weighing rather than counting.
“It seems England will retain those Test players who are out of form – notably Gary Ballance, Ian Bell and Moeen Ali. This is the correct policy for now but it is also perhaps an admission that there is not a long queue for their places”.
So why isn’t the queue at least one player longer? What about your role and your chums in the press box in bringing that about? Silence.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Worth adding that 2 of the most lauded wins from the “five out of eight” came against an opposition who had lost one of their frontline bowlers to injury. As I’ve said countless times, good taking advantage by England, but not a good measure of quality against sides with greater depth.
LikeLike
Two? West Indies lost Taylor for the second Test. India lost Ishant Sharma for 2 Tests. Ishant only played in the first two and the last. So that is actually three out of five.
LikeLike
I was being lazy and didn’t want to go back and check which Tests Ishant played.
Thanks for the info. I’ll add that if Ishant had been fit, the “England comeback” might not have happened and they might even have lost that series…
LikeLike
England’s series’ averages:
http://stats.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/records/averages/batting_bowling_by_team.html?id=9243;team=1;type=series
Isn’t it slightly odd that all the criticism of England’s seam bowling has concentrated on Broad and not on Anderson?
LikeLike
Mike Walters review of where England are includes some discussion of Pietersen and the inadequacy of Cook’s captaincy:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/cricket/englands-cricketers-havent-driven-new-5818469
It shouldn’t be remarkable – but it is.
LikeLike
It’s not for Mike Walters. He’s been consistent on this stuff all the way through. He’s one of very very few who have held this line throughout.
LikeLike
I meant in overall MSM terms of course.
LikeLike
England series averages against NZ:
http://goo.gl/Syai3w
Look at that and explain how Broad has been copping all the flak and Anderson has escaped without barely a mention.
LikeLike
I know you know the answer already. 400th wicket, early breakthroughs with new ball, general “Jimmy” love.
I still remember reading about Sky’s arse-licking in the wake of the draw in Antigua, when he got no. 384.
It’s all very Cook – Jimmy – Arctic summer daylight – Bell when it comes to senior players in the MSM, isn’t it?
LikeLike
Well, to be fair, I’m outside cricket and much more of my inquiry/ire has been directed towards Broad. So it’s not just the MSM.
I think that stats apart, Broad’s bowling is just visibly more variable. From dangerous high 80s with movement, down to medium pace “sit up and hit me” spells… That just generates a lot more frustration. Also the Martin Samuels logic with stats about the 5-for was sort of made to rile me up…
Anderson didn’t pitch it up enough, but it felt like he bowled some good spells without the luck of getting an edge (although I take the point that with the benefit of Hawkeye, they were probably not going to hit the wicket, so actually he was bowling less well than he looked.)
Finally, Anderson gets more slack from me because while I’m not fond of him, he does seem to try hard and he does do the business most of the time when conditions work for him. And I’ve often been attacked BTL on The G for raising the fact of how toothless he can look when the ball isn’t swinging. So maybe that has had an effect.
LikeLike
I am embarrassed to lay down an opinion re Trever Bayliss, but I read that Mirror article and again I am baffled at the process of either everyone being oblivious, or agreeing to lie and spin, that Trevor Bayliss has got that job precisely because no one of any integrity would take it on. Gillespie was a PR spin by the ECB who knew very well that Gill is for the AU coaching position in time and would never consider it, .. Langer ditto, so the only contender, a rather panicked and last minute contender takes on this onerous and inbuilt failure of a job, because Bayliss has nothing to lose .
I see cricket writers all across the English papers, all advising Bayliss what to tell the team, this is unmitigated bullshit because Bayliss will be telling the team exactly what he is told to tell them by Flower and Strauss and no body else at all, ever. this is concrete. Only Bayliss would take this idiocy on. He couldn’t even keep the job of coach of NSW. ( far more compliancy among NSW cricketers) .
LikeLiked by 1 person
Also worth remembering that when ‘the greatest coach of his generation’ was appointed for the second time, Bayliss didn’t get the job then, although he was ‘interviewed’…
LikeLike
Pepper,
So you’re saying Gillespie’s confessed expression of interest in the job was a lie? I’ll take the bloke at his word thanks, rather than trusting some hare-brained conspiracy theory.
As for the panicked and last-minute contender, we’ll see. I think he’s an astute appointment, who’ll do a great job.
LikeLike
Day 2 under way in Dominica.
Steve Smith gone in the first half hour – stumped off a lovely leg-break from Bishoo.
LikeLike
What’s that? Something about if you play a leg spinner on pitches like that you may take some wickets? It’ll never catch on in England, you know…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bishoo is making the selections in the West Indies look even more ridiculous.
LikeLike
And that is Watson gone to Bishoo as well. Yeah, it becomes increasingly obvious why Tredwell had to be preferred over Rashid …
LikeLike
*Dalek voice* He bowls too slowly. He bowls too slowly.
Meanwhile, here’s Davros with an opinion you will doubtless find “interesting”:
LikeLiked by 2 people
Bishoo seems to be mostly bowling in the 50-53 mph zone. Seems reasonably effective. But hey, the wicket column does not matter, when good old prejudice and ignorance might have their say right. After all Mike Selvey was the greatest leggie England ever had, right?
LikeLike
Anyone read this?
https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=GlecCQAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false
Looks interesting…
LikeLiked by 1 person
If England pay attention, something other than bowling short and (eventually) getting Haddin out seems to work.
Bishoo picks up his fourth of the innings, and his third of the day.
126/6. Could be a real thriller now.
LikeLike
http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci-icc/content/story/884193.html
Sick joke of the year. Ravi made it to the Elite Panel.
LikeLike
From Selvey’s latest:
“Steve James’s new book is a delight”.
“I am very much enjoying reading Steve James’s book”.
“It is always fun to read Steve’s work. His previous cricket book (he writes about rugby mainly now) The Plan was a terrific breakdown of how two of his great Zimbabwean friends Duncan Fletcher and Andy Flower took England to the top during their time as head coach. Quite rightly, it won awards. This new book has a nice, light, often discursive touch to it”.
“Steve knows a lot about making hundreds”. (How many in Tests…..?)
“Steve talks about making a pair too”. (First name terms times two just in case you missed this first one).
Has Selvey’s mate Steve James got a book out?
LikeLike
I went to the bookstore, but they could not find the author with the last name Steve. So alas, I could not buy the book.
LikeLike
I just do not believe his response to you, on two counts.
LikeLike
It’s amazing – I make a moderate criticism of Selvey and within an hour I have him telling me I didn’t understand his article and one of his worshipers telling me we’re being whimsical so STFU.
Selvey wrote Cook was the mentally toughest England batsman he’d seen. I mentioned Boycott and Amiss. He tells me I didn’t understand. How has he not seen Boycott and Amiss? FFS he was playing when Amiss got his double ton against Holding and Roberts. I’d rate Edrich and Atherton above Cook as well (Atherton was done in by physical problems and the quality of the opposition when he played).
I won’t even try to argue over there about the mental toughness required to play as an attacking batsman. It didn’t take mental toughness to hit McGrath into the Lord’s pavilion on debut when England were not-many-for-five? It didn’t take mental toughness to play the switch hit? He’d have been pilloried if either of those had gone straight up in the air and been caught.
Serves me right for commenting over there. They want a church of true believers and heretics can **** off.
LikeLiked by 2 people
And the Cook stuff was crowbarred in, as well. If he was going to single out just one batsman from the 138-year history of Test cricket during a review of a book about centuries, you wouldn’t have got long odds against that choice, would you?
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m reading that book by Steve James, yes, still, and it’s absolute twaddle. What makes me giggle is you read the antics of Andrew Flintoff, and yet we get our knickers in a twist over KP.
Selfey’s just trolling, even whimsically, these days. I’m more gutted that Cricket Writers isn’t a podcast, but I suppose it does stop me shouting “Fuck Off” in the middle of a crowded commuter train as another beauty passes his (and others) lips….
LikeLiked by 1 person
There’s a book out by someone, but I’m not sure who?
Perhaps Mike Selvey could come out of his shell and tell us?
LikeLike
It’s for him to know, but he won’t tell…
LikeLike
Selve… flogging a mate’s horse with not a jockey of what’s really going on…
LikeLike
Has anyone observed that there’s been precious little (of any disruptive nature) from KP while these guys can’t stop talking about him? He is now the elephant in the room for the ashes and was the evil villain in the stories a short while ago. But all this while, I haven’t seen him comment on any of these guys. And these are supposed to accuse him of being a mercenary while they use him for selling their useless stories?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Commenting positively on Ravi Bopara’s benefit. Also, a picture of a coffee machine. Coffee! No wonder he had to be axed from the team. He mixed the drinks up at tea.
LikeLike
out of date data, obviously…
LikeLike
Apparently OurBelovedLeader is appearing at RavBop’s benefit… Rav will be given two overs max and bat at 8/9 when the cause is lost…
LikeLike
he couldn’t get his whistling in tune with that of the kettle boiling…
LikeLike
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sundial-Shade-Richards-Genius-Cricket/dp/1785310100/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1433434705&sr=1-1&keywords=Andrew+Murtagh Buy this instead… should be cricket book of the year 2015
LikeLike
Bought it for a mate for his birthday. He’s not told me how good it is at the moment.
LikeLike
So here we are, non-intrusive sponsors…
LikeLike
I wonder if Sheep’s own farm has got a deal with Waitrose yet for freshly slaughtered lambs? (or deer) #justasking
LikeLike
Anyone seen LCL or Legless….. or are we playing here on our own? 🙂
LikeLike
or on my own….spooky…must be an ECBXFile
LikeLike
I may as well ask on here.
I’ll be up on York on holidays the week after next. Are there going to be any pubs that sell nice beer up there showing the New Zealand onedayers, that don’t switch over to the bloody football at the first available opportunity?
LikeLike
Hi Gambrinus, you’re probably long gone but I meant to say before: don’t think there’s any Yorkshire folk on here but try the Guardian CC blog.
http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2015/jun/05/natwest-t20-blast-yorkshire-lancashire-match-report
LikeLike
Looking at the score in Dominica, I noticed Chris Tremlett just tweeted this:
“Ozzies struggling against leg spin. It’s a shame we didn’t give our lad a go in the West Indies when we had the chance..”
He’ll be taking up a lot of space outside cricket. Budge up everyone!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Am I forced to forfeit my membership of the “England Cricket Fans” tribe because I kind of want Adam Voges to get to his century before he runs out of batting partners in the West Indies?
Obviously, there are many other reasons the ECB would be glad to see the back of me, but….
LikeLike
Brilliant from Adam Voges! It’s been like he’s playing on a different pitch to everyone else.
Gutsy too from Lyon and Hazlewood to hang in there with him.
LikeLike
Oldest player ever to score a debut century (overtaking Dave Houghton).
LikeLike
Last four Aussie wickets added 192 between them. The last pair 97 runs – and that was the first 50 partnership of the match.
Johnson takes out Hope, Starc takes out Brathwaitte in consecutive balls. WI left reeling at 21/2, still 149 behind.
LikeLike
Australia in the field have been hugely impressive. It’ll be a major surprise if they don’t wrap this up tomorrow. Some brittleness in their batting is about the only crumb of comfort for England.
Thirty years ago West Indies were beating Australia 3-0 in a five Test tour. West Indies didn’t lose a second innings wicket during the whole series. That might just be my new favourite cricket stat ever.
LikeLike
https://twitter.com/TheCricketGeek/status/606566975486218240
LikeLike
They’d pin it on the door, and they’d get right up for it.
LikeLike
“Cook won Ashes”? FFS. “India away”? FFS2. “Champs T Final”? We didn’t even win that one but never mind, eh?
Still, a nice tacit admission that Cook is a poor captain!
LikeLike
Nice little TINA flip by Big Kev there. Neatly done.
That Cook is still captain of England because, as John seems to indicate, seniority, is just fine and dandy. You’d better have huge respect for Al, because those that don’t get shown the door.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Dmitri,
I guess I’ve back-flipped on Cook in as much as I thought getting rid of him post-Ashes or post-SL was a sensible thing to do – but getting rid of him now would not be.
If Cook had gone either post-Ashes or post-SL, I would have had no complaints. The lack of captaincy-ready alternatives bothered me, and I said so, but at that point my choice would have been Stuart Broad. And with winnable series coming up, it would have been as good a time as any to make the call.
But now? Throwing Root into the inferno of an Ashes series as a captaincy neophyte strikes me as a very poor idea. Some may say there’s nothing to lose, and they may be right. I think there’s plenty to lose if Root’s psyche is scarred by possible heavy defeat. Cook, if nothing else, has proved that he can take a punch and come back to something like his best.
For what it’s worth, with an additional 12 months of information, my choice as heir apparent right now wouldn’t be Root – it would be Buttler. There is a calmness and solidity in his manner that impresses me greatly. But Root is the choice, so the only question now is when that happens.
LikeLike
It’s extremely tough for a wicketkeeper to captain a side, they have too much to do. That’s why none of them do it particularly well. As a keeper you are concentrating on every ball, and it leaves little time to think strategically. You miss things for a start, and also it affects the primary job too much. In general terms you shouldn’t ever go near a wicketkeeper as your captain. Dhoni has done it adequately but that is all, and he is an exception being able to do it even that well.
Talk to most keepers and they’ll say it’s just too much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very good point, TLG – and one that I rather overlooked in my assessment.
Just shows how much we’re all left guessing in this modern era where there seems to be no testing ground for captaincy any more, and virtually all the candidates for the job at test level are coming in cold. That seems like a very obvious flaw in the current structure.
LikeLike