Bilious Inadequates

Which one makes more sense to you?

The last year has been a period of transition and rebuilding in which Peter has nurtured new talent, developed new players and laid the foundations for the new coaching structure to build on.
“This decision has been made as we focus on the future and our need to build the right approach and deliver success over the next five years within a new performance structure.”

or this…

La lasta jaro estis periodo de transiro kaj rekonstruo en kiu Peter nutriĝas nova talento , evoluigis novajn ludantojn kaj fondis por la nova trejnisto strukturo por konstrui sur .
‘ Tiu decido estis farita kiel ni enfokusigi sur la estonteco kaj nia bezono por konstrui la dekstra alproksimiĝo kaj savos sukceson dum la venontaj kvin jaroj ene de nova agado strukturo .

Because it doesn’t make any sense to me. I weep when I see this sort of thing. The implication is that Moores has done a good job developing talent that they needed after the loss of the Ashes and the key players who walked, were injured/ill or just chucked out for reasons not explained, but now it needs to be left to the big boys, like Andrew, who knows best. The only way this could get better is if they re-appoint Andy Flower as coach.

More on all this later. It’s a lovely sunny day by the Shore and we have visitors coming so probably won’t be around much more today.

UPDATE – Vaughan’s piece in the Telegraph, if true, is astonishing –

I had talks with the ECB about the director of cricket job the day after the Grenada Test when the team had won and there was a vibe about England’s Test cricket. It was clear to me that they would not be removing Peter from his job and I felt I could not be the boss of someone I did not rate.

It would have created too much pressure around the team and too much focus would have been on that relationship leading into a huge Ashes series.

There was also the Kevin Pietersen situation. That was always going to be hard to manage. I personally wouldn’t want to rule him out of playing for England again if he scores runs for Surrey and a vacancy opens up in the middle order. If his game is good enough why would you not want to take someone like that to a World Twenty20 next March? But the ECB still seem to be a little bit reluctant to bring him back and I feel that the Pietersen issue is still going to be a talking point through the summer. So it was not the right time for me and I was never offered it anyway.

But then the situation changed. England lost in Barbados and Peter’s job was on the line again. It is a warning of how quickly things can move on in sport.

Where do you start with that? I have not mentioned KP that much recently but this indicates there is still no desire AT ALL for KP, meaning he has been led up the garden path as I thought.  How one match (Barbados) changed everything with a body that talks about “long-term” strategy and building structures. How Moores was staying, then going. In a blink of an eye.

I mean, it’s enough to inspire zealotry in anyone, isn’t it?


122 thoughts on “Esperanto

  1. Mark May 9, 2015 / 4:42 pm

    “laid the foundations for the new coaching structure to build on.”

    They should rename The ECB…. McAlpine. They are always building!! Mind you their plumbers aren’t much good, always leaking.

    Peter mixed up the concrete with a shovel and his bare hands for the foundations, and now the Master Bridge builder will come in and oversee the main structure being erected.

    The ECB is a giant Grift. Oceans of Sky money sloshing around just waiting for one of the good olde boys to get his snout in the trough.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Mark May 9, 2015 / 5:06 pm

        Makes as much sense Dmitri!

        So Downton’s gone, Moores’s gone, both lasted just over a year. Looks like us outsiders were right.

        I look forward to the humble admission from Selvey, Newman, Brenkley, and Agnew in their next print run. What you mean hell will freeze over?

        Liked by 1 person

    • Zephirine May 9, 2015 / 6:14 pm

      Buried at the bottom of that burble is this interesting statement:

      “Sky signalled his departure, and Moores’ fate was all-but confirmed by Nick Knight, a relatively minor TV pundit thought to be being lined up for a role with the one-day squad.”

      Relatively minor and far from discreet, it would seem.


      • SimonH May 9, 2015 / 7:26 pm

        So appointing – or even just thinking of appointing – Nick Knight to any sort of position of responsibility around the England set-up turns into a disaster.

        Who’da thunk it?


      • Mark May 9, 2015 / 7:47 pm

        Michael Calvin. A relatively minor journalist who’s claim to fame is he lives in in the same village as superman.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. escort May 9, 2015 / 5:28 pm

    Do we actually know who is going to open the batting in the next Test?


  3. SimonH May 9, 2015 / 5:30 pm

    This bit from David Hopps raised a smile:

    “It has not taken [Strauss] long to make an impact – an impression heightened by the manner of the ECB announcements. At 1457 on Saturday, the ECB announced his appointment. Eight minutes later, they announced that Peter Moores had been sacked as coach following “private conversations” between Strauss and the new chief executive of the ECB, Tom Harrison. Why, in his playing days, it could take him longer to get off the mark”.

    Not quite so keen on some of the rest of it mind…..


    • LordCanisLupus May 9, 2015 / 5:36 pm

      To save people the aggro, read this. Yet again, barely concealed contempt for some of the cricketing public for merely expressing a view so that others might read. Note the use of the word “zealot”.

      His appointment, nevertheless, now gives England the chance to put 18 months of turmoil behind them and to encourage an atmosphere of trust and common purpose, not just within the team environment but within the country at large. His record as a captain who led England to two Ashes wins and to the top of the Test rankings, his upstanding character, collegiate and contemplative approach, and natural desire to work for the common good rather than individual aggrandisement all suggest he is the right man for the job.

      There are Noises Off all the same, as if to stress the healing process that now faces him. The suspicious, occasionally downright hostile, response from some cricket-loving zealots on social media to news that his appointment was imminent emphasises that England’s cricket public remains more riven than the team. Strauss, like Downton, is regarded as an impediment to the resumption of Pietersen’s England career. That is still not easily forgiven.

      Pietersen’s attempt to force his way back into England’s Ashes plans continues against Leicestershire at the Kia Oval on Sunday, but the appointment of Strauss, rather than other contenders such as Michael Vaughan, who withdrew his interest after he found the job specification not to his tastes, or Alec Stewart, who has been a supportive figure towards Pietersen at Surrey, suggests that his prospects are once again minimal.

      Much will be made of Strauss’ gaff on Sky TV when his description of Pietersen as a “c***” was picked up by a stray microphone. More illuminating as to Strauss’ priorities is this comment in his autobiography. “Focusing so much on personality and celebrity can have the unfortunate effect of encouraging players to separate themselves from their team-mates in order to gain attention, and that can be very difficult and divisive in a team sport.” He will treat any outcry with politely-concealed contempt.

      Oh yes. Oh yes indeed. Don’t agree with the line to take and you, my friends, are zealots. I thought I’d include the last line just to tell you how they really feel about us. Good. It doesn’t match the contempt I have for the ECB. Not one jot.

      A last point. You lot mentioned Pietersen. We didn’t. Not really. I just think that appointing Strauss is leading you know who further up the garden path. Because Strauss effectively slammed the slightly open door shut. I think this is an erroneous thing to do, buy hey, you lot know best. We are the cricketing equivalent of the Tea Party. I never thought I’d see the day where I’m aligned with Sir Geoffrey. That’s what has happened here.


      • metatone May 9, 2015 / 6:17 pm

        I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – this “search” has been as much of a farce as the one that brought us Peter Moores in the first place. History matters – an organisation that repeats mistakes should not be given the benefit of the doubt.

        As for KP, much as I think England have treated him very badly, if you told me that Gillespie was the coach and he had decided that KP wasn’t to be picked on cricketing grounds, I’d wear it – because he (Gillespie) has earned (because I’m a Yorkshire fan) the respect to be believed when he says it.

        I’d extend that to candidates for DoC like Stewart, Moxon, Kirsten, Moody, etc.
        But that isn’t the case here.

        Liked by 1 person

      • metatone May 9, 2015 / 6:20 pm

        I’ll also note that repeatedly unanswered is the question of Strauss’ attitude to players like Cook and Bell who he has played with. If Taylor is playing well and Bell is still in bad form, is it going to look to Taylor like he gets a fair crack at things when Strauss is making decisions?

        Liked by 1 person

      • jomesy May 10, 2015 / 9:49 am

        dimitri a where is this from? I can’t find it. Thanks


      • SimonH May 10, 2015 / 10:01 am

        Jomesy, it is from the David Hopps’ article ‘Born to serve’ on Cricinfo (link in my post above LCL’s).


      • jomesy May 10, 2015 / 10:31 am

        @SimonH – thanks (thought Selvey from the tone)


  4. SimonH May 9, 2015 / 5:54 pm

    Selvey’s taken the afternoon off but stepping in to take up the slack we have –


    • LordCanisLupus May 9, 2015 / 5:57 pm

      Add “vile ignoramuses” to the list of insults being chucked our way. This is great.

      Isn’t it terrible when their friends are treated shabbily, but their enemies aren’t? Whereas we go at them all….


      • paulewart May 9, 2015 / 6:33 pm

        You might consider a new name for the website. So many to choose…..Outside Cricket is increasingly innocuous, an exercise in kite flying.


    • paulewart May 9, 2015 / 6:09 pm

      Is he advocating blaming poor Jonathan Trott again? Or Cook even? He’s a player, after all. What of selection? Interesting that the TINA argument never applies to coaches, directors, players etc.


      • metatone May 9, 2015 / 6:18 pm

        Exactly – blame the players – but then blame the coach for not sacking (or picking) the right players.


      • SimonH May 9, 2015 / 7:30 pm

        Also if you don’t blame the coach for the bad times then don’t praise them for the good times.

        Or am I imagining all that stuff about England’s success being attributable to the godlike genius of Andy Flower?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Arron Wright May 9, 2015 / 9:42 pm

        Simon, that is what really pisses me off. Only today, MS tweeted “Andy Flower won three Ashes series, a World T20 and a series in India”. How often are his historic failures mentioned? Never. Am I allowed to say that one particular player won all of those things AND another Ashes series on top? No.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Mark May 9, 2015 / 7:43 pm

      “Blame the players not the coach”

      I have done Mr Hughes. In particular the captain. You know, your come dine with me mate.

      And you say it ain’t his fault either. The only person who has ever been blamed is KP. And you all claimed if he was removed everything would be fine.

      Liked by 1 person

    • d'Arthez May 9, 2015 / 8:12 pm

      Feel sorry for Peter Moores. He’s been assassinated by a lot of vile ignoramuses and he has copped the blame for some inept cricket.

      — simon hughes (@theanalyst) May 9, 2015

      Since the ignoramuses who appointed him are residing within the ECB, since the ignoramuses who have leaked all and sundry appear to be within the ECB / Sky, that is a rather apt description of the ECB. Right?

      Liked by 1 person

    • Tom May 10, 2015 / 7:07 am

      I’m not on twitter so don’t have the context behind Simon Hughes’ tweet, but the ECB hired and fired Peter Moores, so surely the “vile ignoramuses” comment is targeted at the ECB? I’m sure I’m being simplistic, but taken in isolation, that’s what it implies to me.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. paulewart May 9, 2015 / 5:59 pm

    Favourite trivia question for you all: Who starred in the only Esperanto film? The answer is somehow, wonderfully appropriate and predictable once you know it.


    • metatone May 9, 2015 / 6:18 pm

      William Shatner, wasn’t it?

      Liked by 1 person

    • Zephirine May 9, 2015 / 6:22 pm

      William Shatner was in one, which is kind of wonderful. But I think there have actually been several films in Esperanto.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Timmy May 9, 2015 / 6:32 pm

      Can’t believe they wanted to keep Moores after the second test, I am too glad England lost then.

      Door also pretty such shut on KP. Although, this whole circus was stared by the ECB over the KP sacking and propping up of some mediocre people. In real terms, team England has suffered what can be described as a year of stagnation. No progress has been made all just to see the back of one of England’s best ever.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Pontiac May 9, 2015 / 11:18 pm

        Well, the door is only shut to the extent that the facts of the matter remain ambiguous. If KP is carrying a 70 or 80 average, if ECB Select XI results go poorly in the next few months, they might look like fools. And that’s sorta KP’s game, I think – whether he gets back in the team or not, if he goes well and England XI go poorly, point proven.

        And I still view all this in a Yorkshire vs Others sense, as far as goes ECB internal politics…


    • Clivejw May 9, 2015 / 11:03 pm

      But isn’t it astonishing — or wouldn’t it be astonishing from any normal organization — that the ECB indicated to Vaughan that they weren’t prepared to part with Moores, whose sacking Vaughan saw as his first act if he took the job as DofC, and so Vaughan withdraw his candidature, and then they sacked Moores anyway and appointed Strauss?

      The answer probably lies in what Jomesy said in response to a post of mine on the Guardian:

      I don’t think Barbados made a blind bit of difference…it’s MPV giving a diplomatic “out” to the ECB so he can provide his real thoughts.

      The only difference between him and Strauss as candidates (other than I suspect MPV has far better and [more] original ideas than Strauss) is actually the KP issue. The fact that MPV would have been better for the role and the ECB know this is wholly overridden by the KP issue.

      I hate the ECB – I want to watch the best players, playing the best cricket. These idiots would prefer to cover up there errors until KP can’t wield a bat to the detriment of cricket. They should hang their heads in shame.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. paulewart May 9, 2015 / 6:28 pm

    Chapeau, MetaZeph There may have been more than one, but isn’t there something wonderfully inevitable and right about Shatner’s involvement? I wish he’d sung Common People in Esperanto. It would be so appropriate given the Greek/English ‘romance’ at the heart of the song!


  7. Silk May 9, 2015 / 7:05 pm

    The whole think makes me want to weep, it really does.

    Was it Brenkley or Newman that was crowing, immediately after Downton’s demise that Downton had got ‘most of the big calls right’ and that Moores wasn’t obviously a failure (and this after he’d led us to our worst ever WC performance, which is remarkable given how many WC failures there have been)

    I don’t see Strauss as the man to take us forward, and I still don’t know what Andy Flower does.

    How many people are running English cricket?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. dvyk May 9, 2015 / 7:27 pm

    It all seems fairly straight forward to me. They need a new coaching structure so that the new performance structure can deliver success, and Moores was so good at laying the foundations for it that now is the right time to sack him. Five year plan, five year plan, Gary Ballance Gary Ballance. Any more questions? Good. Over to you Straussy.


    • paulewart May 9, 2015 / 8:34 pm

      Hasn’t Agnew’s ColinGravesColinGravesColinGravesColinGraves superseded GaryBallanceGaryBallanceGaryBallanceGaryBallance? So hard to tell these Leicestershire chinless wonders apart…..


  9. Rohan May 9, 2015 / 7:45 pm

    Cooky, Straussy, Flowery, Harrisony a lovely bunch in charge of English Cricket now. Maybe Straussy will appoint Nicky Knighty as outright coach, not just give him a minor one day role. Hell why not appoint Hughesy, Newmany and Selveyy as advisors and selectors. Perhaps Langery and Gillespiey might get a look in, but they would have more chance if they had a catchy nickname ending in Y, like Mooresy, Broady, Belly or Jimmy.

    Anyway I enjoyed reading this Dmitriy I hope you are enjoying your break and I must add that adding Viany as a contributor to this blog was an inspired choice. Did you pay a headhunting firm to find him or was it his catchy and original nickname ending with a Y that caught your attention.

    Anyway, here’s to Straussy, Cooky, Harrisony, Flowery and soon to be added to the list Gravesy and Knighty…….

    See I could play for team ECB me, I’ve got this nickname thing down pat…….


    • Burly May 11, 2015 / 9:48 am

      “Perhaps Langery and Gillespiey might get a look in, but they would have more chance if they had a catchy nickname ending in Y, like Mooresy, Broady, Belly or Jimmy.”

      Gillespie’s the favourite because of this – he’s “Dizzy”.


  10. SimonH May 9, 2015 / 7:47 pm

    Jarrod Kimber on Twitter worth reading about the claim that England can’t attract top international coaches because of the IPL.

    Basically, it’s bol….. not necessarily 100% accurate.


    • metatone May 10, 2015 / 9:35 am

      Any link – I looked and I can’t see it?


      • metatone May 10, 2015 / 9:39 am

        Oops, found it now. Twitter conversation display is a bit hard to navigate these days.
        I do think there’s an issue with the schedule if you’ve got a family.
        IPL is a nice short burst.

        Credit to Strauss if he is actually going to follow through with splitting up the Test/ODI coaching, because I think that does make it a better job and hence more attractive to the best.
        Of course, if he can’t deal with the issue that right now the best coaches don’t want to work in a situation where their player preferences can be overruled because some idiot in a blazer doesn’t like them, well…

        Liked by 1 person

  11. d'Arthez May 9, 2015 / 7:58 pm

    As I mentioned in a previous response on a previous article, Moores had to deal with many issues that were not of his own making. The supine press. Cook’s constant tantrum throwing. Downton. The rest of the ECB. Not saying that Moores could not have done better, but it would have definitely helped him if the ECB could actually be bothered to act as a professional meritocratic organisation.

    About two years ago, the ECB created a position of Managing Director. No one seems to know what the job would entail. And even on the job, Downton often gave the impression that even he did not know. He took one decision, and in the fourteen subsequent months he stumbled from one disaster to the next.

    The ECB saw this, the results were catastrophic. So they needed to do something. Anything. So they axed Downton. They saw a few things they did not like, a few things they did like, and lo and behold! The position of Director of Cricket was born. Or rather reborn, since Flower apparently was appointed to the position “Director of Cricket” way back in 2009 – and I am going by a report by Pringle from 2009.

    And I am pretty doubtful anyone really knows what this position entails. Other than making a big ritualistic decision. Announced in the press. While Moores was busy coaching an England team in Ireland. Classy.

    What are Strauss’ credentials? Peddling insurances in his post-playing career? Providing bland commentary that made the pitch of the 4th India – England Test of 2012 look like a bunsen? Reacquainting old wrinkled fossils with sexist and misogynistic language when referring to a professional cricketer, a former England captain to boot? And are we really to believe that Strauss is the best qualified person in England / the world for such a position.

    Seriously, the supporters deserve an ECB that is run professionally, ethically, and with the best interest of the game at heart. Can we finally start moving to the 20th century?

    Liked by 1 person

    • SimonH May 9, 2015 / 10:25 pm

      “sexist and misogynistic language”.

      The Observer (supposedly Britain’s left-est Sunday broadsheet newspaper) in a brief, uncredited profile of Strauss describes his words as “a pithy yet cutting assessment of Pietersen”.

      Just when you think it can’t get any worse it does.

      Liked by 1 person

      • paulewart May 10, 2015 / 7:17 am

        I think we can guess who was behind that pearler.


  12. Mark May 9, 2015 / 8:02 pm

    “his upstanding character, collegiate and contemplative approach, and natural desire to work for the common good rather than individual aggrandisement all suggest he is the right man for the job.”

    Yes, yes, yes, but what is the job? Does he coach the players? NO. Does he pick the captain? Er who knows? Does he pick the players? No. Does he work with the counties to unearth new talent? Er don’t know.

    If you’ve got a good coach, and a good captain then they could report direct to Harrison and Graves. Why have another layer of bureaucracy? We do so love men in Blazers. If in doubt, appoint a man in a blazer.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. MM May 9, 2015 / 8:27 pm

    “we focus on the future and our need to build the right approach and deliver success over the next five years within a new performance structure”

    Didn’t They come out with bollux like this when They re-hired Moores?

    Glad he’s gone, but hate the way They’ve done it. And now I live in trepidation as to who becomes coach. Jason… run away!

    What is Graves for, by the way? Seems like all he’s done thus far is mislead KP, and us, over anything like an evolution.

    This change sucks.


  14. geoffboycottsgrandmother May 9, 2015 / 8:52 pm

    “Fears that Strauss would prove too conservative to effect any meaningful change were immediately assuaged by his decision to sack Moores after a dismal World Cup and the recent Test loss to West Indies in Barbados.”

    So reading between the lines fed to Lawrence Booth, Moores has been sacked – not for being useless – but to show that the South African born Straussy isn’t too conservative. Surely the ECB learnt their lessons about trying to create scapegoats last year?

    South African born Straussy’s actual job seems to be to quieten criticism. In some respects his appointment here makes more sense. He’s always been the diplomat and politician, from at least the time he stabbed KP in the back to get the captaincy.

    The England captains are all being brought into line. A few bottles from his wine collection over dinner will buy off Botham and Gower. Stewart’s been silenced by the reminder that Indian bookmakers will be bought up again should he have the temerity to speak out again. Vaughan’s going to be bought inside the tent to stop him pissing out. I now wonder if he was even ever a candidate for DoC in the first place and wasn’t just interviewed to put the line out there that Moores was the ECB’s man so the South African born Straussy could appear decisive and un-conservative by sacking Moores as his first decision. Atherton’s another one who has been earmarked for the “advisory panel” to quieten him down. Even Pietersen has to behave as the carrot of a recall is now being dangled. I wonder how they will try and tame Nasser?

    Meanwhile the journalists who have been leading the criticism of the ECB seem to be the ones who were fed the story of Moores’ sacking (who were the three who were fed this story?). Is this is all part of their training not to bite the hand that feeds them? Even the tame ones like Nick Knightmare are having jobs dangled in front of them with the incredulous story that a pinch-hitter with a strike-rate of 71.52 and no coaching experience (and going from his commentary no original thoughts or insights) may be added to the one-day coaching staff.

    Seems like the job(s) (for the boys)’s a good’un.

    Liked by 1 person

    • SimonH May 9, 2015 / 9:16 pm

      “Who were the three who were fed this story?”

      Ali Martin, Nick Hoult and Lawrence Booth all broke the story very close together. Curiously – or not – Cricinfo, the BBC and Sky apparently didn’t carry it at all yesterday.

      I’m not sure I’d read too much into this because the story came out during the match against Ireland and many of our familiar faces from the press pack weren’t there because of its proximity to the West Indies’ tour.

      Liked by 1 person

      • geoffboycottsgrandmother May 9, 2015 / 9:37 pm

        It may just be a coincidence that three of their fiercest critics all break the story at the same time but then the timing of the whole story coming out was somewhat strange.


      • paulewart May 10, 2015 / 7:19 am

        Selvey fed Martin the story.


    • Arron Wright May 9, 2015 / 9:59 pm

      Stop saying Strauss was born in SA. He’s as English as mustard (Hughes). Englishness is what we need.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ali Martin May 10, 2015 / 1:08 pm

        Not on a silver platter and required a morning of draining the phone battery before it could be written with that certainty

        Liked by 1 person

      • SimonH May 10, 2015 / 1:28 pm

        Thanks for taking the time out to comment here Ali.

        Can you confirm that yesterday’s announcement was by press release only and that there was no press conference? If so, why do you think there wasn’t a press conference? It seems a strange way to usher in a brave new dawn!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ali Martin May 10, 2015 / 2:06 pm

        Not sure I’ve got the hang of replying on here.

        In answer to question about how it was announced – Just two press releases, Moores 35 mins after Strauss. The plan (and their big mistake) was for it to all be done early next week. Events on Friday meant it all had to be brought forward. Strauss will still do press conference but not until Tuesday, time tbc

        Liked by 1 person

      • thebogfather May 10, 2015 / 2:20 pm

        @Ali Martin – thanks for your thoughts here, still leaves this ECB confusion, but are we surprised? i think not… now for the important decisions – firstly Cook out as captain, secondly (as we have an interim coach v NZ) – what, despite Mike Selvey saying other wise in response to @BilyUsInAdEq on twitter earlier, is the position and power of Flower in all this? (Selve said he hadn’t seen him in near a year and proposed that Flower was still only in charge at Laughborough and Lions???
        Surely the new coach cannot accept a position where there is so much going on around the ECB/team? This leads to the ECB appointing another ‘safe’ coach…


      • SimonH May 10, 2015 / 3:05 pm

        Thanks again Ali. Are you any clearer who has the final power to appoint the coach and the captain? It seems somewhat unclear to me (to put it mildly!).

        And, last question I promise, any chance we’ll be seeing you on ‘Cricket Writers on TV’?


      • Ali Martin May 10, 2015 / 3:49 pm

        Strauss for both. And have made myself available for selection for the ratings-busting CWOTV.


      • SimonH May 10, 2015 / 4:52 pm

        Cheers Ali.


      • paulewart May 10, 2015 / 7:26 pm

        Surely the coach should have the final say about his captain? I foresee trouble.


  15. Mark May 9, 2015 / 9:53 pm

    “vile ignoramuses”

    Ah yes, Bravo. Just the type of image The Cricketer magazine should be projecting. The contempt some of the established cricket writers have for the cricket fan and paying public is a disgrace.

    Most of us Mr Hughes don’t get the luxury of waving a press pass at the gate and waltzing in with a rose clutched in our teeth. We don’t get to sit at Lords in a giant cigar shaped, air conditioned box where we are fed free wine and cake. Some of us have to pay £80 per ticket. Not the £20 Mr Swann might have led you to believe. And for this we can sit in a plastic bucket chair. Every now and again we can venture to the confectionary counter (one for dear old Ritchie) and after taking out a mortgage can buy a few snacks and the odd drink of the sponsors crap product in a plastic cup. Fuck you!

    And if we subscribe to Sky we can look forward to a £600 yearly bill. It is our choice if we pay, but the fact that we do in my view entitles us to a say. You may not like our say, and frankly with your track record this year I couldn’t give a toss for what you like. You have been wrong on almost everything. Your year end puff piece of handing over the editorial of you piss poor rag to Peter Moores looks a bit of duffer now. A collectors item to stack with your copies of where are they now.

    The English paying cricket fan deserves a lot better than the shite served up by the ECB and defended by people like you and your cake munching chums.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Benny May 9, 2015 / 10:59 pm

      So right Mark. Have to say I don’t give a monkeys what a nobody like Simon hughes says

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Clivejw May 9, 2015 / 11:06 pm

    This could be my last post on the Guardian as clivejw once the mods see it. It’s only a distillation of what Dmitri and Aaron & others have said, but here it is already:

    Lots of hand-wringing going on in the MSM about the shabby treatment of a man whom they obviously all liked personally, and why not, good luck to him. A bit different from the thigh-slapping and high-fiveing that was going on when another person was treated far more shabbily by a lying and vindictive organization that the MSM gave a completely free pass to. I believe some bilious hack even picked an ugly four-letter expletive addressed to that person as one of his highlights of the year. Bit different when one of your own gets shafted, isn’t it?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Mark May 9, 2015 / 11:31 pm

      Excellent Clive. And there lies the rub. When the boot is on the other foot they seem rather less inclined to be quite so nice. Funny that.

      ” Why can’t KP write a nice positive book? Why does he have to be so bitter? Why has he spoilt the memories of England success?,The ECB wouldn’t behave like that, they are decent people ” …….on and on it went.


    • paulewart May 10, 2015 / 7:24 am

      Excellent. I’ve made the same point to the wctt. It’s been a traumatic day for him. It’s very slowly dawning on him that the ECB and MSM’s strategy is to play the man not the ball and has been all along.


      • Zephirine May 10, 2015 / 12:31 pm

        Then he’ll find something else for everybody but him to be wrong about.

        Liked by 2 people

      • paulewart May 10, 2015 / 1:25 pm

        No, he’ll just tell me it’s a county cricket bat and a county cricket ball so I wouldn’t know anything about it.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. hatmallet May 10, 2015 / 10:20 am

    Discussion on Twitter involving Hopps and Booth regarding leaking and not leaking. At least some are prepared to engage with readers rather than resort to sneering comments.

    And some encouragement from Hoult and Hopps over Strauss:

    As I’ve said in another comment, as much as I share concerns over Strauss’ suitability for the job, I don’t want to leap to judgement before he’s done anything. Strauss isn’t stupid, I’m hoping he will make good decisions for English cricket even if he won’t be a radical visionary.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Zephirine May 10, 2015 / 12:50 pm

      I take heart from this picture:

      thestowmassive has kept it as his avatar and it cheers me up every time I read one of his (usually very good) comments.

      Call me naïve, but I do believe anybody who can get caught by the camera with that look on his face towards a small piece of cricket history has got to be all right.


      • Zephirine May 10, 2015 / 2:07 pm

        PS I intended to link to that pic, not reproduce it – it’s copyright The Guardian, hopefully they won’t mind.

        Liked by 1 person

  18. thebogfather May 10, 2015 / 10:41 am

    According to a brief convo on twitter between Selfie and @BilyUsInAdEq (a twitter ‘newbie’ ;-)) regarding Flower and his role/power – Selfie hasn’t seen him in nearly a year, but states he only runs the young-uns at Loughborough…. Hmm


  19. thebogfather May 10, 2015 / 10:49 am

    Dmitri – Ĉu mi povas havi tiun titolon post pic por mia ‘ amiko ‘ nova twiiter konton ?


  20. SimonH May 10, 2015 / 10:59 am

    Conversations on Twitter have started up in the last hour about the source of the Moores’ story on Friday. Lawrence Booth and Mike Walters are especially worth checking out. The former has denied that it was a leak but he has a very particular definition of a ‘leak’. There must be sinister intent. That begs a few questions…..

    I’ve also noticed that both Ali Martin’s and Lawrence Booth’s stories from Friday are timed at 12:00. I simply offer that as an observation and there could be several explanations.

    Whatever happened, Tom Harrison (who I’m trying to keep an open mind about) has made the right decision about Moores but is getting almost no credit for it because all the focus was on the process. The process does of course matter – but the story could have been Moores to stay for the NZ Tests or the whole summer. That fact has been rather lost.

    Tucked away in several of the reports is the agreement that there have been no behind-the-scenes talks already with Gillespie. That is honourable – it also means that if Gillespie turns it down they are in a right hole.

    By the way, Gillespie has dropped Plunkett from today’s Yorkshire game for breaches of discipline (missing a photocall and practice, apparently).


    • Tom May 10, 2015 / 11:23 am

      I love my cricket but am 8000 miles away so am very much outside the loop (some may say outside cricket). So can someone please explain things for me?

      The ECB fired Moores. That was their decision and their’s alone. News of Moores’ sacking was posted in the media before the decision was announced by the ECB.

      How is this not a leak by the ECB? Do the media have spies in ECB meetings? How does an internal ECB decision get announced by the media before the ECB announce the news? It must have come from the ECB. I can’t come up with another explanation. Help!

      Liked by 1 person

      • hatmallet May 10, 2015 / 11:41 am

        Journalists are saying the ECB didn’t leak to them.

        Which presumably means there was a chain of info being passed on.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Tom May 10, 2015 / 11:55 am

        Thanks, mathallet. I feel like an under-prepared student after sitting through their first lecture on the theory of quantum mechanics. Maybe the news of Moores’ sacking came to the media’s attention via quantum mechanical tunneling from the ECB, but it originally came from the ECB no matter what.


      • thebogfather May 10, 2015 / 12:05 pm

        There’s a vortex under the now ‘Graceless gates’…


      • d'Arthez May 10, 2015 / 1:27 pm

        Probably what has happened is the following:

        Meetings, meetings and more meetings, in attempt to build consensus over Moores’ position. Approximately 792 blazers were involved. One of them, could not keep his gab shut and told Nick Knight (or whoever ). Said person leaked the story, and lo and behold! We have a big story, because the ECB are giving “Amateurish Incompetence Ltd.” another lesson in PR-disasterology.

        I am sure this is downplaying the journalistic effort involved. But the fact that the story broke from outside the ECB, does not mean that the story was not leaked through the ECB. After all, if everybody kept their gab shut, no one would have known beforehand.

        And we cannot even be certain that the leaks happened, in “good confidence” – Knight (or whoever), might have gotten the story, in the full expectation that he himself would not keep his trap shut. Could be factional fighting behind the scenes.

        Liked by 3 people

      • thebogfather May 10, 2015 / 1:54 pm

        @D’Arthez .. hmm ‘journalistic effort’ – wasn’t that out-ruled by the blazers 18 months ago?


  21. SimonH May 10, 2015 / 11:10 am

    Selvey has just tweeted that Cricket Writers on TV will be back “soon”.

    If anybody notices it in the schedules please post a comment.


    • thebogfather May 10, 2015 / 11:15 am

      Aren’t they changing the title to ‘ECB stenographers on scripted drivel’ ?

      Liked by 2 people

      • geoffboycottsgrandmother May 10, 2015 / 1:58 pm

        btw If you’re interested and don’t have a Sky subscription, there’s a podcast available (or at least use to be).


    • Arron Wright May 10, 2015 / 11:46 am

      I like to refer to it as “Manufacturing Consent”. Although it does at least invite a broader spectrum of writers than TMS manages.

      Liked by 1 person

      • thebogfather May 10, 2015 / 12:00 pm

        Not being a Skymyopic, having cancelled my sub over two years ago, I’m purely a TMS man.

        There is still a mix, once you get past the Aggers/Swanny ECB sycophancy, the ED (I read dictionaries you know) patheticity, and the sometimes far too mutual bonhomie.

        The first test v NZ will have Ag/Ed as well as Coney who always talks sense and has a lot of experience to share, and Vaughan (unshackled from ECB possibility – for now) and Sir Geoffrey – off his full run/cap-turned/fresh rhubarb and very angry.

        Tuffers is due back during the summer and although he tries to play the joker a bit too often, he has more worth saying overall than Swann, who, when he;s not ‘LoveJoying’ can give us some insight into what should be happening (his rant at Cook in WI was intelligent in its thinking just lost in his inability to ‘getoverhimself’)

        Oh, and ‘Blowers’ will be back, i presume, and Marks (who was quite good when banished to ‘lesser games’ during CWC, but suffers as Aggers stooge when together.

        I hope they have a decent aus summariser for the ashes – not ABoredom

        Liked by 1 person

      • paulewart May 10, 2015 / 1:35 pm

        Good call. I favour a hybrid: Manufacturing Consent as a result of Stockholm Syndrome.


      • Arron Wright May 10, 2015 / 1:57 pm

        I meant the final day press slot specifically. Etheridge and Brenkley are virtual ever-presents, Newman and Selvey next in line, and hardly anyone else gets a look-in.

        Liked by 1 person

      • thebogfather May 10, 2015 / 1:59 pm

        @PAULEWART – Have these Stockholm bods got a team we could play (beat)? Can they manufacture an alternative reality to the ECB/ Is there oil in Sweden? Our Paraguayan cricket executive is available to help…

        Liked by 1 person

      • thebogfather May 10, 2015 / 2:01 pm

        @Arron – How can they have more than four when there is only one ECB script to share?

        Liked by 1 person

      • escort May 10, 2015 / 3:15 pm

        Will the Pringle still be invited to give his view now that he is “freelance”?


      • SimonH May 10, 2015 / 10:25 pm

        John Etheridge has tweeted he’s on the first CWOTV on the 24th.


    • Mark May 10, 2015 / 11:50 am

      As Slevey likes to publish his highlights of the year I offer my own CWOTV highlight from last year. This was when in a arrogantly throw away line Selvey said he had no understanding of how the ICC works.

      Pure genius. A man who is employed as a cricket journalist has no understanding of how the governing body of world cricket opperates. Or apparently little interest in finding out.

      By the way Simon what is the Twitter feed saying about Cook in all this? Has his job been assured?

      Liked by 1 person

      • thebogfather May 10, 2015 / 12:09 pm

        Sheep shearing party and dead-duck shooting underway at Cookies farm (inside inside invites only)


      • SimonH May 10, 2015 / 12:30 pm

        Cook? No mention – he’s back to his best, you know.

        Liked by 1 person

    • LordCanisLupus May 10, 2015 / 12:03 pm

      Football season needs to finish. Might be during first test but think that clashes with Champions League final.


      • man in a barrel May 10, 2015 / 7:40 pm

        I agree it is a good read. Sadly it reminds me how appalling the Wisden Cricketer is now under the tutelage of my the alienist.


  22. Amit Garg May 10, 2015 / 2:14 pm

    The word Disappointment, doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. The more things change, the more they remain the same. To see the fans being treated like dirt, by these “experts” must surely bring about some editorial changes, I hope. I just can’t imagine how these guys retain their jobs despite treating their readers like Muppet and calling them names. What an unholy mess.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. dvyk May 10, 2015 / 3:19 pm

    Laurence Booth has cleared up the “ill-informed” rumours that Moores’ sacking was leaked by the ECB. It wasn’t a leak, but rather a “seep”.

    “There was too long a gap between the first rumour that he had replaced Paul Downton… allowing plenty of scope for his personal views of Moores to seep out.”

    So maybe that’s an aspect of the new management structure — rather than leaking like a sieve, the ECB under Strauss’s Alex Ferguson-like stability will from now on merely seep information.

    (And incidentally, if reports of Gilespie’s coaching style are accurate — much more independence and self-reliance for the players on the field. how will that work out for Cook? In the Caribbean the poor 12th man was scurrying back and forth between him and Moores. I doubt Gilespie would have much patience with him. I think Farbrace is in with a good chance if he shows himself adept at maintaining dignified mediocrity.)

    Liked by 3 people

    • SimonH May 10, 2015 / 3:41 pm

      Simon Wilde has made much the same point (minus the “dignified mediocrity”!) about Farbrace in the ST today. A decent show against NZ, Gillespie reluctant and Farbrace could inherit the show.

      I’ve seen someone mention England don’t currently have a bowling coach – was Ottis Gibson’s appointment only temporary for the WI tour?


      • d'Arthez May 10, 2015 / 5:18 pm

        Gibson was appointed for the WI tour only Simon.


      • Pontiac May 11, 2015 / 1:38 am

        Various West Indies fans have an opinion about that. And indeed how ironic that here, yes, here’s Farbrace, ha!


  24. SimonH May 10, 2015 / 4:57 pm

    KP in against Leicestershire. With press conference on Tuesday a century would be good timing! Hopefully all those who whipped themselves into a frenzy about ‘Muppetgate’ will remember to be polite about Leicestershire’s bowling should it happen…..

    Elsewhere, a fifty for Lyth and 2/35 for Wood but failures for Ali and Rashid.


  25. SimonH May 10, 2015 / 6:05 pm

    Brenkley (not a full fisk):-

    “Andrew Strauss will make his first public appearance as director of England cricket tomorrow”.

    Thought it was Tuesday?

    “Presumably, given the usual routine at ECB Towers, it would have leaked by now if Strauss wanted to replace the captain, Alastair Cook”.

    Raised a smile until……

    “Cook has grown as a captain and, having come so far with him, it would be almost perverse to sack him now – and have there not, by now, been sackings enough?”

    …..wait for it……

    “It would help if this particular hare [KP] could finally stop running. In a podcast on the Lord’s website a few weeks ago, Strauss alluded to the fact that recalling Pietersen would be difficult. He should state unequivocally whether Pietersen is now eligible for selection or not”.


    Liked by 1 person

    • Mark May 10, 2015 / 8:01 pm

      It’s always about KP. Brenkely just begs for mercy. If only the ECB would put him out of his misery and announce that KP will never play for England again. That’s all he wants. Nothing else.

      As for Cook, we have gone from TINA to “having come so far with him.”


      “Maybe somewhere down the road aways (End of the Line)
      You’ll think of me, wonder where I am these days (End of the Line)
      Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays (End of the Line)
      Purple haze”


      • d'Arthez May 10, 2015 / 9:09 pm

        I was more thinking of “Congratulations”

        “Congratulations for breaking my heart
        Congratulations for tearing it all apart
        Congratulations you finally did succeed
        Congratulations for leaving me in need”


    • hatmallet May 10, 2015 / 8:03 pm

      Monday/Tuesday – it’s probably because the article has been written for print and will appear in Monday’s paper.


    • thebogfather May 11, 2015 / 7:47 am

      Oh so blinkered is Brenkley
      ‘Cook has grown as captain’ – 31 tests, still learning, apparently
      ‘Perverse to sack him now’? – not ever a leader, our ‘sacred cow’, ‘YES’ not meant disparagingly
      He must go,now, not eventually


  26. "IronBalls" McGinty May 10, 2015 / 7:23 pm

    It’s been a long day…a gallon of Oakham Green Devil at 6% nearly saw me off.
    Anyway, our Lordship…alluding to the sub heading to the blog title…I am wrestling with :-
    Should it be ignoramuses, or, ignoramii?? I need to know these things! Wouldn’t we just hate to be called illetaratii as well?


    • "IronBalls" McGinty May 10, 2015 / 7:25 pm

      Illiteratii….I’m going back to bed…nite nite all!


    • Mark May 10, 2015 / 10:40 pm

      I look forward to Hughes and Selvey taking on Ian Botham. I will get the popcorn.

      Sevey/Hughes vs Botham/Boycott. Seems a bit of a miss match.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Simon K May 11, 2015 / 8:25 am

        “At least we won’t have to commentate with each other any more!” you sense that isn’t entirely a joke…


  27. Clivejw May 10, 2015 / 8:13 pm

    KP and Sangkarra each made a brisk 35 not out in the evening sunshine at the Oval today. And Kev capped it with a nice gesture to the young Leicestershire batsman Lewis Hill, who made a century for the Foxes in only his second first-class game. And wonder of wonders, at least one press man managed to report this without a sneer, as if it was a nice gesture and not some coded message to the selectors or treachery to his team mates:

    Having played the final ball of the day back up the pitch to Jigar Naik in careful, almost exaggerated, defence, Kevin Pietersen turned, took off his batting gloves and offered his hand to Lewis Hill, fielding at short leg.

    It was a nice gesture from Pietersen and one the bashfully smiling Hill clearly appreciated.

    Richard Rae in the Guardian, thanks for the return of normality and civility to cricket reporting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • paulewart May 10, 2015 / 8:36 pm

      Is that the sound of a P45 flying through the air? 🙂


    • Zephirine May 10, 2015 / 10:57 pm

      It is a good report, I wanted to put something BTL as a bit of positive reinforcement – but as I never usually comment on county cricket I’d just have got the Defenders of the Faith calling me an intrusive Kevin-worshipping celebophile who’d only turned up because it was about KP etc etc etc.


  28. SimonH May 10, 2015 / 10:08 pm

    Nick Hoult reckons like Ali Martin that Strauss first speaks to the public on Tuesday – but others are saying Monday.

    He has a new bit of info:
    “Pietersen was expected to meet Graves or Tom Harrison, the ECB’s chief executive, on his return from commentating at the World Cup. That has not happened, although a meeting was scheduled but was cancelled by the ECB as it coincided with the day they sacked Paul Downton”.

    Wow, that’s impressive.


  29. SimonH May 10, 2015 / 10:28 pm

    From the acting manager of the Campaign for Real Englishness Please:


  30. Mark May 10, 2015 / 10:37 pm

    Not being funny but how much are all these contracts being broken costing the ECB? Downton sacked, Moores sacked. I take it they have to pay up the outstanding contract? Then employ someone new. It’s money for old rope.


    • Simon K May 11, 2015 / 8:21 am

      They probably wouldn’t have been employed on a contractual basis – certainly not Downton. In both cases there may have been a payment to avoid action for unfair dismissal, roughly around six months’ pay.


  31. metatone May 11, 2015 / 8:18 am

    Ok, so “it’s not about KP” – but then we get this:

    Author : “Alan Gardner is an assistant editor at ESPNcricinfo. @alanroderick”

    Title: “England coach: Gillespie’s potential rivals”

    Quote from the article – section on Tom Moody:

    “Has English experience, having played for and coached Worcestershire, but chances may be harmed by recently advocating for Kevin Pietersen’s return.”

    Now I don’t think this is that “author” expressing an opinion, so much as reflection how the wind is (still) blowing in the ECB.

    But for me it gets to the heart of the problems with the original appointment of Moores and the appointment of Strauss. The ECB is choosing from a narrow field for these jobs – people happy to hobble their own chances of success by letting upper management dictate whether or not talented players can be considered for selection.

    The only reason people can think that Gillespie might take the jobs is that JG might be confident that he’ll have support from Colin Graves.

    As an aside, I can well imagine that JG will turn the job down – after all he might harbour ambitions of being Lehmann’s successor…

    Liked by 1 person

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