Cricket Press

Battle

LordCanisLupus84 Comments

As if we are surprised, the battle lines remain drawn. Those who think that the exclusion of Kevin Pietersen is the single most important thing in the game, and those that think that those who did it have been proven catastrophically wrong.

Jim Holden’s laughable piece, brilliantly picked apart by D’Arthez on here, has received backing from Simon Hughes and Paul Newman on Twitter. Both of these have been completely out of their prams whenever Pietersen’s name is mentioned. One is a massive supporter of Alastair Cook, another played a great deal of his county cricket alongside Paul Downton. Their support for the piece has been laughed at by many, with Tickers having a good old go on Twitter.

It seems as though little has changed in 12 or so months. However, there are journalists now prepared to countenance change – Nick Hoult may or may not have changed due to the paper hiring Pietersen, but the exit stage left of Pringle shows much of their editorial approach has changed. In addition Ali Martin is being far more even-handed than a Mike Selfey might have been. These are little acorns compared to the mighty ancient jokes in the media forest who put personal animosity over the real problem. That is an organisation that treats its real lifeblood with contempt. I’m not naming names, but you know who they are.

With Graves about to enact something or other, and former Derbyshire all-rounder Tom Harrison seemingly taking control of things, there is uncertainty. Ridiculous cat calls that Graves doesn’t start his role until May are especially hilarious given what Downton was up to before he took up his post last year and for which received no similar rebuke. Graves may be all things to all men at the moment, but what he is is a threat to the current flawed, and more importantly ridiculed hierarchy of Giles, Downton, Whitaker and Moores. Propping up Cook props up this lot, even with Cook’s mildest of hissy fits.

The same old battle lines, the same old nonsense, the same old resistance to admitting backing the wrong horse in a one horse race. Those not with the change programmes are being left behind. There’s a new chief coming along and he’s not listening to you, like Downton did when he asked you lot what you thought about Pietersen. Supporting those who prop this edifice up, the Cook captaincy, laughed at by most; the Downton follies; the Moores Matrices and the Whitaker Waffles all stupefying in their incompetence, all making us a laughing stock, is not taking us forward. It is holding us back.

Have a good week, folks.

Obvious

LordCanisLupus44 Comments

Quote….of….the….debacle. Jim Holden, Sunday Express…

It is obvious to me, and it should be obvious to anyone with the game’s best interests at heart, that this admirable cricketer must be at the centre of the renewal and regeneration that is now urgently required.

This admirable cricketer is one that has not scored a test ton in nearly two years, has been woefully out of form for as long as anyone can remember, is not a captain of any tactical nous that we’ve noticed, has presided over a whitewash to our most impacable foe, and lost a series at home to Sri Lanka. He’s shown himself to be tactically inept, not contributing runs, whiny in his dealings with the press, and resistant to those characters who may actually question this.

Your definition of obvious is different to mine. You do not have the monopoly on the “best interests of the game”. On the contrary, continuing with a bunch of losers will only turn more people off.

I used to rate Jim Holden. I really did. This is nonsense. Arrant nonsense. D’Arthrez did a more formal fisk, and I encourage people to read it.

History has proved beyond any doubt that Pietersen, for all his batting talent, is not a character that a suffering team can rally around. Alastair Cook is.

You really have to laugh. Losers rally around a loser, a nice loser. It’s that “good environment” that threw the World Cup hopes away, not ditching Alastair Cook.

Ho Ho Ho…. Here’s “The Analyst” who obviously doesn’t use his advertised skill when it comes to our captain…

D’arthez Fisk…

“THE most significant words of another week of trauma and torment for English cricket came not from the motor-mouth of Kevin Pietersen but the normally reserved tongue of Test captain Alastair Cook.”

Funny, I don’t remember Kevin Pietersen calling anyone a C**t on live air. That is the kind of speech I associate with motormouths. As for “normally reserved”, he has taken that to new extremes. We have been waiting for his side of the story for nearly a year now. And the confidentiality agreement expired in October 2014.

“They revealed the depth of his fury and discontent about being sacked as one-day skipper on the eve of the World Cup – and by association with the chaotic shenanigans that currently surround the England team.”

So, is Jim Holden implying that all is not well within the ECB? Funny that, people like Dmitri, Aaron and many others have been saying that for years. Cook seems a bit slow to catch up – but presumably only because the shenanigans finally affect him. He is still quite happy to be mute about the sacking of Kevin Pietersen. And he has not had much to say about the half dozen batsmen who outperformed him, and were dropped for that heinous offence.

““I think you saw the dangers of making such a big decision so close to a tournament,” said Cook of his ruthless dismissal as ODI captain.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. However, if you had the testicles, and the best interest of England cricket at heart you would have walked away from the ODI side months before, probably after that “galvanising” interview you gave after the Aussies beat England yet again in an ODI.

(LCL comment – Ruthless? Jesus. Wait until the last minute and that’s ruthless. Should have happened months before that. Everyone knows that. This sort of thing…. just despair of these people.)

“It looked like the lads were shell-shocked from the first two games. That’s when you need real leadership to steer you through. I would have loved the opportunity that was taken from me.”

Yeah, we saw that leadership in the Ashes. Were apparently you galvanised Pietersen in looking disinterested. And he was promptly sacked for not responding to your excellent leadership skills. The only one who did not act shellshocked on that tour was Stokes.

““The selectors thought it was best for English cricket, but hindsight has probably proved them wrong.”

Hindsight has not proved them wrong. Who knows what depths England would have plumbed if you had been there. Bell certainly batted better than you would have done.

(LCL comment – this is great. This is taking the getting better while not playing ethos to an absurd level. We were ranks for over a year with him as our ODI leader. Hindsight now means he was better than that? Good grief.)

““The Test team was in a good place (before this). There was a feel-good factor last August. Now a hell of a lot of confidence has gone, and we have a repair job to do.”

You mean, the players forcibly bought into the nonsense that you had defeated the greatest touring side since the West Indies of the 1980s? That is confidence inspiring.

“Cook is a sportsman who always chooses his comments carefully. From him, this is pure dynamite.”

Like when he said that Prior could play as long as he saw fit? Like when he said that Buttler was not ready for Test cricket? Like his glorious defence of Anderson in Jadejagate? Like when he hurled some expletives to Mathews after the Mankading incident? Like when he promised to give his side of the story on the sacking of Pietersen?

This is not dynamite. This is simply a foot soldier, who angry, that he has been denied his request for foie gras, decides to pout a bit about his superiors.

“They came in a week in which the chairman elect of the ECB, Colin Graves, was thoroughly undermining national selector James Whitaker and England managing director Paul Downton by having direct telephone talks with the outcast Pietersen.”

Pray tell, how is it undermining Downton? After all, he is not the one who makes selection calls. Mission creep anyone? As for Whitaker, who presumably, between muttering Gary Ballance’s name every 4 seconds, professes that selection should be based on merit, I have not heard one meritocratic argument against considering Pietersen for selection, from Whitaker.

“What does Graves think he is doing? He has not yet started his new role, and he has no business talking to any player right now, never mind one in the wilderness from the England team for more than a year and who has caused such discord with vicious attacks in autobiography.”

And did not apply to Downton last year? Or is this simply a case of: “any decision I agree with must be taken, no matter how improper it is, but any decision I disagree with is improper per definition.”

(LCL – spot on D. Downton did all his undermining before he started the role and plenty of that leaked, sorry was the source of good journalism, before February. Unbelievable double standards.)

“Almost in tandem came credible reports that the outgoing current chairman Giles Clarke would refuse to sanction the dismissal of head coach Peter Moores, Whitaker or Downton.”

He only gets to make those calls until May this year. Then Giles can charm the ICC in Dubai.

“What an unholy mess.”

Unholy mess? Who could have predicted that? Who? Why, people on places like TheFullToss, and the predecessor of this blog did. How? They actually looked at how (in)competently the ECB dealt with the fall-out of the Ashes, how the press was refusing to take the ECB to account on a plethora of issues. People like us practiced more journalism than you seem to be capable of Jim.

It seems that a civil war is raging out of control in our national summer game – with an Ashes summer a few months away and the England side shortly to fly off for a Test series against the West Indies.

“In nearly 30 years of reporting on the state of English cricket I cannot recall a more troubling time.”

Probably because the troubled times in the past, led to action. As dismal as the 1990s were, the press was not supine, and the ECB at least gave the pretense of TRYING to fix what was wrong with English cricket. The ECB’s current stand is to blame those “outside of cricket”, to tell the “stakeholders” to pay up AND shut up.

“Strategic decisions appear to be made on a whim. Nobody has the wit or the authority to take the tough action that is required.”

And you were complaining that Graves was overstepping his mandate by merely hinting that all was not well. You were implying that Moores and Whitaker were doing splendidly well? You said Giles Clarke had the authority to sack Moores and Downton, the two biggest disasters off the playing field in 2014. Yet, you state he has no interest in doing so.

“There can be no wonder that Cook felt he had to speak out forcibly. He is a sane voice amid the bedlam.”

Sane voice? I have given a few examples above, why that is a questionable assessment at best.

“It is obvious to me, and it should be obvious to anyone with the game’s best interests at heart, that this admirable cricketer must be at the centre of the renewal and regeneration that is now urgently required.”

Admirable? How many players has he thrown under the bus to protect his 300k / year bonus for being the captain? How does it benefit English cricket to play a guy with a three-inch tear in his achilles? As a wicketkeeper to boot! How does it benefit English cricket when Matty Prior has to give the team talks, because “that admirable cricketer” can’t rally the troops? As for renewal and regeneration, how did that pan out in 2014? Embarrassing loss upon embarrassing loss.

“Cook is 30. He has the robust support of all the players barring a couple of inevitable malcontents and the self-serving giant ego that is Pietersen.”

The malcontents? Who would that be? The half-dozen players who were dropped for outbatting Cook? The players who could not get into the ODI side, because the square-jawed deer in the headlights had to waste a slot? The people who don’t dare to speak out, as they are aware of what happened when someone did. We’re still waiting for an explanation that sounds a bit more coherent than “He was like … uh … difficult”.

“Throw him to the wolves and English cricket will plunge even further into crisis, as the pitiful World Cup display illustrated with crystal clarity.”

Funny, the ECB just did that by keeping him on in the ODI side for far too long. Make up your mind Jim.

“As for Pietersen, what are his motives in all the politicking and talking he does? His book painted a picture of a man deeply disenchanted with playing for England, a cricketer bereft of joy.”

Pietersen does not suffer from Stockholm syndrome. What is next? Will you insist that victims of war crimes, or grave criminal offences, will be talking all lovey-dovey in their memoirs on the horrible events?

“Now he seems to think he can return and all will be sweet and rosy and smiles and laughter in the dressing room.

This is nonsense that belongs to Alice in Wonderland.”

Just as Cook actually leading his side well. Pity that the people in la-la-la land dominate in the press and in the ECB.

“The other day Pietersen said: “I’ll do anything to play for England.” Well, let’s take him at his word and cast a few suggestions his way.

If he’ll do anything, will he apologise sincerely in public and private for the savage and unwarranted personal attacks he made on Matt Prior and former head coach Andy Flower in his book?’”

Funny that NO such demands were made of in no particular order, Swann, Anderson, Broad, Strauss (on live television), by the press. In fact the press celebrated misogynistic abuse hurled by Strauss at him.

(LCL comment – maybe after Andy Flower and the ECB say sorry for leaking for the best part of five years prior to that dismissal)

Strauss said no less than: “”I’ve always got on very well with Kevin. I’ve tried to be honest with him, and he’s been honest with me.”

Which suggests that everybody called each other c***s and c***s in the dressing room, or that gasp players other than Kevin Pietersen are lying about matters. Take your pick.

“Will he eat humble pie and admit it was outrageous that he agitated to have team-mate James Taylor removed from the England side?”

It has been denied by Taylor himself. Taylor had all of two Tests and two ODIs before Pietersen was sacked.

(LCL presumably no-one else agreed with that assessment given he wasn’t picked for two years after that)

“Will he denounce in the strongest possible terms the despicable comments made by his great friend Piers Morgan 12 months ago describing Cook as a “repulsive little weasel”?”

Will you denounce Strauss? For offending merely 25 million people. Will you denounce Selvey, who called that utterance a highlight of the cricketing year? Or do you think it is splendid PR, if you promote the sport as a highly sexist, misogynistic and stone age affair?

(LCL – Why the hell should he?)

“Will he refuse the offer of special treatment and a personal meeting with Graves and just throw himself into the mix like any other player in county cricket?”

That is the question. As for special treatment: is it that strange to want some reassurances that selection will be based on MERIT, rather than “face-fittingness”? That is not a strange question since a bowler with a FC average of close to 50 in the past 2 seasons has been picked to tour the West Indies.

“Will he admit that his enthusiastic desire to play against England a couple of months ago for an Australian Prime Minister’s XI was nothing but a cheap publicity stunt deliberately aimed at embarrassing English cricket?”

He was in Australia. He was in good form, and there were injuries for the PM’s XI to deal with, as well as ongoing series with India and the Big Bash league. I suppose they could have asked Cook, but then they might have been just as well batting with 10 men.

“I can’t imagine Kevin Pietersen will want to do any of this.”

I can’t either, as long as you’re happily celebrating double standards.

“And it’s just as well, because a return for him could only prolong and intensify the current agony.”

Yeah, losing by playing crap cricket is to be preferred to losing by playing exciting cricket.

“History has proved beyond any doubt that Pietersen, for all his batting talent, is not a character that a suffering team can rally around. Alastair Cook is.”

Remind me how successful 2014 was? How excellently he batted? Remind me who was the batsmen that offered to help (and did) help the bowlers with their batting techniques? Who was it who had the brilliant idea to work on fitness rather than batting practice after yet another humilating Ashes loss?

Dispiriting

LordCanisLupus32 Comments

I’m not in the mood.

If I was to write something, it would probably fill up the Dmitri Swear Box, and I’m a bit short of the readies at the moment.

There has been no news. I didn’t really expect any. What I didn’t expect is the subtle buffering of the incumbents. We should be demanding change, the proper change, the change that gives up opportunities to move forward. This coach, and this MD have not been up to it. I’m sorry, but they’ve been abject, hanging on to that India test series win like a drowning man clutching a serpent.

Keep on doing what we are doing. That’s the way. Blame county cricket. Blame inexperience. Blame structures. Blame anyone but those running the show. Blameless to a man.

I’m not seeking vindication for my views. Yes, I don’t mind being proved right, but that isn’t what motivates me. I care passionately about my country, and the cricket team we put out. I have suffered through bad times. I don’t have the monopoly on that. But I’m not having it that I might be motivated by vindication. If anyone has any doubt about that, I suggest they read other blogs who might be more comfy than this one. You think I give up all this time, and effort, to get some vindication? Deluded.

Had enough with these people. They deserve the lapdogs that report on them. They deserve the cosy establishment that cossets them. The game will go down the drain, and no doubt they’ll all be saying it wasn’t their fault.

After all, they didn’t have the balls to sack a lame duck chair who would have lost an election, instead giving him a cosy international sinecure. You think they’d do something decisive now?

Carefree

LordCanisLupus34 Comments

Although I am not, and never have been, a Chelsea fan, I thought I’d use one of their buzzwords for the title of this post in honour of another edifice with a reputation based on perception rather than reality. Much like the Premier League’s vainglorious battle cry that it is “the best league in the world”, the machinations and spinning of England’s cricket team approach to tournaments and series as being the most advanced, the most professional and the most thorough is becoming as laughable a mantra. Work hard and the results will come. Everything comes through hard work. Perspiration rather than inspiration.

It seems, from the tone of some (not all) of the articles that I have read, and I have most certainly not read them all, is that although this is a calamitous World Cup, and another opportunity gone begging, (a) it doesn’t matter; and (b) if we win the Ashes, who gives a stuff. This sort of attitude drives me round the bend. It is not, and it has never been a quid pro quo. Let me take you back to the year 1987. Australia had been on the end of some chastening test losses, including losing at home to New Zealand and a beating in the Ashes both home and away. Lore is that Border got sick of it, and turned it around by being nasty. I contend that winning the 1987 World Cup was the real start. They stuck with players that had disappointed, believing in their talent (Steve Waugh, David Boon) and started to build on that. What they needed was a boost, and winning the World Cup was it. They did not look back.  They came over in 1989 and thrashed us to pieces – without rain helping us in tests 3 and 6, it would have been 6-0 – and our complacency was matched by our Dexterian stupidity. Australia have never thought in terms of either/or, yet we sit here watching people say that only the one thing matters to us. Who the hell do we think we are?

Mike Selvey’s article posted last night, and which was summed up beautifully by SimonH as a “continental-sized piece of dung” is an example of our condescension to ODI cricket in particular, and to fans as well as it insults our intelligence. It talks about how fate was cruel to England in terms of the run-out. If Jordan had stayed, if he’d seen us home with the impressive Woakes, and if we’d beaten Afghanistan (notice how this was just assumed) and we got to the Quarter-Finals then anything could happen is not clever. It really, really isn’t. A lot of money goes into the game through Sky and our ticket fees. This, in turn, is used to set up all sorts of facilities and amenities to the top level that their predecessors could only dream of. Increasingly, I’m seeing more of this “if only….then this” philosophy permeating English cricket. I see it in the thoughts around the Ashes. If only Australia’s aged players break down like ours did last time around, then we have a brilliant opportunity. Seriously, is there anyone out there who thinks Australia aren’t going to beat us handily. Since 2013-14, we lost a test series at home to Sri Lanka, and yes, beat India, who we all blithely assume checked out once the going got tough in Southampton. Australia lost in UAE, yes, but they won in South Africa. They then comfortably saw aside India who had Kohli in form. There’s this assumption that this 3-1 win against India is some sort of indication that the test team is flying. It isn’t. It hasn’t faced high pace yet. That elephant in the room is never really mentioned.

I can’t make people care about ODI cricket, but I’ll bet these players really care. If anything they may care too much. I don’t know, but the fact that this winter was all ODI cricket and the only focus was the World Cup may have hindered our chances. The format of the game we are least worst at is test cricket, and a good number of the ODI squad play for our test team. Perhaps there was an opportunity to have a quick two test series against Bangladesh, or maybe stick a test in somewhere against Sri Lanka, but we chose not to. We were the only full test nation, I think, to take this clear the decks approach. Every media man or woman thought this was a good idea. Hindsight will probably show that instead of formulating a team ethic, a viable game plan and a familiarity with the game, it entrenched a cosy squad with little to be cosy about, downloaded and installed a flawed game plan which seemed to actively discourage innovation and flexibility until specific moments, and our familarity turned into a inability to adapt. Nothing screamed that more to me when that waste of vocal chords, Paul Downton, cited as an element of progress that we’d “made 300 a couple of times”.

The writings of George Dobell throughout this debacle have been interesting as they strike a different tone. There is always a suggestion, a comment, a positive proposal gained through his love and interest in county cricket and his observing the game. We don’t see this anywhere else. Mark is always on here going on about the cosy cabal between the ECB and the press, and these stories about Downton speaking to various members of them to get back in line and back the boys is worryingly backing up our Mark! The theme of this blog, and it’s angry fore-runner (HDWLIA is still available from the links on the right) has been to hold those in authority to account. It is also to hold those who report on it to similar account. That sounds pompous, but it isn’t.

I’m also not fooled by this turning on Moores by certain elements of the press. These are not new men, persuaded by the evidence just presented to them. They are following not leading opinion. Downton was toast ages ago in the eyes of many. I was getting messages from people who had that view privately but were not expressing it in public. To many the machinations and deliberations in the corridors of power are an arcane irrelevance to the public, those “outside cricket”. But they aren’t in this modern age of social media and blogging. Everything is under scrutiny. The one thing an individual with the hide of a rhino like Giles Clarke brings is the convenient pantomime villain, who shrugs off this stuff like it is normal to him, and doesn’t care a jot. So the media push and prod him, but the executors of his plans stay under the radar. This blogger was at Downton from Day 1. Yes, because he fired KP, but more because he hadn’t the balls to come out, in public, and say why while I was being told how damn great he was by members of the media. I noted the other day Selfey said he wasn’t part of the plan to bring Downton in, but he certainly wasn’t missing an opportunity to big him up when he was appointed.

This carefree attitude to ODI cricket, to those inside the halls of power and towards the people who pay for it has shown in the spin after the event. The players must be sick as dogs, but all I hear is how nice they are, how they are a group of men who you can’t help to pull for. Lovely. We have nice losers. Nothing sums our country up more than that when it comes to sport. Don’t be a single-minded winner, an obsessive, a freak, a natural talent, a boat-rocker, because we find those uncomfortable in sport. Funny how those are always the ones in business though…. If only we turned the tables.

Carefree about ODIs once we’ve lost, carefree about people in power, carefree about our attention span. The selectivity is what grates.

Just another moan on my day off. What’s new….

Unpleasant

LordCanisLupus52 Comments
And don't come back....
You are either Inside, or you are guessing

It has been quite a day, hasn’t it? The line that the ECB spun last night, that the Graves position yesterday was not, in fact, an opening of the door, but merely a restatement of current positions is eroding before our eyes. Nick Hoult’s latest piece in the Telegraph seems to paint a very different picture, and even Selfey’s article gave the game away because he writes it as if there is a chance KP might come back before defending Downton et al. Other articles in The Guardian, here and here, intimate that the existing ECB line last night might be a little, er, premature. I don’t know – maybe someone really in the know can keep those of us outside really informed. Then we might not get so up in arms, eh?

There are clearly, it seems to us trying to figure out what the hell is happening through the prism of our journalistic corps, divisions in the ECB; differences of approaches and perhaps personalities and nuances to do with timing of posts being actually filled. Nature, and bloggers like me abhor vacuums. There’s something afoot, because we’ve seen it before. We remember how Cook was disposed of, the modus operandi of putting something out there, getting the reaction, and moving from there. We aren’t out of the World Cup, yet this looks like jostling for positions to me. The World Cup had better come right or there could be more of this on the way. In the absence of clarity, in the absence of the full context, we’ll try to fill in the blanks.

This blogger, as you know, has a job, watches cricket when it fits in with his life, and has many other things to do. I do not pretend to be a journalist, and I doubt you will ever find a claim to it on here, it’s not my job and I do this because, believe it or not, I enjoy it.

I’ve written on the sport I really enjoy and am thoroughly saddened by in the past year or so. I indulge in speculation based on comparing articles with what I hear, with what I’m told, with what I read, trying to cross reference where I can, but time is limited. I watch the sport, have a vast back catalogue of books, dvds, magazines and podcasts. I’m a cricket nut with not enough time. I also think I know a little, not a lot, about human nature. I am not friends with any cricketer. I hear gossip, much of it told to me by the way, by people who might know. If this is guesswork, then so bloody well be it. But it’s guesswork based on caring, based on looking and reading and trying to draw conclusions. You know, the sort of thing we all do.

Why the anger? Well, a journalist today, who we all know, and I’ve been pretty civil to on here and, from communicating on social media I quite like, posted this on my Twitter feed.

My giddy aunt.

Here’s why I put a picture of Doug Ibbotson on my blog feed, (and it only really seems to appear on my dashboard, which you don’t see, and on blog posts copied onto Twitter) John. Because the edition of Wisden Cricket Monthly in around 1988 it comes from had it, and the thought that a journo today could have a photo like that as his identity pic, complete with pipe, amused me. Plus, as you say John, he was a damn fine journalist. As was David Foot. As was Neil Hallam. The brilliance of the county scene in those WCMs is a million miles away from what we get today in our cricket magazines. So maybe it’s a little nod to a previous era. And maybe, just maybe, a pic of an old journo with a pipe is pretty damn good. I’m not comparing myself to him, I’m not thinking I’m a journalist, and I’m certainly not meaning the use of the pic in any mean-spirited way. I do hope you are not implying that. And please don’t invoke the old “he’s more of a journalist…” stuff because I know he was. Because I’m not.

I’m sorry if you find this blog “quite unpleasant”. I plead guilty to this being guesswork in the main, because I’ve not pretended to be ITK. But you aren’t exactly playing by the rules on your side either.

I actually have a fair bit of time for John Etheridge. I’m surprised he picked on this as something to try to beat me with. Come on, sir.

Right, got that off my chest.

By way of a public service, I managed to capture some of the BTL comments from the Selvey article that got deleted. I have reproduced some of them here. If the author wishes me to take them down, then please let me know and I will be happy to do so. I stored a few others, but they haven’t been deleted yet.

Bag of smoke…
“That theme of course was Kevin Pietersen, the fruit-fly, the pest that will not go away.”
Don’t sit on the fence, Mike.
Honestly, it makes you wonder doesn’t it, about the supposed impartiality of so-called ‘journalists’? Since when was it acceptable to so nakedly express one’s opinions of a player like this? I suppose it beats the normal innuendo, but quite how Selvey thinks this sort of thing is acceptable is beyond me. It’s faintly amusing that he should be so hostile towards our best ever batsman (going on statistics…), whilst affording the current shitshower of an England team and its hierarchy every courtesy.
This bit too made me chuckle – could it be any more matey? Proof, if it were required, that Selvey is essentially a mouthpiece for Downton. What a puppet.
“Downton takes no offence, thinks it was merely something clumsily expressed and in no way malicious :but it is grist to the mill at a bad time.”

Bagsofsmoke again..

“…the fruit-fly, the pest that will not go away.”
Don’t sit on the fence, Mike…
Since when is it acceptable journalism for a correspondent to be so nakedly hostile to a player? I understand you don’t like the man, but afford him some respect, Mike, as England’s best ever batsman. You sound like Etheridge. Since when is this sort of journalism acceptable in the Guardian?
Ah, it all becomes clear. I forget that you’re essentially a puppet, a mouthpiece, for the execrable Paul Downton. Proof, were it required, that that is the case:
“Downton takes no offence, thinks it was merely something clumsily expressed and in no way malicious :but it is grist to the mill at a bad time.”
Gluck
How can His Lordship still be considered a journalist anymore? Is he angling for a job as ECB PR chief (and pray, how would we tell the difference?)
Sorry about the fonts going all over the place….
The Slogfather…
Well.. I’ve waited until now to become an ‘under’, as well as having been a long-term ‘outsider’… but having read this from ‘lordselfie’…
The reality is that the new (yet to be confirmed) ECB (or whatever the next name becomes) Chairman, has now rattled a few cages within the press…
Following on from this, it would/should appear, that the current Team management and overlords (DowntownShabby, MooresThePityful, ForGodsSake -er, HisGreasyGilesness and TheFlowerpotman) are being found out…
There is no team management, just jobsworth incompetence – but then we’ve known that for many a month…
Sadly, most of the mainstream press (with a few notable exceptions) have chose to ignore reality.
So us, being the (outside) meek, shall inherit this dearth…
Others were saved but remain, lots more I missed….

All You Can Cook – Selfey Service

LordCanisLupus16 Comments

Selvey Downton

Once again, let me set the scene by referring back to Alan Tyers most famous tweet around these here parts…

https://twitter.com/alantyers/status/430783842535108609

As we all know, the man we think this refers to most appropriately, even if Mr Tyers might not, is Mike “Selfey” Selvey. His attitude to the great unwashed over the past year has been reprehensible, and if he doesn’t feel loved back, well that’s his fault. He has written articles praising Flower and Gooch despite the disastrous Ashes series, and most memorably for me, telling us all how great Paul Downton would be as MD of the ECB. We all know how that has gone. I’ve not seen one word of contrition on his part for that load of old hogwash.

So if there’s benefit of the doubt going around on a comment or two, the inclination in this parish is not to give to Selfey, because he gives none to any critic. Or at least it appears this way. So when he writes something like this, we’ll grab probably the most obvious end of the stick:

There is a familiarity to it all. Since the back end of November, England have played 15 ODIs and the first seven of those were against Sri Lanka in that country. The result of that series – Sri Lanka winning it by five matches to two – is largely irrelevant when it comes to this match given the entirely different conditions it will be played in.

It is true to say that had Alastair Cook opted to take a break by missing it rather than using it as a team bonding session, he would almost certainly still be leading the squad here now. Such is fate.

Let me do a bullet point breakdown of all this. It needs a decent examination:

  • The tone – throughout this is laced with “I know the inside track and you don’t”. That is, we can’t possibly get to the full story because we are mug punters and they are journalists. The art of journalism is to act as our representatives in that room, not as some sort of privileged conveyor of the establishment’s screed. So results don’t matter, the English wanted a bonding session and Cook was/is possibly a case for special treatment. How else could we think? Because we don’t know….
Invaluable. To be protected at all times.
Invaluable. To be protected at all times.
  • History – Re-writing it is cool. If Cook, as Selvey supposes, chose to miss the Sri Lanka ODI tour, does anyone here seriously think he/the toxic brand would have got away with it? Do you actually think it was an option on the table? Even the toxic brand couldn’t pull that one on us. So, frankly, even raising this is bunkum. But it implies he knows something we don’t. I’m sure he does, but raising it in late February when selection for the ODI tour to Sri Lanka was in September, was it not?
  • Results are irrelevant – Clearly they weren’t. If Cook had struggled, but we’d won that series, then he’d still be in place. The fury would still be there, but losing the series 5-2 combined with the lack of form Cook showed meant he was dead. Results weren’t irrelevant.
  • The Sri Lanka tour as team bonding session – International cricket as a practice match, as something not to get up for, as something that it doesn’t matter how you play. To use the over-rated, and overused, quote by Steve Archibald, team spirit is “an illusion glimpsed in the aftermath of victory” and bonding in defeat rarely ends well. I don’t know, you don’t have to look too far back to see how that defeat thing helps team mates get on. The fact is that while some games are defintitely more important than others, and we are not ignorant of that fact, if these games were “largely irrelevant” then more shame on the England team for taking that approach. They were equally irrelevant to Sri Lanka, after all, because surely England don’t have the monopoly on not giving a shit, and they still roused themselves to stuff us. Fans cannot tolerate being told international sport doesn’t matter. Do you think an Aussie takes the field thinking that? They are the standard we are aiming for. New Zealand certainly didn’t think their preparation cricket was largely irrelevant. Maybe, by bonding session, the press thought they might get another Ian Bell as crap leader leak….
  • Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve ranted about a largely irrelevant when it comes to this game. Well, yes, it is. But you can’t tell me that the Sri Lanka series is treated as an irrelevance by the media. They tell you that by their team bonding nonsense. So no, I’m not giving them that out. After all, prior to that series, anyone remember the journalists weather forecasting abilities when citing how stupid this tour was?
  • The cult of Cook – opinion is divided as to whether Selfey, who has claimed for a while that Cook should pack in ODI cricket, meant with his line that if Cook had missed the tour it would be good or bad that he’d be here. Undertones of the good servant reek through this piece, and I’m inclined to believe that Selfey believes Cook perished through his own good intentions rather than any masterplan. Well, there was no masterplan. Cook was dropped because his presence was not tenable. He wasn’t making runs. He wasn’t scoring fluently. He looked miles off the pace. He was losing ODIs as captain. He was the story. If he’d missed this series and gone straight to the Tri-Series and cocked up there, the fury would have dwarfed the level it reached in Sri Lanka – and that was hot enough. The story of the whole tour would have been Cook, even if he hadn’t been there.

The comments section on the below thread have remarked on Fred’s comment. In case it gets modded, I have copied it here.

That’s it, I’m done. I’ve officially passed the point where I think the shallow and xenophobic cricket press in Australia is worse than English cricket writing. English journalists use longer sentences and more adjectives, but stripped of that it comes to the same thing. Bollocks. 
The above sentence is just breathtaking in its delusion. If only Cook hadn’t played, he’d still be selected now for the team? What a fool he was to walk on to the cricket field! There was no problem at all with Cook, just that he chose to play the wrong series, but of course did it for noble reasons. 
“Such is fate”: he could have been leading England to glory now if he hadn’t come unstuck in Sri Lanka?
He used it as a “team bonding session”? A seven match ODI series against Sri Lanka, the country that just beat them at home? A fucking bonding session? 
By way of comparison, every Australian who speaks about playing cricket for Australia has awe in his voice when he talks about playing for his country. Doesn’t matter who, where, when or what, it’s playing cricket at the highest level, for their country, and they all jump at the chance, and they want to win. They’re not there to bond. 
This sentence, and the editorial tone of Guardian cricket, indicates the malaise of English cricket.

Here’s another one not giving Selfey the benefit of any doubt. I don’t blame him. Not in the slightest.

On another paper our old favourite, the nomination for Cricket Journo of the year pocketed, has been having his say on Eoin Morgan not singing the national anthem:

The anthem issue is a contentious one because it throws up the whole dynamic of national identity, which is more complicated in cricket than most sports. Morgan is not the first nor the last international sportsman who has chosen not to sing (Darren Sammy was the only player to sing Rally Round the West Indies before the match against South Africa) but it has been noted in Morgan’s case because is a Dubliner now at the helm of the England side.

‘It’s pretty simple,’ said Morgan. ‘I have never sung the National Anthem whether I’ve been playing for Ireland or England. It doesn’t make me any less proud to be an English cricketer.

‘I am extremely proud to be in the position I’m in and privileged to be captain of a World Cup side. It’s a long story but it’s a personal thing.’

Morgan chose not to tell that long story which is a shame because it leaves him open to conjecture as to why he will not exercise his vocal cords.

It’s because he’s Irish, Paul. We’re not stupid. If we’re going to have a pop at people for not singing the anthem, then watch our football team. They don’t have a dual nationality issue to offer as a reason. Maybe we should focus on those born and raised on these shores for their “failure to show enough national pride”.

But the bottom line is that it is his choice and it is better surely to be true to yourself rather than, as some dual nationals in England’s recent history have, belted out the anthem for effect.

Or you could just have a go at Kevin Pietersen.

Finally, I couldn’t let go of the little nugget in George Dobell’s article on the proposed changes to English cricket.

Other suggested changes includes a rebranding of the ECB – the current brand is seen as toxic – as Cricket England & Wales.

Because this will change all of our views.

Mr Toxic Brand
Mr Toxic Brand

Unless Paul Downton and Giles Clarke are excommunicated then you could call it Late For Dinner and you aren’t going to fool any of us. It is an insult to all of us who pay such close attention to what is going on that you could actually imagine this being something that would calm us. How about doing your jobs properly, apologising for your stupidity and adopt a real new approach and we will be accommodating. Having a coronation for a Chief Exec, shunting the bete noire upstairs where he can dip his snout in the trough, and keeping the disaster that is Downton isn’t the way.

Killing Puritans

LordCanisLupus18 Comments

Ah yes. Always going to throw in an Armand van Helden reference where I can. If you thought not, well, you don’t even know me.

But the main reason for invoking the above album name is because of George Dobell. Those of you who have not listened to his podcast with Peter Miller, aka The Cricket Geek, should. End of. Those of you who think the “campaign” I’ve run here and on my previous incarnation, and that The Full Toss has been on too, is one based on bile and rancour need to listen to it. You have to. Choose not to believe George when he mentions when the ECB deliberately leaked misinformation on an individual, and instead believe Selfey with his “anal about leaks” comment. Choose not to believe George when he said that individual items on the dodgy dossier were leaked to journalists, and that when the full document became public property the ECB tried to sue, and instead believe the mainstream media who believe their work is good journalism rather than the beneficiary of crumbs from the table from above.

This podcast has so much to recommend it. Readers of the previous incarnation will not be surprised at my “bigging up” of George Dobell, and also Peter does a superb job of keeping the fires burning. The podcast leaves you wanting more, almost as if you’d just like to go down the pub with the bloke and get the lowdown as he sees it. There is definitely a “I know a lot of what is going on, but can’t tell you” but the fact is, he lets you know a lot more than the ECB line.

The podcast is also good on the current England set-up. From Dobell’s standpoint it is clear to him that Andy Flower remains a key influence in the England firmament. There is some even more damning stuff around the fall of the Flower Empire, which I’ve not seen or heard in such graphic detail, and the story arounf Boyd Rankin, for instance, really needs to be examined if he was told to play with what was a pretty bad shoulder injury. Flower seems to be the sort of bloke Downton is in awe of, and this is worrying. Dobell clearly initmates that it is Flower pulling many of the strings. Maybe, just maybe, we are getting some clarity on the KP exile that the ECB don’t want to admit.

I’ve got a bit of sympathy for the Moores stuff. As you know, I’m not one who wants to plunge the knife into him, but it is inescapable that this team set the 2015 World Cup as a goal, and the preparation was farcical, the late switch of plans a hint of indecision and the current performances are lamentable. Moores is going to be in the firing line, big time, if this doesn’t turn around. The narrative, set by a friendly media last summer, was that he had created a good environment, and that young talent was thriving under him. People ignored the dodgy start against Sri Lanka, leaped on the turnaround of the India series, and put the late season ODI collapse down to end of season blues. Moores had a friendly press after their initial scepticism.

Moores, as Dobell says, doesn’t do himself any favours in press conferences. He does always seem a decent bloke trying his best to me, and if that sounds slightly patronising it isn’t meant to be. Moores was handed a horrible bed of nails to lie on, and he’s starting to show the marks. The latest interviews seem to indicate that the plans are right but the execution is at fault. Fair enough, but the players look shit scared when they go out there. The problem, and I know it is extraordinarily simplistic, is that our lot go out there as if this is a job of work. Many of us who do jobs don’t love what we do, and hence we don’t perform to our best. Some respond to the threat of the Sword of Damocles, and others retrench and play it safe. How many of this lot actually look like they are enjoying playing the game out there? I felt a little bit of that once we turned it around against India, but it needs the team to grasp the nettle before we get into winning positions. Given what we’ve been told about the regime that ended in Australia last winter, it seems fun was well down the agenda. Was it really true that players were asked not to celebrate birthdays because it could disrupt the team? This is sport, not a war. It’s meant to be enjoyable, not a torture. I perform better when I’m enjoying it, not when it is a matter of fear. I have been told of players snapping at journalists for daring to suggest there may be alternatives to them in the team, as if some believe they have a right not to be questioned. They may be a likeable bunch, according to George, but that message isn’t getting through here.

There are so many nuggets in that podcast, that I urge you all to listen to it. So, before this evening’s entertainment, let me leave you with a quote from Nick Hoult’s article…

Michael Vaughan, Paul Collingwood, Cook and now Morgan all found run making difficult while Moores was the head coach. The only one who did not struggle was Pietersen, partly because his tenure was brief, and he probably did not listen to Moores anyway.

But, never forget, KP was the problem. The real problem. The thing that needed to be dealt with.

My thanks to Mr Miller and Mr Dobell. Do it again soon.

On other parish news, here is where a friend of mine has been recently and mailed to me today…

Galle

Definitely Not A World Cup Preview

LordCanisLupus15 Comments

This is the pattern folks. You lot get to comment all day (or at least until I get a mobile data package, or a wi-fi internet worth a light in the daytime) and I get to write something in the evening. Or if I’m really keen I might do something first thing. It also means that Simon or Arron get to break the world exclusives…

And by that I mean Derek Pringle, getting to tell us the story of how he had Javed Miandad stone dead AGAIN, in the Daily Mail. Now I know that one of their other main writers has a bit of a job on to get our favourite Yellow Book in on time, so there was/is a vacancy at the Mail for all the games our main man Newman can’t cover. So they’ve got Derek in to do his thing, we hope. Indeed, I pray…. This is like Christmas to me. Imagine, I thought I’d never get to fisk an article ever again with his brilliant prose in full effect, but not only might he be back, he might be forming an amazing double act with everyone’s favourite leak repository. This can’t get any better.

Yes, I saw Selfey doing what he does – that wonderful “I’ve heard this rumour” and then admonishing those who think this is pure gossip stirring into the bargain. Arron nicked my line – now Australia can experience what we have been for the last year or so.

B9qXUojIAAA7991

Give me strength. The ECB’s media campaign, which Tickers is going to town on, has this sort of effluent on my feed. It’s absolutely mind-boggling awful. In this one, Ian Bell pretends to catch Paul Newman out of a burning building for leaking that story about his managerial skills, while two other stooges laugh about “Cook’s strutting jawline”. Or some other old tossery.

Nick Knight gives us the insight we know we need…

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/cricket/cricket-world-cup-2015-if-england-are-to-shine-at-the-world-cup-they-must-start-winning-the-key-moments-in-games–nick-knight-10039665.html

Because losing the key moments is a major strategic plus.

By now England know they can compete against the best sides in the world but what remains uncertain is whether they have yet learned to do it when it really matters. It is a problem of which unfortunately I have first-hand knowledge, for it afflicted the England one-day side I played in. You would look around the dressing room and see all these world-class players, yet when it came to big global tournaments we hardly competed. We did not win regularly enough to engender a winning spirit and although it’s sad to say so, did not really understand how to win. The loss to Australia in Port Elizabeth in 2003 is a perfect example. It was match England were winning, should have won, yet lost.

Because Knight is a one-day guru.

As always, I’ll remind you to fill in your competition entries before the teams are named for tomorrow’s opening game.

Keep the comments coming. At last, some proper cricket to look forward to.

Phoney Baloney

LordCanisLupus16 Comments

It’s been a tedious couple of days. We’ve got Steve James in the Telegraph bemoaning the format of this World Cup tournament, when they can’t actually come up with a decent format of their own (and no, the everyone plays each other route isn’t the answer either – as I’ve said in a previous post. It has major flaws). The Rugby World Cup has similar mismatches and no-one wibbles on about that, but James isn’t going to go down that avenue. We play a few weeks on end, and then get to a QF stage which has only been livened up because Group A was constructed by evil beings (two out of Australia, Wales and England – didn’t two of these three make the SFs last time around, or is my memory that crap?). Oh, I don’t know. It seems fashionable to knock it. Maybe Journos and TV comms people don’t want the horror of an all-expenses paid month and a half’s work watching a great sport in some great locations. Yeah. walk a mile in my shoes and moan about that!

Talking of moans, Bob Willis has dropped the disruptive dressing room line, and the Delhi Daredevil failure trump on Kevin Pietersen. Hands up, I like Willis as a pundit – I know I’m in a minority – but come on sir, this is pure laziness. What KP has done to put people’s backs really up is the muppet line about county cricketers. Because he’s more blunt than the likes of Atherton and in his own day, Willis, about it, and uses an insulting term, he’s the devil incarnate. Please spare me the hypocrisy. Once the vast majority of established test players make the international circuit, they treat county cricket with contempt. Don’t pretend KP is the first one to say it. Stop playing the man, and play the ball. But they can’t, because deep down, he’s saying what they think. It’s much easier to scream “look at him” than address why we can’t have a competition to rival the Big Bash, or to come up with any other ideas.

A reminder to all to complete the World Cup competition. 30 questions, points to be earned, abighead to be crowned at the end. Come on, have a go, it won’t hurt.

For the World Cup I intend having a game thread for as many games as possible. I hope to do a bit of statto work, and also some comment at the no doubt stupidity of some of the comms and the press. We’ve seen it today, with Mitchell Johnson, who really gives off the impression of not being present with all lights functioning, reacting angrily to some phoney baloney stuff from Mr #stayhumble. I can’t be arsed. Life is too short.

There’s not a lot to add really. I’m a little more calm after the events of last weekend, and the dismantling of past works, but still not confident enough to say why and how. I did like Zephirine’s attempt a joining the dots on TFT. In fact, one of my main worries was that the baseball player who I named the character after, and is the face in the pictures, might one day sue for using his image for commercial gain (no, made no money out of it). It was meant as respect and admiration (although one of the pics was his police mug shot) for a man I saw in Vermont trying to get back to the top. He hasn’t. Good try.

Here’s a number for you. 1. The number of players for England who have made a century in a winning cause while chasing a total in World Cup history. Name him.

Little Acorns….

LordCanisLupus12 Comments

It’s quite interesting to start from fresh. Although it isn’t really starting from fresh, as it is more a case of getting people over here from the old place without being too obvious about it.

Today’s online cricket debate seems to be revolving around the World Cup format, and whether the Associate nations are an invigorating presence or a total waste of everyone’s time. I can’t say I have a view really, because this is what it is, and it is symptomatic of modern sport. Money and bigger deals get the attention now, not the good of the sport. I could write a book on it. How the Champions League has made 4th place in the Premier League the holy grail, and not winning trophies. How the Premier League is a recipe for disaster for all but about 8-10 teams, and how possibly the worst thing that could happen to Bournemouth for its long-term future is to get promoted. How the Ashes is now so commercialised, and so frequent are the meetings between the two teams (going to go a couple of years between the test series, lets bung in an ODI series instead) that it is rapidly devaluing the sport. Then there’s golf selling its last crown jewel for £3m more to Sky, and thus cutting off mainstream coverage. The Cricket World Cup isn’t really seen as the pinnacle in this country, India will only give a toss if they win it (and give not a toss if, by a miracle, they were eliminated) and it seems only the Southern Hemisphere countries really have a shout. Meanwhile West Indies cricket withers on the vine, Bangladesh remain stillborn in their progress and as for Zimbabwe? Who the hell knows?

Arguing about the format of the World Cup, where TV insists on x number of India games, and rigging the draw to make sure one of them is against Pakistan, is like banging your head against a brick wall. At some point, you will feel pain. This format isn’t perfect, but probably, like democracy, it’s better than the alternatives. The format in 2019 will be lauded by the pundits, but to see what it could be like, look at how some of the T20 groups in our own Blast play out. A team could lose its first two games and be out of contention, and then they just give up. They may sneak a win in game 3 or 4, when they’ll still be fighting, but come the last round of matches, teams may be playing teams on the plane home who put up a huge fight against others earlier on. Unless all the last five matches are played at the same time to avoid some collusion, or giving someone the advantage of knowing their fate before they play, it’s ripe for all the problems we don’t want to see (see fixed matches). Imagine India needing a win in the final game to proceed to the semis, but results beforehand have seen, say, West Indies eliminated. You get my drift….

Developing the Associates so they compete with the big boys consistently is to include them in the big boys playing schedule. By that, I mean regular games, but even then there are no guarantees. You only have to see how massive European football powers whinge and moan about their £100k a week plus players have to traipse off for World Cup Qualifiers around the world, or their home-grown stars might have to shin up in some dark and dingy Eastern European stadium (their prejudice, not mine), or play some minnow that should really be forced to “pre-qualify” to see how sport is going. So what’s the point in kicking up on this? I probably need to read Peter Miller and Tim Wigmore’s book to get the rage fully injected.

Other things that caught my eye included the death of Richard Austin, a West Indian cricketer who went on the 1982-3 rebel tour. There was an excellent article on him in Cricinfo a few years ago. Many will not have sympathy for a man who took the dreaded Apartheid purse, and the scorn and anger his presence elicited in the Caribbean. But he paid for it. I am slightly too young to remember him, and also our days pre-Sky had no international coverage, but all that saw him said he was a talent. He was also a talent that had no chance of unseating a top order for the WIndies cemented in place. Greenidge, Haynes, Gomes, Richards, Lloyd, Dujon (and with Richie Richardson not far behind). A chance to earn money at the elite level would have turned many a head, and the torture behind the decision, only he will know. But he’s not the only one.  Herbert Chang doesn’t look to be long in following. David Murray too.

Vitushan exhorts us with a Twitter cry of rationality:

Fine. But we all know that this team doing well cements the Dowtons of this world in place. There are few players in this team I don’t have time for and wish well – I might struggle a bit with Broad and Anderson, and if Bell is one of those senior players mentioned by Downton in the last interview, he’s going on the sh*tlist too – but I genuinely want to see Root, Buttler and Moeen do well with the bat, and Finn get back to his best with the ball, while any success Woakes and Tredwell have is a real boost to the country stalwart, improving incrementally with experience. Those of us who work hard at our jobs, not blessed by outrageous talent or confidence, can relate to these sort of chaps. I’m genuinely conflicted.

Other articles that caught my eye, include the latest from Gideon Haigh, a great piece from my old, and probably first supporter proper (other than Angus from Hong Kong) at the previous place, and Osman Samiuddin’s “Wish I Weren’t Here” piece on the World Cup everyone hates.

For those of you who have made it over here, and judging by the hits, that’s not many of you, welcome. Starting from a low base is daunting, but I hope we’ll have some fun here.