Ashes Panel #003 – Starc Ballanced Poetry, Give Johnny A Bell

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We have four entries in, so as usual, I will stick this up. I am awaiting Dennis Does Cricket, who volunteered, but he’s obviously incredibly busy with his site and has covered some of the ground already.

So, without further ado, let me introduce our esteemed panel. First up is Rooto, who is a regular here with a base in the South of France. Then we have Sean B, another loyal follower on here and on Twitter. We have our own Bogfather, who has responded in his own inimitable way, and finally, the blogger of all things West Indian, David Oram (AKA Col Blimp and Roland Butcher’s Hook). A great panel to match the two already, and they were put the usual five questions.

1. Australia appear to have lost Ryan Harris for the first two tests at least, and Mitchell Johnson thus far isn’t pulling up any trees? Has your confidence in England risen or fallen with this news?
Rooto – My confidence in England couldn’t fall, it could only rise. It’s perhaps important to state that first up, as it colours all that follows! This news only provokes the smallest, slightest quiver on the needle, however. Johnson could get a hot streak tomorrow and ride it till September. Now that Harris officially isn’t playing, it only renders concrete what was already being rumoured – that he wasn’t going to be picked anyway, because they have enough bowlers faster, fitter and (in Hazlewood) as tight as he. The reason we all like Ryan-o is that he isn’t quite so dangerously Aussie. Harris was the connoisseur’s fast bowler, or at least that’s what observers like Mike Selvey would have us believe. That’s great, and I don’t wish to speak ill of the retired, but I think the Aussie team runs on bloodlust rather than fine appreciation. The Aussies will play 2, maybe 3 Mitches and they’ll be full of confidence whoever puts on the annoyingly ubiquitous cap.
Sean B – Not really, i still think they have a very strong fast bowling unit in Hazelwood, Starc and Johnson, although i think Gary Ballance will be mightily relieved that Harris is not playing, his lack of foot movement would have made him a sitting duck for Harris to get him LBW. I watched the Aussies in the West Indies and Starc was the real danger man, he can swing it both ways at pace and is particularly strong  at bowling to left handers, so it will be a real test for our top 3 and could largely decide who wins the series.
David O – Risen enormously! Luck plays a huge part in sport. Of course we want to compete with and beat the best – but if they are hors de combat, well then so be it! It’s no use crying over spilt milk, but nothing wrong at grinning like a Cheshire Cat when Glenn McGrath trips over a cricket ball. Harris was a fine cricketer – but his moment in time has now passed. We shall see whether the same is the case with Mitchell Johnson. Is he past his sell by date? Or is this his majestic swansong? Much has been made of the age of the Aussies. Are they over the hill? Maybe. It is fine line between players passing their peak, and being ‘past it’. Similarly teams. Recently I made this comparison of the age factors which defined England’s two recent Ashes whitewashes:

The 2006/07 series was characterised by a bunch of old blokes (Australia) who knew they had ‘one last job’ in them and, after the 2005 Ashes result, were determined to prove a point.
The 2013/14 series was characterised by a bunch of old blokes (England) who hoped they had ‘one last job’ in them, and after the 2013 Ashes result, were self-deluded enough to think they had nothing left to prove.
Australia are great on paper. As an Englishman, I hope they crumple and fold.
England are looking fresher. And in years to come we may look back as this being the defining breakthrough series for players who have promise, and may realise it.
The Bogfather: The formatting might go astray here….
Oh, No Harris
To embarrass

Our batsmen..

With Mitch J

On the spray

We’ll relax then…?

Yet the future is still Starc

As Hazelwood hits the mark

And Siddle can still riddle them…

Yet, I still expect

Each Mitch to click and collect

The openers and three

Bell too, intimidatingly quickly

Feeding on weaknesses known

As runs dry up amid ‘outside’ groans

Leaving 4 through to 8

To get us out of a state

Which won’t always occur

So forgive me if I demur

From taking the positives…

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2. England have chosen two spinners in the squad. Is it for show, or would they ever contemplate playing two in the same team?
Rooto – They’ll only play Rashid if the backroom staff have burnt the DVD of Cardiff 2009. It’s amazing that memories of that match have brought us this far, but so few writers (BTL is different) remember how ineffectual Monty and Swann were on that pitch. This pitch could, of course, be different. In which case why are the press talking about 2009? Either it’s as slow and low as before, and 2 spinners won’t help, or it’ll behave differently, in which case the parallels are unhelpful. On a different note, Bayliss may have ideas about Rashid’s greater mystery, and his ability to turn it the other way from Root, but Cook will be in his ear with different ideas based around familiarity and poor net-bowling in the Windies. My feeling is based purely on cynicism, but I don’t think they’ll play both this summer. If Rashid gets a game it’ll be because Ali has been suffering. I hope that doesn’t happen, though not because I don’t rate Rashid – I do, as much as I can without seeing him play much. Firstly, it’s because Ali seems like a good guy, and secondly as I have sub-zero confidence that Cook will be able to nurture, guide and help Rashid through his test debut. If the Aussies get after Ali in the first two tests, I want Cook to be played a video, on permanent loop, of Morgan putting his arm round Rashid and giving him the last over in that ODI at Trent Bridge.
Sean B Absolutely for show – i think there is more chance of seeing Lord Lucan riding Red Rum down Queen Street than England playing 2 spinners at Cardiff. They had the perfect opportunity to play to 2 spinners at that bunsen in Barbados and still only ended up playing 1, so if they didn’t do it there, they won’t do it at all. I also don’t see who they would drop to accommodate 2 spinners – it would be madness to drop Stokes, but that would be my gut feeling on who would get the chop if they did.
David O – Yes they might. All-rounder Stokes is a credible third seamer, and if the came across a ‘raging bunsen’ England have the option of playing two spinners and still having enough seam options in a five-man attack. But it’s unlikely. I think we all expect them to start with Moeen, and turn to Rashid if we go a Test or two down. Personally, I wish we’d be bold enough to pick Moeen as a batsman, and Rashid as a bowler – though you could almost switch that around. My own England team would have 6 bowlers –

1. Cook
2. Lyth
3. Root
4. Barstow
5. Moeen Ali
6. Stokes
7. Buttler
8. Rashid
9. Broad
10. Anderson
11. Wood
The Bogfather

For sure it’s for show at the Mo’

Cookie won’t want to be Adil-do

By not having a clue how to win

By placing fields for twin spin.

If England wanted to show fight

They’d let Buttler bat higher and delight

Bring in Bairstow to keep up close

He’s more used to Rashid’s mixed dose

And Jonny’s in hot form with the bat

So what would be wrong with that?

If that means dropping Ballance or Bell

Then so be it, what the hell!

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3. You are the last panel before the start of the series. You can give me a score if you want, but who do you pick to watch for each team as the key performer (one of you I know the answer from….)
Rooto – I’ll repeat my bold claim of 0-4. It’s hard to judge the weather forecast for Nottingham, Cardiff, London and Birmingham when I’m sat in sweltering Mediterranean heat (sorry to mention it), but in this mindset I can’t see Anderson thriving. Too dry and flat. This leaves England’s key player as Broad. He’s not going to be dropped in a panic as others might, and he just might swing a game for us (see question 5). My other answer is Cook, perhaps repeating other people’s responses. So much will trickle down from his performance. For Australia, we know what we’re getting with the bowlers, and with the quality batting that Clarke and Smith bring, so the crux for them, the known unknown perhaps, is Warner. He tees off successfully enough times, and our neck is feeling the hobnails again.
Sean B – For me, there are a number of people who could be key performers on both sides (Anderson, Stokes, Warner, Smith) but i would go for Root for England and Lyon for Australia (expecting some abuse with the latter choice). I think Root will need to play the same way as Ian Bell did in the 2013 Ashes series and score a mountain of runs for us to have a chance. I can see the Australian attack making early inroads into our batting order and with our late order batsmen sometimes flattering to deceive (they’ll either put on an extra 150 or fall over for 30) i think we are very reliant on Root. I have chosen Lyon because i think he is a vastly underrated bowler and I think spin could play a big part in the series. Lyon quietly goes about his business but he has the ability to either tie down an end or to be an attacking wicket taker. Whilst not a big turner of the ball, he varies his pace well and is a wily bowler (whilst the plaudits for the debacle down under should rightly going to Mitchell Johnson, Lyon took his fair share of wickets that series as well and i think he is even better now). If you offered me an English ‘Nathan Lyon’ i would snap your hand off, i just don’t think Moeen is quite good enough.
David O -I’m backing my ‘Youth over Experience’ narrative for the series and England to win 3-1, possibly coming from behind – but definitely having the best of the luck and the weather. Little things we’ve mentioned lately in passing,but not focused upon, may have a bearing e.g. Australia’s behavior. If Haddin etc are as foul as they were in the World Cup I think the officials (consciously/unconsciously) will lean in England’s direction and we may be at the better end of those key border-line decisions and DRS reviews. This is nothing but a hunch. But a think a moment has been reached when the authorities have grown tired of their histrionics and may be less accommodating to them.

Key performers:
For Australia Mitchell Starc. And Pat Cummins. One-eyed joy at the retirement of Ryan Harris is tempered with the call up of Cummins. I first saw him and Starc during the 2012 World T20 tournament, and I thought ‘shit – these two will blow us away in next year’s Ashes (2013)’. Of course we didn’t see that happen – but my premonition may still come to pass.
The batting form of Smith, Warner and Clarke is also crucial. Is Smith the real deal, or a shooting star. Is he phenomenal or a phenomena? Likewise Warner. And is Clarke still great, or is this his last Test series? Is the decline of his back, and form, terminal?
For England Root and Stokes. Are these blokes good cricketers, or great cricketers? Ashes series decide these things. Root is going to overtake Alastair Cooks run scoring record about 15 years from now. He’s bound to have at least one 700+ victorious Ashes series. I’m hoping this is the first. Stokes has likewise got a Botham 1981 or Freddie 2005 in him. Is this their time?
Equally, several senior England players need to set their career record straight – further failures for Cook, Bell, Broad and Anderson could see all of them put out to pasture if England get stuffed. If they have a big part of an England victory, we’ll collectively gloss over 2013/14 (as we did 2006/07) and acclaim them as England ‘greats’ (though I do fear we may get thumped and wave farewell to them all as England ‘goods’).
The Bogfather:

2-0 after three

To the Aussies it’ll be

Then our leader is replaced

by the young and fresh faced

Joe Root…

He’s held our batting together so far

Already lauded as a global superstar

He’ll take up the challenge with gusto

Watching him grow is a must…Oh…

Here he comes on a Wood-en horse

Leading us to win the last two of course

So a 2-2 draw, no Ashes regained

A flight of fancy? Must pull in my reins!

Opening morning of Ashes is dawning

MSM bow down with such fawning

As Cookie awaits the first ball to face

He prods forward, a buzz, a nick, at pace

An appeal, hushed silence. Hark!

Here cometh, Mitchell Starc…

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4. Jonny Bairstow is in incredible form both in ODI and county cricket. Will he replace Bell or Ballance before the series is out?
Rooto – I hope so. The sooner the better. We need to ride the wave of his form. It would be very old-school England to pick him as it crashes onto the beach. If I was trying to convince Trevor Bayliss, I’d talk about Bairstow as an essential extra member of the squad; of the importance of having a squad of regulars, from whom the most in-form are picked, especially as it’s a tightly-packed back-to-back series; and therefore of the need to tell Ballance that he’s merely being rotated for a short while.
Sean B – They won’t drop Bell full stop unless he is injured (whether we agree that’s right is up for debate, but that’s just the fact of the matter). Ballance has looked in incredibly poor touch and is most at risk, his footwork has been non-existent and has looked like he has been trying to play french cricket for the past 6 months, which is a real shame as he was a revelation last summer. Bairstow is the next cab off the rank (and more worringly the only cab off the rank), so if Ballance has a poor couple of tests, then i can see Bell moving up to 3, Root at 4 and Bairstow at 5. If we get a couple of injuries to the batting line then i would be seriously worried, as i don’t think Lees is ready, Hales still needs to work on his 4 day game and Vince isn’t good enough. I like the look of Varun Chopra, but that is just a personal opinion.
David O – Yes without question.  Bairstow is in wonderful form and ought to be in the side at this minute. I’m totally unconvinced by Ballance – and was when he was scoring runs for fun. But I hope I am wrong.
The Bogfather:

I think I covered this in Q2

And that is what I think they should do

But knowing how clever our selectors are

They’ll wait ’til the Aussies lead by two bar

and Jonny will then be so out of form

So they’ll pick him, isn’t that the norm?

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5. Finally, give me a favourite Ashes memory that isn’t 2005 or Botham’s Ashes for the English respondents….
Rooto – Broad, Durham 2013. I thought we were going to lose that one. Also, I was able to watch it abroad on a legal, not-for-UK youtube stream. I think that was officially the last good thing the ECB ever did for fans.
Sean B – As i’m banned from saying 2005 (I pulled so many sickies at work that series to watch the cricket), then i would say the Melbourne and Sydney test in 2010/11. I have always dreamed of watching an England team travel to Australia and then completely crush and dominate the hosts (unlike the normal spineless demises of past and present). This was a demolition job, an absolute embarrassing pounding from both ball and bat and it was wonderful. To see the normally chipper hosts (I was watching the coverage in Malaysia at the time on channel 9) be an embarrassed and meek shell of themselves was extremely fun to watch. I don’t think i’ll ever see an Australian team rolled over by an innings, 2 matches in a row, at home again and i revelled in it. I also really liked and connected with the England team back then as well – The Swann sprinkler, Chris Tremlett (who i had a bit of a man crush on in that series), KP, Trotty, Bresnan, it was just a great and likeable team and we played some wonderful cricket in that series.
David O – 3rd Day at Edgbaston 1985. I was 16. My Dad and I and some of his friends went up for the 5th Test, for the first three days, series level at one-all. After 2 rain-effected days Australia were 330-8. When we got up my Dad looked at me with shock and horror. One of those awful looks parents give teenagers, and we just want to say ‘fuck off!’ I said, “what?” “Look in the mirror”. I did. I was covered in spots. I felt fine – but that was it, we were heading home. When he rang home my Mum revealed that my brother had come down with German measles. Ah.

We drove home to London listening to the cricket. England took both the final wickets in the day’s first over, and despite Gooch going for 19, Gower and Robinson creamed the Aussies all day in glorious sunshine, adding 331 for the 2nd wicket. By the close we were ahead with plenty of wickets in hand, and in a position to boss the match. I’d missed one of England’s great days of Aussie bashing. My Dad had got home in time to pick up his Spurs season ticket and head off to White Hart Lane. First day of the season, Tottenham unveiling new signings Chris Waddle and Paul Allen. They won a spanking 4-2. No wonder he made such a quick decision that morning without protest.
I got through my German measles. I didn’t get to see Ellison’s decisive series-winning spell on the Monday evening live on TV – the BBC had left the cricket when the extra hour took play into their normal evening scheduling – but I can confirm that despite my incapacity, I saw clearly and distinctly Gower take a clean catch off a Wayne Phillips cut via Allan Lamb’s boot on the Tuesday afternoon. It was nowhere near the ground. Obviously. Ever.
The Bogfather:

Not an Ashes memory, but my first Eng v Aus experience. As a bit of background, my initiation to Test cricket came in ’76, watching Greenidge, Richards, Roberts, Holding et al on the box, as well as Hampshire at the United Services ground, Portsmouth. Then, in March ’77 came this…

I lay awake in pure excitement

Radio tight to my ear

Awaiting the Centenary Test

from Melbourne, near midnight here

My first exposure to radio commentary

And from 12000 miles away

Determined to stay awake

E’en tho’ I had school the next day

Sound kept low so as not to wake

Anyone else in the house tonight

Crackling lines and Aussie tones unknown

Yet still Arlott was there to delight

What a first day

Australia blown away

McCosker felled, as seagulls stood in a line

Lever and Willis, Old and Underwood

Only Greg Chappell briefly withstood

This was more than mere dreams, so sublime

Then England were shattered

Lillee and Walker battered

All out for less than a ton

Greig top scored with eighteen

I remember him yorked, it seems

Leaving Willis, not out, one

Second innings commencing

No more tepid batting or fencing

Aussies building, Hookes imperious

Marsh, a century fightingly serious

McCosker jaw-strapped

Aussies cheered and clapped

The score mounted, 463 to win

Surely impossible, imagine Lillee’s grin

Early wickets fall

Brearley grinds and nicks

Then Randall fidgets and refuses to fall

Except for a back-roll after a Lillee ball

He doffs his cap as the bowler glares

Passes 150, supported by Amiss’s share

And Greig, then Knott edge us past 400

Until Knott, LBW, Lillee’s 11th wicket plundered

So near yet so far, and an amazing final stat

45 runs the final difference,as was 100 years before that…

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Well, that was different. The panels will be mixed up now, and it’s not to late to get on one by the way. You have our e-mails and twitter feeds, so on certain days we might get you to comment on the days play or some big issues. Thanks thus far, and we’ll certainly reconvene at the end of the 1st test…..

Ashes Panel #002 – Cook, Smith, KP and Memories

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Mainly decent reactions thus far to the first Ashes panel, so the pressure is on for me to keep up the questions. I’m sorry, but I lapsed with question 5, and one of my respondents wrote a wonderful piece on it which I will produce at the end.

So, we have, in no particular order for this panel, Andy In Brum, a legendary Twitter presence and lover of our press @AndyinBrum; Mr Steven Melford, another Twitter follower and occasional poster @drmelf; Keen retweeter and technician extraordinaire, @pgpchappers , better known as Philip Chapman (usually the first to retweet my posts), and cricketjon, who posts here quite regularly and has stood up to the task. I’m waiting on one more, and if they get back to me, I’ll add it on.

The rules are four out of five of you respond, I put it up, and the next batch of questions will be out to the third round of panelists towards the end of the week.

Reminder – Ashes Panel #001 can be found here – with PaulE’s new answers added in!

So, here are the questions and the responses…

1. Many are saying we are riding a crest of a wave after the ODI series. Do you feel it out there? Does it compare to 2005?
Andy – No, the ODI side is so different in personnel, attitude & captaincy that they’re completely separate. Also the 2005 ODI series was against the Aussies, this one wasn’t, so I’m not sure how it’s relevant. Also 2005 came off a fantastic 2004 & winter tour against South Africa. This time we’ve had a fucking awful start to 2014, an ok middle & a fuck awful end, we’ve only managed to draw with NZ this year. 2005 had a pack of excellent quicks, good batting & a captain who knew their players, trusted them & knew how to win games.
DrMelf – When you’re on holiday at the seaside for a fortnight, and it’s been pissing down for 13 days, a small break in the clouds will always be exciting. The ODI series showed what we are capable of and it was great for fans. However, I am worried there are too many ‘old guard’ in the test team to embrace a new mentality.  I hope Bayliss & Farbrace can push the guys to rediscover their fire. Compared to 2005?  It feels like the enemy is ourself as much as it’s Australia. If we are two down after the first couple of tests I expect big changes.

PCTo be honest no it doesn’t compare to 2005. We haven’t just beaten SA and the Windies away and the team is nothing like as established. We are also not playing against one of the greatest ever teams. My view is that the England team now doesn’t have the strength of personality of the 2005 team and as a mentally weaker team are more likely to mirror the opposition behaviour than have the ability to set the tone themselves. With that in mind I don’t think it in anyway compares to 05, personally. The fantastic New Zealand attitude rubbed off on this England team in the one day series especially and, if that continues, then wonderful we are in for a treat. Not likely though. Also remember we were outplayed in the second test.

 
However we are in a hugely different places to where we were after the world cup so that is good news. If we have a big start in Cardiff then it might be interesting – although I think the Balmy Army may have to sing Land of my Fathers rather than Jerusalem to start the day. Realistically, I don’t think we have enough to beat the Australians.
 
Looking back to ’05 the other key difference is that hardly anyone will be able to watch it, the kids will be worrying about their teams football transfers and they won’t know or care who Ben Stokes is as it isn’t on free tv or covered that well by the mainstream channels. That is a bit more bah humbug than it was meant to be!

Cricketjon – I do not think this is like 2005 at all. Back then we hadn’t played them since the difficult winter of 2002/3 and the team had moved on considerably in the period between 2002/3 and 2005. We had, at least, experienced a Sydney Test which was the first one without Warne and McGrath in several years and won due to some quality batting from Vaughan in the third inns of the match and a swansong from Caddick on a dying pitch. in the 2.5 years that followed, the captain had changed and a fit, available and increasingly experienced bowling line up had grouped together with much success.  Dare I say it, KP had added some venom to a reasonable batting line up.

In that era there wasn’t a lot between the composition of the ODI team and the Test team. The ODIs were an appetiser to the main event and quite a good one although the cynically scheduled NatWest Challenge served to fill the pockets of the peeps in charge ( a sign of things to come?) On this occasion, the make up of the teams is different as is the captain though we had to burn some fuel for such separation to take place. The 2015 World Cup was the crystallisation of the chaos that ensued before and in a similar way to 1996 we have new thinking in Planet ODI ( observe inclusion of Neil Smith as pinch hitter at 3 against India in seaming conditions in May 1996 as a knee jerk reaction to Jayasariya and Kalithawana in dry conditions two months earlier). The recent announced ICC regulations will reset the dial and provides another opportunity for England to assess how to play to those regulations notwithstanding that applies to all other teams as well.
In short there may be some carry over of “intent”, “euphoria” and “bonding” but there’s no credible way of arguing otherwise that the teams and captain differ greatly. If England do play well ( and they might) it is less likely to be down to the warm gloss painted by the ODI players no matter what is reported afterwards. Little is reported of what Dermot Reeve advised them in his one day assignment but the hell for leather performance cannot be entirely coincidental. The rewiring spoke of is of a different nature for Tests.
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2. Alastair Cook is seen as a key man for England, and he does appear back to some good form. How do you think he’ll go in this series?
Andy – Batting wise I’ve no idea, hopefully well, he’s looked like he remembers how to hold the bat, is still & scored runs, last year he didn’t. Captaincy wise, a burning paper bag full of dog shit could do better.
Dr.Melf – There’s no question that Cook(y) is looking better with the bat than any time in the last two years. We need his runs, so I hope he does well. However, Australia will clearly target both his batting and his captaincy. If they get to him and he personally starts the series badly? I think he will be a huge liability. As an individual he has strength but I think he lacks the aggression we need to bag this series.

PCI believe he has already agreed to step down after the summer if the team looses, so won’t be under any personal pressure to succeed as captain. That will be to his benefit. His form is good. His technique is looking stronger than it has for ages so he is in a good place. His hip alignment is much better, hence his impact, really good to see, but I have no idea why it has taken so long to sort.

With Harris looking unlikely to start the first game and him being a good player of the quick stuff, he should do well, an attack of Johnson, Starc and Hazelwood may not be as intimidating as Harris, Siddle and Johnson at their peaks, as it was in Aus last time. Cook (and the rest of the batsmen) will certainly benefit from not having the accuracy of Siddle and Harris thundering in at him. Cook’s Ashes record is mixed and it is time for that to change.
Cricketjon It is instructive he is in good form and telling that he had to venture outside of the bubble to make the changes to his game. The Australians will target him and have a better chance of frustrating him than the West Indies or New Zealand. Australia’s availability of a quality first change bowler will be the reason. How he overcomes that is both a matter for him and a matter of fortitude. His record is excellent against average attacks and less so against the quality attacks so much rests on him setting a precedent. All this with the pressures of captaincy. We shall know even more about him come the end of August than we do now and yet we have learned much in the last 18 months.
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3. Stuart Broad has been clear in thinking that Steve Smith at number three might be a vulnerability. Do you think he is right?
Andy – Yes, get to him early with a swinging ball of course he’ll be vulnerable. Not that I have anyfaith that broad or Jimmy will pitch it up in the stumps to get any swing.
Dr.Melf – This has been a big problem position for Australia in recent times. On paper you’d agree with Broad(y) which is why England historically would never make this gamble. But Smith looks a like the kind of guy who loves proving people wrong, so I think he’ll rise to the occasion. He will be helped if Warner has a great series.

PCNo.

I think Smith’s technique is fine and we don’t play on uncovered wickets any more, we play on low, slow roads. His form is not a fluke it is a sustained period of excellence. Smith will score runs. If Rogers and Warner get a few starts it will be very messy for England. To be honest I would move Root to 3 to relieve Ballance of the pressure and to get his impetus into the top order, which would be a similar move to Smith batting at 3. But not many agree with me on that!!
Cricketjon – The media have pages and screens to fill and rent a quote Broad isn’t going to deviate too far from his tape on a loop monosyllabic responses. Number 3 is clearly more challenging than lower down the order and Warner may give him cause to test his skills early on. He looks like someone to me for whom (from an ugly stance) everything comes together perfectly at the split second it needs to. I do not know whether Broad is right or not but sides do have this habit of sending in their best player into a difficult position. To answer the point a different way, I wouldn’t want us sending Root in at 3 this summer, the burden is on Australia to demonstrate why they think this benefits the endgame at the expense of every other option.
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4. If you’ve been reading the blog, we’ve been walking down memory lane. Give me an Ashes memory….
Andy – Sunday, day 4 of the Oval test 2005, Oz in a strong position with both openers getting tons. Freddy & Hoggard with a fantastic spell to get the last 9 wickets for under a hundred. That spell was as vital in saving the test as KP’S fire works the next day. Plus the Aussie players all wearing sunglasses to pretend it was really bright & all the England fans putting umbrellas up to pretend it was raining. Now that’s banter. Oh and meeting twatto in 2009, a really nice man to random fans.
Dr.Melf – Lunch at my grandparents in 1981 (aged nine). My dad and my grandad cheering as Bob Willis(y) scythed through the Aussies at Headingley. I walked in after his fourth wicket to ask “what’s going on?” My dad replied “something absolutely amazing”.  The oven was turned down and the roast was eaten late. #Hooked (#skatingonthinice – ed.)
PCSydney 2003. England bat first. It is my first Ashes test live and Lee opens the bowling with absolute thunderbolts. The Australian team is without Warne and McGrath, but Gillespie, Lee, Bichel and McGill was more than useful attack to a beleaguered England team! Vaughan was out early nicking off to a ball I can confidently say no other batsman on the planet at that time would have got within a foot of. Butcher walked out at three and batted astonishingly. He ground out a 100 when he could have been out at any time. Hussein got a pair of 70’s and Alex Stewart made runs In the Aussie innings there was the hugely emotional Steve Waugh last ball of the day 100, then we had Vaughan’s match winning second innings 180. An unbelievable innings. Followed up by Caddick’s last appearance for England by bowling out the Aussies. (should get you to write an Ashes Memory on that. ed.)
Oh and Harmison struggled to hit cut strip…
 
A brilliant 5 days and a brilliant holiday!
 
We had lost the ashes, but I was unbeaten in my part of that tour!
Cricketjon – Ashes memory. Hmmm. Sitting inside a damp rented house as a 12 year old with my mother watching ( on free-to-air)  Botham’s 118 at Manchester in 1981. When he was dismissed, the number 3, Tavare ( batting to orders because he was a dasher in the county game) was on 69 not out! My memory is of how dark it was that afternoon both in Birmingham where I watched it and at Old Trafford. For those who see those shots on the recordings now and think ” yeah ok, he was good but so what?” they need to realise that people didn’t play like that in those days. He truly was exceptional. It is fair to say that having top edged Lillee twice into the Old Warwick Road end he was millimetres from an Andy Roberts ball in the mouth repeat. He had no fear and he brightened up a very dark day and dismal rioting Britain ( sorry – don’t do royal weddings).
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5. Let’s go for it. If he were selected, which won’t happen, how do you think Kevin Pietersen would have done?
Andy – If he was fit, a few infuriating 20’s or 30’s & probably a big fuckyou score & a vitally important wicket. But no thanks or appreciation.
Dr. Melf – Kevin loves a good script. Particularly when he’s the romantic lead. He is fit, playing well with a point to prove. I genuinely think he would have “mullered them” this series. I also think it’s a shame that a sport in desperate need of some exciting stories has been denied a fantastic narrative.
PC – The short version….
In short, 3 or 4 50’s and an epic, match winning 100 at some point. Because that is what he does. Also a crass interview with Jonathan Agnew about playing for the team, great to see Rooty batting so well and wanting to get 10,000 test runs. The jumpers aren’t mentioned.

Cricketjon – He would have done ok. A 300 in division two doesn’t make him a genius nor indeed was he disengaged in Sydney ( well no more so than anyone else in the team and that is the critical point, no-one else was demonised for it ). This isn’t about KP anymore because the ECB always continue to supply us with new material but there is no doubt they could have handled the matter  better ( I suppose aplomb is a bit much to ask). His absence means that Root can take over with only a slightly soiled sheet of paper when the time comes as distinct from the reams of pungent toilet roll currently wrapped around Cooks pristine whites. Root can take it forward without the legacy issues, as far as I am concerned, let Cook deal with the legacy of KPgate since he was undoubtedly involved in the shenanigans. What goes around comes around, it’s just a shame for the paying fan.

What I strongly object to is the rewriting of history that ECBTV propagates. The absence of KP in the Billy Joel remix flies in the face of what would have been a 2-2 drawn series in 2005. Lest we forget.
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So, many thanks to those who participated. I think this is working thus far, and would love to keep this going as best we can. I’ve always wanted to get you lot writing stuff, and so far, so good. And my god, have we got an ecelctic mix for the third set of questions. We have a poet, an Aussie or two, and a couple of other regulars.
I mentioned Philip’s epic on KP as a long-form answer for number 5. Instead of a separate post, I’ve added it below. Enjoy or wail, your decision.
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Here is PC’s Long version of the KP question…
An alternative view of a hero/villain’s return [delete as appropriate]
 
After being frustrated by the Welsh rain the Australian team humbled the “new era” England team with a very aggressive brand of cricket at Lord’s. In fact England were really struggling with Bairstow already called up for Jos Buttler whose split webbing had got infected.
 
Gary Ballance at three had made a no impact in Cardiff and made a pair at Lord’s. As the selectors sat down to agree the squad for Edgbaston, a mysterious force comes in and hypnotises the selectors, including Jonathan Agnew who sits in on the meetings so he can tweet the decisions really time.
 
Somehow they agree to select a maverick former player to come back and “rescue” the team, in a selection that harked back to the days of Brian Close. Steven Davies another Surrey player was discussed, but it was felt he “wasn’t quite ready” no one was totally sure what that meant but Aggers assured them it would keep the journalists inside cricket happy and the sages would nod wisely.
 
When the announcement was made on Sky news the following day Shane Warne was interviewed saying “ow look, this is the best think that could have happened”
 
No one was sure what this meant either, but the Guardian cricket columnist suggested foul play. He then wrote a lengthy blog on the retrograde step and how Davies, an openly gay cricketer, was the future, in the “comment is free” section below the “line” there were accusations of click bait, but these were censored. Boycott mentioned something about rhubarb and his mum.
 
Fast forward to the morning of the third test. A fight had broken out in the dressing room, someone had already started kicking off about the new stash and a misspelt name. New hi tech Adidas woolly jumpers were thrown off the balcony and Afrikaans was heard outside the rooms. Paul Farbrace was laughing with Trevor Bayliss and ignoring the fracas. Peter Moores was interviewed about the jumpers and said they should talk later about them, but a lot of scientific stuff had gone into the design – especially so they would look great on kids from the right kind of family. There was absolutely no mention about data, I repeat no mention about the data, even for Sky. The BBC wrote another apology letter.
 
Meanwhile out in the middle Alistair Cook had elected to bat, said some form of waffle to Mark Nicholas about being delighted to have a world class player back in the dressing room and said Root at 3 KP at 4 and Bell back to 5.
 
Piers Morgan had self combusted in his private box and even his wife was said to be relieved. “there were three of us in a very crowded relationship” she was overheard saying by a Mirror correspondent.
 
Back in the middle Alistair Cook had started nicely, but lyth was out early from a snorter by a bowler called Mitchell. The tourists had named a 4 man Mitchell attack, with Lyon for support. Clarke said they had thought of playing Siddle, but he had refused to change his name to Mitchell so it didn’t happen.
 
Just before lunch with England on 69-1 The heroic skipper inside edged a full ball onto the stumps for 27 off 98 balls.
 
There was a hush around the ground.
Cook departed to polite applause, then the booing started. First it was the Aussies in the crowd, then the Yorkshire fans who felt Lees or Rashid should be playing not a past it, cast off Saffer with a didgy knee.
Finally a small portion of the crowd got to their feet and cheered, only to be removed from the ground by Andy Flower and Giles Clarke dressed as the ECB security guards.
 
First ball. The Aussies were on their toes, with a funky field of three midwickets and 4 slips.
 
The new batsman knocked the ball into the leg side and called for the “Redbull” run. Root responded and there was a cloud of dust as the ball broke the stumps as Root leapt for his ground.
 
It goes upstairs.
 
Fortunately Colin Graves had stepped into have a chat with the third umpire and the Yorkshire hero was adjudged to have made his ground.
 
In the sky commentary box Michael “Slats” Slater was incensed, letting out a strange wailing noise through his nose. David Gower was non-plused and Bumble was going nuts about his car and it not starting.  Nobody was watching anyway as the sky coverage had just been put up to £250 a month to pay for the football.
 
Back on the pitch Root and the South African born batsman made it unscathed to lunch.
 
“Honours even, my dear old things” said Blowers to his adoring fans whilst eating some cake in the TMS box.
 
After lunch Root started playing well and moved to a nice fifty with a cover drive. Ed Smith suggested he looked like Michael Vaughan in his pomp. At the other end, the 100 test veteran was strangely becalmed. The online ball by ball commentary suggested he was facing a more hostile environment than he received in his native South Africa for that memorable first ODI series there, after his failures in Zimbabwe.
 
40 mins after lunch there was a crack like a rifle shot which awakened the post lunch slumbering crowd. A split second later the ball was removed from an advertising board. The ECB marketing machine was furious with the batsman for damaging their sponsors logo, who had moved to 40 before anyone had really clocked what had happened. Not that the Waitrose chief executive minded – he was watching at Lords as Edgbaston was too far north for Waitrose.
 
Ruing the decision not to play a left arm spinner, Clarke (who had earlier pulled his hamstring setting a funky field) asked Warner to have a bowl and he promptly got into a fight with Joe Root, who was soon out hooking at Mitchell Johnson.
 
In strutted Ian Bell, showing he was up for the fight all collar popped and positive intent. He knew the Aussies were scared of him.
 
At the other end his partner at the crease raised his bat for a well-crafted and chance-less half century. Bayliss and Farbrace are on the balcony clapping whilst the Skipper doesn’t look up from his hymn book. Broad was too busy tweeting and Jimmy was in the match referee’s office still talking about Ravi Jadaja.
 
After tea it was like the apocalypse had arrived at Edgbaston. Clarke had set the field for a barrage of the short stuff for both Bell and the newly recalled batsman. While Bell bobbed and weaved, fearful that he might get out without playing enough trademark cover drives at the other end, as the Mitchell’s charged in the ball was deposited further and further into the stands.  
 
The crowd was going nuts now and as his 100 came up the ground stood to applaud the returning king – with many saying “he always was a player of great innings, I still don’t think he is a great player though”.
 
At the close of play, England are 331-3, Root with 67, Bell with 48not out and the other player with 158 not out. 
 
James Taylor was seen crying over at Trent Bridge as once again his county runs weren’t enough. 

Ashes Panel #001 – Sledging, Scheduling, Sentimentalism, Sky

Welcome to a new idea, which I hope will work. TLG and I will come up with five (could be more, could be less) questions and selected volunteers (and I might try some of the regulars who didn’t) will answer them. It’s a format blatantly copied from the Daily Mail, but with bilious inadequates rather than professional writers and broadcasters. I’m grateful for all volunteers.

I will wait for the first four responses, and it would be great if you could turn any answers around in 48 hours if you are requested (and let me know if you can’t as I have plenty of volunteers).

Let me introduce the panel for the first of these – we have stalwarts Keyser Chris (@keyserchris), our resident Yorkie, metatone, @EoinJPMorgan on Twitter (known as Hillel) and our reasonably infrequent, but very welcome to be here OscardeBosca. We are waiting on one more (our man in Finland) and will add his answers when they arrive. He did warn me of internet problems in advance. UPDATE – I’ve added PaulE’s comments, so all five are now here.

A second set of panel questions will be e-mailed tonight. TLG and I might even answer them ourselves.

As I say, I hope it works.

1. What do the Ashes mean to you?
KC – The Ashes for me started as a legend, specifically Beefy at Headingley. I was only 5 at the time so didn’t experience it, but as I grew up later watching what seemed like endless summers of TMS, Richie on the telly, Viv Richards, Windies bowling & Gatting/Gower/Gooch, it was always there in discussions. But it came alive for me with the Warne ball. I had never seen anything like it, and it was the portent of pain up until 2005. God, ’05 was GOOD! The Ashes is generally expected pain at the hands of a gritty Border or Waugh, with intermittent huge highs, 2010/11 particularly (I was at Adelaide in 2006 and 2010 – yin and yang indeed).
OdB – There is a lot to admire about Australians and their attitude to life and sport.  It’s why beating them at cricket is satisfying.  I was 9 in 1981 and didn’t really get cricket, 86/87 was when I have vivid memories of my dad telling me we’d won when I was waking up for school.  So then fast-forward to 2005 having got into cricket post 87 and I really, really wanted to beat the Aussies and 2004 showed me we had the team to do it.  I have loved the past 10 years even though it included two away whitewashes as we have beaten the Aussies at home.  For me it should be the epitome of test cricket and it is the one team I want to beat.  Hayden epitomises the Australian cricketer i want to beat (and potentially see cry 😀) not enough of the current lot have an element of Hayden about them (Warner excepted) which is unfortunate.  I like some of them (such as Harris and Lyon) and I feel dirty saying it.
Metatone – When I was young, the big Test was the West Indies. Greenidge and Haynes, Richards, Marshall, Ambrose and Patterson all stick in my mind. And (biographical alert!) my Dad is Indian, so India and Pakistan loomed large. When you get down to it, the Ashes were just another series at first. There was a mythology about Botham and 1981, but I was only 6 at the time. Then came 1989… The Ashes became a ritual reminder of how low England cricket had sunk. There’s an irony that in some ways I didn’t really notice how good the Aussies were (the new dominant team across the world) because I knew how bad we were. 2005 was a joy not just because of victory, but because we’d turned a corner, we were no longer inept.
Hillel – Like most English fans, my interest in cricket was sparked by the Ashes. Specifically, my epiphany came in 2009 when I wandered off from the physical exertion of tennis camp (don’t ask) to find solace in the wicket-taking antics of Stuart Broad. In fact, I even managed to maintain from 2009 to 2011 that I was a cricket fan who “only followed the Ashes”, before I too was eventually sucked in to the spiralling vortex of hipster cricket, attending county out-ground fixtures and desperately refreshing live scorecards of affiliate T20 games. To me, the Ashes are not simply another Test series but a cultural outpost which England and Australia share. The competition is as old as modern cricket itself, and unrivalled by any perhaps besides that of India/Pakistan. Whilst there remains a certain magic to the country becoming enchanted with the Ashes every couple of years, I am always reminded by the specialness of the contest when chancing upon a random Australian abroad, and without hesitation jumping into an in-depth Ashes discussion as if we’d been buddies for years.
PE – The Ashes means different things at different times. It means of course, victory and defeat, and gloating rights. It means heroic narratives; Botham and Brearley, Bob Willis and Graham Dilley, David Gower in the sunshine and Allan Border kicking back. But most of all it means 2005 and a nation briefly at peace with itself: positive, comfortable and progressive, it felt like the nation and the cricket team were as one, ready to embrace the future. Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, But to be (relatively) young was very heaven! Sadly it wasn’t to last, and England as a nation and a cricket team hasn’t been as likeable since.
 
2. We all agree (say if you don’t) that three series in two years is overkill, but do you think this is damaging the brand that is the Ashes?
KC I had no problem with back to back series, the one-off idea really excited me & separating it from the WC is still essentially good. And there is precedent. This series though is the one I don’t like, blatant filler even pre-ICC stitch up. Should stick to its cycle from now on. Not optimistic though…
OdB – the ashes test series should be the epitome of test cricket, but there has been too much if it.  It now feels that Eng v SA or Eng v Pakistan is now a more important/interesting series, and that is due to its scarcity.  The ECB has milked this goose.  I went to Edgbaston to watch the Ashes in 2001 and my ticket was £28 for the Eric Hollies stand.  The same ticket for 2015 has cost me £81, now I may be wrong but I don’t remember 9-10% inflation over the past 14 years.  The lack of free to air coverage and the rising costs mean that whilst I will continue to go and watch test cricket in England, it will be an older and older audience watching and the younger audiences won’t be interested in the game.
Metatone – It’s not all the scheduling (the ECB has done plenty else to put those “outside cricket” off) but I’m basically bored of playing Australia. I’m much more looking forward to the SA and Pakistan series. Of course, a close series could reignite some enthusiasm. Part of the problem has been that since 2009 things have been rather lop-sided. Still, familiarity has left me jaded and yes, the media hoopla around the Ashes now rings hollow. I don’t think the damage is permanent, if we get back to a proper schedule – but right now it is hard to get excited.
Hillel – People tend to forget the enormous benefit of playing the Ashes with such frequency, inasmuch as it allows a narrative to be constructed. Usually the length of time between one Test series and another is so long that it virtually disconnects the two from each other. The beauty of the Ashes being played every two years is that we can remember the last and the anguish or triumph it brought. All of the vendettas, the rivalries, and the storylines that surround individual players exist because the Ashes are played so often. We would not have witnessed the complete evolution of Ricky Ponting, Michael Clarke or Mitchell Johnson if the Ashes were played more sporadically. It is also worth pointing out the majority of the British public only witness the Ashes every four years, for it is only the diehards who are prepared to risk the cycle of poverty initiated by being caught napping at work. Whilst the last few years have brought us more exposure to the Aussies than is recommended in a lifetime, normal service of England’s most popular cricket competition will resume, bringing the Ashes frequently enough to be brilliant, and yet infrequently enough to avoid devaluing the contest.
PE – Not the ‘b’ word again! Yes and no. The real damage was done in 2013 when the venal ECB and it’s draconian coach demanded far too much of the players. All the reports say that the England camp was in a good place until around 2011. The ECB and Andy Flower damaged England’s ‘brand’ more than any Ashes series.
 
3. Do you think the media are making too much of this sledging issue? Do you see it as a psychological ploy to get under the skin of the Aussies?
KC – I’m not sure. Aussies sledging is not news. England it seems we’re worse than I thought at it, hadn’t realised how bad their rep was. Agnew using the Hughes speech against Clarke was contemptible though. Ultimately it’s mostly boorish, but adds some theatre to a series. Though I reserve the right to poke endless fun at Shane Watson.
OdB – It will backfire.  The Aussies don’t give a shit what others think of how they conduct themselves, and Agnew sermonising to Clarke about Hughes is not something I want to hear.  I don’t care about sledging, it goes on, it works for some and not for others.  What I don’t like to see is the moralising that goes on after, especially regarding the ‘spirit’ of cricket.  The ridiculous nonsense regarding whether to walk or not (don’t, the Aussies don’t (when in Rome dear boy)) that became the meme of the last home series, it would appear that until the series start and proper incidents occur, the MSM Ashes preview meme is player behaviour.  When you are paid to write you need something to occupy your pen.
Metatone – Yes, it’s typical media froth. It’s not against the Laws of the game, so the Aussies will continue the way they always do. (I lived for a while in Perth, WA – and if you think they’ll do anything other than play up to the very limit of the laws, you’re a fool.) If it is an ECB ploy, it’s an inept one. (Tautology alert?) If anything it helps build the AU siege mentality. Worth noting that their fast bowlers will be looking to hurt the batsmen – and I’m sure there will be plenty of verbals. The way to respond is to get ahead on the scoreboard. The verbals always start to look silly then.
Hillel It is generally impossible to understand the workings of the British media, and this case is no exception. The tour of an exceptionally pleasant New Zealand team have left the media banging a ridiculous drum of worthless stupidity requesting that the Australians replicate the behaviour of their neighbours, naturally forgetting that such a cause makes no sense whatsoever. Whilst New Zealand are simply an international team with no cause for us to hate, the Ashes brings genuine competition between England and Australia. When an Aussie sledges an Englishman (or South African for that matter), it represents the wider rivalry between the two nations. In my mind, one hasn’t understood the purpose of the Ashes if they don’t want to throttle an Aussie by the time it’s all over. If this is a psychological ploy to irk our Australian cousins, it is a horrifically awful one. Rather than splashing our complaints all over the back pages, we should think about sledging the Aussies back: Meet fire with fire.
PE – Yes, and yes. We know how the ECB and their lapdogs in the mainstream media operate. File under cant and hypocrisy, next to smear and Operation Pietersen. Vic Marks did a wonderful job of lampooning his fellow scribes, Darren Lehmann, proved himself a wily operator today. No-one’s fooled by media spin anymore, are they? (Don’t feel the need to answer).
 
4. I’m not a fan of Sky’s coverage of cricket, but I’m a notorious curmudgeon. What do you think of it?
KC Technically, Sky’s coverage is superb, near-flawless. Most of the commentators are really good value (Holding, Nasser & Atherton especially) bar the likes of Knight & Strauss. It’s nowhere near as sycophantic as Channel 9, but you do have to listen with a pinch of salt at times (Botham…). Declaration speculation in particular is crap – play the time left in the game, not the weather. Sorry, bit of a personal bugbear that!
OdB – Channel 4 went to racing regularly and unless you had satellite or cable you missed cricket.  The BBC were similar.  Sky’s coverage is at very least committed to covering it properly.  The problem is the commentary team is hit or miss, for every Atherton there is nick Knight (anodyne),Botham (awful) and Warne (best taken in small doses).  However the smugness of Lovejoy and ficjam (Ed ‘fucking’ Smith) make TMS unlistenable at times (although I do like Boycott, Alison Mitchell, and Charlie Dagnall).
Metatone -Commentary teams are a matter of taste, I don’t mind most of Sky’s collection overall, but it rarely thrills me. Some of that is the passage of time – we lost Ritchie Benaud and it makes a big difference. Technically, it’s good camera work – but you can look at the highlights from 2005 and it’s obvious that it’s not actually that much better than the Channel 4 coverage. (I’ll note as a former professional with sport photography that some of the recent NZ series camerawork was below par.) Sky’s defenders always invoke BBC coverage from days gone by (we had some good youtube of 1971 Boycott in a comment thread, you can see the very big technical limitations there) but compared with Channel 4 of 10 years ago, the improvements aren’t large. Key point, I don’t think the technical advances remotely make up for the fact that I now have to go to the gym or the pub to watch coverage.
Hillel With the exception of Nick Night, Shane Warne complete with endless anecdotes about strip clubs and golf courses (kill me now if the word mulligan is mentioned once during this Ashes), and just about all of their pundits, Sky actually do a rather decent job. They employ some rather excellent voices of reason, Mike Atherton chief among them, and whilst we take it for granted in the modern game, the picture quality and coverage is actually incredibly good. With the exception of the odd silly gimmick (what’s the point of the rev counter if every spinner from Xavier Doherty to Muttiah Muralitharan is going to be in the orange zone), the analytical supplications they provide are genuinely quite insightful. Although I do begrudge the concept of handing over the rights of all English cricket to such an expensive TV package such as Sky, that is no-one’s fault but the ECB, and Sky themselves must be commended on excellent coverage.
PE – Don’t get to see a great deal of it here in Finland, but, from what little I’ve seen it does seem to have embarked on a road marked ‘despair’. The cricket itself is good, the adverts and commentary less so. I’m more disappointed by TMS to be honest. It was a lifeline for many years, charming, eccentric but vaguely inclusive and often very funny indeed. I find it excruciating now, patronising, craven and humourless. Thank goodness for Geoffrey, one of the few credible voices in the game.
 
5. The question on all lips it seems is the transfer of the ODI attitude over to the test team? Is it important, and if yes, do you think it will happen?

KC If they can transfer it, yes, it could be very important. But Cook is the skipper, and I trust him with the team’s attitude even less than I would with a spinner, so it in short, no it won’t happen.

OdB – Yes, the ODI series in 2005 was important as the attitude shown then was crucial and it carried forward to the test series, however the test and ODI squads were very similar then.  Unfortunately I think it will be lost in translation.  Cook hasn’t the capacity to play in that fashion, and whilst he should be the perfect rock for the more attacking players to perform around (and I hope he plays like he did against NZ as he appeared back to his unhurried best, it may be slow, there may only be 3/4 scoring shots, but it is mightily effective).  My issue is that he is a reactive defensive captain.  He makes poor decisions on the field which appears to permeate into the team and then as more things go wrong the worse things get.  Our fielding during the ODI series was average (which is a vast improvement on the test side  who’s fielding has been mediocre at best (Jordan apart)). Is this the fault of poor captaincy and poor decisions leading to lower morale, more frustration, and ultimately sledging the opposition?  Einstein once said that madness was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  Since India away, England have been in control of a lot of games in winning positions and thrown them away, day 4 at headingley (pick a year either 2014 or 2015 will do).  Cook appears incapable of learning from his mistakes and I genuinely think his captaincy will be the difference between the two sides.  Their bowlers are good but these are our home conditions, and I think both batting lineups are potentially brittle.  As with most 5 match series there will be a number of key points, if Cook has an ordinary day we might win some, if he regresses to the mean we will lose those and subsequently the Ashes.

Metatone – Of course it is important. Vaughan said it before 2005 and he proved it on the field (as indeed other teams have) – Australia are out of their comfort zone when the opposition don’t back down. Test cricket is not just about skill, it’s a mental game too. Will it happen? Probably not. Cook is by nature a grinder. We have some batsmen who can do it differently (Root, Buttler, Stokes) but our bowling doesn’t look set up to attack.

Hillel – It wasn’t too long ago the media proclaimed the same should be applied in reverse, and that England should carry forward their momentum from the Test series victory against India to ODI’s, and onward to the World Cup. We all know how that turned out. Not only is it not important to carry over the ODI attitude to the Test team, it is vitally imperative not to. There is no intrinsic flaw in the conservative methods employed by our Test team, and the media banging on about how Cook must be as aggressive as the ODI team will put undue, unnecessary pressure on him. The problems which the English Test squad encounter are those of poor tactical decisions during the game (such as field settings) and inconsistent performances of batsmen and bowlers, not the attitude to Test cricket itself. Whilst some will point to the radical development of how Tests are played, as exhibited by New Zealand, it is worth remembering that England did win that Test series. The sooner international teams are able to divorce the longer and shorter formats from each other, the better they will perform in both.

PE – I’m delighted by the transformation undergone by the ODI team. Demonstrable evidence that those criticising the decisions of the last couple of years are right. It just goes to show what can be achieved by a group of players with the right captain and the right coach. It’s all about mentality. I’d be very surprised if the form is transferred: to paraphrase Bill Clinton ‘it’s the captain, stupid.’

So – there you have it. A number of voices, with some great points (they rate Sky a lot higher than me). Chew on it and think along. Because you might be next…..