For an Ashes Panel update, please go to the end of the post. This is my first take on the last Ashes test, but I do want to set up the Panel for a preview post for the Lord’s test which starts next Wednesday. Questions are at the end of this. Please do not answer them in the comments. Please. Now, on to my very long first thoughts……

There’s a lot less cricket coverage “free to air” these days. The Telegraph and Times are behind paywalls, and I can’t be bothered with the Mirror’s website because it acts as though it hates its customer. So the first three articles I read on yesterday’s debacle were from George Dobell on Cricinfo, Martin Samuel of the Mail (I hate my eyes and my brain) and Paul Newman of the same parish. Dobell critiques the results of yesterday as an inevitable consequence of the first class cricket strategy from the ECB over the past few years. That if you have desperate selections, desperation is probably the likeliest result. That if you pick a player for attacking intent, that when he attacks and gets out, you shouldn’t be that surprised. That Denly was a walking wicket because he knew he couldn’t defend Nathan Lyon. That this team isn’t made to save tests, they’ve given that aspect up. This is going down in flames or winning in a blaze of glory. There’s not been a drawn test for many years in England.

So while Dobell was as measured, but in his own way very damning of where England are now, let’s sample some of Samuel and Newman. For them, this was on Jason Roy.

Martin Samuel goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on….

Few minds scramble as fast as those of England batsmen under Antipodean pressure on day five. Any number of vignettes could represent how swiftly hopes of survival faded: Rory Burns losing his wicket with the score on 19; Joe Denly’s ludicrous review when the entire ground could have told him he’d hit it. Yet Jason Roy summed it up. Roy by doing exactly what his detractors suspected he would; Roy by conforming to stereotype; Roy by refusing to bend to the demands of the match.

Roy epitomised the reason there was so little hope for England, once it became obvious the weather wasn’t going to come to a flaky batting side’s rescue. He went, clean bowled by Lyon for 28, just at a point in the game when even those who had suspected his temperament as an opening Test batsman were beginning to remark on his discipline.

Yet Roy’s dismissal was desperate. He was not so much outwitted as undone, dancing down the wicket, needlessly looking to knock the spinner into the confectionary stand, and bowled through a gap of the type more usually reserved for delivery drivers.

It summed up an English malaise in these condition, the confusion of purpose and intent. Roy has been encouraged to play his normal, white-ball game. And that involves taking risks.

Yet those risks are calculated, shaped to the situation. Roy has to move the scoreboard along, yes. But that doesn’t mean he swings at the first ball of the day; or the next one; or the one after. He plays the game, as necessary, and Monday’s game demanded patience.

So to try what he did against Lyon was more than foolish. That he almost hesitated before breaching the dressing-room door after it had happened suggests he knew this, too. The argument is that Roy might one day win England a match playing in this manner, but that isn’t true. No batsman wins a game going completely against the demands of the situation. Even those who advocate aggression from the openers – and Trevor Bayliss, England’s coach, certainly does – appreciate the need to balance that with the state of play. Roy didn’t.

Those were paragraphs 2 and 3. Jason Roy. All Jason Roy’s fault. He “set the tone”. It was, as always, much worse getting out playing to score runs, to try to dominate, than it is to have your technique undressed. A man playing his second test plays a horrible shot, and it’s on him. A shot we all knew, deep down, Jason Roy was going to play. At some point. You lot wanted him, now you lot bury him? It’s fun watching this press and media corps, it really is.

And, yes, if England are going to put their faith in him in the ultimate form of the game they will have to put up with some overly positive shots and brain-fades made in the name of imposing himself on Test cricket.

But not this. Not such a reckless and headless slog that it offered Lyon the first of his six wickets in England’s woeful last day collapse not only on a plate but gift-wrapped and labelled ‘To Garry, with love from Jason.’

At that stage of this fifth day England had lost only Rory Burns and could still entertain realistic hopes of at least making Australia work hard for their victory on a ground where they had not won since the halcyon days of 2001.

Yet once Roy had departed, running off the pitch and away from the scene of his crime almost in embarrassment, an England team that appear to be struggling to recover from the mental and physical exertions of winning the World Cup, crashed spectacularly.

Be positive, be attacking, don’t get out. Jason Roy didn’t need to be told it wasn’t a good idea, but as always, if that wild slog had netted him a four, a six, or even a harmless squib out to leg, no-one would have remembered it. But it’s always worse getting out when trying to hit out, we know that. We also had a clue that Jason Roy wasn’t or isn’t a test opener, and he certainly isn’t when you need to get out of jail on a turning fifth day pitch, or to defend. It’s like picking Lionel Messi for your football team and sticking him at centre-back against a team who like to lump it high and long. If he gets caught dribbling it out of defence, or playing an ambitious pass, would you slate him? OK, Roy isn’t Messi, but it’s sort of the same thing. It’s the selection that’s the problem, not the player.

Meanwhile, Paul, the man you worshipped Ed Smith for selecting, Jos Buttler, had another horror game against Australia. He averages 12.8 against them. I know many said last time out that the Aussies played on his weaknesses, tying him down, making him take risky shots, but as much as I like Jos, he’s averaging in the mid 30s in his career, and he doesn’t look like a test batsman, as much as I really, really want him to be. You aren’t going to get Paul supporting that case when there’s a Jason Roy to berate. Instead, although Roy played in the World Cup and has no excuses, Bairstow, Buttler and Moeen (who didn’t play every game) are shot.

I don’t think we need to talk about Joe Denly. I said he looks to be a bloke who has turned up to an event, and no-one is quite sure why, and it would be rude to ask him to leave too early.  But if you don’t think he’s test class now, and you haven’t for the majority of his career, what’s the point. The England team is not supposed to be a supper club. Look at the county championship, look at who has made a persuasive case to be given a go, whether he has played Lions cricket or not, and do it. Give him five test matches if you must, you’ll have a good idea after three. (Rory Burns didn’t disgrace himself in Sri Lanka, played a decent knock in the Caribbean and scored a hundred on an iffy-ish pitch against a very decent attack here). Those men are Sam Northeast – 815 at 62.69 – and Dominic Sibley – 940 at 62.67. They may benefit from some nice surfaces, but they have played long innings and made good runs in the First Division. One of them is an opener, the other is a middle order bat. But, I suspect, that’s too vanilla for Ed Smith. It took them long enough to pick Burns, trying virtually everybody else, and then they have the gall to go straight to Smith on the cameras when Burns brought up his hundred as if the selection was a masterstroke.

Australia clearly have the best batsman on either side, but we knew that. Joe Root is much closer to the third best (arguably Warner) than he is to Smith at the moment, and we all know that. He is also incredibly hard to get out, and we know that too. However, talk of Bradman, talk of his immortality, of it being pointless trying to get him out, of just hoping he will make a mistake is folly. He can, and will fail. There are always ways to get him out, and many times he’ll make runs. I look back to the 2001 team, for instance, with a line-up of Hayden, Slater/Langer, Ponting, Mark Waugh, Damien Martyn, Steve Waugh, Adam Gilchrist. These are all players who averaged well over 40, some over 50, back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back. A murderer’s row. Imagine starting the day out against that lot. Here we have an opener who can hit form, a solid number 3 who finds ways to get out when going well (Khawaja must be so frustrating as an Aussie fan), a number five who is game, with potential, and Matthew Wade at six. Come on. Don’t be scared. If you give in, mentally concede ground, do you think that will work. Did the great Aussie sides see Sachin, or Lara, and especially Kallis, and say “no, we can’t get them out”. Smith is in blazing form, has been for ages, but he is human. We’re treating him, talking about him as if he is not.

I’m nearly 2000 words in (many of them the Mail’s) and yet I still can’t quite understand anyone in authority’s thinking. There’s so much wrong, that I can’t quite get to the point where we need to start. It’s a team full of muddled thinking, with a pretend genius at the helm. Merely speaking of prioritising red ball cricket isn’t enough. We have a coach looking at other job applications having met his main performance objective, and knowing he’s leaving. We have a guardian authority taking the plaudits for the World Cup and acting like messiahs, while ignoring the core support in England over the lack of red ball cricket in the summer months, the new franchise competition set to dominate the landscape during test season next year, and downgrading the format we are world champions in. It’s hard to think of a bigger muppet show. But Tom did his lap of honour with the media on Day One, and I doubt will be seen again this year if this goes even more pear-shaped.

This is a team put together by a mad scientist. It manages to be much less than the sum of its parts. It flogs its best players to exhaustion, then puts its hand up and says what else can we do? (How about scheduling three test tours the winter after this summer, that should work) It has a team with one opener, and a one day opener, a captain who doesn’t want to bat three, but then does. It has a number four who was picked to bat three, but was deemed not to be good enough there, so he can fail at four. Our number 5 can’t buy a score against Australia. Our number six is run into the ground bowling, but you suspect is the best of the bunch at the moment. The number seven is a wicket-keeper batsman who rails against the slightest thing that demotes his status, and as he’s not part of Phoenix, you know who will steam right in. The number eight is a spinner / batsman on a lousy trot, who needs to go back to county cricket to recover his form, only to have to return to the T20 Blast until September, by which it is too late. Our number nine, who had a good match, is a bad bowling spell away from being labelled benign, and yet doesn’t appear to be as exhausted as the batsmen, who, you know, don’t have to run steaming in 100 times a day. Our number 10 has probably had his one good spell, and one decent innings of the summer. And our number 11 turned up recovering from injury, got injured, is out injured for the next game, and probably the one after that, and yet we still believe in our medical staff.

I might have more on this later in the week.

Finally, I want some volunteers for an Ashes Panel* in the lead up to next week’s test. PLEASE DO NOT POST ANY ANSWERS TO THESE IN THE COMMENTS. Please e-mail dmitriold@hotmail.co.uk or any of the e-mail addresses in the “contact us” tab above with your answers. I will need to have them by close of play on Sunday.

1. A brief summary of the first test. Most importantly, they key moments England lost the game?
2. Jason Roy has copped a lot of stick for being Jason Roy. Your views on the selection of opener, and what would you do for this, and the next few tests?
3. Nathan Lyon was very very good on the fifth day. Great skill, or bad play?
4. Steve Smith is being portrayed as a run-making machine. A product of his environment, as test match cricket diminishes in quality, or a freak of nature, who would have thrived in any era?
5. Your England team for the second test. Your changes and why?

As I said PLEASE DO NOT POST ANY ANSWERS TO THESE IN THE COMMENTS. PLEASE. PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE.

*An example of an Ashes Panel post can be found here. I do it as a full blog post. The first five, presuming I get five, will be published, and possibly more. You know you want to….

I feel like I’ve left a lot to say on this previous test, so may be back later this week with some more comment. Any comments on this are welcome. The Ashes mean so much to so many that defeats leave an out of proportion sense of anger and despair many times. But this one feels bad. We were conditioned, at least some were, to expect a stuffing Down Under last time so that some journalists and pundits who should have known better allowed a free pass because the team wasn’t whitewashed. Now it’s the World Cup hangover as a reason / excuse. Didn’t stop £100 tickets being charged. Didn’t stop players raking in large salaries. Didn’t stop coaches staying on for one last hurrah/raspberry. Didn’t stop the ECB from shoehorning an Ashes after a World Cup, when having one before a World Cup was deemed as counter-productive to a successful campaign.

While Newman and Samuel pull their swords out and thrash at Jason Roy, George Dobell finishes his article with the words that should really resonate… less the grinding of axes, more the finesse of true swordsmanship.

But cracks are appearing up and down this England side and it feels, for perhaps the first time, as if instead of building toward something, they are starting to crumble and fall apart. Nothing that happened at Edgbaston was a surprise. And that should worry England.

Indeed. See you later.

I’ve been watching this game long enough to know when people are talking in hyperbolic tones. Nathan Lyon is a really, really decent test spin bowler. He has 343 test wickets at an average of 32. He has 14 five wicket hauls in 86 tests. None of them have come in England. None of them have come against England. A wicket has a little bit of turn, and suddenly this is akin to Murali at Galle. Nathan Lyon is a fine bowler who could well be the key tomorrow, but the way some press/media/TV are talking about him, you’d think this is Warne on a viper’s nest tomorrow.

The fact is that this is a pretty normal, old school fifth day wicket coming up, and England should bat out a draw. Australia showed there were few demons in the wicket. Moeen Ali was set up to take a ton of wickets, and he didn’t. Given he’s the whipping boy at the moment, the failure to do so is reason to pick someone else. Remember back in 2009, when on Day 4 Swann spun one through Ricky Ponting and knocked him over? The hyperbole went out, our great offie only had to turn up next day to make it 2-0, and yet, and yet. I don’t think he even took one on Day 5. There’s too much made in the media of having to be in front of the game, make a statement, build them up.

That little rant over with, and it’s the first and possibly last time the great Tight Fit will be lyric-checked in a title, let’s take the day’s play in context. Australia started effectively at 34 for 3. Smith, as I have called him in the pre-amble to Day 5 (to be posted at 9am tomorrow), is the Keyser Soze of batting. He has persuaded everyone that his unorthodox technique, his snake-like eye, his miraculous hand-eye co-ordination, has made him invincible. The bowlers believe it. They talk and act as though they can’t get him out. Smith makes them fear bowling to him – not in the way the Laras, Kohlis, Richards of this world did and getting pasted – but that there is no way through his armour. Commentators talk as if this is a superhuman at the other end. Sport is played largely in the head, and Smith is living rent-free in ours. He’s an amazing player, no doubt, but people are speaking as if we should just give up.

His interview at the end of play was fascinating. Ward was trying to get all technical, and trying to get Smith to admit how he views batting is a little complex, but he said “I know where the field is, and then I watch the ball”. It was genius and yet so simple. So Ward tried again. Smith shrugged. “Where do you think they want to bowl to you with this field” asked Ward. ” I don’t know…. I just watch the ball”. All that technical shit, and Smith was having none of it.

Smith had just become the fifth Australian to make a century in each innings of an Ashes test. The last was Matthew Hayden in 2002 – I was there – and the previous one in England was Steve Waugh at Old Trafford in 1997. Smith had burnished his legend. England looked scared from moment one. Smith would rotate the strike (Ward asked him if this was a key to his batting, and Smith basically said it didn’t really matter), never really tied down. This was exemplified by his attitude on 99. England gave all indications they were going to throw it out wide of off stump and hope Smith wore out of patience. After the first ball, Nasser, I think, said “they are going to make him wait.” Next ball, a wide ball outside off, and Smith just smacked it through the offside field. As easy as ABC. Rent free? England are paying him to stay in their heads.

I was out and about for large parts of today but I saw that. I saw Head look quite solid, and he is not to be underestimated. I missed most of Wade’s century, which looks the bargain bucket variety, but it’s one more Ashes hundred in England than Alastair Cook made (I know, I know…petty). The wheels fell off at the end, with Pattinson smacking England to all parts. England saw out the last 7 overs with few alarms – well Jim Maxwell did his best off the last ball to shit the life out of me while I was driving home – and go into tomorrow with 10 wickets in hand and a match to save. The last time England batted out a full day to save a test was Auckland 2013. It was that long ago. We used to be good at this, but not so much these days. I guess we might need rain.

The Ashes are special, and so the reactions are always augmented, but there are some really strange things going on. The strangest for me, honestly, is what is Joe Denly doing in this team. Is he really our best middle-order batsman who is not called Joe Root? I had an exchange with a journo today to say this dates back to Ed Smith being his team-mate and thinking him to have special qualities. He’s batting in our prime spot – number 4 – and yet no-one seems to care. He’s like the party guest who you think you all know, but can’t quite place, and you’re not sure who invited him. He bowls filthy spin, plays an occasional drive, and I don’t see anyone questioning his place. Not like they are people with track record, like Moeen, or complete rookies in test cricket like Roy. In fact there’s a case to say those two (Roy and Denly) should swap places and it would make more sense. But what must batsmen like Hildreth and Northeast be thinking? If only we bowled filthy legspin?

Today the commenters focused on Joe Root’s captaincy. Again, it’s noticeable that the rumblings aren’t against him. Woakes did not bowl before lunch, and we were told after play that he wasn’t injured. If that is the case, what the hell was he thinking? There wasn’t much in the way of positivity, up and at ’em body language, and instead there’s a hang-dog look and a resignation to fate. It’s one game, but this does not hold out hope.

So, we have a batsman inside our heads, are told to be frightened of a spinner who has taken four wickets in an innings twice in England, and lost both those matches, and with a batting line-up that gives the definition of disjointed, and just looks plain odd. Following England is rarely boring, often odd. It’s even more strange that this will be the sixth successive Ashes test to go to the fifth day. England face a really important day. It was said before today that only one side could afford an indifferent session. They didn’t mean England. In Steve Smith, the force is strong. Whether it’s strong enough to get a result tomorrow, then the Ashes are halfway back to Aussie (It has been pointed out that the Ashes already are with Australia – so let me correct. If England lose tomorrow, the outcome of the series is likely to be seriously skewed in favour of the visitors, who only need to draw the series to return home with the “Ashes”). England face a massively important test.

See you tomorrow.

It’s perhaps a measure of the nervousness that England cricket followers have concerning the Test match batting order that Australia’s total of 284 felt imposing.  Perhaps a reflection on the recovery that added 162 for the last two wickets was part of that too – Smith’s brilliance, and whatever controversy follows him it is brilliance, taking Australia from a parlous position to one of at least respectability.

But the batting fragility of both sides has been noted in the run up to the series, and with England collapsing in a heap on a regular basis in recent times, mildly facetious comments about first saving the follow on did the rounds, not without some basis in genuine concern.

Instead, today was a throwback to old fashioned Test cricket – attritional, gritty, rarely flashy, with the England top order grinding the Australian bowlers down, another art of Test cricket seemingly lost on these shores recently.  Rory Burns was undoubtedly the man of the day, batting throughout – the first England player to do so since Cook in Melbourne, and given the conditions, this was the better effort on the day.  He only really started looking in good form when he passed the century mark, his whole demeanour changing to one of a player entirely at home in his role.  As with the five previous openers since the retirement of Strauss to score Test hundreds (though Root is obviously a special case) one swallow doesn’t remotely make a summer, but it was pleasing to see how Burns battled himself, placed a high value on his wicket, and fought his way through to a well deserved ton.  Who knows, it may even catch on.

His principal support came from first Joe Root and then Ben Stokes, a player whose batting is beginning to hold the upper hand over his bowling.  Stokes has arguably the best, most natural technique in the England team; it is a simple one, with the bat coming down straight and him remaining still at the crease, but it is also why he seems generally comfortable facing the second new ball.  His career batting record remains no more than passable, which may be a reflection on his workload as much as anything else (all round cricketers split their focus generally slightly to the detriment of the individual discipline), but as he matures, it might start to improve significantly.  Few things are certain, but his technique looks one with little to go wrong, while the interrupted nature of his career appears to have given him extra motivation.

As for Root, it was another fifty and out, and judging by his reaction to his dismissal, he’s acutely conscious of his failure to convert half centuries into centuries.  Even so, the amount of handwringing that goes on over a player averaging a shade under 50 when he is surrounded by those struggling to get over 30 is remarkable.  It might be something that he’s frustrated by, but it’s not the biggest problem in England’s batting line up and hasn’t been for all the time it’s been going on.  The only person who can sort it out is him, it’s not an ability issue, but it is one that stands out in a side where runs are at a premium elsewhere.

Denly, Roy and Buttler were the wickets to fall cheaply, of whom Denly looked the most comfortable.  Getting out early is a fact of cricketing life, and not especially relevant in the context of a good England total, as long as these others make contributions in other innings.  And therein lies the challenge for what is undoubtedly a brittle batting order.

Apart from a period after Australia successfully got the ball changed – provoking outrage from those with incredibly selective memories who seemingly aren’t aware England do this all the time – the movement on offer to the bowlers was limited, as befitting how a day two pitch ought to play.  The exception to that was Nathan Lyon, who found significant spin off the surface suggesting the latter part of this Test could become tricky to bat on, and highlighting the importance of England’s first innings.  Australia’s seam attack is certainly a potent one, and at some point this series they are highly likely to rampage through England’s batting order.  The pleasure in today was the resolute way they were held at bay, even though they certainly bowled with threat.

267-4 represents a fine day for England, and with two set batsmen, albeit against a still new ball, plenty of power to add given England’s middle order.  Yet the nagging doubt remains that this is a side that could fall in a heap, in which case parity will hand a major advantage to Australia.  Two flawed teams, particularly in the batting, but against all the odds we have a highly promising Test match unfolding.  Perhaps it is that above all else that is causing this particular game to become something of a pleasure.

Day 2 at Edgbaston beckons after a fascinating opening day of the Ashes series. As I indicated in my introduction piece on Monday, I wasn’t feeling the vibe of the latest incarnation of the oldest series, but you know, Stuart Broad, England playing an unfit bowler who breaks down, England letting the opposition off the hook, Tom Harrison being interviewed, top quality umpiring, Tom Harrison being interviewed again, various Tweeters getting on my Tweets, and a day sifting job applications in between talking at length to lawyers who earn in an hour what I do in a week sort of raises the temperature. Man, that was a long sentence.

Panel Prep

So, to prepare those we are going to ask to be on our panel, we thought we’d give you a couple of questions to opine on before play:

1. 284 – good, bad or indifferent? Let’s ignore the eighth wicket going down at 122 (alright, don’t) but as play stands now is this a winning score for Australia?
2. Steve Smith – best test batsman at the moment, or is this bubble going to burst (or both)?
3. On a level of 1-10, with 1 being chilled, your reaction to your premier bowler getting injured after four overs, having been injured in the run-up to the test?

We won’t be able to live blog today – or if we do, it will be intermittent, but please keep checking in to see if we do provide updates. That said, it was great to see the in-play comments from you, and also thanks to Sean and Danny for all the efforts yesterday. We will try to live blog when the occasion merits it.

Boring Stat Watch

Steve Smith made the joint 99th highest score for Australia in meetings between the two countries. He joins former captains Don Bradman, Greg Chappell and Ricky Ponting in making 144 in Ashes tests. It was the 314th test hundred by an Australian against England.

Stuart Broad took the 254th five wicket plus haul in an innings for England against Australia. These were the joint 207th best figures for England v Australia (Broad has the best figures by anyone not called Laker, of course). Geoff Arnold took 5/86 at Sydney in 1975.

284 is the equal 500th highest score in England v Australia matches. On the five previous occasions the score has been made, the team making 284 has won twice. Australia in 1895, and memorably, England at the MCG in 1982. On the three other occasions, the team making 284 has lost (England at the MCG in 1921, Australia at Lord’s in 1934 – the only time 284 was made in the second innings of the test and England at The Oval in 1972).

In 1982, Australia replied to 284 with 287. In 1972, Australia replied to 284 with 399. In 1934, England had made 440 before Hedley Verity did his thing. In 1921 Australia followed 284 with 389. In the only other time Australia scored 284 in the first innings of the test match against England, we followed up with 65 and 72.

Too Many Tweeters

OK. Statwatch done. Let’s look at ConnWatch…

Measured.

Now for Shiny Toy…

Hyperbole Watch..

Four day tests

Birds of a feather

Did Selfey have anything to offer?

Blocked By Paul, Watching Paul

Paul Newman watch…

If there was any concern the Ashes might for once be forced to play second fiddle this summer to an extraordinary World Cup then we need not have worried.

This was a superb and eventful opening day to the biggest Test series of them all from the moment David Warner and Cameron Bancroft, two of the three members of ‘The Banned’, walked out to the most hostile of Edgbaston welcomes.

and…

There was a totally hapless display from umpires Joel Wilson and Aleem Dar that was only partially rescued by the Decision Review System and, frankly, was simply not good enough for the highest level of the game.

There was an atmosphere like no other at any English ground, with the Hollies Stand loudly but never too nastily taunting the disgraced Australians and their captain in Tim Paine who had goaded them on the eve of this always epic contest.

But, above all, there was the controversial figure of Steve Smith, the captain sacked in disgrace in the aftermath of sandpaper-gate, defiantly and brilliantly rescuing his side from the brink of disaster and inspiring them to what looks like a highly competitive score.

and he’s not letting up…

And at the centre of it was the man who haunted England during the last Ashes with his idiosyncratic but world-class batting before his world fell apart when the poisonous culture that had infected his captaincy unravelled spectacularly in Cape Town.

This was Smith’s first Test innings since that cheating scandal 18 months ago but how he made up for lost time with an exceptional 144, more than half their score, that puts Australia on top in this first Test and could well have set the tone for the whole series.

CHUMPIRES

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/cricket/article-7310845/Cricket-News-Fans-pundits-fume-umpires-make-SEVEN-errors-day-one-Ashes.html

Sadly, no Martin Samuel this time around.

Oh No, Not Him Again

Tom Harrison was on Sky and TMS this lunchtime, presumably because doing the rounds at a mere “warm up” against Ireland to bask in the glow of the World Cup victory wasn’t significant enough. I listened to it this lunchtime, well the TMS bit, and it was every bit as depressing as you would have thought. He did virtually everything he could to avoid mentioning the Hundred by name, but did mention Sky at every opportunity. There will be a massively enhanced partnership next year – I’m not sure what Sky will be doing to enhance it, more repeats of Masterclass? – and somehow in his haze of bigging up Sky, he said 13 million watched the World Cup and of all outlets Sky had the most. Can’t offend the chief partner. According to Tom we will be getting 100 hours of free to air cricket next year. If BBC have 10 matches of 3 hours duration and a couple of other games, where is the rest coming from? Someone tell me. There was more. Much more. But not much new. I saw Gower congratulate Harrison on the World Cup win. We are absolutely stupid. Partners indeed.

So, on to Day 2. Please fire away, please answer the day’s panel questions, please keep the fires burning. It’s going to be an interesting day. I leave you with this on the booing of the Sandpaper Gang..

I was at the Gabba that day. I heard Aussies around me tell him to stop being soft and get up, but then change their tune when he was stretchered off. However, I will never forget the weapons grade bell-end who spent almost the entire day calling Matthew Hoggard a wanker all day. The problem with us being sanctimonious about booing, pretending we’re a moral paragon, is that we’re not. Neither are England fans a bunch of scum, as those who tut tut in the comm box about this sort of thing make them out to be. Like everything, you pays your money, you takes your choice. I feel it is unwise for any ex-pro to criticise supporters on how they support the game.

Enough of that. Hope you enjoyed this mish mash. Comment away on Day 2.

 

 

So here we go then, the first day of the 2019 Ashes series is now upon us and time when all of the talking and all of build up is now in the past and only actions on the pitch actually matter. At least that what it would normally be during an Ashes series, as the build up to the one has been at best muted and worst non-existent. Now whether this is due to the recent World Cup tournament and the euphoria for England in actually winning a 50 ball tournament or the possibility there might be a bit of Ashes fatigue, especially with neither team being as strong a units as they have been previously, it has been noticeable how the build up to this series has been little more than a whimper.

Still here we are, with International Cricket’s biggest rivalry upon us and the players thrust into the limelight at what will be a vociferous crowd at Edgbaston, it remains to be seen what type of hangover either or both sides have after the World Cup. I am going to try and liveblog the action throughout the day, as it is the first day of the Ashes and the opening exchanges could be key to revealing what will happen for the rest of the series. It is just me on my own today and I do need to run a number of errands too, so don’t shout at me if I inadvertently miss any of the action. As a small reminder, we aren’t the BBC and don’t have the technology to refresh automatically, so please manually refresh for updates.

9:30am: England have pretty much gone with the team that most expected them to go with, even if many of us didn’t want them to go with. Jimmy Anderson comes in for Stone and Buttler and Stokes are back after resting for the Ireland Test Match. As for Australia, it looks like they have dropped Mitchell Starc from the team with the main battle appearing to be between Siddle and Hazelwood for the opening bowler slot.

10:15am: Despite the odd cloud, the pitch looks a belter and should be an easy choice to bat first if you win the toss. That being said, does Joe Root trust his opening batsmen not to make a horlicks of this should he win the toss.

10:30am: TOSS – Australia win the toss and choose to have a bat. Bit of a no brainer to be fair. Siddle plays in place of Hazelwood. England need to get the line and lengths right quickly on this pitch.

11:00am: Out come the ‘sandpaper siblings’ to bat. Sir Jimmy has the new ball and more importantly I am armed with a cup of tea. Here we go then..

11:04am: Decent opening over from Jimmy, even if the first couple of balls were on the short side. Maiden.

11:06am: Broad with a wide one going down leg. Bairstow appeals but no-one else seems to be interested but there appeared to be a noise. Oh hello, England should have listened to Bairstow there, ultra-edge shows a tickle behind from Warner. Lucky boy. Will England rue missing that opportunity.

11:13am: Decent opening spell this from the England bowlers. They have often been guilty of wasting the new ball by bowling too short, but they have been full and on the money so far.

11:15am: Broad bowls round the wicket and strikes Warners on the pads. Dar says not out, England review and the ball is missing the stumps by some way. Not a great review at all, seems like a retrospective review from Broad there.

11:19am: WICKET – Warner is the man to go. A far better delivering by Broad, pitched up and swinging. Looks plumb to me and Warner walks off without reviewing. A big big wicket for England there.

11:22am: Haha, Warner should have reviewed. Missing leg stump according to DRS. Sort of makes it even funnier.

11:31am: Couple of loose deliveries from Broad that over and a boundary each for Bancroft and Khawaja. A bit of pressure relieved for the Aussie batsmen.

11:34am: Shane Warne into the commentary box and TV sound is immediately muted. Another probing over from Jimmy who has got his line and lengths right this morning.

11:38am: WICKET – Got Im’. Bancroft pushes at a slightly wide one and edges straight to Root at slip, who pouches a relatively straightforward catch. The Aussies have lost both their openers for not many. Game on. In comes Steve Smith:

11:48am: Jeez, Broad is bowling well. There was some talk in the build up to the Ashes whether he might be the fall man in the English attack. I think this puts this to bed. Quick, hostile and on the money. Piggy Smith struggling.

12:00pm: Woakes hasn’t exactly looked threatening since he joined the attack. Not hitting the pitch hard and too many floaty deliveries. This is the criticism I have with Woakes at times.

12:02pm: Drinks. I’m off the make myself another cup of tea too. England’s morning so far, but could do with removing Khawaja or Piggy before lunch.

12:12pm: Woakes to Khawaja and Woakes thinks he has an outside edge. Root reviews, but that the looks speculative in my opinion.

12:13pm: WICKET: Well what do i know! There’s a tickle behind and England have got the Aussies 3 down this morning. Great review by England this time.

12:19pm: Stokes bowling his second over, but looks particularly rusty with the ball. This really is some dross from Stokes. I’d bring back Jimmy who has only bowled 4 overs so far and can test Head in particular, who can be a bit tentative playing forward early on in his innings.

12:30pm: England are slightly lucky that the umpires don’t particularly want to call a wide as there have been some perfect contenders in this spell. As for the umpires themselves, they have had hardly covered themselves in glory, especially Aleem Dar who used to be one of the best. Meanwhile a poor over from Woakes allows the Aussies to steal some easy runs.

12:36pm: This really is some poor bowling from Woakes and Stokes, both of whom have looked pretty innocuous. This really should be the time for England to exert pressure on the Aussie batting line up, but there are too many poor deliveries. Head hits another 4 off Stokes, who really should be told to have a breather..

12:39pm: Moeen into the attack now and he is taken for a couple of boundaries by Head. Meanwhile, there seems to be growing concern about Jimmy:

12:44pm: This has not been a good spell for England who are undoing all of the good work they did in the first hour. If indeed Jimmy A isn’t fit, someone from the England management team really needs to answer why they’ve risked him for the First Test.

12:52pm: Buffet bowling from England here. Stokes looks as bad as i’ve seen him bowl and there is virtually nothing in the pitch for Moeen. Not great signs.

12:54pm: Meanwhile, Beefy looks like he’s put on a fair bit of timber. No doubt enjoying his vineyards in France during his holiday…

12:58pm: Woakes bought back into the attack, but not much happening. Jimmy back on the field now, but still a huge concern. Can they fit in another over before lunch? Yes they can. Moeen to bowl.

13:03pm: LUNCH. Australia 84-3 off 27 overs (3 short). England without doubt had the best of the first hour but once the openers went off, England’s bowling has been poor. Australia will be quite relieved to head into the pavilion with that score after being 3 down for not many. The biggest concern for England is the fitness of Jimmy Anderson, who has bowled only 4 overs and been off the field for the majority of the session.

I’m also going to go out and find some lunch. Be back in 40 minutes or so.

If you’ll excuse my language. Why the Fucking Fuck have England picked a Fucking injured Jimmy Anderson for the Fucking First Test knowing this could endanger his participation in the rest of the series. Meanwhile there’s a puff piece Harrison interview on Sky if you feel like tearing your eyeballs out of their sockets.

13:40pm: What is with England’s medical team? Time and time again, they pick bowlers who are injured. If Jimmy has re-torn his calf muscle, then England are truly up the creak without a paddle. I’d rather have Dr. Death managing the players fitness. Stuart Broad to open up proceedings after lunch.

13:51pm: Yep of course it is. England’s medical team desperately trying to cover their asses here. Meanwhile, not too much is happening in the middle.

13:54pm: This pitch is starting to look very good for batting. Ball has stopped swinging and England’s attack starting to look a little innocuous. Great straight drive from Head goes for 4.

14:02pm: Broad keeping things tight, but Piggy Smith is starting to look in ominous form. Broad tries the ‘old ball has gotten out of shape’ trick but is quickly dismissed by Aleem Dar.

14:08pm: WICKET – Got Im’. Woakes with a straight ball wrapping Head on the pads. Head reviews but that is hitting off stump. England absolutely needed that.

14:12pm: Did that carry? Stokes is looking pensive. Nope an edge from Wade falls short. Suddenly England’s intensity is back again.

Meanwhile, Tom Harrison’s interview isn’t going down exactly well with English cricket fans:

https://twitter.com/Brit9er/status/1156911174904098816

14:15pm: Broad bowls at Piggy Smith and pins him on the back with no shot offered. Umpire’s fingers goes up but Smith reviews. Not out, missing off stump. Boooo

Meanwhile, it seems that Aggers was offering more loose half volleys to Harrison than even Nasser Hussain managed. They know who pays their wages…

14:20pm: WICKET. The umpires have got another one wrong. Woakes hits Wade’s pads in front of the wickets and then reviews after it is given not out. That was plumb. Australia 5 down now. What a change of fortunes for England this afternoon.

14:23pm: It may have been a mistake for these umpires to have taken advice from S.Ravi in hindsight.

14:29pm: How long can England keep Broad and Woakes on for. With Anderson out of the attack injured, if Australia can survive the next few overs, they can feast on Moeen and Stokes.

14:34pm: The answer is not long. After a brilliant over by Broad, Moeen is bought into the attack. The one thing I am really enjoying is the analysis by Kumar Sangakkara. A brilliant batsmen in his day and someone who knows the game inside out. Far more enjoyable than listening to the rubbish Warne is spouting.

14:40pm: WICKET – can you believe that? Broad bowls one short and Paine picks out Burns at deep square leg. Terrible shot, that he won’t want to see again. England now in charge.

14:44pm: WICKET – Broad has hit 4th and that looked out at first look. Pattinson trapped in front and the umpire gives him out straight away. I’d have probably reviewed that with the umpires in the form that they currently are. Australia are in deep doo-doo here.

14:46pm: Haha, Pattinson should have reviewed it, DRS shows it was missing leg. This has been a day of truly awful umpiring. Broad won’t care a jot mind.

14:51pm: Surely it’s fair to question why Piggy Smith didn’t help his mate there. Probably had the best view of the delivery and would have seen that the umpires are having a shocker. That being said, perhaps he is saving an ego review for himself..

14:56pm: Broad finally takes a breather after a wonderful spell of 8-2-22-2. Can Stokes bowl better than he did this morning, which granted couldn’t be difficult…

15:00pm: WICKET – Stokes does bowl better. Stokes follows a couple of out swingers followed by a booming in swinger which wraps him on the pads. Height may be a question but that looked out to me in real time. Australia in trouble here, real trouble.

15:06pm: Stokes looks like a completely different bowler in this spell. Stokes beats Smith all ends up but there’s a noise and a big appeal. Not out and a good decision from Aleem Dar as Smith seemed to clip his front pad rather than the ball.

15:11pm: Jeez, another clanger from Joel Wilson. Woakes strikes Siddle on the pads and Wilson gives him out, but you could have heard that inside edge from the Hollies. This is a really damning indictment on the level of Test Match umpiring.

15:16pm: 50 for Piggy Smith. Has played well considering the carnage around him. England will want to wrap this innings up quickly (as will those who enjoy the art of batting).

15:28pm: Siddle hunkering down in support of piggy. I suspect that’s what the rest of the Australian batsmen were supposed to do instead of leaving it to the number 10. Intensity has dropped a little as we head to tea.

15:37pm: England have to be careful here. Smith looking like he is going on the counter attack with Siddle locking down the other end. Another 40 or 50 on the board could make all the difference in this Test.

15:40pm: TEA – Australia are 154-8 after 53 overs (7 short). England’s afternoon without doubt especially without their talismanic opening bowler, but whilst Smith is still at the crease, then Australia are still in the game. I’m off to get a brew myself. See you in 20…

15:50pm: We have rain, and looks like plenty of it. Looks like a delayed restart unless it clears very quickly. Meanwhile on TMS:

16:04pm: Well it looks like we are off for the foreseeable future at the moment, whilst the  rain continues at Edgbaston. I’ll be back on air as soon as we have some play again by which time, Danny might also be around to post.

16:06pm: Restart at 4:20pm, providing we have no more rain.

16:14pm: In other news, it looks like this will be both Gower’s and Beefy’s last series in the commentary box for Sky. I’m not terribly sad as both are past their sell by date, but how on earth is Bumble being spared? The guy is more clown than commentator these days:

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2019/jul/31/david-gower-leaving-sky-ashes-cricket

16:19pm: The rain might have done England a favour here as it will have given Broad and Woakes a little longer to recover from their lengthy spells in the afternoon session. Broad to once again open up against Siddle.

16:23pm: Decent opening over from Broad who once again looks lively. Woakes with a real loosener than Siddle puts away for four. In the meantime, Ramprakash doing what Ramprakash does best:

Never one to admit culpability was our Mark, both for his batting and his coaching.

16:30pm: Peter Siddle is one of those annoying tailenders that are really hard to shift. He looks comfortable out in the middle and his technique looks better than most of those in the Aussie middle order. This partnership is becoming a real annoyance for England.

16:31pm: Another rain break. Joe Root not looking particularly happy about it and we are back out again. It’s like the hokey cokey at Edgbaston..

16:34pm: Anyway, Danny is now back from work and is joining me on the live blog. Over to you Danny.

16:37pm: Afternoon everyone. Danny here. What did I miss?

16:42pm: I’ve been watching ten minutes and this partnership is already worrying me. Facing the two wicket-taking bowlers, Smith and Siddle both look pretty comfortable and the partnership has already reached fifty.

16:51pm: England are bowling with a misshapen ball. Sounds painful, and certainly isn’t helping them to bowl these two out…

16:57pm: FFS. Australia are going to win this, aren’t they? We all know what happens after a team’s key bowler is injured near the start of an Ashes series, after all.

17:06pm: Stokes replaces Woakes and is bowling a lot of short balls to Siddle, but it’s not worrying the Australian at all. I imagine England are hoping for some rain so they can start fresh tomorrow.

17:10pm: Smith falls on his wrist following a tight run, and the umpires call an early DRINKS.

17:14pm: Denly has replaced Broad, at least technically speaking. If Denly bowls more than 20 overs in this series, we might as well just give up and give Australia the Ashes urn now.

17:26pm: No news is good news, or so the saying goes. I’m not so sure. Sky is reporting that there won’t be any updates on Anderson’s injury today. As (I think) Botham points out, if it’s an existing injury (as seems to be the case) then England shouldn’t be able to use a fielding substitute under the current laws.

17:31pm: WICKET – Moeen comes in and draws an inside edge from Siddle to Buttler at short leg. That brings to an end the partnership of 88 runs, which could be huge in this game. Australia on 210/9. England might want to take their time, because I doubt their openers will want to face an hour session tonight.

17:43pm: Steve Smith is farming the strike to keep the pressure off Lyon, and it’s worked. Australia have already added an extra hundred runs for their last two wickets. Poor from England, notwithstanding Anderson’s injury.

17:52pm: CENTURY – Steve Smith smacks one through the covers, and is now on 103*. Kisses the badge on his helmet too. God, I want to throw up…

17:57: Honestly, watching him today, I think Smith will more centuries in this series than the England team combined. With England a bowler down in this game, and potentially missing Anderson for the rest of the series too, these are ominous signs for England’s hopes of reclaiming the Ashes urn.

18:04pm: Broad calls for a REVIEW with Steve Smith going across his stumps to a full ball. Live, I thought he’d edged it onto his pads. In fact he had missed it, but it was sliding way past the leg stump. England will have to take their last wicket without a DRS appeal. Given today’s performances by the umpires, that could be an issue…

18:07pm: Apparently, due to rain delays, today’s play can go on to 18:52pm. I didn’t realise this when I agreed to do the live updates to the close. This is what happens when you’re not paying close attention. It’s looking more and more like Smith will bat out the day, although he is going for more aggressive shots now that he’s batting with Lyon.

18:15pm: The commentators are talking about how Joffra Archer could be useful in this kind of situation. Personally I’d prefer Adil Rashid, even on a first day like today. Australian batsmen, even tailenders, are accustomed to pace. Leg spin, not so much.

18:22pm: Chris Woakes bowling 79mph bouncers to Smith. I’m a fan of Woakes, and he’s done well today, but I don’t think that’s going to work.

18:35pm: WICKET – Steve Smith goes for a wild swing and misses a full, straight ball from Stuart Broad. Broad ends up with 5/86 and clears up all three of the players returning from abrasive-related bans. Australia have reached 284 after being 122/8 earlier in the day. England are facing two or three overs today, and I bet they wish Leach was available to call in. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Broad or another bowler acting as nightwatchman though.

18:45pm: Nope, Burns and Roy come in to face the two overs. Cummins to bowl the first over.

18:50pm: First over survived. Roy missing a wild pull though, maybe time to put that shot away for the day, Jason? One more to go.

19:04pm: England reach the close on 10/0, 274 runs behind the tourists. Smith’s huge 144-run stand has put Australia in what might be considered the lead after wickets were falling like dominoes earlier in the day.

We seem to have lost 5 overs today, although that may be due to the short rain delays and excess of DRS appeals rather than England’s tardy bowlers. This is notable because, with this game being the very first in the World Test Championship, teams can be docked league points for being slow in bowling their overs.

Tomorrow’s forecast seems fair, with no rain expected. Good batting conditions, you might think, but England have shown themselves capable of collapsing in even the friendliest of situations. It will certainly be a nervy first session for England fans as they try to post a first innings lead.

That’s me (Danny) and Sean signing off the live blog. Comments on the game, coverage, or anything else below.