Author: LordCanisLupus

2015 Test Century Watch #18 – Imrul Kayes

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Imrul Kayes – 150 v Pakistan at Khulna

So while Tamim was setting the national record at one end, Imrul was making the seventh highest score by a Bangladesh player at the other end, setting record opening partnerships with him, and becoming fifth player to pass 150 in tests for Bangladesh. It was a carve up in Khulna.

So with all the ground records and national stuff out of the way in the Tamim piece below, what else do I have for Imrul’s knock in statistical terms? This was Imrul’s third test century and his first not at Chittagong. He has a decent conversion rate – 5 scores over 50, just two falling short once he passes 50 of the century mark (one being his first innings 51 – the other a 75 at Lord’s). That test average is still in the mid-20s, but don’t underestimate a knock like that in saving the game. He doesn’t stop at 100, with scores of 115 and 130, so while a DBTA of 31.67 isn’t top drawer, it isn’t nonsense either.

Imrul’s century was the 11th made at the Sheikh Abu Naser Stadium, and he nestles into 5th = with Shiv Chanderpaul (who made a not out 150) for the stadium honours board list. Five hundreds have been made by home players – Tamim has two, Shakib al Hasan one and Abul Hasan one. Three hundreds were made in one test by West Indies players in 2011.

On to 150. Have you ever seen a 150 Dmitri? The answer is no. There have been 30 scores of 150 in tests, and if I had to associate the number with one innings I recall, it is Mike Gatting’s at The Oval to take us to a series losing draw v Pakistan in 1987, when the visitors had racked up 700 on us. The first 150 was made in 1911, and by one of the few test players with a surname beginning with the letter Z outside the subcontinent. Billy Zulch, at the SCG, while following on against the hosts, made 150 for South Africa in a losing cause.

“When South Africa followed-on, Zulch made a great effort. He batted extremely well in the latter half of his innings, but he might have been out three times before he had scored seventy.”

A “Cook-esque” ton then 🙂

The previous 150 made in tests was Shiv Chanderpaul’s effort at Khulna three years ago. Sydney and Georgetown have had three scores of 150 apiece, so Khulna, in its limited life as a test venue is punching above its statistical weight. The last Englishman to make 150 exactly was Gatting, with just two others making that score – Len Hutton and Derek Randall. The last one in England was by Ricky Ponting at Cardiff to kick off the 2009 Ashes. Ricky Ponting, along with Gary Kirsten, are the only two players to make 150 twice in tests.

Imrul Kayes 100 came up in 150 balls and contained 11 x 4 and 3 x 6.

2015 Test Century Watch #17 – Tamim Iqbal

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Tamim

Tamim Iqbal – 206 v Pakistan at Khulna

Tamim Iqbal, once, as I always like to remind him, compared to Virender Sehwag by Jonathan Agnew, is really hitting form. Today he reached the pinnacle of Bangladesh test batting by setting its record score. His 206 broke the record set by Mushfiqur Rahman (200) two years ago in Galle against Sri Lanka. It took his test batting average over 40. It was his seventh test hundred, he’s a good over or two’s thrashing from 3000 test runs, and he’s just 26. It’s a bit of a transformation for him, and Bangladeshi test cricket. On the batting front there are green shoots of recovery.

This was the 16th double hundred made in tests in Bangladesh (we set out the country record and ground record holders in the Mohammad Hafeez piece). 206 places Tamim in 9th place in the list. When he reached 182 he passed Monimul Haque for the highest score by a Bangladesh test batsman in their host country. This was the 14th double ton in Bangladesh involving the host nation – two Pakistanis made their doubles against Sri Lanka in the Asian Test Championship. This was Tamim’s second ton at Khulna, his fourth in Bangladesh (he has two in England) and only the third of his centuries to pass 110.

206 has been made 14 times in test cricket? Have you seen one Dmitri? Well funny you should mention that but I have. It was in Adelaide, funnily enough, and it was Paul Collingwood who made it. I wonder how that test panned out?

The first 206 was made in 1938 by Bill Brown, who carried his bat for that score at Lord’s in 1938 after Walter Hammond had made a big double for England in the first innings. Lord’s saw the second 206, when Martin Donnelly of New Zealand made that score in 1949. Lord’s shares the distinction of having two scores of 206 with the Queen’s Park Oval in Port of Spain, where both Everton Weekes and Ricky Ponting have made that score. Also, Adelaide has two – Collingwood and Arthur Morris. The last 206 was Chetshwar Pujara’s unbeaten innings against England in Ahmedabad. You know, the game Arron refers to a lot when it came to our selection of bowlers (and rightly so). Another notable 206 innings came from Ravi Shastri in Sydney (Shane Warne’s debut).

Tamim Iqbal’s 100 came up in 124 balls and included 11 x 4 and 3 x 6. His 200 came off 264 balls, with 17 x 4 and 7 x 6, with the final tally for his innings being 278 balls. A National Record to be proud of Tamim. Bangladesh may well be on the rise.

2015 Century Watch #16 – Mohammad Hafeez

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Mohammad Hafeez – 224 v Bangladesh at Khulna

So while most of our attention is turning towards Bridgetown, there is a test match going on in Bangladesh and Mohammad Hafeez has filled his boots for a double hundred, moving into second place behind Kane Williamson in the highest score of 2015 list. This is currently the 146th highest innings in test cricket, and he is the 6th man to make this score, all of which have been in the past 22 years.

The first 224 was made against England, and it was by the man who stormed test cricket only briefly. Vinod Kambli made his highest test score at Mumbai on the fated tour by Gooch’s England, followed it up with another double against Zimbabwe and then never hit the heights again. Since then Lou Vincent (v Sri Lanka in Wellington), Jacques Kallis (v Sri Lanka at Cape Town), Mahendra Singh Dhoni (v Australia at Chennai) and Brendon McCullum (v India in Auckland in the series he followed this up with a triple) have made 224.

This is the 15th highest individual score in Pakistan test history. The leader is Hanif Mohammed with 337 in Bridgetown in 1958. It is the 38th double century in Pakistani test history (Javed Miandad has the most with six). Surprisingly (to me) it is just the 15th double century in Bangladesh, with the highest score currently Kumar Sangakkara’s 319 in Chittagong (Hafeez moved into 6th place with this innings).  Hafeez did not set the ground record for Khulna – that goes to everyone’s favourite saluter, Marlon Samuels, who made 260 for the West Indies against Bangladesh in 2012. Hafeez is the 5th Pakistan player to make a double hundred in Bangladesh – and his is the top score of those. Inzy, Younus Khan, Ijaz Ahmed and Mohammed Yousuf are the other double centurions.

This Mohammad Hafeez’s eighth test century (obviously his highest) and his third versus Bangladesh, with this being his second in Bangladesh. His previous career test best was 197 v New Zealand in Sharjah last year. Hafeez had suffered in the 190s before as he also has a 196 to his name v Sri Lanka at the SSC in 2012. For those eight test centuries, Hafeez has a DBTA of 64.17, which is more than useful. Hafeez has just the one ton away from Asia, which was made in Bulawayo.

Mohammad Hafeez made 100 off 123 balls, and this included 8 x 4 and 2 x 6. He made his 200 off 286 balls, which included 21 x 4 and 3 x 6. In total his innings lasted 332 balls and had 23 x 4 and 3 x 6.

Philadelphia

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The City of Brotherly Love. A place where the name suggests accord and liberty, while 80 miles or so down the road in Baltimore, there’s a fire burning, and people are mad as hell.

But enough of that. I thought brotherly love might be an apt theme for my last post for a while from this side of the pond, as I’ll be heading over to Philly tomorrow, and straight out of it before the rush hour traffic hits. And in the spirit of brotherly love, I’d thought I’d look at what’s been happening the past few days and especially in relation to the man who seems to inspire it throughout the media and a large swathe of the English cricketing public. We are talking about our captain.

Or, is he as thick and creamy as the cheese spread that also takes the name? No comments on that from me….

The attitude that we’ve seen taken to Alastair Cook in the past year or so has been greeted here with a sense of wonder. There was the backing of him post-Ashes when there really wasn’t one of us who posts here who thought, in their heart of hearts, that he could carry on after that disaster. But in an amazing turn of events – and please, press, remember this when you keep harping on about KP’s press team – somehow, someway, he dodged all the bullets when it came to keeping his place. Flower was shunted upstairs, KP was shown the door, the hierarchy had either resigned, or were about to resign, the batting coach was invited to leave, and senior players went. Standing there, unabashed, backed to the hilt by the lost and departed Downton, was Alastair Cook, for whom blame was never attached by the fourth estate or the TV boys.

Now, we stand after a win against West Indies where we are being told by respected cricket writers like Simon Wilde (like Simon, so I wonder how recent, recent is meant to be), this…

and Cook is giving off all the impression that he’s the man with nothing to fear from anybody. He’s reportedly – and given it’s Sale saying it, I mean reportedly – been up to his old tricks of sorting out a journo or two who has done something he doesn’t like and had a pop. There’s a sort of swagger after this win, which came with him bringing us home with a half century after a decent hand in the first innings.

I’ve lost count how many times I’ve been told, not directly but I know some of it is aimed our way, to stop moaning and enjoy the win. And they have a point. I contrast this tom my football team in 2004, who got to the FA Cup Final, only to be soundly beaten by Manchester United, as expected. As we came out of the ground, all the Man Utd fans looked miserable. “Cheer up”  I exhorted one of the “you’ve won th FA Cup. Come on, be happy.” It was the retort one of them gave me that I’ll remember “We were supposed to win this, we’re not getting excited. We were expected to beat you”. As a Millwall fan that day, that hurt quite a bit. It actually signalled the starting point of me moving away from football. But think what United fans said, and, sadly, it was true. They were expected to win, it was nice to win, but no biggie.

As expected we’ve seen a deluge of piffle. Now, in the manner only those well-meaning souls can do, I’m showing no brotherly love to people who say “what the hell are you moaning about?” I think you’ll find, I’ve not done a lot. What has cheesed me off is someone started up the hyperbole machine and has forgotten to switch it off. One who has had me scratching my head in disbelief is Nasser Hussain. Seriously Nas, what the hell has happened to you? How is this an acceptable line of praise for an England captain as we aspire to reach the highest peaks.

but for now his game looks in very good order again and he is making very good half-centuries.

I’ve seen that average statistic trotted out as well. You know, the one that cuts off the year preceding Southampton. “Very good half-centuries” Nasser. Against, lets be fair, not top quality attacks. While Ballance, Root and Bell have made centuries in the middle order. This takes us for fools. I’ve downloaded some cricket for my flight, where I have Alastair Cook’s two tons in India in the second and third tests to look forward to. That’s very good order, Nasser, not a gentle 70-odd in five hours against some disappointing bowling, or drop-ridden knocks at the fag end of last Summer. Where’s the analysis in this?

You can’t drop him now for his batting, because half-centuries are good enough for him it seems. That elusive hundred might be very near, but as I’ve said on numerous occasions, when it comes, it doesn’t prove the selectors right for waiting for it. The longer this wait goes on, the longer it becomes an issue. Sure, a century in amidst a load of single figure scores isn’t a cure-all either, but this holy grail of Cook looking better is just wishful thinking masquerading as an analysis. Seriously, I watched five minutes of him playing in Colombo in 2012 a day or so ago and the difference is stark. He was more fluid. At the moment he bats like a metal man who hasn’t seen a drop of oil for a while, all stiff movements… as if he’s been pre-programmed.

I’m not a fan – I’m genuinely not fans of people who are protected on high by establishment and don’t seem to realise how bloody lucky they are to have that backing. This isn’t hatred, which, of course, is levelled at me and my ilk. I would like to see him make a ton of runs at the top of the order, and will be content if they lead to England wins. I don’t necessarily subscribe to the Essex succession in the record breaker charts, or some of the more fanciful stuff, but there’s a prodigal son aspect here and it is worrying. Half centuries are enough now (they weren’t for Mark Ramprakash, for instance but then, blah blah, 25 centuries, blah blah) because he now looks like a leader on the field.

Hogwash.

We won a test match against the 8th best team in the world. James Morgan on The Full Toss sums it up and also uses a football analogy. This win has been greeted by former players, Sky TV, some of the press, and the masses on Social Media like a massive win, a win for the ages. Even Botham is being invoked to reflect a wonderful spell by Anderson (want to watch him in his pomp – try Trent Bridge, 2013). This was a great win – no questions asked.

I love the West Indies, I want them to do so well, and we all know this is a really mediocre side we are playing. They could improve, but this isn’t top notch oppo. Sure, England did well to win, but you saw what I said on Sunday about inspired performances winning games – they aren’t reliable. A real curmudgeon, and I’m not entitled to be that in the glow of victory, would point out that the West Indies had got to 200 for 2 and it was a deck no team in the world could get a team out on if you listened to the media masses on Friday night. No, we bowled badly first time up, and also with the new ball first time round in the second innings. Against good teams, you don’t get second chances. Imagine that’s David Warner instead of Kraigg Brathwaite; AB deVilliers instead of Daren Bravo. Good luck with that.

But no. We must go mad for a win, and we must recognise Alastair’s “I’m In Charge” body language. It’s ludicrous. We’ve beaten a mediocre team. Graves is right.

Cook appears to have learnt from his mistakes. Last summer, for instance, his decision to spread the field when Sri Lanka captain Angelo Mathews was batting with the tail lost England the Headingley Test but here he kept the field up to Denesh Ramdin in a similar situation and kept the pressure on.

This is top drawer from Nasser. He has learned from being an absolute weapons grade disaster and instead didn’t cave in and make a hash of it. We are celebrating competence. I watched how an Australia team strangled England at Adelaide. They believed they could get us all out, and the one man we had to shepherd the tail wasn’t interested in scoring runs. Watch that. If someone blasts the life out of you, fair play. Here Hussain says Cook lost us a test match, something not often repeated (many criticised the bowlers and Moores for the tactics as well), and yet we can hope the next time he gets a good side in this position, he doesn’t capitulate. Oh, and Mathews was well on his way to a ton at the time, while Ramdin was just starting so let’s not compare apples and oranges.

This doesn’t rank in the top five, easily, of test wins this England team have had away from home in the last 10 years. Mumbai and Kolkata to win in India (under Cook, great stuff) are too fresh in my memory to be erased by a collapse in Grenada. I’d stick Colombo in 2012 to end a run of four straight defeats as well. The demolition in Melbourne would be there, because we’d just lost in Perth, in 2010/11. I’d add the grossly underrated win in Durban in 2009 to the mix, aided by a fantastic hundred by Cook, because it was so unexpected. Mumbai 2006 was also one for the ages, as we squared a series in India.

This win can only be significant because it bolsters a team that needs it. A team coming together but with the captain more important than anything else. Every interview is “I back Cooky” etc etc, and all this good environment and positive vibe bullshit. The last one who didn’t back him got the boot, the media are in the tank because they mostly appear to love him, I’m constantly told on twitter and on podcasts that he’s a lovely bloke, and that no-one wants to see him fail. Fine. But if, like me, you have tons and tons of games on your archives at home, or if you can get to see them elsewhere, you are being sold down the river. Cook’s not back to his best. He’s nowhere near it. And if you are being misled over that, what else are you being misled over? Oh, I’m a tin-hatted conspiracy theorist. No. I don’t like being told something when almost the opposite is staring me in the face.

If we win against New Zealand, fine. Win against Australia, brilliant. I’ll eat the humblest of humble pie. Until then, spare me the great wins claptrap, the reinforced leader of a loyal hardy bunch of men BS, and the back to his best cockwaffle. And I will be a bloody curmudgeon if I want to be. I am a real fan, and real fans don’t go mental over wins pulled out of their arse against a team that is prone to brainfarts. Or as Australia called them in 2006/7 and 13/14 “England”.

That’s my lot. A rant and a half, and still didn’t cover everything I wanted to.

I’m travelling tomorrow, so I’ll leave you in Vian’s capable hands, and see you on the other side of the Atlantic.

TwitterTweeting

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Please, please read Vian’s post below.

But to let you know a couple of things.

First – the record for monthly hits was passed around 4pm today with three full days in the month remaining. Many thanks.

Second – We have a new Twitter Feed – @OutsideCricket . We are hoping to link all posts on there and make it an area we can exchange views. We have followed some already, so follow us back!

Now – read the man…..

2015 Century Watch #15 – Kraigg Brathwaite

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Kraigg-Brathwaite-495x650

Kraigg Brathwaite – 116 v England at St. George’s, Grenada

The fifth test hundred at the St. George’s ground, the third by a West Indian, and the first by a Barbados man (the two others were by Jamaicans) was a triumph of application and temperament over doomsaying and dismissal. I’ve rarely been more appalled by a commentariat so ignorant and so dimissive of a ton, excused as it was because it was made on a road that was killing test cricket. Rant over. I like this man, and hope he has a top future.

For those who commentate and ignore anything outside the England bubble, this would not have come as a surprise. It was Brathwaite’s 4th test hundred in 19 tests (Samuels has 7 in three times as many games) and his second highest. His best was against Bangladesh, when he made a double (212) and one of his other four was made against South Africa in Port Elizabeth (another “dead” track). I don’t expect miracles from a youngster, but he’s doing well. Did you know he’s hit just the one six in test cricket?

This was the third highest score made at St. George’s, below Root and Gayle. It was his third century in the Caribbean (the others were made at Kingstown (St Vincent) and Port of Spain).

This was the 67th score of 116 in test cricket. As is usual, I’ll look back at some of the older scorers of this amount for any statistical frippery. Archie MacLaren made the first 116 in tests, back in 1901. This was in the first test of the 1901/02 Ashes and England won by an innings and a few against the hosts at the SCG. That was as good as it got for England, as we lost the next four. No doubt the Selvey and Newman’s of the age would have been hootering and a hollering about the SCG and telling us all to pipe down and nothing was wrong!

The last 116 was scored by Mushfiqur Rahim of Bangladesh against the West Indies in Kingstown (when Brathwaite got his double). I’ve seen a test 116, and it was by everyone’s favourite Bedford schoolboy, when he hit a doughty and defiant innings of that score at the WACA in 2006.

Cook pushes a single to complete his century against Australia in Perth 2006. Taken by this
Cook pushes a single to complete his century against Australia in Perth 2006. Taken by this “not true fan” of England. Anyone can use it if they like….

Mark Butcher and Chris Broad (as well as Cook) are Englishmen with two scores of 116 to their name. For the West Indies, they have just five scores of 116 out of those 67 – Clyde Walcott, Ramnaresh Sarwan, Kraigg Brathwaite and two for Shiv Chanderpaul.

Kraigg Brathwaite’s 100 came off 228 balls and contained 11 fours. He made his 116 in 252 and added three more boundaries to his total.

2015 Test Century Watch #14 – Joe Root

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Joe-Root

Joe Root – 182 not out v West Indies at St. George’s

You’ve read all the stuff about over 150 scores for Joe Root, but the century watch is for my statistical buffoonery, and not those boring old stats. We’ll be talking DBTA and all sorts.

Joe Root’s 182 not out is his first century overseas, and adds on to the five made at home. It his second highest score in test cricket, nestling behind his double ton against Sri Lanka last spring at Lord’s.  His DBTA now stands at 184.5, which is rather good and reflects he has a Steve Waugh propensity to make 150s and stay unbeaten in doing so. This is, of course, a small sample size, and will come down with time, but still amazing.

This was the 17th score of 182 in tests, and the sixth unbeaten score. I actually saw the start of the last 182 not out in tests – I walked out of the match because I was fed up – which was made by Jacques Kallis at The Oval in 2012. The last 182 in tests was made a few days after Kallis’s efforts, when Alviro Petersen made that score at Headingley. Root is the third Englishman to make 182 in a test match – CP Mead and MC Cowdrey being the others. Of the 17 scores of 182, two each have been made at The Oval, Sydney, Georgetown (Bourda), Headingley and Kolkata.

For me there is one score of 182 seared on my memory, and it is this one. It is one of the best innings I’ve ever seen (but then I loved Richie Richardson):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uouZo1lUZx0

Greg Chappell has two scores of 182. 182 links two other West Indian greats – Lara and Richards. It’s a venerable old score.

This was the 4th century at St. George’s and the second highest. The record is held by Chris Gayle who made 204 against New Zealand at this venue in 2009. Samuels was the third century maker, and we have the fifth to come… It was the second by an overseas player, and the highest (obviously) beating Scott Styris who made 107 in 2002. Not many tests are played at Grenada (this was the 4th) so there isn’t a huge track record to go on.

This was England’s 12th highest score against the West Indies. The best is by Andrew Sandham who made 325 in Jamaica back in 1930, and is, along with Bob Cowper and John Edrich, one of those frequently forgotten on the list of test triple centurions. The last double made against the West Indies is by current fan favourite Kevin Pietersen, who made 226 against them at Headingley in 2007. Three of our top ten scores were made at Sabina Park. Root’s 182 was the fifth highest score made in the West Indies by an England man.

Joe Root’s century came up in 125 balls with 13×4 and 2×6. His innings consisted of 229 balls with 17×4 and 4×6.

2015 Test Century Watch #13 – Marlon Samuels

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There can only be one suitable picture…

Samuels Salute

Marlon Samuels – 103 v England at St. George’s, Grenada

Well, Marlon, thanks a bunch. 103. When was the last time we had one of those? Oh yes. About five days before you did one. See Jason Holder (#12). So read that post for some of the statistical quirks surround 103s in test cricket, which, when Marlon did it, was the 121st time in test cricket. There have been two 103s closer together, and quite recently (2011). Rahul Dravid made 103 not out on the Saturday, and Matt Prior on the Sunday of the first test at Lord’s. Both were undefeated (I went to Day 5 of that game and got very excited about it – but then I’m not a real fan). On a personal note, this not real fan spent not real money to see a 103 made against England. This one was by Michael Hussey in Perth in 2006. The remainder of that day, when Adam Gilchrist went off, is the stuff of legend (because I missed it, of course….)

So as there were two other tons made in this test, and both were higher scores, the ground record section will be taken then. This leaves me with a Marlon Samuels perspective for the rest of this piece. Wish me luck…

This was Samuels 7th century in tests. Looking at the seven we see something pretty striking. He has a DBTA (Dmitri Big Ton Average, worked out as if you assume the player is on 0 when he makes 100 and then take his batting average from then) of 30.43. Not brilliant, but not disastrous. This is because it is distorted, Ian Bell-like (hmmm) by a massive score against Bangladesh of 260. The fact is that in four of Samuels scores over 100, he hasn’t made it to 110.

This was just Marlon’s second test hundred at a home venue (he has one at Kingston), and was his second against England. He has two test hundreds in South Africa, which really betrays how his talent is not matched by his stats. Not sure how I can work it out on Statsguru, but there have been 12 1/2 years between century #1 and century #7 for Marlon.

Marlon Samuels century came up in 226 balls with 14 x 4.

Godfather

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You may have come here in error – Twitter playing havoc. For the Death of A Gentleman review click here – https://collythorpe.wordpress.com/2015/08/10/death-of-a-gentleman-2/

Or read below…..

We should really have known.

There’s a statement made about NFL players scoring a Touchdown. “When you get into the end zone, act like you’ve been there before”. I think a lot of England fans, and that’s what they are, even if they disagree with me, need to keep that in mind. Sure, celebrate your victories and enjoy them, but don’t get carried away. Act like we’ve been there before. Act like this isn’t a vindication.

I’m happy to heap praise on England for creating an opening and then ruthlessly exploiting it. Hurrah!  Jimmy Anderson pressed the “on” button, got the vital wickets with the new ball, and then let the situation and the pressure do the rest. Busting down the door on a wicket completely condemned as a dead loss (because these same bowlers did not come up to those standards in previous new ball spells, which is going to be forgotten now) was very good to see. Contrary to what those who criticise us think, I enjoyed watching us do that. What I won’t do is get carried away.

There’s something in the English sporting spirit that makes us over-react to victories. It’s the reason we never completely dominate anything for any length of time. While we seem remarkably satisfied with winning the 2005 and 2010/11 Ashes, the fact both of these were followed by total humiliation not long after summed up a lot of our England sporting psyche. I mean, seriously, how do you think Australia would have greeted this win against the 8th rated side in the world? Sure, they’d go on a little, but many would say “how the hell did we need a brilliant session to beat these guys?”

I’m one for parallels with history, and this looks and smells like Spring 2008. England had lost a shocking match to New Zealand at Hamilton, getting turned over for a small total in the 1st Test, and people had the knives out for the captain (Vaughan) and the coach (Moores). Then we won a scrappy test at Wellington on the back of a Tim Ambrose century, and went on to win at Napier as KP bailed us out on day one, and Strauss made his career best in the second. No-one went overboard over those expected victories, because coming up were sterner tests. When we lost the big home series to South Africa, the writing was on the wall for the nightmares to follow. Wellington wasn’t a new dawn, just a false one.

Let me turn to the reaction once more, and I’ll probably start with a reply to a comment below:

You know I was mad at Yossarian’s post in the week and some questioned why I should be. I’m glad I saw BTL because it proved I’m totally right to feel as I do. I’ll pick up on what those who have called people “not real fans” all I like because (and to sound childish) they started it. I’m not having any person question my fandom to the England cricket team. I went on a whitewash in 2006/7 and fronted up and pushed our corner in a foreign land. I went to South Africa. I’ve been to tests in England for many many years, often losing years. I’ve been a county member for many years. You question whether I’m a real fan? Excuse my French but Fuck Off.

If I weren’t a real fan, I’d have left. I’d have not bothered writing a blog nearly every day for a year. I don’t question your status, do not have the absloute front to question mine, and those who come on this blog. Who made you the sole arbiters of fandom? Do one. You don’t get to choose how I follow my team.

That should do it…..

You are not a real fan unless you over-react totally to this win and tell the world that Jimmy Anderson is absolutely amazing (is he a bowler of great spells, rather than a great bowler? To throw that cack back at them) and that Alastair Cook is now a very good captain in good form. If you can’t celebrate this win, what’s up with you?

We’ve beaten the 8th ranked team in the world, without their best quick bowler, and a frail batting line-up having wasted the advantage given us to a large degree on the 1st day. If this was a flawless, ruthless demolition over four days on a good deck, I’d be encouraged. But this was won because of an inspired performance on Day 5. The thing with inspired performances is that by and large, they don’t happen often. You can’t rely on them.

I was very happy with the win last night, but knew this was coming. I despair of the lack of nuanced thought. I’m not going to like Alastair Cook any more for it, but nor am I going to say he was rubbish. I’d just point out that there’s a mighty old elephant in the room if we’re celebrating 70s and cosy little 50 not outs (after the shine went off the new ball, this was no more than a net, albeit one played with some little initial pressure on it) as him being in good form, I recall him being in really decent nick when he reeled off three centuries on the bounce in India or three in five in Australia, including doubles and big tons. You are the ones clutching at straws, not me.

I knew what was coming, so I watched The Godfather for the first time. I might want to make some of those who call me “not a real fan” an offer they can’t refuse.