The Not Watching The Ashes Chronicles – Part 3

You’d think I’d learn. That I would learn that England’s test team would always have done this. It’s not unprecedented. Put themselves in a decent spot, and then go down in flames. I kept harking back to Brisbane 1990 – where we got skittled, we skittled them for an unexpected lead, but instead of consolidating, we flumped again, and Aussie won by 10 wickets.

Truth is, it feels as the quality of the oppo goes up, the more we need the experienced pros to step up with the bat. Stokes and Root mainly, but the rest have been in the side for a while now. We had the best all round opener in the world in the summer (Ben Duckett, and he never was that), we have the prodigal plonker in next captain Harry Brook (I mean, seriously, how could you follow a bloke that bats the way he does) and by far the best player in county cricket in Ollie Pope, except he isn’t even that any more. And seriously, if Jacob Bethell is the answer, it’s a pretty daft question. I am just going to ignore Zak Crawley at this point, because the Aussie scoreboard did.

Not watched a ball today, and as soon as we didn’t get Travis Head early, England were done for. We all, in our heart of hearts, knew this was going to happen. Hope is not a strategy. Getting lucky twice is not a game plan. It might come off once on this tour, this might even have been it “coming off” for at least one madcap day, and lord did it get the Aussies worried (they are all being ever so cocksure today, but they were worried) but in the end, cricketing gravity worked itself out. This does feel like two bald fellas arguing over a comb, except they are high on meth, roided up and drinking Red Bull by the gallon.

Sigh.

And another sigh.

Maybe more later. I’ve got a dog to walk.