Hello everyone. It’s been a while. There’s been some exciting cricket played while I have been away from here. The media has gone all in for the “saviours” of test cricket. What’s not to like? Well. I have some concerns. We’ll get to them. But let’s start with an opportunity.

Two weeks ago I received a message from a work colleague. Would I be interested in a ticket for the Friday of the Lord’s Test? England v Australia, second test. I think you might guess my reaction…

“How much?”

“£120”

“Nah, you’re alright.”

There is so much sorrow in that response. Like it wasn’t even given a thought. That’s a No. Life has moved on and changes have taken place that have altered a lot of my foundations. I’m not a Londoner by residence any more. I live near Stonehenge now. Even living in London, that’s still too much to pay. It would take me less time to get to Taunton than Lord’s.

The price is just too much in these economic times, with a much higher mortgage, higher running costs of life. That I could even consider paying £120, with the £50 return ticket by train, the cost of feeding and watering myself for the day, taking the weather risk, and whether the teams can be bothered to stick in an 80 over, let alone 90 over shift for the day, and I thought not. It wasn’t even close. No regret. There are plenty of other, much better off, and much more committed supporters of the game, and frankly, good luck to them. I still love the sport, but it’s a diminished love these days, and I get my kicks elsewhere. If you follow me on Twitter you will know it is in non-league football, and well down the pyramid too.. Top level sport and its costs have passed me by. The economy and my enthusiasm waning. But there is a spark? Test cricket remains fun. So enjoy, from the sofa, what you can.

Which leaves me more detached when it comes to cricket blogging and following. I had a look before I wrote this piece, and it appears the last thing I wrote on Being Outside Cricket was over a year ago. Before the Bazball Bonanza took over. I know the other blog stalwarts have had their say on the way England play, and I thought Chris did a masterful job for the pro-lobby. But I am not quite the fan that most others seem to be. I am in the minority, but not a vocal one. 2014 me would have been blasting off the ceiling about throwing away a series win in New Zealand on the back of our godforsaken ego, but then realising that we would not have won the four preceding overseas tests playing the way we used to. I think my anger was in enforcing the follow-on. That was pure ego. It abandoned sense. It was different for difference sake. it provided an entertaining match, which due to me packing in everything that isn’t Sky, I couldn’t watch (those cost of living cuts again).

You can change approach if sense dictates you need to. So far the media, well the UK media, are giving Bazball a free pass. It’s bish, it’s bash, it’s bosh, it’s Baz and Ben. But a part of me dies when Joe Root, as good a player as we have ever produced, who when flowing naturally is majestic, is ramp shotting early in his innings and looking like giving away his wicket. A part of me dies when Ollie Pope miscues and gets away with it, and in the case of the Ireland innings, repeatedly. There is the concept of return to mean, of balance, and if so England could be in for a rude awakening.

But it’s entertaining Peter. It is never dull with this England team. Just live life and let yourself be free. Go with the flow. Sure. They aren’t going to read an article like this and go “that moany old KP loving bore don’t like it, so let’s go back to being 30 for 4 every week”. Nor should they. Believe me, if this style means we bash up the Aussies, unable to respond to the aggression and ferocity of Ben Duckett being able to achieve what the world’s best openers struggle to do, succumbing to Crawley’s fluent shot-making, and preventing keeping Harry Brook to human levels, I’d pay my train ticket and be at the parade (they’d need to be quick to squeeze it in before the Hundred, though). The canary in every Ashes failure goldmine is there. Key bowlers appearing to fall by the wayside, veterans on their third “last hurrah” needing to carry the load, and the gnawing feeling we are putting all our positive thoughts into the “hope” category rather than “expectation”.

The irony that the print and TV media, and some of those so protective of Sir Alastair and so disgusted with that awful Pietersen chap, who was derided for his “that’s the way I play” comments, are now so in line with the “that’s the way we play” mantra now adopted. Indeed Stokes appeared to say there would be no way into the team for a modern day Sir Alastair. I’m not laughing. No, honestly, I’m not. You’d think these Bazball Barnburners were just waiting for their hero to come along and take up the assault, and not the same people who threw themselves in front of the flak for their hero Sir Al, and the ECB. By the way, much respect for Sir Al for playing on for Essex. Huge respect. Loves the game. That much is clear.

Yes, let’s be clear. I enjoy watching the England team, and that’s not to be sniffed at. They haven’t been entertaining for a while now and the last year has been a fun time. I am not going to be the one to just say “you are all wrong” because I enjoy being contrary. Heavens, given the mental health stuff I have been going through, my counsellor thinks I am mad enough without bringing this stuff into my sessions! I’ve told her many times that people say my angry writing is good, and yet I know, deep down, that the blog was an exercise in self-harm for a long time. Be angry. The readers loved angry.

But anger isn’t a positive thing, not for me now. I just want to enjoy sport with meaning, and that last part is important. Meaning. That the prize is delivered through endeavour and spirit and not bought. That upsetting conventional methods, which I find almost unsettling because it attacks my value system (and I couldn’t play a shot in front of square to save my life), takes some getting used to. But when I hear Nasser Hussain say to Stokes, you are 300 in front, 2-1 up in the Ashes, last test, last day, three wickets down, are you declaring, and Stokes says “yes” then I want to scream. Out loud. You’d ego throw away a series, the one to us, rightly or wrongly, that matters the most on your own principles/ That’s not meaning. It’s madness.

Of course, does he really mean it? I don’t know. That he would even say it has me reaching for my non-existent calming pills.

“You can’t control what he does, Peter. So why let something make you anxious that you can’t control. What will being anxious achieve?”

My counsellor never watched Millwall chuck away a play-off place on the May Bank Holiday. I could see that car crash coming.

I deal in logic. Logic suggests that for the first time in 22 years, we will lose a home series against Australia. There looks to be mountains of runs in Smith and Labuschagne. Head will contribute, Green looks dangerous with bat and ball, Carey might contribute a few, Opener is a clear weakness, but you either trust your instincts that the two have failed a lot in England, or that the law of averages suggests one of them might “get it”. The bowling looks miles better than ours. We could, potentially, be carrying a passenger in Stokes. Broad and Anderson have to end sometime. We have no extreme pace. I think we’ll still be fretting over Jofra’s elbow in 2027.

Sport isn’t logical, not all the time. I thought we would lose in 2005, and especially after the first test. That team had built up over a number of years, and brought in talent, especially in the bowling department. They had nurtured Harmison and Jones, had the steadiness and swing of Hoggard, the power of Flintoff, and the under-rated with bat and ball, Ashley Giles. The bowling here is two OAPs in cricketing age, a steady seamer with fitness doubts, and Potts and Tongue are not Harmison and Jones. But if they play well, they might just get three wins. You never know. The batting might fire on all cylinders.

I am so amused at how Bazball appears to have got under the skin of the Aussie media and resident rent-a-gobs. That’s probably worth it all on its own. Sure, some of them pretend they are joking, but I see them. They want it both ways. Malcolm Conn will only see it one way. I am not sure why I bother looking at him at all!

It should be fun. I doubt I am going to get to see much of it as work is busy, spare time is spent on motorways and trains, non-league football is my true sporting love now, and, well, there’s just not enough hours in the day.

Not sure how we are going to play it over the course of the next six weeks or so on Being Outside Cricket. I am a bit of an absentee landlord these days, but I am sure I might stick my oar into the pond. Whatever, the one thing I am determined to do is enjoy what I do watch because life is too damn short to get angry with everything. If England had stayed on their path, they would have been beaten. In 2019 we won a dead rubber, in all essence, and relied upon a miracle that will never be repeated. Now we have a punchers chance, maybe a bit more, but England need to put Australia on the ropes early.

If all else looks grim, I can turn away and read one of my secondhand book purchases. Yes, for 50p I bought “That Will Be England Gone” by Michael Henderson. Call the nurse!