By way of entertainment, I’ve been reading some of our old favourite’s work so you don’t have to.
Who might that be, you ask?
Yes, our old man who used to be at the Telegraph, a man who topped our polls for worst journalist on a regular basis, and yes, who deemed us poor saps who write using blog names as “irrelevances” has got himself an Ashes gig with Fox Sports Australia. In return for some coinage to recompense him for his views and insight, Oman’s cricket consultant (what, you didn’t know) has regaled those Down Under with some tremendous insight.
Here’s something from a piece just after Cardiff…
If England were not quite wetting themselves at the prospect of facing Mitchell Johnson and all the other Mitchells currently operating with menace, they were pretty apprehensive about it. But a Cardiff pitch shorn of pace, especially in the middle where the main Mitchell is most effective, brought about a double play after England’s victory – simultaneously raising the home side’s spirits while depressing Australia’s, a situation obvious to anyone who watched the past few days’ play.
Suddenly Alastair Cook and his men know there is little to fear, providing climate change doesn’t accelerate like Lewis Hamilton and turn the pitches rock hard overnight. Facing fast bowlers without fear gnawing at you is bolstering in a way that is hard to explain to those who have never been pinned to the crease by 90mph thunderbolts aimed at your throat.
I love hindsight. Yes, I was going on about distress signals, but also, this is a tough bunch of professionals now, not some flaky old players with no recent success behind them and I recognised that. I suppose the Aussie audience want some good old fashioned Pommie jingoism, Muppet…
Tours can unravel at an alarming speed when they start as badly as this one has done for Australia. Teams can play poorly, that is the nature of sport, but it cannot help that Clarke, with his chronic back problems, and several other senior players are on their last Ashes tour.
This is it now. All first test malaises are to be measured about a tour that unravelled spectacularly with our lot. You note that Australia lost the first two over here last time and definitely had the better of the third and to a lesser degree the fifth tests because they did not collapse. It does not follow that Australia will act like England did 18 months ago. However, in lazy journo mode, this is the only precedent, it seems, worth considering.
As a captain heading for the exit and no doubt worn down by the prospect of being the first Australian to lose four Ashes series in England, any further setbacks could see him move on mentally to the next phase of his career.
I don’t know. That doesn’t sound like Michael Clarke to me. What say you?
Maybe Shane Warne’s claim that Starc is ‘soft’ will pique him into declaring himself fit.
Oh yeah. That would do it. Wouldn’t be a muppet piece without some snark.
England, hugely buoyed by their swaggering victory, will also take heed of the recent past. They went one-nil up against New Zealand earlier this summer only to be hauled back to parity in the second Test. Yet that was before Trevor Bayliss had settled onto his perch on the dressing-room balcony, an Aussie hawk to lend talons to Cook’s English dove.
Finally, Cardiff, despite being an opening Test, felt like a watershed moment. During the Ashes series six years ago, Cook’s predecessor Andrew Strauss announced that Australia had lost their aura, and was proved right. Expect Cook to advance that claim again.
I do miss him at the Telegraph. It felt like a watershed, there’s a hawk for poor ickle Ally’s little precious dove (the deer shooting callous bastard). Beautiful. Brings a tear to my eye.
But there’s a lot more. There’s a podcast that I’m sorry, you can’t pay me enough to listen to. My eyes are sore enough as it is without feeling the need to stick nails in them listening to this man’s wit and wisdom. So I’ll read some more…
OUCH, that hurt.
Mitchell Johnson may not have bruised many England bodies at Lord’s, but his fast aggressive bowling broke their resolve.
Three wickets did not do his savage brilliance justice, but Australia will tell you it is a team game and the other bowlers certainly benefited from his efforts as England’s second innings disintegrated in a measly 37 overs.
You changed fast, Muppet.
Less edifying is the sight of craven capitulation, something England were guilty of and something their selectors have a fortnight to come to terms with.
Getting bowled out in the fewest overs ever in the fourth innings in a Test at Lord’s has created an unholy mess and James Whitaker and his panel must now figure out how, and who, they need to cope with Mitch and the other Mitchells.
It will not be simple.
Three of England’s top four are ailing badly though there are hardly a plethora of worthy candidates bashing down the door.
Less a watershed, more a boggy swamp. One week eh? Needed rock hard pitches, eh? No-one seemed to consider the Aussies came into the first test a little undercooked, did they?
Now, there are hardly a plethrora of worthy candidates bashing down the door. That’s partly because the ECB locked one in the cellar and chucked away the key, the duplicitous lying bastards. There is no way this Muppet will mention his name. Here comes the insight:
Jonny Bairstow reached a hundred for Yorkshire the exact moment Jos Buttler edged Johnson to Peter Nevill and has been in purple form all summer.
But it wasn’t long ago he was discounted for Test cricket because of a problem against the short ball.
The Romans may not have minded one-sided contests in the colosseum, but unless Bairstow has overcome his apprehension against the bouncer it would be cruel to pitch him against Johnson in this mood.
There will be advocates for batsmen like Alex Hales and James Taylor, but neither has done well for Nottinghamshire in red ball cricket this season.
James Vince, from Hampshire, has been on the fringes of England selection and can pull well, but like most young players he is the spawn of T20.
“The spawn of T20” being spat out like it’s vile. David Warner is the spawn of T20. One could argue Virat Kohli is. Our wicket-keeper made his name in T20. Why the bile, Degsy?
I thought I’d also highlight this magnificent piece of muppetry that I want to stick on a plinth and polish every day:
In another era Ben Stokes would have been dropped for sheer stupidity after he was run out by Johnson, a dismissal that would not have occurred had he the whit to ground his bat.
Stokes is a huge talent but will never fully realise it while he refuses to engage his grey matter in the sporting process.
There it is. Right there. What is wrong with English cricket. People who write this absolute fuckwittery retain paid positions.
Australia now have all their batsmen, Clarke perhaps the exception though he did make an unbeaten 32 setting the target, and all their main bowlers, confident and firing.
Suddenly, the woes of the world are England’s — a feeling Cook and some of his players know only too well when it comes to Ashes cricket.
A week is a long time in cricket. So it is in cricket writing.
Do you want more?
How about this from Day 2 of the 1st Test:
It looked like hopeful thinking until Smith, who came into the series with some serious plaudits about being the best batsman in world cricket, got in a horrible tangle and poked the ball to Alastair Cook at short mid-wicket, instantly transporting England’s captain into the realms of tactical genius.
Yes. Good captaincy, good field position, snark at Smith, job done. Smoke blown up Cooky’s backside. Lovely.
Next – how about Derek’s marks out of 10…
I think some of this is accurate, but some of the digs…well….
At the moment he looks jittery at the crease and is not watching the ball, a problem Mark Ramprakash, England’s batting coach, also suffered from when uptight, which was most of the time.
No personal vendetta there given who he replaced, Muppet?
But 128 runs in his last 12 Test innings suggests chances aplenty and the selectors should move on.
Remember, there are no replacements. So drop him (Bell).
He has tired quickly during series before and it may be that back-to-back Tests hit him hard.
Someone check that out with Root. Thought it was technical issues and opening/ number 3 in previous series v Australia, but swear he got a big hundred in the 5th test at The Oval last year, didn’t he? Where’s this nonsense come from?
Three ratings for Stokes, a supremely gifted cricketer though one you would not necessarily want in your pub quiz team.
Being in your pub quiz team = a requirement for great test teams. You snob.
Trouble is idiotic tendencies do overcome him, like his naive run-out in the second innings where he failed to ground his bat despite being well in.
His dismissal did not make a difference to the result but its carefree nature was suggestive of a team who does not give a fig about losing and England supporters won’t tolerate that.
You see, the one thing I think about Ben Stokes is that he doesn’t give a toss. All that anger and rage in him, shows up his lack of giving a toss. What the effing hell is this muppet on about? He made a mistake running between the wickets. Jesus. It’s hardly a death penalty offence. But no, he’s a bit rough round the edges, a bit angry, a bit not my type, so the lectures rain down on him. Stokes had better watch out, because they need a new KP, and he’s prime candidate.
Blue-eyed boy, literally and metaphorically. Or at least he was until his star began to wane to the point where he has made just two significant Test scores (fifty plus) in his last 11 innings.
More famous in the last Test when he walked, Adam Gilchrist-style after nicking off to Nathan Lyon, but wicketkeepers have always been strange beasts. His ‘keeping has been decent enough but he needs to deliver a telling knock soon.
This is drivel. Pure drivel.
Another with two ratings but another cricketing schizophrenic. He carried the home side’s attack manfully on an unresponsive pitch (at least for England’s bowlers) yet he appears to have excused himself from getting stuck in with the bat.
His shot-a-ball insouciance, when England could have done with some hard grind, was inexcusable except in the second innings when the end was nigh. A classy Test bowler but a vaudeville act with the bat.
He’s resorting to madness now.
Wonderful stuff. As I say, I miss him. Like a dog misses fleas. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The more you read of this, the more gems. Some more from other articles…
The other predictable outcome was that Ian Bell is too good a player not to make a major contribution, eventually, having been in deep torpor since last summer.
I’d love thepoetseye to do a job on that shite.
Then there’s talent spotting:
Smith came into the series being lauded by his countrymen as the greatest batsman currently in world cricket. He made 33 in each innings but to this observer he looks too fidgety to be worthy of such a grand claim. His dismissal yesterday, to a ball many would have done well to reach, does not suggest the inner calm possessed by the true gods of batting.
Most of us got over those reservations a few years ago. Here’s what Smith is….. a quick learner. Also, it’s not just the Aussies claiming that title, the ICC rankings seem to concur. Maybe we should have the Muppet Rankings instead.
A few days later…
Smith, who brought his hundred up with a pull for four off James Anderson, played the more fluent innings, if anyone that fidgets as much as he does at the crease can be so described. His shuffle across the stumps is one of the more expansive trigger movements in the game but despite his head moving as the ball is on its way he meets it with the middle of the bat so often that England’s bowlers started to wear that put upon look and pose the rhetorical question of whether this was really a home Test?
Still on about the fidgeting…. how does he do it, you can see him asking himself.
Quite what Cook could, other than rotate his bowlers and hope for a mistake from the batsmen, was not obvious. He needed to dry up the runs and build pressure but none of his bowlers was able to achieve that.
Genius. “Ah, eff it” captaincy.
The last time England took only one wicket in an Ashes Test was Headingley in 1993. On that occasion Australia went from 307 for three to 613 for four. After the match, which England lost, Graham Gooch resigned the captaincy something Cook will not be doing should the same fate befall his team this time.
Not really sure what the point of this was other to mention two England captains from his county.
Being Outside Cricket 
I haven’t clicked the link. The Stokes stuff is rancid enough, but please tell me the “shot a ball insouciance” section isn’t Stuart Broad?
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It is. It is.
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Broad it was.
Because obviously, it is too much to ask of the batsmen to bat, so blame the bowlers when they slog a bit. England were only 445 from the target when Broad came in. Clearly a position from which England would have won with sensible batting …
Derek also seems to struggle to tell the difference between whits and wits. Maybe because there is not a whit of evidence in Derek having any wit.
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I’d be holding off listening or reading these in the hope somebody would take the task on and save me the bile – thanks LCL!
Nothing there quite beats Ed Smith’s “deeper kind of momentum” though…..
CWOTV tomorrow has Lawrence Booth, Ali Martin and Greg Baum.
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I may watch that, I like Greg Baum and Booth
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By the way, following on from a previous discussion: pro-KP puff pieces only happen in the Telegraph apparently, so “it must be everyone else who has the agenda eh”.
Yes, now you come to mention it.
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The stuff about Smith astounds me. It is clear dear old Dickrek Pringles has not watched Smith at all. Anyone who watched the Aus v India tests and subsequently Aus v WI could have told you Smith would probably score runs over here and quite a few. For me it is atrocious that a paid journalist knows so little outside of team England!
Surely they (paid journalists), should watch all types and teams in cricket and research players before commenting etc.
Appalling prat is Pringles.
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Paid, yes. Journalist? Ahem ahem.
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“Surely they (paid journalists), should watch all types and teams in cricket and research players before commenting etc”.
You mean instead of relying on thirty year old prejudices and what Andy Flower told them? Steady on!
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Ah thank you LCL, it must have taken a strong stomach to deal with a bilious inadequate writing in the MSM.
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If anyone knows what drugs Pringle is taking, please let me know so that I can avoid them. They must make roads seem like rivers, buildings like mattresses. Scary.
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Is the picture Putin and Blatter doping the world cup draw?
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Not since the Cambridge spy scandal has an Oxbridge university education been so wasted as dear old Degsy’s. Does he not have another way of earning a living? His writing talents (such as they are) puts him in the bracket of other useless professions. A Master chocolate teapot maker for instance? Or an Accountant at Kodak films.
His touch is very light with the brush. Little dabs here and there, but the overall picture is rather confusing and muddled. “England are great, No they are not.” ……….”Australia are crap, No they are not.” …..”Smith is overated, No he is not.” …….
Some themes never change. Degsy has his favourite paint colours that he comes back to again and again. He never tires of breaking open a new tube of Burnt Siena Cooky goodness! (Cook is a genius who can never be questioned. ) how many times did Leonardo da Vinci paint The Mona Lisa? Or John Constable paint the Hay Wain? Even the Masters moved on to something else.
Poor old Stokes is the new punch bag of English cricket. Maybe his tattoos are a reminder of a certain person who can’t be named. The right sort of families don’t allow tattoos. Who knew Degsy was such a snob? The contrast between Cook and Stokes first innings efforts at Lords, and the way they were portrayed is stark. Cooks 96 is painted like a Vermeer master. Stokes on the other hand is reduced to an end of the Pier picture post card with a rude joke attached about his stupidity. Stokes is the stick of rock, with the kiss me quick hat.
Even the class conscious Telegraph grew tired of this drivel.
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“Less a watershed, more a boggy swamp. One week eh? Needed rock hard pitches, eh? No-one seemed to consider the Aussies came into the first test a little undercooked, did they?”
Dmitri, I’m not sure they were undercooked, although it’s certainly possible. People and teams are not robots, they have good days and bad days, just like you and I. If England has a good few days and Aus has a bad few days, England will win, and we saw that.
I don’t think Australia will have many more bad days now. They didn’t just win at Lords, they also expanded their options and capabilities. They got bigger, while England’s options shrunk.
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I admire your disdain, but reading through this I suspect Pringle is just a wind up artist. I don’t think you should get annoyed at him, because what he writes is obviously just intended to provoke. I think Selvey by way of comparison presents himself as a serious cricket writer, and so deserves legitimate honest criticism, but this Pringle stuff is just rabble rousing, it’s laughable, and it’s not worth responding to. Any person with half a brain will read a few sentences and then move on.
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But Fred, one describes the other as the epitome of “well-informed cricket journalism”, bemoaned his dismissal from the Daily KPgraph and said there is “no-one better connected than he.”
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I see no difference between Selvey and Pringle. Both average players from a similar age. Both medium pacers (Pringle the more successful at international cricket) but neither set the world alight. Both cynical old county pros who would not have bennifited from an IPL, so understand the bitterness, and petty jealousies of a professional dressing room.
Both have an almost creepy obsession in Cook, and a loathing of KP. Both write the same lazy agenda of Pro Cook , and anti any player who challenges Cook. If Pringlle is a wind up merchant then the same can be said for Selvey and many others. It seems a particular disease among Englands cricket writers.
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Maybe there’s some collegial protection going on there, but don’t you agree Pringle is an order of magnitude worse than Selvey? Selvey writes like he thinks his opinion has some value and people should listed to him (not an unreasonable stance, even if some people beg to differ), but Pringle writes as if he’s trying to fire up an audience.
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I’ve just read through all the Pringle quotes again, to find evidence of what Pringle said that Selvey would never say. I found one or two instances, but I have to accept that overall, there’s not such a difference. Pringle has a more florid style, but it’s true they come down to more or less the same thing. Selvey adopts the voice of the expert, Pringle adopts the voice of the popular pundit.
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Fred
If you’re still around, I think you might enjoy this interview. And the “Waitrose” punchline, which enhances the sense that we’re being asked to support a corporate entity rather than a national team.
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Oops, this interview:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/theashes/11762457/Ashes-2015-Stuart-Broad-insists-Lords-was-a-blip-and-England-will-fight-back.html#disqus_thread
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Arron,
OK, perhaps I shouldn’t comment, because I don’t read all the English press and so don’t see the full picture. I’ve always thought Australian newspapers were worse then English ones, but now I’m not so sure. I know the Sun and the News of the World and Daily Mail are scum, but I thought Telegraph was somewhat serious, but it seems not. That distorted photo of Stu beaming half way through the article is…I don’t know what. Extraordinary.
I know Australian cricket can be crass and vulgar and abrasive, but the more I see England buy into this nonsense, the more I long for the crude passion of Border, Merv Hughes and Warner. It even makes Botham look good (although even he was one of those drooling over the Stanford plastic box of $1M helicoptered into Lords. Onto Lords).
I find it best for me just to watch the cricket, and pay not much attention to those who comment on it.
At the moment, Carlos Kleiber is about to conduct Beethoven 7 on my DVD player, and I think that needs my full attention.
I’d like to add that Brad Haddin wil be surprising local residents in Derby by making deliveries for Woolworths this weekend.
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Fred.
It’s fun.
Seriously.
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I know it’s fun.
I don’t really understand your comment.
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Many years ago, I discovered a charming piece of software called Bovine Excrement Generator. Choose a couple of options, press go and out would come a page of perfectly convincing business twaddle. I suspect Pringle is sitting with his feet up somewhere with a glass of Pimm’s and now and then his editor phones to demand some copy. So Pringle, with one hand, goes into nonsense typing mode – it’s always worked before.
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You cannot make this up:
“Andrew Strauss denies sending email about Ashes pitch preparation”
http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2015/jul/25/andrew-strauss-ashes-pitches
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All on a Sunday morning:
Death of a Gentleman
“The film’s basic message is that cricket lovers should know they are being screwed over by boards single-mindedly driven by the pursuit of commerce and greed,” Collins told The Independent on Sunday. “A lack of independent regulation means cricket is being run in a way that fans become chequebooks and players become pawns. Things can change – but we need people to lobby their MPs and to call for independent accountability. ”
http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/cricket/death-of-a-gentleman-film-blames-demise-of-test-cricket-on-administrators-human-greed-10416065.html
Pitchgate
“one senior MCC figure — believed to be former Essex all-rounder John Stephenson — admitted during the Lord’s Test that the match was being played on a ‘corporate pitch’. That would indicate the order for wickets designed to last five days, and therefore maximise revenue from sold-out venues, could have come from higher up the ECB chain, with chief executive Tom Harrison or president Giles Clarke possible candidates.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/cricket/article-3174634/Andrew-Strauss-denies-sending-email-telling-counties-prepare-five-day-pitches-did-order-Ashes-slow-tracks.html#ixzz3gyRS13nV
Commerce, greed, maximise revenue…Never. What does ECB-TV say to this:
Sky propose £40m deal for city-based Twenty20 league to rival IPL and Big Bash
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/cricket/article-3174712/Sky-propose-40m-deal-city-based-Twenty20-league-rival-IPL-Big-Bash.html
Have a peaceful Sunday all.
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“Curiouser and curiouser” said Alice. That’s Alice in Wonderland, not Alice Cook!
The ECB has gone down the rabbit hole already. I Dont believe a word they say. And I don’t believe a word Strauss says either.
Definition of Lords. A corporate pitch, and a corporate crowd to watch a corporate team.
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All I can say is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Will no one rid me of this petulant Pringle
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First five minutes of CWOTV:
1) Paul Allott says Warne has written Edgbaston will help spin – and that Jonathan Liew has written the same thing. “Great minds think alike”, he adds with arched eyebrow. Ho ho ho.
2) He then goes on to claim England would have dropped nine players in the same position in the 1990s. I’ve checked the 3rd and 4th Tests in 1997 (when a series was most analogous to what it is now). England made one change (the horses-for-courses’ change of Smith for Caddick). Looking at the team they should have made more (Ealham? Crawley?).
Lawrence Booth has just pointed out if England win it’ll create the longest Win-Loss-Win-Loss sequence in Test history.
Oh joy, we’re off to the Fox Sports’ Studio in Australia after the break……
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Fox Sports’ Studio in Australia – I take it all back!
One of the things England need to do to win the series? “Lift the ban on Kevin Pietersen”. Allott couldn’t get to the commercial break quickly enough.
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Did he return to it? What do you think?
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This is the problem: control of the narrative. It’s like the Tory line on the economy. Unless its rebutted publicly and immediately it becomes the new common sense. So most viewers, including those who watched the 1997 series will walk away thinking that around 9 players were dropped simply because a designated ‘expert’ says so. It’s horrific.
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True, it’s a little exaggeration, but really, it’s as daft to say that you don’t take results into consideration. It’s almost the other way round now, and that the reaction to defeat is to back the players who lost and changes have to be wrung out of the selectors. This means when you do find yourself faced with moments of crisis, you haven’t got a pool of experience.
See Lyth. See Rashid.
There are what, three places up for question? Lyth as opener, who seems to be benefitting from the TINA syndrome. There was Ballance for a run of poor form. Then there is Bell, who is in a bad run and the possibility remains that he is shot as an international cricketer (and I hope I’m wrong about that).
Not sure even this defeat would have resulted in the level of panic even half that Allott might have feared!
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The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced the team for Edgbaston is Strauss trying to rerun the Oval 2009.
One new batsman – check.
Promote Bell to No.3 – check.
No Pietersen – check.
Rely on Swann – ah.
Australia get everything wrong – ah (probably).
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http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2015/jul/25/andrew-strauss-ashes-pitches
Dear Andrew,
We didn’t say if it was you. Did we? But If Trevor hasn’t had any time with the team, and Cook is too slow to think of tactics, who could it have been? Hmmm.
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“Strauss did not deny that an email had been sent, but was clear with the England players and coaches that it had not come from him.”
So who did send it then? It Should be quite simple to find out. I challenge one of the counties to print the email publicly, and assuming there is an email address, and signature, we can see who is responsible.
This is more of the usual “he said, she said” bullshit that emanates from the ECB. It’s just like all the guff about KP…… “we know things that you don’t know, but we can’t tell you what they are.”
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How about one of the journalists doing some, y’know, investigation……
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And now, from Bedford, it’s Stat of the Century:
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“Bowling dry” has only ever been an English phenomenon it seems 😉
And, there’s the manifestation of camaraderie, we all knew existed. #slowbowlerswhothinktheyarefastclub
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I’m too young to remember Selvey but I heard he was distinctly medium-fast despite a rather favourable write-up on cricinfo. Pringle really was a mediocre trundler at test level but managed to get a fair few wickets in the 2-2 draw with rather gentle away swingers.
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I tried to find youtube coverage of Selvey bowling but failed!
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Look up Gordon Greenidge’s two centuries in the 1976 OT Test and you’ll see Selvey bowling.
I haven’t checked but if there is any footage of Viv Richards’ 291 in the next Test at the Oval you should see him bowling there as well.
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Here you go:
Not only Selvey bowling but also the former chairman of selectors as an added bonus……
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Two of the biggest cricket writer tossers are from England.
#thepringleeffect
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Lots of Ian Bell articles about today. Anyone else noticing how all of them have this stat that Bell has never made a century at Edgbaston.
I know that there’s the added factor that it’s Bell’s home ground – but I wonder how many of the press corps will note Cook’s record at TB when the teams move on there for the 4th Test? Cook averages 20 on the ground with a top score of just 50:
http://goo.gl/8Dv4CK
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Since the start of the back-to-back Ashes, Cook has scored just over 100 more Test runs than Bell at an average 1.8 higher (1815 at 37.6 plays 1502 at 35.8).
So obviously one is the greatest his country has ever produced and the other is one game away from being dropped.
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I can answer that Simon; no-one.
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That’s a glorious 20, covered in blood and sweat that the ungrateful out of cricket peepz can never learn to appreciate. 😉
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I hope that Bell does not look out of the window during the team talk or whistle…. It strikes me that being an English cricketer while Cook is captain is a little like being in the Gulags. Exceeding your quota means yoiu get dropped. Not exceeding your quota means you get dropped. The only perfect person is Cook(y), who manages to get everything right.
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Anyone who hasn’t done so, go read Pavilion Opinion’s latest piece for cricinfo, about a new cricket planet. Go read it now.
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I’m traveling at the moment, and have limited internet access — won’t see a ball of the coming test, but might manage to check the scores at the end of the first day or two (which might be enough to know….)
I posted a sheepish retraction here of my comments predicting a heavy Australian loss at Lord’s. I haven’t looked at the English press, but I wonder how many of the gloaters and “momentum change” freaks acknowledged their errors?
Did Ed Smith hypothesise that there is a deeper kind of deep momentum that is deeper than Deep EdSmithian Momentum? Did he explain how Australia went from looking like a team of oldsters clinging desperately to a rock face to a team of monsters? Perhaps it is all down to quantum physics and chaos effects leading to a paradigm shift that reductionist scorecard-oriented cricket confabuists cannot explain.
I do think that it could have turned out somwhat differently had England won the toss. But not *that* differently. I assume the ECB got the pitches they ordered — Selvey specifically named M Hunt as the cultprit, which is a clear indicator that he isn’t. It would be interesting to know what exactly went on. It’s surprising that emails were sent, clearly spelling out what the counties should have been able to intuit anyway. What a pity that no journalists have any inside leads into the ECB or the counties, and there are never any leaks.
Three possibilities, that are not mutually exclusive — 1. a chief exec’s wicket/ 2. a wicket for Cooky to make a big ton on / 3. a botched attemtp at sidelining the Mitches, deserving a prominent place on the “Great ECB Plans that Comically Backfired” honours board. (I suspect all 3)
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